I’m practically still vibrating when I get home from Griffin’s.

I can’t stop thinking about him. The way he touched me, the way he made me feel. He was so confident and he knew exactly what he was doing as soon as he saw me. It was like he was just waiting to walk in on me touching myself, and it was the most natural thing in the world for him to step in and get involved.

I’ve never done anything like that in my life. Of course, I’ve given blowjobs before, and I’ve been touched and fingered and licked, but never like that. Not even with the anal plug, which I left at his place, but everything: Griffin just knew what he was doing in a way that I’ve never experienced before.

Most of the boys I’ve been with were just that, boys. They were inexperienced, just like me, and they fumbled through the motions, trying to pretend like they were cooler than they really were. But now that I’ve been with a real man, one who really does know what he’s doing, I can totally see through all that bullshit.

Those guys didn’t know anything, not like Griffin. He knew exactly where to touch me and when, and the way he spoke dirty to me really drove me crazy. He pushed my limits but didn’t push too far.

And having every hole filled… that’s just so filthy. So freaking filthy and dirty and bad and god, just thinking about it makes me excited again. I can’t help myself. It’s the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced in my life, and it’s just the start of what I can have with Griffin. I know there’s more he has coming for me, and I can barely contain myself.

When I finally get home, I head right into my bedroom. I don’t want to run into anyone right now. I’m afraid that they’ll see what I did on my face somehow, and I’ll be in even bigger trouble than before.

But as soon as I’m in my room, the door shut, I suddenly feel the weight of what I’m supposed to be doing again. I’m supposed to be spying on Griffin, getting information from him that could possibly hurt him. My father wants to use me to seduce Griffin, and suddenly I’m terrified that I’m doing exactly that.

Am I just using sex to get closer to Griffin for my family?

The thought seems so absurd. I’m a virgin and totally inexperienced. How could I possibly do that to a man like Griffin? I’m not really even capable of being sexy like that. And yet I find myself falling closer and closer to Griffin, and I don’t know why I’m doing it.

I did protect him once. My father wants to bug his apartment, but I’m keeping him at bay. That has to mean something.

As I lie back and think about what the hell’s going on, there’s a sudden knock at my door. I sit up as my father bursts in.

“Erin,” he says. “We need to talk.”

“Uh, okay,” I say. “I just got home.”

“Fine. Good.” He sits down on a chair in the corner, his eyes locked on mine. I scoot over and sit on the edge of my bed. “I need information, Erin.”

“I told you, I’m working on it.”

He narrows his eyes, and I realize that he’s a little drunk. I know that look. A little fear spikes through me.

“Don’t talk to me that way,” he says. “I’m your father. You’ll do as your told.”

“I’m trying,” I say a little more softly, suddenly worried.

“Try harder.” He stands up, his face twisted suddenly into a mask of anger. “Try much fucking harder. Is that plumber still there?”

“Yes,” I say. “The guys has a team with him now. They’re renovating one of his bathrooms.”

“God damnit.” He slams his fist down on the top of my dresser. “You’re not doing shit for me, Erin. You really think you can handle a hotel? You can’t even handle this stupid sack of shit asshole.”

I ball my fists but hold back. “I’m trying,” I say again.

“Give me something. Anything. Things aren’t going well, Erin, or do you like that? Are you happy that I’m getting fucked up the ass by Griffin’s big fucking cock?” He’s practically yelling at me and I know the whole house can hear it.

I don’t know why I make this decision. The words just start tumbling out before I can even think about them.

“He has a secret account,” I say quickly. “I don’t know what it is. But he talks about it on the phone sometimes, and he gets really quiet.”

Father gapes at me for a second then laughs out loud. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“No. I didn’t tell you because… because I didn’t know if it was real.”

“God damn.” I can see the excitement in his eyes. “A secret account. Do you know what this means?”

I shake my head a little bit. “Not really.”

“I can get him for this. Oh, I can. I’ll have my people on it.” He looks at me, suddenly hard. “Don’t hold these things back from me. You’re clearly too stupid to tell which bits of information are important and which aren’t.”

“I’m sorry,” I say, seething on the inside, but partially excited that he’s buying it.

“What else do you know?”

“Nothing. I swear.”

He looks at me then nods. “Good. Fine. Good for now. But work harder.” He turns and head to the door. “Secret account…” he mumbles to himself, slurring his words, and laughs as he pulls the door shut behind him.

I collapse back onto my bed and sigh. What the hell did I just do?

I could have told my father about the letters. I could have told him about any numbers of things that I’ve seen in Griffin’s apartment. Hell, I bet if I showed him the lingerie, he’d be so excited that he’d forget I’m his daughter and that’s totally weird. My father only cares about embarrassing Griffin, not about how I feel, not at all.

Instead, I lied to him again to protect Griffin. Now he’ll keep his distance, at least for a little while. I don’t know how long it takes to remodel a bathroom, but I’ll figure that out. And then I’ll figure out how to keep him away for longer if I have to.

I guess I made up my mind. I don’t know when it happened, but I really did. I’m not helping my father anymore. He’s an old bastard that doesn’t give a damn about me at all. He doesn’t care about my happiness or what I want.

Worst of all, he thinks I’m useless and stupid. Well, I’m not. Joke’s on him, I’m actually playing him and he doesn’t even realize it.

Stupid old bastard. My whole fucking family treats me like an idiot and a dog. The only person in the world that seems to genuinely care about what I think and do is Griffin. There’s no chance I’m going to betray him, not after tonight especially. Not after he held me, kissed me, made me feel good, and then showered with me. He was intimate with me, not just sexual. I could see that there’s something else between us.

It’s not just sex. It’s something else, and I’ll fight my father back just to have a chance to find out what I can be with Griffin. I’m done taking orders. I’m growing up and moving on.

My stupid drunk father doesn’t know who he’s dealing with.