Chapter 24
Please, let it be worth it.
Charli hadn’t stopped repeating the words in her head ever since she’d boarded the plane. After spending half her life working hard to have a successful career, she’d just turned her life upside-down for a man who was dating another woman. But she had to at least try. Ever since that phone call with Ellie, three weeks ago, she hadn’t been able to stop the what-ifs in her head. Ever since she realized that she loved Kean—that she didn’t simply miss their naked times together, but that she missed him, all of him—she’d known that she’d never be happy with her job in Miami. Because she didn’t care anymore. Nothing else mattered if she couldn’t be with him.
All her life, she’d been planning her next move with extreme care, making sure her future was mapped out down to the smallest detail, and now she’d gone and made more rash decisions in three weeks than she had in thirty years.
The third plane she’d been on that day finally landed in North Bend, and she had to control her instincts before she started pushing everyone out of the way so she could reach the baggage claim faster. Once she retrieved all of her luggage, she power walked in her brand-new tennis shoes to the shuttle car she’d booked from Miami—just because her luggage made it impossible to run.
She took her first real breath of the day once she was in the backseat of the dark blue sedan and the driver pulled out of the airport. Her hands shook a little as she switched on her phone, and she smiled as she realized that for the first time in a long time she felt she was going home.
Two hours and ninety-something miles later, the driver pulled onto Ellie’s street. Her first instinct had been to go straight to Kean’s, but she wanted to look her best if she hoped to have any chance against the high-school sweetheart and perfect, small-town born-and-raised girlfriend. She wanted him to have no choice but to choose her, even though they barely knew each other. But that was why people dated, after all—to get to know each other and fall in love a bit more with every single day they spent together. Though, to be honest, Charli was already pretty much crazy about him.
When she reached her destination, the knot that had kept her stomach in a death grip all day finally loosened. The cute beach cottages with their colorful façades and the neat, tiny lawns, so unlike the cold, über-modern apartment she’d spent the last two months in, welcomed her home. She was home. The word gave her the fuzzies and made her smile like an idiot.
Sophie was sitting on the front porch of Adam’s house, brushing her doll’s hair, which looked like the Barbie Charli had bought her as a goodbye gift. Meatball was cuddled up by her side, taking a nap while she waited for her human friend to be done with dolls and play with her instead. Sophie raised her head when the car stopped in front of the house. Charli paid the driver, and he went to retrieve her luggage. When she got out and stretched her arms over her head, the little girl’s eyes widened and she dropped her Barbie, letting out an ear-piercing scream that made Meatball shoot to her paws and start barking.
Sophie and her furry friend were already charging toward her as she met them halfway across the lawn with open arms. Charli crouched and braced herself for impact as Sophie quite literally flung herself at her. Her tiny arms went around Charli’s neck, and she squealed in Charli’s ear.
“You’re home!” Her voice was both excited and close to tears, and Charli’s heart squeezed at the memory of the day she’d told her she was leaving Spring.
“Yes, I’m home.” And holy guacamole, did it feel good to say it out loud.
Quick footsteps approached and another squeal filled the quiet afternoon, as the car left.
“Oh my God. Charli!”
Ellie walked slowly toward them, her round belly double the size it had been the last time they’d been in this same spot saying their goodbyes.
“Surprise?” Charli put on a silly smile and inspected Ellie for a reaction she hoped would be positive.
“Auntie Charli is home, Mommy. She comed back.”
Charli squeezed the little girl tighter to her chest and used her free hand to pat Meatball’s head and scratch behind her ear. The dog wagged her furry tail frantically and let out a happy bark. She had grown into an adult dog, but Charli wasn’t scared in the least. She stood up, taking Sophie with her, seeing as she was wrapped around her body like a little monkey.
“You’re big,” she said, looking at Ellie with a teasing smile. “Did you check there aren’t three more kids in there?”
Ellie chuckled. “You don’t tell a pregnant woman she’s big, if you don’t want to suffer the consequences,” she said, glaring at Charli even as she stepped closer and opened her arms. “But I’m so happy you’re here, I’ll forgive you. Just this once.”
