Chapter 20
She had a job. Her dream job. She still couldn’t believe it had been so easy. She’d expected they would take their time and call her in a few days, but when she received the call two hours after her interview, she didn’t know what to say. The first thing she’d wanted to do, after getting The Call, had been to share the news with Kean. The thought had shocked her and created a flurry of questions, doubts, and a lot of second-guessing her decisions, especially those that involved the handsome contractor.
She should’ve wanted to call her best friend or her family, but the first person she’d wanted to share the excitement with was the one she shouldn’t have developed any attachment to.
It was crazy. Most especially now that she was going to be living thousands of miles away from him. She’d only meant to let loose, to feel wanted—she’d never planned for feelings to be involved.
Feelings?
What the heck was she talking about? Of course she didn’t have feelings for him.
She kept repeating the mantra in her head while she drove from North Bend airport down to Spring Harbor, as if she needed to convince herself. She’d thought she’d done a good job, until she found herself pulling into the Cavanaghs’ drive and taking the gravel path that led to Kean’s house. She shook her head as she stopped in front of the cute log cottage.
“You’re such a mess,” she told her reflection in the rearview mirror. “But one last time won’t kill us.”
At least she hoped it wouldn’t.
She got out of the car, stretched her arms over her head and took a fortifying breath before walking up to the door and knocking.
“Hey, you’re still alive!” His grin stole her breath away and made her question all of her decisions. Was a successful career really what she wanted? Was it worth leaving this man?
Of course it is, you silly.
He reached out his arms and pulled her in for a toe-curling kiss that wiped all thoughts from her brain—except how much she’d missed his kiss and his strong body against hers. One more night. One last time. It would be enough. Or maybe not.
His lips didn’t leave hers when he pulled her into the house, nor when he closed the door and gently pushed her against it.
Um, wow.
Apparently, she wasn’t the only one who’d missed their kisses. Not that she minded, though. She hated to admit it but she’d missed him, all of him—his lips, his hands, his smile, his eyes, his curls, his strong body, the smell of his body wash, his annoying sense of humor, and even his morning-after pancakes he never failed to make for her when she stayed the night.
You can’t afford this right now, sister.
He pulled back before she could tell her mind to go take a hike while she enjoyed a bit more of this handsome specimen, and she had to swallow a disappointed groan that nearly escaped her mouth.
“Hi,” he said, chuckling as he rested his forehead against hers. It was such an intimate gesture it made her heart soar and plummet at the same time. This wasn’t supposed to get cozy and familiar. This was just supposed to be physical. No sweet kisses and cuddles. Just raw instincts and passion. Or that had been what she’d been telling herself while her heart went its own way and made its own decisions.
“Um, hi yourself. I definitely wasn’t expecting this kind of welcome.”
“Sorry, I got carried away.” He shrugged and moved back to put more distance between them. His hand reached for hers and squeezed. “I’ve been worried, since you didn’t call or text while you were in Los Angeles.”
She’d texted him just before boarding the plane, and then again when she landed, just to let him know she was safe. Truth be told, she hadn’t called him because she had no idea how to break the news to him. She wanted to see his face, gauge his reaction to understand whether their time together had meant something, anything at all. She wasn’t exactly into long-distance relationships, but he might be interested in leaving this rainy and cold town to move to a sunny and vibrant city instead. Who knew? Maybe their… thing, whatever it was, was more than just physical attraction.
“So? How did it go? Are you going to tell me?” He squeezed her hand and stared at her with a mix of worry and expectation in his dark eyes. She inhaled deeply.
“I’ve got a job.”
She couldn’t help the squeal of excitement that left her lips. She was ecstatic about the career prospects that awaited her in her new job, and about finally having control of her life again.
“Wow, congratulations!” he said, although his smile didn’t reach his eyes. “I, uh… I was just about to order takeout. Why don’t you stay and tell me all about it over dinner?”
His tone seemed off, as if he didn’t really want her to stay but was too polite to ask her to leave. Okay, he probably wasn’t as excited about her job as she was. Why would he be anyway?
“Are you sure you want me to stay? I can come back tomorrow, if you have plans.”
He frowned. “Didn’t I just invite you to stay?”
“I thought you didn’t want me around. You didn’t sound like you wanted me to stay.”
“Of course I do.” He leaned closer and kissed her briefly. It was nothing like the kiss he’d given her before. A funny feeling, something resembling dread, filled her.
He walked into the kitchen and she followed, suddenly not so sure she should’ve stayed.
“So, um… what’s the job going to be like?” He asked it like he was asking her what topping she wanted on her pizza.
