Chapter 18
Three hours later, after they’d finally heard from Kyle and received updates on his situation that, from what she’d understood, wasn’t looking good, Charli followed Kean to his cabin. He took her hand the moment the door of his parents’ house closed behind them, and she linked her fingers through his and squeezed. Being part of their family emergency should’ve made her feel awkward, like an intruder in a private moment. Instead, she’d been glad to help when Sophie didn’t want to stop crying, or to make Enya a cup of herbal tea to help her relax after Kyle’s coach called to inform them her son was in the ER and they’d get in touch as soon as the doctors told them something.
She was happy she was there when Kyle called to share the news about his ulnar collateral ligament injury that would require surgery and eight to twelve months of rehab. Kean had looked devastated slumped on the armchair with his head in his hands.
Her heart had broken for him and she’d wanted to hug him, squeeze him tight, and promise him everything would be okay. But doing it in front of his family hadn’t seemed like a good idea, so she’d just sat there and waited for the phone call along with every member of the Cavanagh family.
“Are you okay?” Charli asked, as soon as they stepped into Kean’s cottage. It was a stupid question, really. He looked anything but okay right now, with that permanent frown that had been wrinkling his face ever since the moment Kyle fell to the ground. She followed him into the kitchen, where he pulled out a bottle of beer from the fridge.
“Want one?” he asked without turning around.
“No, thanks. You probably shouldn’t be drinking either.”
He hung his head. “Yeah, I think you’re right. Getting drunk won’t help Kyle to feel better.”
He put the bottle back into the fridge, closed it, and leaned with his forehead against the door. Charli walked up to him and put a hand on his back.
“Maybe I should go. You probably want to be alone now.”
Kean looked at her for the first time since they’d walked into the house. “Please, stay.”
His dark eyes were nearly black, and the haunted look and raw pain in them, coupled with his pleading tone, all but crushed her heart. She didn’t want to care this much for him. She wasn’t supposed to get attached or emotionally involved. She’d been the one to make the rule in the first place—it would be hypocritical if she were the one to break it. But she couldn’t help herself when those brown eyes that usually stared at her with humor and mischief now looked dull and… void.
She took a step closer and wrapped her arms around him. The warmth of his body enveloped her cold heart, and when his strong arms encircled her, the whole world seemed like a better place. She’d never felt this safe and warm in any other man’s arms—except her father’s, but he didn’t count. His hand rubbed circles on her back, the smell of his cologne filled her senses, and his steady breathing calmed her to the point she nearly fell asleep against his chest.
This felt too good, too familiar, too cozy—but she couldn’t bring herself to pull back. For the first time since they’d started sleeping together, she didn’t care about getting him naked as fast as possible. She just wanted to be there for him and do whatever she could to bring the twinkle back in his eyes. And the thought scared her.
“Do you want to talk about it? I promise I won’t tell anyone whatever you say now. I won’t tell your family that you broke down in tears, or that you punched the wall, or whatever else you want to do to let it all out. It will be just between you and me. And I won’t think any less of you for breaking down now.”
“Why, thank you for being so tactful.” He chuckled. “I’m not sure what I want to do, though. Yes, I want to punch the wall, but I’d break my hand and I wouldn’t be able to work, so no can do. And yes, I want to scream but then my family would hear me and think you’re killing me.”
Charli laughed at that. His funny side was coming back. Good. She rubbed her hand up and down his back, feeling the muscles relax under her touch.
“You won’t see me cry, though. I have my dignity after all.”
“Okay, no bawling, gotcha. But just so you know, I’m a good listener.”
He heaved a sigh and rested his chin on the top of her head. She breathed him in, felt his heartbeat against her cheek, and just wished they could stay like that forever.
“I hated watching my brother hurting and not being able to help him. He’s my baby brother. I’ve never liked seeing him in pain, and even though he’s all grown up now, I just can’t help wanting to protect him.”
“I’m the baby of the family and the little princess, so it was my brothers’ job to be über-protective, but still, I’ve never wanted to see one of them in pain, either. So I sort of understand how you feel.”
“Kyle’s a tough one, though. I’m sure he’ll be all right.”
