Nine

 

I don’t know why Milo eventually decided to pound on the ceiling and make them stop the carriage. I had lost all sense of anything. My powers were on, my back burned, and I floated … somewhere.

The door opened with a slam, and Bryant shoved himself inside. He and Milo spoke loudly. It hurt my ears. I nestled down into Milo’s shoulder.

“Anne, love, you have to let me go. I’m going to help you. Bryant is here. He’s not going to leave you.”

Bryant sat down on my other side. “I can’t believe you let this go this long. She’s needed help.”

“And now she’s going to get it. There was nothing we could have done before now. Trust me.”

“I do.” Bryant’s tone didn’t speak of happiness, but he didn’t say anymore.

Milo moved slightly. “Movement hurts her. I think her powers are hurting her. She’s super brave. Whenever she’s awake, she tries to be pleasant.” Had I? I didn’t remember doing so. I’d been sleeping pretty much the whole time, as far as I knew. “Hold her head. Gently.”

“Got it.” Bryant slowly moved my head until I was readjusted next to him. Milo ran from the carriage, closing the door behind him.

I was really confused. “Isn’t it nighttime?”

“Sure is. Middle of it.” Bryant’s voice was like a balm; a warm pleasure moved through me hearing it. Even if they were all going to leave and I would never see them again, I needed this now.

He adjusted slightly, until I fell more into the corner of his arm than his shoulder. I snuggled closer. He smelled like the woods and clean air. Riding above, outside the carriage, had given him the scent of the night.

“Who did this to you?” He put his hand on my arm, and when I flinched, he stopped moving it.

“Sister Superior, as is her right.”

He didn’t answer, but his body tensed. “I would protect you from any that would cause you harm.”

“You can’t protect me from her.”

He turned his head slightly. “For the next month or so, you’re nowhere near her.”

“That’s true. Where did Milo go? Aren’t we in the middle of nothing?”

He pointed out the right window. “Can you see the flickering lights in the distance? Don’t strain your body if it hurts. Trust me, they’re there. It’s a town.”

“Nothing is going to be open in the middle of the night, and I don’t know what he thinks to do anyway. I’ve spent a night or two living through this before. There’ll be nowhere to buy anything at this hour.”

He snorted, a sound I wasn’t used to from Bryant. “Oh, I doubt very much he’s going to buy anything. He might leave some money. Or maybe not. He’ll be coming back with whatever he’s got in his mind to get. Whether or not he paid for it.”

His words dawned on me, and I sat up, too fast. The pain stopped me from responding for a second. “Easy there.” Bryant steadied me, and I leaned against the seat.

“He’s going to steal something?”

The leader of my guards nodded once. “Sure. To protect you? Any of us would.”

“Bryant, I know very little about you. The others have been talking to me, not you. Can you tell me about yourself?

His eyes seemed to glitter in the moonlight. “Well, I was born not far from here, actually. Right past Hazeltown. My parents worked in a factory there.”

“Oh, so you’re not from the Deadlands.” That was unusual. Most of the guards were.

“Not initially, no. But after they were both possessed, I was sent there to live in an orphanage. But by the time I got there, that orphanage was gone. A man—a doctor—he took pity on me and, rather than let me starve, let me live in his basement and run errands for him. In exchange, he fed me. I learned a lot. His patients didn’t have a high survival rate. Can’t do much for the body when the soul goes. I’d hear them scream …”

His voice trailed off. Was he reliving those nights in the basement? I touched his arm, and he turned to me, blinking rapidly. “I’m sorry, Anne. I don’t think of that time often.” He entwined his fingers with mine. “Why are your powers on right now? Why are they turning on every night?”

“I wish I knew. Just keeps happening. Right now, they’re really pounding. I could probably kill a midlevel demon without having to stand.”

He nodded. “I hate that it’s happening so much.”

“Oh.” I hadn’t realized they bothered him. “I’m sorry.” I looked out the other window. “I wish I could control it so I could make you all more comfortable.”

“Look at me.” His simple command made me turn my head. “I don’t mind your powers because they bring me discomfort, and even if I did, it wouldn’t matter. I mind your powers because every time you use them, your eyes fade to white a little bit more. I thought we’d have a few years, but they’re going faster because of your nightly surges. I’m going to lose your eyes, and they’ve been in my heart since the moment I met you. All I could see through the holes in your hood. They called to me, told me you were mine. You’d just come out of initiation, and they brought us to you.”

I loved how he remembered it. “I was utterly terrified of all of you.”

“I had no idea. I thought you were lovely.”

That was impossible. “You couldn’t see my face.”

“I didn’t need to. The eyes told me all I needed to know. And they’re leaving me.” He looked away.

I touched his face, and he went still. “They were always going to do this. I don’t even notice the change. I can’t tell you how it makes me feel to hear you speak the way you do.”

