Saturday afternoon and I don’t have to work.

I should be happy about that. Most people want to spend their Saturday out with friends, maybe walking through the park, that sort of thing. I’m young, so I should be partying it up, or whatever normal people my age want to do.

Instead, I’m stuck inside thinking about Griffin.

All I want to do is work. Even though I’ve been a little distant toward him, that’s mostly just a defense mechanism. Truthfully, I want to spend all my time in his apartment with him and Lacey. Home is feeling more and more strange and cold, like it’s not the place that I once grew up.

Though I guess I never really felt totally like that. The happy families on TV that sit around the dinner table together every night are totally foreign to me. My parents were always fighting when I was growing up, and my father was barely even home anyway. We were practically raised by a string of nannies and daycare people until finally I was sent off to boarding school and basically forgotten about.

We’ve never had a happy family. I thought that was fine, I figured we were just different. We had power and money, we didn’t need to be like those stupid smiling saps in sitcoms. We were special.

But the more I spend time with Griffin and Lacey, the more I think that’s wrong. It’s possible to have a happy family and to have everything else as well. Griffin adores his daughter and practically dotes on her, although he’s been busy lately, he still does his best to make time for her. She’s young though right now. When I was first hired, Griffin made it a point to say that this job won’t last forever, because he’s going to scale his time at the office back soon. He clearly wants to be involved in his daughter’s life, wants to raise her, and wants to have that happy family that I never could imagine.

It’s part of what scares me about him. I know that I’m involved in something that could hurt him and his family, that could push them apart. I could directly lead to his family maybe breaking up, or at least to it breaking down. I’m worried that if I keep putting myself out there, I’ll end up just hurting the two of them, and I don’t want to do that.

But I also can’t stop trying to protect them and I can’t stop wanting him. That’s not totally the reason I’ve been distant anyway.

I’m also afraid of how he’ll react to my virginity. Some men find it attractive and some men think it’s strange, and I’m terrified that Griffin will think I’m weird. I don’t know if a man like him could understand that someone would choose to remain a virgin until the right time. I’m worried he’ll look at me differently.

As I’m lying in bed reading a book, I feel my phone buzz next to me. Curious, I pick it up.

“It feels weird without you here.”

I can’t help but smile. It’s like Griffin knew that I was thinking about him or something.

“Does Lacey miss me?” I send back.

“She sure does. Keeps asking for you.”

“I bet,” I say, smiling. Lacey doesn’t really use full sentences yet.

“It’s true. She keeps asking where that pretty girl Daddy is always trying to kiss is hiding.”

“Tell her I’m hiding from her aggressive father.”

“I guess you wouldn’t be interested in visiting us if you’re in hiding then.”

I can’t help but smile at that. I don’t respond immediately, because I don’t want to seem too eager, but truthfully I was hoping he’d message me today. I didn’t think he’d invite me over, but that’s even better.

“How much are you paying me?” I ask him.

“Nothing. This is purely a social visit.”

“Good. See you soon.” I hit send then jump out of bed and get changed.

I have to make myself presentable for him, of course, but I can’t go overboard. My father is home today and if I run into him on the way out, I don’t want him to be suspicious of my clothes. I choose a pair of tight jeans, sneakers, and an appropriate t-shirt, but I make sure that it’s tight in all the right places at least. I do my makeup and hair, but I don’t go overboard. When I’m finished, I’m slightly more dressed up than I usually am when I go over there, but not so much that it looks suspicious.

I head out of my room, feeling nervous. Normally I’d ask to use the family car and have the driver take me over, but today I don’t feel like doing that. I order an Uber on my way outside, and fortunately nobody stops me.

I head downstairs and out onto the sidewalk. I wish I had waited to order that Uber, but unfortunately I have to wait a few minutes before the black car pulls up outside of my apartment. I get into the back and the guy heads out, driving me over to Griffin’s.

It’s a pretty short trip. The Uber guy drops me off outside of Griffin’s apartment and I tip him a couple dollars. I know Uber people aren’t paid all that great, so I always try to tip them. Apparently they weren’t always allowed to take tips, but they are now, ever since the drivers won a court case.

I ring Griffin’s bell and he lets me right in. I can’t help but smile when I see him, holding Lacey in his arms.

“There she is,” Griffin says. “Glad you could come over.”

“Well, when I heard Lacey was asking for me, I couldn’t help it.”

Griffin grins and hands me Lacey. I hold her for a second as we head back into the living room then I put her down with her toys.

“It’s almost naptime for her,” he says to me.

I feel a thrill run through my stomach. “How is she today?”

“Good,” he says. “Lots of energy this morning, so I think she’s ready to sleep.”

We sit down on the couch as Lacey plays in front of us. I feel a little strange, since I never really come over here unless it’s for work. But right now, I’m definitely not working, and the way Griffin is looking at me makes my heart beat faster.

He’s so goddamn handsome. I have to look way from him. I need a distraction. I get down on the floor and play with Lacey, and Griffin joins in after a few seconds.

We all play around together, and any sort of reserved hesitancy I may have felt at first quickly goes away. It’s a really simple pleasure, just playing with a toddler like this with someone that I care about, and I never knew that I could really feel this way.