She reached for Charli, but between Sophie wrapped around her, and Ellie’s belly, they barely managed an awkward one-armed hug. They laughed, Sophie giggled, and Meatball barked—and suddenly it felt as if all the pieces had finally fallen into place. Well, all but one.
“I need to see Kean.” Just like she needed her next breath. “But I thought I’d drop my luggage and take a shower first, if I could take advantage of your cottage? I’ve come down straight from the airport and I don’t want to show up on his doorstep with ruffled hair and wrinkled clothes. Because, I’ve gotta tell you, I’m determined to win him back, no matter what it takes.”
Ellie looked away, rubbing the lower side of her belly. Something inside Charli’s chest broke—quite possibly her heart.
“He’s not already married, is he? I mean, seriously, I’ve only been gone two months, he can’t have been that fast.” She put Sophie back on the ground, and the little girl took her hand, probably still afraid Charli would spin on her heels and leave.
“No. But he’s not in Spring anymore.”
Wait, what?
Ellie hadn’t mentioned anything about Kean leaving town in their recent conversations. As a matter of fact, she hadn’t said a word about him, probably because she knew Charli didn’t want to hear about him. But still…
“And wherever else could he be? He said he’d never leave his town, that he wanted to raise his kids here…”
It felt like a bad joke. They’d fought because she didn’t want to stay and he didn’t want to leave, and now that she was back to stay, he wasn’t here.
“Come inside, let’s have a cup of tea and I’ll update you.”
Charli shook her head. “No. Just tell me where he is and I’ll drive straight to him. I’m not going to waste another minute. I have to see him, I need to talk to him. I need him to forgive me and take me back—”
“Charli, you should rest a bit. You can call him and—”
“No. I have to see him and talk to him in person. A phone call wouldn’t make him see how miserable I’ve been without him.”
There, she’d said it. It was time she told someone else beside her reflection in the mirror. Ellie’s lips curled in a knowing smile, but Charli didn’t feel ashamed to admit her feelings anymore.
“Seems like someone is in looove,” Ellie sing-songed, bringing her hand to her heart. “Gosh, I never thought I’d live to see the day tough, no-nonsense Charlotte Wingate would fall head over heels in love with someone. Guess this town really works miracles.”
Charli laughed and decided to let her friend have the last word. After all, she was right.
“He’s in Portland. You can’t drive three hundred miles now. It’ll be night by the time you get there.”
“I don’t care. I have to—”
“Yes, I know. You have to see him. You said that already.” Ellie squeezed her arm and smiled. “But it won’t make a difference if you drive up tomorrow. We could even ask Adam whether there’s a bus or a train line so you don’t have to drive.”
“You can’t go away again, Auntie Charli. You’ve just arrived!” Sophie tugged on her hand and looked up at her with a pout. “Please, don’t go away again.”
Aww, how could she go now when the little girl looked at her with a trembling lip and round, blue eyes glistening with tears ready to spill? If she made her cry again, Adam would kill her this time.
“Okay, I guess I can stay tonight and I can drive to see Uncle Kean tomorrow.”
Sophie jumped up and down, holding on to her hand and making her laugh. Ellie smiled and mouthed a “Thank you” when their eyes met. Her friend was right—a few more hours wouldn’t make a difference, and if she got behind the wheel now, she would probably end up falling asleep halfway to her destination and crashing the car. Dying on a solitary road wasn’t exactly the ending she’d envisioned for her fairy tale. No, after all she’d done in these three weeks, the things she’d planned, and the money she’d spent to make sure her dream would come true, she couldn’t risk it all. She wanted her happy ending to include Kean, his arms around her, and his lips glued to hers. Nothing else mattered.
* * *
After a restless sleep in which she went through all the possible outcomes of her surprise visit—most of them including Kean telling her he couldn’t forgive her and that he was going to marry his girlfriend—Charli got behind the wheel of her Beetle. She was glad she’d left it in Ellie’s care instead of selling it, when she thought she wasn’t ever coming back.
