Stephanie

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Who knew just sitting in on classes could be exhausting?

I swear Professor Hatch took full advantage of my presence and made me his personal gopher. Go get him coffee. Go deliver this message on an index card.

You know, in an era where we have e-mail and text messages.

Still, I had to endure. I wanted to repair that first impression.

When the final bell rang, though, I was right off to the coffee shop. Emma had been quick to accept my offer to meet up.

The smell of baked goods and other sweet things filled the air as I walked in. Getting a chocolate croissant or something was incredibly tempting.

I resisted, and got my sugar-filled frosted coffee instead, because that was clearly the much better dietary choice.

Walking into the standing area, I saw Emma already at a seat, and wearing dark sunglasses indoors and when it was right around sunset.

"Did you really drink that much last night?" I sat across from her. She was sipping something steaming. I had an idea that it was pure, black coffee.

"I got up three hours ago, so yeah, I think so."

"Jesus. I envy you and don't envy you at the same time."

"Please don't. I mean, I had lots of fun last night, but... damn, am I paying for it now."

I raised an eyebrow with curiosity. "Was the fun before or after the drinks?"

"Before? Like, we fucked, and then he decided that that the rest of the whiskey going to waste would be a shame. So we drank."

"You passed out first?"

"Hell no, that guy was a lightweight. I just kept going for a bit too long after I already won."

A laugh from me. "I guess if you're going to win, you should really win."

"Yeah, I win a nasty splitting migraine. I am so damned thankful I don't have work today." She sipped her coffee. It was definitely black. "Enough about me. I have lots of stuff to regret. You? You don't have so much to regret. Not yet. How'd last night go?" Even with the sunglasses I could see her eyes light up with curiosity.

"Why do you care so much?"

"Well, I assumed you were a virgin."

"I wasn't a virgin, Emma."

"Wasn't?" She grinned. "So you did get laid last night."

God, I hated her when she was this cunning. "Yeah, well, it doesn't mean it was something I don't regret."

"That bad, huh?"

"No, no, not like that."

"That good, huh?"

More shaking of my head. "I should have gotten to know him more. Turns out he's an asshole jock. You know, the type of guy I hate."

"Never fully explained why. Did one give you a swirly or something when I wasn't looking?"

She didn't know about Ryan. It was a dark spot for me, so I didn't go out of my way to talk about it. "No, not that." I figured though if I should talk to anyone about it, it should be Emma.

"Tell me, girl. I'm the shoulder you can cry on."

"What? About last night?"

"Is it something else? Did you have something bad happen while you were away at college?"

A long breath escaped through my lips. "I've been betrayed by asshole jocks twice now. Both times I dared open myself up, I get the knife shoved in my back that I was just used, that I was nothing more than a diversion."

"Jesus, you shouldn't take it so personally, Stephanie. Some people are just out for a good time."

"Yeah, they are, but they don't understand that I want more than that."

"Hopeless romantic, are we?"

"If you wanna trivialize my feelings, yes."

She chuckled. "I'm not trying to do that, girl. So you had a bad night. It doesn't mean all men are pigs forever."

"I don't know, I'm going two for two on the pig men front."

"You're an academic, Steph. You should know more than anyone that two is not a valid sample size."

I grumbled. "I'm not exactly pushing myself to expand the study." Especially when whoever I found, I highly doubted they would make me feel anything like Trevor did.

God, was I spoiled now? Even if I moved on, every time I fucked anyone, I would be comparing them to that time I had Trevor. I hoped I was wrong that he was the best I would ever have, because if he was... well, just kill me now, please.

"Who's this first guy, babe?" Emma sipped her coffee again. Perhaps slurped was the more appropriate verb with how loudly she did it.

"Back in freshmen year in college. Some cool kid flirted with me at a party. He had the letterman's jacket and everything. A big deal, could have had anyone in the entire school, yet he was dropping pick-up lines on me."

"You are a bit of a diamond in the rough."

I shook my head. "No, he was a creep, it just took me too long to realize it. He picked me because I didn't look like everyone else. I went along because, oh my god, the quarterback is all over me. I did whatever he asked. I drank too much. I partied too hard. I..." I paused a bit, still not fully comfortable with talking about such things aloud. "Gave him my virginity."

"Oooh, let me guess. He cheated on you. Or it was part of some bet with his football buddies to see who could deflower the most girls. Or he wanted you to do his homework for him."

"Let's go with all of the above?"

"Ouch. Scumbag."

"You have no idea."

"And you think history is repeating itself here?"

I nodded. "He's some football player from the local college. You know. The one I just got a job at."