All of a sudden, I feel overwhelmed, but not in a bad way. I realize that this is something I never experienced as a kid. Maybe when I was incredibly young my parents were nicer to me, but I don’t think so. I can’t imagine they ever sat down together and played with me for more than two minutes at a time, especially not without arguing. I bet they fought about the best way to play with us constantly. Or probably not, since my father was usually working weekends even back then.

This feels good. I know I’m not actually in this family at all, but I like Lacey and I really like Griffin. I like sitting on the floor with them, laughing and playing, not a single care in the whole world. It feels so good and wholesome, I never really thought this would be something I’d like.

We play like that for about a half hour, and I quickly lose track of time. I never knew that this could be such a good and simple pleasure. I thought it was a job, although an easy job, but hanging out with Griffin and Lacey off the clock is something else.

It’s what a family should be. It’s all those cheesy sitcoms but better, much better.

“Okay, little doll,” Griffin says finally, glancing at his watch. “Time for you to nap.”

Lacey makes a sound and I just laugh. “Here, I’ll put her down.”

“No, I got her. Make yourself comfortable.” Griffin scoops her up into his arms and carries her off back into her bedroom.

I watch him go for a second then I clean up her little play area. When that’s done, I stand and start to look at all the pictures he has lined up along the walls.

I’ve looked at these before, but I feel like I never really saw them. They’re mostly Griffin and Lacey, though some of them are from when Griffin was younger. One guy keeps popping up a lot, and I assume that’s James, the man Griffin told me is his best friend. Although I know Griffin has gone through some things in his past, it looks like he’s had a really nice family life, maybe easier than some people.

I’m a little jealous of that. My family life has been less than stellar so far.

He comes back into the room after a few minutes. I hold up a picture of him when he was in college standing with another guy in their caps and gowns. “Is this you and James?” I ask him.

“I’m surprised you remember that name,” he says. “I only mentioned him once or twice.”

“I have a good memory for that sort of thing.”

He walks over and takes the picture from me, smiling at it fondly. “Yeah, that’s us. We went to a bar called McMillan’s after this picture was taken and got absolutely hammered.”

I laugh a little bit. “Those were the days.”

“Maybe,” I say. “But maybe not. I was working a lot, even back then.”

“I guess you’d have to.”

I smirks at me. “What’s that mean?”

“Well, to get where you are now. You’d have to work hard for it.”

He nods and puts the picture back. “It’s true. You can be blessed with brains and an amazing idea, but without hard work, nothing ever happens.”

I laugh as he heads into the kitchen and pours two glasses of water. “Sounds like something a motivational speaker would say.”

He shrugs. “Sometimes that shit’s right, I guess.”

I accept my glass and drink half of it down. “How was getting Lacey down?” I ask.

“Piece of cake,” he says.

“She’s not always so easy, you know.”

“Oh, I know,” he says. “You know you’re the first nanny I’ve had watching her fulltime, right? I used to work half days and relieve the other girl I had working here around noon.”

“Must have been nice,” I say. “How many girls have you had working for you, anyway?”

He laughs and grins at me. “Are you jealous?”

I blush and shake my head. “Of course not.”

“Sure.” He sits down at the counter. “Don’t worry, though. She was fifty-five and not my type.”

“Right. Of course.” I sit down next to him, feeling a little foolish. I guess when he said “girl,” I assumed she was my age.

“You’re the youngest person I’ve had work for me,” he says. “Most attractive, too.”

“Is that why you had me come over?” I ask him. “Just to compliment my looks?”

“No,” he says. “I think you know why I wanted you to come over here.”

“Why’s that?” I can feel my heart beating in my chest. He moves closer to me. I walk backwards until I run into the counter. A smirk crawls across his face.

“We have unfinished business.” He stops inches away from me, but he doesn’t touch me. He might as well be stroking my skin, though, because I feel so excited just having him near.

“There’s something I want to talk to you about,” I say quickly.

“Okay,” he says. “Let’s talk about it then.”

“I haven’t been totally honest with you.”

He frowns slightly. “About what?”

“I told you that I’m inexperienced,” I say slowly.

“Right. I recall that.”

“Well, I left something out.” I suddenly can’t find the courage to say the words. He steps closer and slowly puts his hands on my hips. A thrill runs down my spine and my heart starts to hammer even faster. I feel like I might hyperventilate.

“Say it, Erin,” he whispers in my ear. “Go ahead.” His lips are so close to mine. “Just say the words.”

“I’m a virgin.”

He kisses me hard and deep, sending an explosion of desire down my spine.

We kiss like that for what feels like forever. I wrap my arms around his neck and he pulls me tight against him. I can feel that thrill and desire making my pussy dripping wet for him, and I suddenly realize that it doesn’t matter if I’m a virgin. It just doesn’t matter at all.

Slowly, we break apart. “I know you are,” he says softly, smirking at me.

“You knew?”

“Of course. Well, I guessed, at least. “

“How?”

“I put two and two together.” He kisses me again, biting my lower lip softly. “I can teach you, Erin.”

“What can you teach me?” I stare into his handsome eyes.

“Everything.”

He kisses me again, slow and deep.