“Anne, I can feel you inside of me. What are you doing? Feeding me …”

I didn’t understand what he meant, “I don’t know.”

“They’ve all been bouncing like boys. I thought it was the intimacy, but maybe it’s something else. Something you’re doing, fixing. Stop it. I don’t want you making yourself more ill to take care of me.”

“Bry, I’m not sure what you mean.”

He leaned over and kissed my lips. “I know.”

I let him make love to my mouth. Bryant’s caresses spoke of tenderness, of caring, of how he felt about me. He moaned slightly and adjusted our position so he could hold me tighter. The pain of the movement overwhelmed the moment, and I reared back.

His face fell. “I am so sorry. I hurt you. I wouldn’t for anything. I lost my head … I’m …”

I kissed his nose. “Stop it. You’re not responsible for any of this.”

The door banged open, and Milo rushed back in. “Oh, you two look cozy.” He leaned down and kissed me on the lips. I tensed. It wasn’t that I didn’t want Milo kissing me—I did—but right in front of Bryant? I looked between the two of them, and neither seemed bothered.

Milo went on. “Help me out. We’re going to fix this.” He held up a package in his hand. “Just as I thought; they had it.”

“What is it?”

“Something that’s going to help, love.” When had Milo started calling me that? I didn’t mind, per se, except for the whole leaving-me-eventually thing.

I sat forward and didn’t even object when they started to pull off my clothes. I’d been naked so many times that day; I hardly noticed it anymore. When they looked at my back and arms, they both went silent.

Bryant muttered something, and I could only make out a little bit of it. “Sadistic” and “monster” seemed to be the words he said. One of them touched my back, and suddenly the burning stopped. It felt like a cream, but I wasn’t sure. I didn’t dare turn around to look at what they were doing. It felt too good, and I didn’t want it to stop for anything in the world.

My head fell forward. “This was smart thinking, Milo.”

“On the trains, we used to transport some of the working girls back and forth from locations. They might even be paid to take care of the nobility on the train. Sometimes they got beaten up. I helped when I could.”

I must have fallen asleep just like that. I woke up clothed, if sort of twisted in them, in Milo’s arms. He lay stretched out with his head against the wall, asleep. I sprawled out on top of him. My back was cool and I could readjust without wanting to wail.

My powers were off. In the distance, I heard a train siren. I sat up fast, causing Milo to open his eyes suddenly. He looked around before he focused. “You okay?”

“I heard … a train.”

He rubbed his nose and then dragged me back down into his arms. “That’s what happens at train stations.”

He smelled like cherries. Where had he picked up that scent? “Shouldn’t we be getting on the train?”

“They’ll have to unload it. Will take some time. Then we’ll get on. Keep resting. We’re pretty sure you were brewing an infection. You need to sleep.”

“I’m not tired. I feel pretty okay right now.”

He didn’t answer me; his eyes were already closed. I listened to his heart beat strongly. I was going on a train. I’d never imagined in my whole life that would happen.

Months from the Sisterhood. I promised myself that when I got back, I’d have answers about how I would conduct the rest of my life. I’d figure things out, somehow.

 

With my hood on my head, I bought us two train tickets for first class cabins that were connected. The tickets would be good for this ride and the five we’d have to take after this one. My guards had tried to insist we only needed one room since they’d be staying in the hallway to guard me with only one of them in my room. We had weeks of travel ahead of us. They could rotate who was where, but they would have a room to rest in separate from mine, in case I started to grate on their nerves or they on mine.

Not that I could imagine that happening from my end …

Once on the train, I took a shower, letting the hot water hit me. It felt good, but it rinsed the healing cream right off me. I was still sore, and some of the burn came back. I’d no sooner put a towel around myself when I looked up to see Bryant leaning in the doorway, his gaze caressing me. He held up the cream in his hand.

“Let me?”

I nodded and walked toward him. In front of him, I dropped the towel and he massaged the cream into my skin, taking his time with each touch. “Last night when we did this, you dropped unconscious almost instantly. Scared me, but I think you were so relieved to have some decrease in your discomfort that you could finally really sleep.”

The train moved forward for the first time, letting out a screech of the siren before it took off, gaining speed. I’d never been on one before, and it was everything I could do to stay upright.

“Weird, right? My first time on a train was to come to see if I could be a guard.” Bryant bent over and kissed my neck.

I shivered, my breasts tingling. I wanted him. I wasn’t going to pretend otherwise. I turned around to regard him. His blond hair was tied up in its usual bun. He could stop me if he wanted to, but I reached up, grabbing the restraint and letting his hair fall down around his shoulders.

His locks were golden, shiny. I touched them lightly, and he smiled at me. “I have hot dreams about you touching my hair.”

I could hardly breathe. “What do I do with it?”