His tone sounded more like he was trying to convince her but didn’t believe the words himself. She let him be, though, thinking he just needed time to process everything and get over the upheaval that was no doubt inside him right now.
“How about we order Mexican? You’re not in a hurry to go home, are you?”
The sudden change in topic, coupled with the weird feeling she got at hearing him referring to Ellie’s cottage as Charli’s home, threw her slightly off-balance. Wrapped up against his warm body, she wasn’t particularly looking forward to leaving; the fact he wanted her to stay, although he was feeling miserable and could have asked her to leave, made her feel all warm inside.
“Are you asking me to dinner, Bob?”
He chuckled. “I’m asking you to stay and eat dinner with me, and maybe, if you behave, I might throw in dessert.” He pulled back and smiled mischievously. “And I’m not talking about cake, just so you know.”
“Well, in that case…” She fisted the fabric of his sweatshirt and pulled him to her, brushing her lips against his. “I’m in.”
* * *
After dinner, they snuggled up on the couch, something they’d never done in the month they’d been seeing each other. They usually took a direct path from the kitchen to the bedroom—and back in the morning.
With her head on his broad chest and his arm around her shoulders, they stared in silence at the orange flames dancing in the fireplace, and nothing else seemed to matter but the two of them, their hearts beating in unison and the logs crackling. The only thing that would make it more romantic would be rain pelting on the roof. She could get used to this.
What was she doing? Why was she letting him pull her into this cozy and romantic alternate universe? And why did it feel so good when it was supposed to feel wrong?
“You know the thing my mother said, about me and jail…” He broke the silence and she was grateful for the diversion.
“You don’t have to tell me everything about your life.” She patted his chest to reassure him, but in all honesty, she didn’t want to know. She was afraid of what he might say. “It’s not like we’re a couple.”
“Right. I nearly forgot we’re only bed buddies.” He chuckled as he squeezed her a bit tighter. “But I don’t want you to think I’m an ex-con or something.”
“Oh, well. I used to think you were a serial killer anyway.”
“That didn’t seem to stop you from jumping into my bed though.” His hand moved down her back and he pinched her butt.
“It’s the thrill of danger. You know, sleeping with the bad guy and all.” She chuckled, rubbing her hand on his chest. “Go ahead now. Spill it. I promise I won’t judge.”
He didn’t speak for a minute. He didn’t even move; he just breathed evenly. Charli lifted her head from his chest to make sure he hadn’t fallen asleep.
He smiled. “I’m just trying to find the right words.”
“Just spit it out, Bob. Judgment-free zone, remember?” She waved her hand in a circle to include them both, and he smiled again. Was it weird that just a simple smile made her feel all hot and bothered? If it hadn’t been for his serious tone a moment before, and his obvious need to get it all off his chest, she would probably have ripped his clothes off.
Gee, what’s wrong with you?
This guy was pulling out a side of herself she didn’t even know she possessed.
“Okay, well… I’ll try to keep it short, then. When I graduated from architectural college in Portland, I found a job in one of the best architectural studios in the city. I spent five years there, designing rich people’s dream houses. I wasn’t particularly fond of wearing a suit and tie every day, but I needed to kick-start my career and that was the best starting point, so I sucked it up.”
The vision of Kean in that black tux on the wedding day caused her belly to flutter. He might not like suits and ties, but he definitely looked handsome when he wasn’t wearing a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt.
Even more handsome when he’s not wearing anything at all.
Huh? Okay, her mind had to get out of the gutter and stop talking to her as if she were a sex addict.
“After a couple of years, my boss realized that people liked my ideas and visions, so he let me take part in special, less residential projects. We designed hotels and office buildings, six-figure contracts that helped my boss keep up his lavish lifestyle and me pay the rent of a city center apartment.”
“So you were a city boy at some point,” Charli teased. He chuckled, and the unexpected kiss on the top of her head gave her the fuzzies.
“I played the part, but it never felt natural. I missed Spring, and I quickly realized I liked getting my hands dirty better than being stuck in an air-conditioned office all day. You may have noticed I prefer jeans and sweatshirts to suits and ties.”