Perhaps if she showed how excited she was, it might rub off on him, too. She didn’t know why, but she really needed him to be happy for her.
“It’s my dream job, even better than the position Lousy Pig stole from me, because this is the biggest event company in the whole country,” she said as her smile widened. His lips curled ever so slightly. Well, it was something. “After a brief period of working side by side with the manager, I’ll be in full charge of the Miami office. It’s their biggest office on the East Coast—after New York, of course, and—”
“Miami?” Kean cut her off. “As in, Florida? It’s… it’s on the East Coast.” His tone sounded like that of a kid who’d just lost his favorite toy. The analogy wasn’t lost on her. Their thing couldn’t be more than a game for him.
Charli chuckled. “Duh. Unless they moved it overnight, yes, it’s on the East Coast.”
“And where does this leave us?”
Us. Two letters were enough to make her heart stop. Us. Did he really think about whatever they had going on as us? The thought scared her as much as it thrilled her. Fear got the better of her, though.
“There was never an us, Kean.” The words were out of her mouth before she could take them back. It was as if something inside of her had commanded her brain to say those words, even though she hadn’t meant to, even though she wasn’t sure she really believed them.
She saw the moment the words hit home. He recoiled, as if she’d just poked him with a hot coal poker. He couldn’t really feel something for her that went beyond physical attraction, could he? She didn’t mean to hurt him, but she’d thought they were on the same page about their relationship, which wasn’t a relationship—and why was she even thinking about it as a relationship now?
“So, are you telling me that you don’t care about going away and moving to the other side of the country and never seeing me again?” His tone was a mixture of hurt, annoyance, and coldness. She couldn’t really tell which emotion prevailed but she didn’t like that tone. He’d never used it before, not even when they couldn’t stop arguing and fighting whenever they were in the same room. It hurt. And she didn’t want it to hurt, because she didn’t want to care.
“This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, Kean. I’ve waited years for this chance. I worked hard and now that my dream job is within my grasp I won’t let anything stand in the way.”
“Or anyone, right?”
Something cold ran through her veins as if her blood had suddenly turned to ice, and it was freezing up her arteries until it reached her heart and squeezed it in a painful grip. What was happening? And why now? She’d already lost her chance once, thanks to Lousy Pig—she wasn’t going to let anything, or anyone, like he said, take it away this time. It could be her last chance. You couldn’t be this lucky twice in your life.
“This is important for me. It’s the boost in my career I’ve been waiting for. Don’t you get it?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “I don’t make my job and my career my priority. My family is. The people I love have always come first, and they always will. As long as I have a job that helps me provide for the people I love, I don’t care about having a successful career. But it seems we’re not on the same page.”
“I thought we’d agreed that this was only temporary, and it was purely physical. We acted on the chemistry between us, on a physical attraction. There were no feelings involved.”
“There weren’t supposed to be any feelings involved,” he corrected her. Once again his words made her heart stop. What was going on? Was she just about to have a heart attack, perhaps? Was that the reason why her heart kept skipping a beat when he spoke? And why did it hurt so bad, as if someone was stomping on it with high heels? No, she didn’t have feelings for him. The only thing she felt when she was with him was a crazy animal magnetism, just a chemical reaction of two bodies, nothing more. There were no feelings involved.
“Are you saying that you have feelings for me? That it wasn’t just sex for you?”
“Would it make a difference if I said it? Would you stay?”
She shuddered, although she hadn’t meant to. She didn’t even realize her body was shaking until she brought her hands up in front of her. He couldn’t mean it, could he?
“Just like I thought.” He hung his head and took a step back. “You finally got what you wanted so you didn’t think twice about accepting the position.”
She let out an annoyed huff. Why should she care what he thought? “No, I didn’t. Because this is what I wanted and we agreed this was only temporary. You knew it all along. I could never live here, you know I’m not a small-town girl.”
He rolled his eyes. “You say it like living in a small town is something hideous.”
“I’m not saying that! I’m just saying that it’s not who I am. It was fun while it lasted but my goals are different from yours. You want a family, you’re happy with your small-town life and with your job that isn’t going anywhere. I want more.”
“So you think I’m a failure because I don’t have a fancy job and I don’t wear a suit and a tie all day? That I’m wasting my life living here?” he asked, glaring at her.
She groaned and threw her hands in the air. She wanted to punch something. Or someone. She should probably punch him, just to get it all out. “I’m just saying that you’re happy with your life. You don’t have any bigger goals. I do and I want to pursue my dreams. I don’t want to give them up for something that could be nothing more than just sex. Crazy good sex, but still, just sex.”