He picked me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me to the bed and lay me down. It was roughly the same size as the one I had at the Sisterhood.

His gaze sought mine like he looked for something, and then eventually he nodded. I wasn’t privy to whatever conversation he’d had in his own head, but he’d clearly settled on something. What was it?

“Someday I’ll tell you about my dreams that involve my hair. For now, I want to just love you. Okay?”

My throat felt clogged. “No one has ever loved me.”

“I always will.”

For the next four years … I pushed away the thought. Few got forever, particularly in our world where one day someone was healthy and the next they were possessed by a demon and left to die in a hole somewhere. I wouldn’t look for more than happiness when I could have it. Right then, Bryant was joy.

His mouth met mine, and I knew one thing for sure, I didn’t want to stop until he was deep inside of me. He could remember when he’d met me; well, I remembered him too. He’d been a Two then. I’d disliked my number One. He’d been angry and annoyed with me. I could tell, even though I’d done nothing yet to bother anyone.

But the then-Two—my Bryant—had kind eyes and hadn’t minded when I’d stammered through introductions. I’d thought he hated me, as I assumed they all did. But he had, at least, the good manners to not make me feel like an idiot.

Now he kissed me like I mattered to him most in the world. His lips were gentle, and his breath sweet. I let myself run my hands through his hair while he pressed on top of me. He must have liked it; I could feel his cock getting harder, pressing down on me, the longer we caressed.

He pulled at my clothes, and I helped him take them off me. Eventually, I pulled at his shirt and pants until we were both nude. He had seen me thus many times now but not like this. Still, I looked down, not meeting his eyes. “I don’t suppose there were any secrets left about what I look like.”

“You glow with beauty. You know that, right?”

I stroked his cheeks. “That’s just my powers.”

“Bullshit.” He kissed me before I could respond, his hand on my head, touching my small tendrils of hair. If ever I needed a reminder of how odd I truly could look, it was with my nearly bald head, shaved of most of my hair.

I reached between us to stroke his hard length, feeling it grow in my hand. He practically growled against my lips. I’d done something right. His blond hair fell past his shoulders, touching me gently, like a slight caress, while the heat grew between us.

He stroked my breasts, eventually scooting down so he could take my nipple in his mouth. I cried out. How could something pinch and feel good at the same time? “Bry, I love that.”

He lifted his head only long enough to speak. “Please keep calling me Bry, always.”

Okay, I could easily keep doing that. I stroked his hard abs. The guards were strong because they worked at staying that way. “You’re so beautiful.”

“I should be saying that to you.” He scooted downward, and I gripped his shoulder. “I want to get there with you in me. Is that what you want?”

“You want to give that to me?” His eyes widened. “I feel lucky to touch you; I want to make you feel good. I didn’t imagine you’d actually want that with me. I … yes.”

I kissed him gently on the mouth. “Yes. Please.”

“Don’t ever say please to me. I am for you, always.”

I took both his cheeks in my hands. “Don’t say always. Okay?” I kissed him before he could answer. Again and again. Bryant moaned loudly, moving his body until he positioned at my core.

“Anne, I don’t want to hurt you. We’ll go slowly.”

I bit his bottom lip, and he shivered above me. “I trust you, Bry.”

Slowly, ever so achingly so, he pressed inside of me. He was right. It could have hurt. But each inch he stretched me felt like heaven until he was deep inside of me. I’d never been so full. “You’re inside of me.”

I knew it was a ridiculous thing to say. Of course he was. That had been the whole idea. But the reality was something so different than I’d expected, I could almost not quite believe it.

“Anne.” His voice shook. “You feel like home.”

A muscle ticked in his jaw. I could see the strain on his face. He needed to move, and I wanted to talk. What was the matter with me? Bryant pressed a finger in between us, stroking my clit. That was all I needed. My muscles clenched around him. I wanted more.

“Good?” He pulled out a little bit and pressed in again. The friction was heaven.

“Amazing.”

He kissed down on my neck. “I’d do anything for you. Anything.”

I squeezed him tightly inside of me; the deeper I could take him, the better it was. I had never done this before, but it felt like I knew Bryant intimately already, like we were old lovers who knew each other’s ways.

I didn’t know how long we moved together because time ceased to matter to me. There was only us. He whispered words in my ears; most of them made no sense. “Missed you, missed this,” caught my attention. That made no sense—this was our first time—and yet I understood him perfectly. It was like we had been apart and now could be together again instead of at last.

Who cared what any of it meant? I felt … like I was going to explode, and then I did. All over, again and again. His body jolted above mine as he emptied himself inside of me. We were both panting when he fell on top of me. It didn’t hurt. He was warm where I’d been cold. I wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes.