"Knew someone would get hot for teacher with you."

"Can it. It's not like that. I didn't even know he went to the college. If I had known, I would have run far, far away. You can't sleep with students, Emma. I'm not looking to get blackballed from academia before I even get started."

"I saw who you were walking out with. That was definitely someone worth breaking the rules for."

"I'm serious. I didn't spend years in college, bust my ass in high school before that, all to piss it away because I want to fuck a hot douchebag."

"What'd he do to earn the title of douchebag? It's only been a day, he'd have to be incredibly busy to have cheated on you already."

"He didn't cheat on me. We have to have a relationship first before he can cheat on me."

"What, did you find out he only fucked you on a bet again?"

"No! It's not that."

"He asked you to do his homework?" She shrugged.

"It's not exactly the same, Emma. I was speaking in general, it's another jock douchebag just using me. They didn't do exactly the same things."

"So what'd that hunk of man do then?" Emma salivating over Trevor when she didn't even know him wasn't helping either.

"Well, he, um..." What did he do? He ditched me before I woke up.

Yet he had to be at the school early too. He didn't know I was a teacher. Maybe he didn't want to wake me up, letting me sleep in because he didn't know any better.

"No. I'm not making excuses for him," I said aloud.

"Making excuses for who? You still haven't told me what he did."

"It doesn't matter what he did, Emma. Look, it doesn't matter. He's my student. Like, literally my student."

"Totally hot for teacher."

"The professor assigned me to help tutor him and get his grades up to par so he can appeal to the academic board and play football again. So I'm in there, teaching him one on one."

"From what it sounds like to me, he's the one teaching you things." She did a little dance in her seat.

I just stared at her blankly. "I'm glad you're getting over your hangover enough to celebrate my misery."

She giggled and then shook her head. "I'm sorry, it's funny."

"What's funny?"

"How yesterday you went on and on about how no one's going to go hot for teacher, and here you are in exactly that situation."

"Emma, please."

"It's going to be okay. It's not like they're going to enforce that rule unless becomes a problem anyway."

"It's not going to be a problem because I'm not making the same mistake again. Why are you assuming I'm still going for this guy despite everything I've told you?"

She leaned on her chin, and took off her sunglasses. "You know what the biggest turn-off on a date is typically? Talking about your ex. You know why?"

"Because talking about failed relationships just depresses everyone?"

"I guess that's part of it, but not what I was getting at. When you talk about your ex, you're not over your ex. Your ex is still on your brain."

"This guy isn't my ex, Emma. We never really dated."

"Yet you're obsessed over him. You can't accept that it was just a one-night stand and there was nothing more to it. I don't obsess over my one-night stands like this."

"Maybe you can just divorce emotion from sex. I can't."

"You should learn that too, because from what I'm hearing, you're in for some trouble if you don't."

"How do you figure?"

"Well, you're teaching this kid one on one. When you're going to be alone with him a lot. He's still into you. You're still into him. It must have been good enough to cause problems. It's a ticking time bomb of lust if I ever saw one, and the only question is how long the fuse is."

"There is no fuse, I'm not going to give in and fuck him again. I thought you had more respect for me, Emma."

She sat there silent for a time. Another coffee slurp from her and me.

"Yeah, the louder and louder you keep protesting? The more likely I think it is. Just saying I would bring some condoms. You know. Just to be prepared."

"I'm not carrying around condoms!"

"Ooh, you like it bareback. That's kinky of you, Stephanie."

My fists were balling up. She was poking me in a very tender spot.

What didn't help? It started to dawn on me that I had forgotten to do something that I very much had told myself I would do. I'd been in such a rush this morning to get to work on time that certain precautions completely slipped my mind.

"What's wrong?" Emma said. "All the color suddenly drained from your face. You okay there, Steph?"

"Um, uh..." I picked up my coffee, and stood. "Uh, I forgot to go buy something. I should get there before they close, you know."

"Stephanie? Stop hyperventilating. You mean a pharmacy? Most of them are open twenty-four/seven nowadays?"

"I need to do it now, okay."

"Jesus. Calm down, I'll come with you." She was quick to my side, a hand over my shoulder. "You don't need to freak out like this, girl. Everything will be fine."

I let out a breath. She was right. It wasn't like I was hyper-fertile or anything where the slightest drop of sperm in my lady parts meant instantly preggo.

"Although it must have been really good for a girl like you to forgot protection."

God, it really was.

The last thing I really needed though? Getting pregnant with Trevor's child.

I tried to think of how I would explain that to Professor Hatch.

None of the scenarios in my head played out in any way that wasn't an absolute disaster.