He looked away, and the way his shoulders drooped and the corners of his mouth turned down ever so slightly caused something to shift inside her. Was it more for him? Had she misunderstood his intentions? Oh gosh, he hadn’t fallen in love with her, had he? Because no way was she going to give up her precious job for a man. She didn’t want to break his heart either, though. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. This was going to be a real problem. Ellie was going to kill her.
“Well, whatever. I’m happy for you. I hope you find what you’re looking for in Miami. Have fun.”
“So, this is it? Are you kicking me out?”
He let out a wry laugh. “What, were you hoping for one last hookup before you left? Sorry, I’m not in the mood.”
The words were like daggers as they left his mouth with a coldness she’d never heard in his tone. They made her feel dirty and like… a slut. And she wasn’t one, for heaven’s sake! She’d always had principles when it came to men, and jumping with both feet into this thing with Kean had been totally unlike her. But she’d been feeling down, lonely, vulnerable back then, and she hadn’t been able to deny the attraction she felt for him. Maybe she’d been weak, over and over, but she’d thought he’d been right there with her. She hadn’t expected him to make her feel like… a prostitute.
“I think we’re done here.” She spun on her heels and yanked the door open. No matter how good their time together had been, he had no right to make her feel like that. To make her feel guilty, to spoil her excitement about getting the job.
Stupid… hick.
She kicked the gravel as soon as her feet got off the last step, feeling like screaming so loud they’d hear her in Portland. Her high-heeled pump slipped off her foot and sailed toward her car, the heel hitting the side of the trunk just above the wheel. Obviously. She groaned as she hopped to her Beetle, and bent to pick up her shoe, but then lost her balance and her bare foot landed on the gravel, on what she was sure was the most pointed pebble in the whole yard. Pain shot up her foot and she bit her lip to keep from screaming—or cursing. Tears filled her eyes, more from the anger and frustration coursing through her than from the actual pain. She blinked, determined to pull herself together. She finally picked up her shoe and checked the side of the car where, sure enough, a nice chip smirked at her from the silver metallic paint.
Just great. Now all she needed was a seagull flying by to poop on her head and she could officially dub this the worst day ever.
* * *
“Auntie Charli! You’re back!”
Sophie dropped her dolls on the grass and came barreling toward her as soon as she parked the car in Ellie’s driveway. Meatball let out an excited bark and followed her human friend toward Charli. She smiled. Only two months ago, she would’ve let out a scream and jumped on the trunk of her car to save herself, both from the dog and the kid. Now she crouched and braced herself for impact when Sophie threw her arms around her. She picked her up and hugged her, as Meatball sat on her haunches and lifted her front paws, waiting for a pat on her head, which Charli didn’t fail to deliver.
“I’m so happy you’re back. I’ve missed you, Auntie Charli.”
Charli had missed her too. The thought scared her, but not as much as it would have before she came to Spring. Ha. Listen to her—now she was calling it Spring just like all the residents.
“Can I bwaid your hair tonight?”
Charli smiled at the eagerness in the little girl’s voice. She was an adorable kid. And here she was, putting adorable and kid in the same sentence. She cringed. This town had changed her, but it wasn’t such a bad thing, after all.
“I’d love for you to braid my hair. It’s been so messy these days I’ve been away.”
Sophie giggled, and pulled a strand of her hair, staring at it as if she were a hairdresser. “I think I can fix it. It’s not that bad.”
“Let me guess, she offered to braid your hair.” Ellie walked out, smiling. “She couldn’t wait for you to get back. She missed her favorite client at the salon.”
“I braided Elsa’s hair, but it wasn’t as fun. When I gwow up I want my hair to be as beautiful as yours, Auntie Charli.”
Ellie laughed and stepped closer, patting Meatball’s head. The dog thumped her tail contentedly and looked up at Charli, hoping for more cuddles. She’d already made huge progress being around the dog without climbing onto chairs whenever she trotted alongside Sophie, but she wasn’t ready for cuddles yet.
“How did the interviews go? Was it worth the trip?” Ellie asked, placing her hands on her belly even though it didn’t show yet. It was cute.
“I got a job. The job, with a capital J. It’s going to be a managing position in the most prestigious event company. It’s Penelope’s biggest competitor.” She grinned as she put Sophie back on the ground. The more she said it, the prouder she felt. “They’ve organized some of the most important events in Miami and all of Florida.”
“Wait, Florida?” Ellie’s eyes widened in horror. “But it’s on the East Coast!”
Charli rolled her eyes. “What’s wrong with you all? Yes, it’s on the East Coast. It’s always been there as far as I know.”