She’d gotten on the road shortly after seven—after listening to a hundred thousand recommendations from Ellie and a mere “Good luck” from Adam. He hadn’t exactly welcomed her with open arms when he’d come home from work and found her in his living room, with Sophie braiding her hair. But when she explained what she’d done in hopes of winning back his brother, his tough cop stance had softened a little. He’d even offered advice on what buttons she should push to make his brother cave.
Now, as she was nearing her destination—Kean’s office—all the perfect speeches she’d been repeating in her mind ever since she left Miami suddenly vanished, as panic kicked in. What if she was too late?
She parked her car in front of the tall, glass and iron building, and took a fortifying breath as she stepped into the elegant lobby. She walked up to the reception, left her details and picked up her ‘Visitor’ pass, walking on shaky legs toward the elevator.
Five minutes later she was back at the reception desk, her stomach churning in disappointment as she gave the pass back to the young, blonde woman in a dark suit. Apparently, luck wasn’t on her side today. Kean had gone out to meet with a client, but at least the middle-aged receptionist on the fourteenth floor had been kind enough to let her know he usually had lunch at a sandwich bar around the corner.
As Charli rounded the corner of the street, her eyes were drawn to the tall, dark, and heart-stoppingly handsome man in a dark suit who stood on the opposite side of the road. Her heart took up an erratic beat, as if a tap dancer had started a routine inside her chest. Once she’d thoroughly drunk in every small detail that she’d missed so much over these last two months, her brain registered the female presence next to him—a stunning, elegantly dressed blonde who had her left hand on his bicep, in a very familiar and intimate way. A left hand that sported a sparkling diamond on the fourth finger.
No.
No, no, no, no.
“No!” Her loud, pained shout drew everyone’s attention to her, including that of Kean and his fiancée.
“Charli?” He frowned as he moved away from the woman and toward her. Charli took off, thanks to her very comfortable sneakers, and crossed the road, realizing only when car horns reached her ears that she hadn’t even looked before stepping off the sidewalk. Kean reached her and pulled her off the road just before a car shrieked to a halt mere inches from her.
“Are you trying to get yourself killed?” he asked, his tone curt. He let go of her arm and took a step back.
“You can’t marry her. Not until I’ve told you everything I’ve come here for.”
His eyes widened. “Charli—”
“No. Please, hear me out. I promise that if you still want to go ahead after I’m finished, I’ll take a step back and let you be with her.” She stared up into those chocolate-brown eyes she loved, and the words tumbled out without her needing to think them. “I’m sorry for walking out on you, for what I said the last time we saw each other. I made a mistake, a ginormous, stupid mistake I will regret until the day I die. I thought my career was all that mattered, I thought I was following my dream, but I realized I was running away from the things that really mattered.”
“Really.” The plain expression on his face gave nothing away. Was he mad? Dubious? Annoyed? She had no idea, and he didn’t look like he wanted to add anything, so she just went on with her well-rehearsed speech, staring at her feet.
“I was living the life I thought I wanted, in a city I thought I liked, and I realized it wasn’t what I wanted anymore. I felt lonely and miserable, even though I was surrounded by thousands of people. I hated being a face in the crowd. And I hated waking up alone in a cold, empty bed in an ultra-modern apartment that didn’t feel like home.”
She dared to look up at him again and immediately wished she hadn’t. His lips were in a straight line, his brows furrowed, and he still wasn’t giving away any hint of his feelings. Okay, maybe she’d overestimated the power of her speech, or his feelings for her. In her silly head, she’d imagined that by this point he would’ve taken her into his arms, told her how much he’d missed her too, and kissed her senseless.
“It was your decision, after all. What you wanted above anything else.” His tone was somber, and it cut right through her. She’d imagined he might be a little mad at her, but she’d hoped her words would be enough for him to forgive her. No such luck.