 

Later, with the train taking us the farthest north I’d ever been and with still so much farther to go, I lay in his arms. He was awake but dozing. His breathing hadn’t changed enough to really be asleep.

“Can you do something for me?” His voice was low. “Really sleep tonight. I can feel what your powers do. The others can too. Since the carriage, I’ve been bouncing. Energized. Awake. I can’t really give you enough words to explain it. Healthy. I don’t need anymore. Don’t turn on in the middle of the night to fix me. We take care of you. You don’t have to see to us anymore.”

I rolled onto my side to touch his chest. “I wish I could understand. I don’t control when or how they turn on. They just do.”

“Hmm.” He didn’t like that answer, but instead of verbalizing, he simply pulled me tighter. My head was on his chest, his hand holding it there gently. It should have felt stifling, but instead it was comfort. Bryant shut out the world. In his embrace, there were only the soft, easy sounds of the train taking us towards the Deadlands.

I dreamed. The beings that had circled me when I’d fought the incubus were there. I could see them, in their inhuman way, as they flew and danced around me. I stood in a circle, fire surrounding me. I was there and yet I wasn’t. At least I knew I wasn’t alone. They were there. My guys. My fated. My chosen.

I turned to look at them all. They wore masks; I couldn’t see their faces.

Chosen …

The flying beings spoke again.

It’s time. It’s time. It’s time.

The scene changed. A woman with blond hair rocked back and forth in a corner. She screamed, cried, grabbed the floor. The poor dear. She couldn’t be more than a few years older than myself. A baby wailed in a crib nearby while her husband paced the length of the train cabin. It looked like my own.

The woman was possessed.

There was nothing I could do for those poor souls. I could only handle bigger demons. Not the taken. Yet … that wasn’t true. I knew it.

I sat up straight in bed. My powers blasted, and the skin on my back still burned. I didn’t care. She needed me.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed as Bryant’s eyes opened. “I don’t need your powers, my lady.” I wasn’t a lady, but now was not the time to argue. Now I needed to work, to use the gifts the Divinity had given me. “Come back to bed.”

“This isn’t for you, Bry.” My voice sounded funny, and the room blurred, all hard edges vanishing. I might think I still slept, except I knew the difference.

Clothing was required. Methodically, I dressed myself.

Bryant grabbed his pants and was quickly at my side. “Demon?”

“Of a sort. She needs me. I won’t say no.” I didn’t expect him to understand. How could he? “I won’t say no. I never say no.”

“Anne, I don’t get it, but you’re not going alone.” He banged on the door before he opened it. I heard groans and the sounds of men waking from sleep. I wasn’t sure what he said. It wasn’t my problem. They would come. They were warriors. They would never leave me. I shook my head. Some of my thoughts seemed like they came from elsewhere.

I hummed to myself a song I didn’t know, but doing so comforted me. I walked toward the door. The woman waited. Mason grabbed my arm. “Hold on. Just a minute.”

I touched his hand. He always caught me first. It was so sweet. “There’s no time to waste.”

The hood was placed gently on my head. Garrett, he always thought of everything. “Not without the covering. It protects you. If people knew who you were without it, you would always be at their mercy. It isn’t only to make you look all spiritual and other.”

How did he know that? I hadn’t considered that role of the hood. I needed to go. Kieran’s voice filled the room. “She’s anxious, and her powers are riding her. We need to let her do what she thinks she has to do. I want to protect her, too. This is her gift. There’s no stopping it; there is only getting out of the way and keeping the rest of the world out of it, too.”

Milo stood in the doorway. “I cleared the hallway.”

They were all so helpful, each one making this possible. I turned to look at them. “Fire can create, can’t it? Even as it burns?”

Kieran looked at Garrett. “Did you follow that?”

“No.” He shook his head.

Bryant charged forward, moving Milo out of the way. “I’m going to walk next to her; the rest of you stay close. No one gets near. No one. Understood?”

“Yes,” they answered at once. They’d follow Bryant anywhere. That was what loyalty looked like.

Silence filled the hallway. Most of the passengers were asleep, and the few we ran into stank of alcohol and overindulgence. None of them got near me. I let the guys do what they did. They were good at their jobs.

I could hear the woman screaming in my mind, and I moved toward the sound. “She’s in so much pain,” I said to no one in particular.

Bryant shook his head. “I hear nothing.”

“That is for the best. I wouldn’t wish this on any of you.”

He narrowed his eyes. “We’d take it from you.”

“Then I wouldn’t be special.” I’d meant it as a light remark, but he hissed in his breath.

“Bullshit.”

Mason punched his arm. “Watch your mouth.”

If only they knew the things demons said to me, they wouldn’t worry about the cursing.

I knocked hard on the door, and then Garrett pulled me back, letting Mason and Bryant stand in front. I was getting in that room, no matter the danger. I hoped they all understood.