“But… but…” Ellie’s brows pulled together. “How are you and Kean—”
“There’s no me and Kean. This is the best opportunity of my life and I’m taking it.” Something akin to guilt gnawed at her insides as she said the words, but she blamed it on Ellie’s sad frown. “You know me and small towns don’t get on well. You knew I wasn’t going to stay indefinitely, or settle down here. My career is important.”
“More important than your friends? More important than Kean?” Ellie glared at her. In the ten years they’d been friends she had never seen Ellie glare, and most definitely not at her. “I asked you not to hurt him. I know you always liked cities best, but I figured now that you and Kean were together you’d be happy to stay, settle down in Spring, watch my baby grow…” Her voice cracked as her eyes veiled with tears.
Hurting her friend was the last thing Charli wanted, but she had to understand that playing the pity card wouldn’t work.
“First of all, Kean and I aren’t together. We had a fling and he was happy to play along. And just because you’re living your fairy tale and are satisfied with playing happy family, you know that’s not what I want. I don’t want kids, and I don’t care about playing the good housewife for my husband. That works for you, but it could never work for me.”
Ellie’s brow crinkled as her frown deepened even more. “It’s time you stopped trying to prove your grandmother wrong, Charli; she won’t change her beliefs just because you have a good job. All this nonsense will ruin your life eventually, when you end up alone and miserable. Can’t you see? You’re throwing it all away just to spite your grandmother.”
“That ring on your finger didn’t turn you into a counselor—or into my mother. I’m old enough to know what I want, and this”—she waved her hand in the air to include the house and Ellie’s new life in general—“is not it. I don’t need a man, and I don’t need Kean. I’m going to Miami, and I’m going to pursue the successful career I’ve been dreaming of. I’m leaving next week, and nobody’s going to change my mind.”
Sophie wrapped her arms around Ellie’s leg and looked up at her, probably sensing something was wrong. Charli had completely forgotten about the little girl. She shouldn’t have raised her voice in front of her, but Ellie’s words had hit a nerve and she hadn’t been able to help herself.
“But you can’t go away again, Auntie Charli. You’ve just come home!” Sophie’s bottom lip trembled as she looked up at her with teary eyes.
Great. Apparently, today she was the wicked witch and whatever she said or did, she ended up hurting someone. But why should she care? She was leaving soon and, if things turned out the way she hoped they would, she wouldn’t be coming back—and if she ever did, it would only be for a brief visit.
“Sweetie, Auntie Charli has to go away because her job is in another city.” Ellie patted Sophie’s head and smiled reassuringly at her. The little girl shook her head, in the stubborn way Charli had come to learn was a distinctive trait.
“I don’t want her to go away. I want her to stay wif us!”
“I’ll come back to visit soon,” Charli said, reaching out to stroke Sophie’s curls. Ellie quirked an eyebrow, showing she didn’t trust her to keep her promise. “I have to work to get the money I need to buy food, clothes, and a house where I can live. Your daddy has to go to work, and so does your mommy. And your uncle Kean, and your grandma and grandpa. You have to work when you’re a grown-up, you see?”
“You already have a house, and Mommy can cook for you. You don’t have to leave…” Her voice cracked, and her bottom lip trembled as the first tears streaked her cheeks. “I want you to stay!”
She launched herself at Charli, who stumbled, taken by surprise. She crouched to be level with Sophie, and the little girl wrapped her arms around her neck, holding on tight and making Charli’s heart squeeze painfully. Of all the people she’d never want to hurt, this little girl was at the top of the list. When the sobs started, Charli wished she had a time machine to go back to the start of this day and do things over. The wails that followed made her wish she’d never stayed this long. She should’ve left immediately after the wedding, so she wouldn’t have gotten attached to the girl, ended up in bed with her uncle, and eventually become an honorary member of the Cavanagh family even though she never asked for it.
To make matters worse, Adam’s car came up behind them. A second later a door slammed, and footsteps approached.
“Hey, what’s wrong? Is she hurt?”
Great. He was going to have Charli’s head for making his precious daughter cry. As soon as she heard his voice, Sophie unwrapped her arms from around Charli’s neck and threw them around her father’s. He picked her up and held her close to his chest.
“What happened, baby girl? Who made you cry?”
“Auntie Charli,” she said, between sobs and high-pitched wails. Adam frowned, looking at Ellie for confirmation, then down at Charli, who was still crouched on the ground wishing really hard for a big hole to crack open right beneath her.