“I did.” And she’d also discovered an unexpected appreciation for tool belts. She all but drooled whenever he was wearing one. She’d even been tempted to ask him to wear it in the bedroom—a tool belt and nothing else. Yet another thing she would never have imagined thinking.
“Anyway, to cut the story short, we took on a big project and my boss asked me to supervise it. I was determined to prove my worth, so that my boss as well as my girlfriend, who also happened to be my boss’s daughter, would stop saying I wasn’t ambitious enough, that I should have bigger goals and aim higher. I gave my all. But it all came crashing down on my head.”
Charli sat up to look at him. A frown wrinkled his forehead and he looked lost in the memories. Her hand went up and she cupped his scruffy cheek. His eyes met hers and he smiled.
“During an inspection, I noticed something wasn’t right. The materials that were being used weren’t the ones we’d included in our initial quote—the ones I’d asked the purchasing assistant to order. So I went to talk to my boss, and he said he’d approved the new order. Using those materials would help us save money and therefore maximize the profits.” He pulled her into him as he sat up straighter. “I told him it wasn’t safe, that the materials he’d ordered weren’t good enough for the kind of project we were working on, but he just waved me off. He said if I didn’t like the way he worked, I was free to leave. Two weeks later, one of the beams snapped in two, and a worker died.”
Charli gasped. “Oh, no.”
He closed his eyes and leaned his head on the backrest. “And since the supervisor’s name on the papers was mine, I was the one who got questioned first. The site was closed while they carried out an investigation. I was considered responsible for the accident, even though I told them the materials used weren’t the ones I’d asked to order. But I was the supervisor, so it didn’t take them long to charge me with negligent manslaughter.”
“That’s not fair! It wasn’t your fault.” Charli sat up straighter, pulling back from his hug. “Didn’t your boss tell them so?”
“My boss denied any involvement in the project and turned his back on me. He couldn’t let, in his words, ‘a small accident pull him and his company down.’ So he left me on my own.”
“What happened, then? Did they uncover the truth?”
“Scott’s an attorney so he knew a good legal office in Portland. There was a long, tough trial, and eventually I was deemed innocent, but was charged with a fine for not stopping the works when I found out it wasn’t safe. I had just barely finished paying off my college loan, so my parents paid for all the legal expenses, including the fine—which basically left them nearly broke.”
“And what about your boss?”
He smiled wryly. “He could afford the best lawyers so he managed to get away with it. He was fined, yes, but that didn’t even put a dent in his finances. I quit and came home, worked for six months with a local contractor, and when he retired, I started my company and hoped my town would support me.”
“And they did.”
He nodded. “Perks of small-town life.”
“You look after your own, I know, I know.” She rolled her eyes even as she smiled.
He hugged her and pulled her close to him again. His lips found that sensitive spot behind her ear, and she shivered.
“And deep down you love it,” he said against her neck.
Maybe she was starting to, but she wouldn’t admit it to him. She was having a better time than she’d thought she would, although it might be because of the handsome man on the couch with her.
All too soon he pulled back, and she nearly let out a whimper of disappointment. He stared at her with his soul-melting eyes, and if she hadn’t been sitting, she would have hit her butt on the floor.
“I’m the reason why my parents have to sell their house. Because I still haven’t been able to pay them back, so now they can’t afford to renovate the house—even though I told them I’ll do it for free.”
“It’s not your fault,” she said, feeling his pain as if it was her own. “They did it because they love you, because you mean more to them than a house.”
“I know but—”
“Stop the pity party.” She smiled as she put a finger to his lips. “It’s not sexy.”
He chuckled and wrapped both arms around her, hoisting her onto his lap. His lips curled in a grin.
“Is this sexy?” he asked, leaning in to kiss her neck. His lips followed a path up to her ear, and she couldn’t hold back the shiver that shook her body. Damn him.
“Uh-huh,” was all she managed to say when his lips captured her lobe.
“Good. ’Cause I’m done with the pity party now.” He pulled back and stared at her. Heat replaced the cloud of pain that had been there only minutes before, and it lit her up. His lips found hers and everything else was forgotten, as she once again lost herself in the moment. She had a feeling leaving him behind wouldn’t be as easy as she’d thought—but now wasn’t the time for thinking.