“I was wrong. I…” She swallowed the lump of pride in her throat. “I realized what I really want is to live in a town where I can’t go anywhere without everyone knowing, where the old man at the grocery store knows my favorite brand of wine and sets a couple of bottles aside for me when a new stock comes in; a place where I don’t need to order my coffee because the ladies behind the counter already know my favorite hot drink and already have my favorite chocolate muffin on a plate waiting for me.” She stared at him, and was it wishful thinking or did his eyes look warmer now? “I want to spend Saturday nights in a quaint pub listening to a rock band playing oldies, and fantasizing over the handsome guitarist. Go home with him after the show and wake up in his bed, tangled in his sheets and in his body. And fight, and then make up, and eat pancakes and… and…”
A smile tugged at his lips but he didn’t speak. She felt stupid. She was putting her heart on the line and she wasn’t even sure he cared at this point. After all, he had every right to tell her to go take a hike after the way she’d behaved the last time she saw him. But she didn’t want to give up just yet.
“I missed everything about the town, the people, the slow pace of life. But most of all…” She took a fortifying breath and reached for his hand. “I missed you. Everything about you. And the way I felt when I was with you. Because… you made me feel things I’d never felt before. You made me long for things I never knew I wanted. You made me feel like anything was possible. I had it all in Miami, but nothing made sense without you.”
“You chose your job over me, over us,” he said, his tone flat and emotionless. Ooh-kay. He was a tougher nut to crack than she’d expected. And she’d run out of ways to make him understand she was sorry—apart from falling at his feet and begging for forgiveness, she had no other idea. “You used me for sex just because you were bored, but you didn’t think twice about packing up and leaving as soon as the opportunity arose. Do you know how that made me feel?”
Now, wait a minute…
“I didn’t use you. You knew from the very first time we slept together that I wasn’t going to stay, that it wouldn’t be a relationship. Don’t you go blaming me now!” She crossed her arms as anger mixed with disappointment rushed through her. Things weren’t going the way she’d hoped.
“It wasn’t just physical for me, Charli. It was more. It always meant more but I played along because I hoped at some point you’d realize your feelings went beyond sex.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “But you walked away without looking back. What was I supposed to do, wait until you changed your mind?”
“Well… no, but…” Okay, maybe he had a point, but he could cut her some slack, meet her halfway now that she was all but begging for forgiveness.
He cocked his head to the side. “But?”
They stared at each other. His dark eyes bore into her, scorching her. She wasn’t sure whether the heat she was feeling was caused by the run or rather by his intense gaze.
Movement behind him caught her attention. She’d completely forgotten there was another person, his fiancée, who was now approaching them. And who must think Charli was a nutcase. Anger flared to life as her eyes settled on the elegant blonde.
“But it didn’t give you the right to get engaged two months after I left.”
Kean frowned. “Engaged?”
“Well, duh. It’s impossible not to be blinded by the sun reflecting off that rock,” she said, pointing at the woman who now stood next to him. “Congratulations. I suppose my leaving town helped you reunite with the woman of your dreams. I just can’t compete with your high-school sweetheart.”
Kean laughed. Loudly. The blonde chuckled and shook her head, lifting her left hand to her face. “Yes, I’m engaged. But not to him.”
Charli frowned. Huh?
“Vanessa and I used to date when I lived in Portland and worked for her father, before she chose her job over me.” He winked at her and the blonde chuckled again, smacking his arm lightly. Although he’d used the past tense, Charli hated the familiarity they obviously shared even after however many years.
“I’m back in town to take care of some wedding-related stuff and we bumped into each other just a few minutes before you showed up.”
Heat flushed Charli’s cheeks. “Oh my God. You must’ve thought I was some crazy woman.”
Vanessa chuckled, shaking her head. “No, I was the crazy one letting this guy go.” Kean smiled, and she stared at him with something that looked like longing and regret in her eyes. “But I found a wonderful man I can’t wait to marry, and I would act the same way if someone tried to steal him from me.”
Charli looked at Kean. He had his head cocked to the side and his eyes lit with amusement as a corner of his lips tilted up in the lopsided, annoying grin that used to drive her crazy but that she’d missed so damn much.
“So… you’re not getting married?” Okay, that was a stupid question. They’d already established that the woman with a ring on her finger wasn’t his fiancée.