“It’s… um… it was a misunderstanding,” she said, her voice trembling a little. She looked up at Ellie for help, but her friend turned away, clearly telling her she was on her own. Fine, she could do this. She stood up, smoothed her pants just to buy time, and looked straight at Adam. “I’ve gotten a job and I need to move to another state. Sophie didn’t take it well.”
“I don’t. Want her. To leave,” Sophie said, with her face buried against her father’s neck.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt her, but this job is a great opportunity. I couldn’t let it go.”
Adam cradled his daughter against him, his hand rubbing her back as he stared at Charli with a frown. “Where are you going?”
“Miami.”
His eyes bulged and his jaw dropped. “What? You’re moving to Florida?”
Okay, he wasn’t going to be on Team Charli either. “Yes. I know it’s on the other side of the country, but it’s the job of my dreams, and I couldn’t let this opportunity pass me by.”
“I thought your dream job was to open an inn.” His tone was flat and very matter-of-fact. And utterly annoying. Who did they think they were? And why did married people always think they knew best?
“It was. When I was a child.”
“And what about Kean?”
Oh, no. He was going to play the you-hurt-my-brother card now. She didn’t have enough energy left in her to endure another discussion.
“He’s fine, don’t worry. He’s not likely to kill himself when I leave.”
Adam glared. Oops, maybe he hadn’t caught the attempted humor in her tone.
“I’m going to take Sophie inside, honey,” he said, looking at Ellie. Then he turned to Charli. “I hope you find what you’re looking for in Miami.” His tone was cold and it left a sour taste in her mouth. He wasn’t the only one who’d said that today. What was she hoping to find in Miami? The question hit the back of her mind, making her wonder if what she was doing was the right thing. If it was really what she wanted.
Adam walked into the cottage, holding a sobbing Sophie in his arms and whispering reassuring words. Meatball trotted close to his leg, with her head down. Her tail, which always wagged excitedly, was now hanging down like she knew something was wrong with her human friends. Charli felt like the worst killjoy ever. And the meanest, too.
Ellie waited until Adam and Sophie were inside, then she focused her attention on Charli. The accusation in her eyes said everything she was too kind to say out loud.
“So… I have to get dinner started. Um… would you like to join us?” Her tone said she was clearly hoping Charli wouldn’t accept the invitation. Charli couldn’t blame her, though.
“Thanks, but I have a few things I need to figure out, and I should book my flights and start packing. I wanted to go to Texas before moving to Miami. I won’t be needing my car, so would it be okay if I left it here? You could probably use a proper means of transportation instead of your bike.”
Ellie smiled. “Let’s make a deal. I’ll car-sit for you, so when you come back you can use it.”
When you come back. Did she really think that Charli would be coming back? She doubted she would. If she knew the job well, she wouldn’t have much free time for vacations, and when she did, perhaps over the holidays, she’d be going home to her family. As much as she loved Ellie, she couldn’t come back and risk running into Kean with a woman hanging off his arm. Not that she should care because, after all, they’d been nothing but casual lovers. Although casual lovers didn’t really cuddle, or have romantic dinner dates. Casual lovers didn’t play the guitar for their woman, they didn’t make pancakes for breakfast. But then again, she’d never had a casual lover, so what would she know?
“I have to go, now,” Ellie said, interrupting Charli’s musing. “Are you sure you don’t want to eat with us?”
Charli shook her head. “Thanks, but like I said, I’ve got tons of things to do. And somehow I doubt your husband would be very happy having me around right now.”
“He doesn’t like seeing his baby girl cry and he’s very protective of his family, so knowing you’ve hurt his brother didn’t earn you any brownie points with him.”
“I didn’t hurt him!” Charli took a steadying breath and let it out slowly. “For the umpteenth time, I didn’t hurt Kean. He’s okay. He seemed fine to me when I left him.”
“I just…” Ellie sighed and shook her head. “I just hope you know what you’re doing, and that you won’t regret your decision along the way.”
“I’ll be fine. It’s not as if there was anything more than just… chemistry between the sheets.” And maybe, if she kept saying it, she would start believing it, too. Because the way her heart ached the moment she’d walked out of his cottage didn’t feel like simple chemistry.
Ellie’s narrowed stare made her want to squirm. Had her friend caught the lie?
“Go now. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” She put her hands on Ellie’s shoulders and spun her around. She desperately needed some time alone. Maybe she’d call her mother, tell her about the job and her visit to San Antonio. Her mom would be happy for her, she was sure.
“It’s not too late to change your mind. Think about it.” Ellie threw the words over her shoulder just before she opened the door. Charli rolled her eyes, knowing her friend couldn’t see her, and walked to the house next door. She didn’t need to think about anything. This was the chance she’d been waiting for. Nobody would change her mind.