“No, I’m not getting married, either to Vanessa or to Paige, who’s the high-school sweetheart you were referring to, by the way. When you left, I just wanted to move on and forget you’d ever been in my life. And when Paige came back to Spring, I thought we could pick up from where we left off. But I couldn’t stop comparing her to you, and I couldn’t help thinking that, as much as I’d loved her, or thought I did back in high school, she was nothing but a good friend now.”
The boulder sitting on her heart lifted a little. Maybe there was still a chance for them, after all.
“My heart belongs to you now, and even though I knew you’d never come back, I couldn’t bring myself to love someone else.” He took both her hands and pulled her closer to him. His eyes never left hers, as if the rest of the world didn’t exist. “Yes, you drive me crazy, and you’re annoying as hell, and you’re stubborn and always want to have it your way and have the last word, just for the sake of pissing me off.” She chuckled and he squeezed her hands. “But I loved every single minute we spent together, down to the most stupid argument we had, because I loved being with you, Charli. Even though I’m afraid I’ll end up in a madhouse, I love you.”
Her heart swelled so much it took up all the space in her chest. “You love me.”
His face cracked in a smile. “I do.”
A choir of angels sang hallelujah all around them—or maybe just in her head, she wasn’t sure. But frankly, she didn’t care.
“I love you, too.” The words had never felt more true or right. She was just about to stand on her tiptoes and kiss him until she’d need to be revived by paramedics, when the sound of throat clearing reminded her they were on a busy street—and not alone on a pink, fluffy cloud.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, but I have to get going.” Vanessa stepped forward and put her hand on Kean’s forearm. Again. But he’d just said he loved her, so who cared if his ex was the touchy-feely kind. He loved Charli, not Vanessa. “It was nice seeing you again, Kean. And to meet you, Charli. Don’t let him go. He’s one of the few good guys left.”
“Trust me, I’m never going to let him go again.” She linked her arm through his to prove her point, and he chuckled. After one last goodbye, Vanessa left them alone—as much as being on a street allowed.
“So, where were we?” He grinned as his free arm snaked around her waist. He pulled her to him and her hands went up to lock behind his neck. Boy, she’d missed being so close to him.
“I think you were just about to kiss me,” she said, smirking at him.
“Mmh… I don’t know… I think I need to know how long you’re planning on staying, before I can decide whether I want to kiss you again.”
Although his tone was playful, it did carry a hint of suspicion. She couldn’t blame him though. She’d spent weeks making it clear that she wasn’t a small-town girl and had no intention of ever living in Spring. It would take a lot of convincing to make him understand the months away from him had changed her.
“I think we should probably make things clear, before we start talking about the future.” She pulled back just a little, so that she could stare into his soulful dark eyes. “If we’re going to explore this thing between us, to see if there’s any future for us at all, I think we should take it slow. No rushing into wedding plans, kids, dogs and all those things you’re most likely already planning in your family-oriented mind.” He chuckled but didn’t object. “I will probably feel the need to escape every now and then, and visit my parents in the city. And you’ll have to accept that. You’re welcome to go with me, of course, but I won’t let you keep me hostage in Spring.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to never see your family again. Who do you think I am? Some wicked monster?”
She shrugged. “I just thought I’d better be upfront.”
“Okay, so, I can’t ask you to marry me yet and I can’t lock you in the house to make sure you don’t run away. Any other conditions?”
“None that I can think of right now, but I reserve the right to add more later as they come to mind.”
He chuckled. “Good to know you haven’t changed in these two months. You’re still a sexy pain in the butt.”
“And you love me for that.”
“I do.” He nodded, and his lips curled up as his dark eyes filled with mischief. “And I think we should carry on this conversation somewhere more private where I won’t have to worry about people staring at us or eavesdropping.”
“I think that’s a great idea, Bob. My car is parked over there.”
She handed her key ring to him and as they walked toward her car, with his hand on the small of her back, she was giddy with excitement. As soon as they were in the car, he reached for her hand, and as they cruised across town holding hands like teenagers in love, she couldn’t wait for the moment his lips would be on hers again.