After Griffin dropped me off and I stupidly kissed him, I had to wait in the lobby of that random building until he left. When he was gone, I snuck back out and called for a car to come pick me up.

I had an amazing time. I can’t deny it. That felt so damn good, going out with him like that and kissing him in his car. I didn’t expect to do any of that, and yet as soon as I was on the dance floor, I felt so good. His body against mine just kept driving the bad thoughts from my mind.

Everything was good until I stupidly started grilling him about his job. The things he said about my father weren’t surprising, but it just reminded me why I’m doing what I’m doing, and it terrifies me.

But I want him. I can’t deny that. There’s no going back now though. I kissed him and it felt amazing, and now I have to figure out how I can juggle both of these things. On the one hand, I need to keep doing my job for my father. But on the other, I want Griffin and I want him badly.

I’m stuck in the middle of these two polar opposites, and I really don’t know what to do.

The next morning, I show up at Griffin’s like always. He doesn’t seem any different though, it’s just like a normal morning. But right before he leaves, he corners me in the hallway.

“Last night was good,” he says softly. He steps closer to me, his eyes locked on mine. “Really good.”

I have to look away. He’s so intense. “Yeah, it was,” I say.

He tips my chin up toward him. “I want to do it again.”

“Which part?” I ask stupidly.

He kisses me softly this time. I let him linger, wanting to savor every moment. “All of it,” he says before leaving.

I stare after him, chills running down my spine. He’s just so freaking handsome and charming. I’ve never met a person who can make me feel this way.

But I’m starting to notice my lack of experience. I’ve kissed people of course, but I know what he wants to do from here. I’ve never had sex with someone though, and I just don’t know if I’m ready to give that to him.

Even if I really, really want to. Because if anyone can make my first time special and good, it’s definitely Griffin. I can already tell he has that special touch, I could feel it in his kiss and on the dance floor. The man knows how to move and he knows how to make me feel things. I don’t know what else I need.

There’s just one thing holding me back, and it’s this stupid secret that’s still sitting between us. I quickly leave the hallway and go back to taking care of Lacey.

I try my hardest to forget about Griffin while I’m with Lacey. I’m as focused on her as possible. But I still find myself drifting off to dreams of Griffin’s rough hands on my hips.

The day drifts in fits and starts. Lacey goes down for a nap, but only sleeps for a half hour. I have to wolf down my lunch in that time. She’s fussy all day, for whatever reason. Normally she’s a dream, but today she just must be feeling off.

Well, that makes two of us.

My phone rings around three, pulling me out of my funk. I answer it without really thinking, distracted by Lacey trying to put one of her toys in her mouth.

“Hello?” I say.

“Erin. It’s me.”

I pause, surprised. “Dad?”

“I need something from you.” He sounds a little hurried, a little stressed.

“What can I do?” My heart starts beating quicker as nerves tingle down my skin.

“I’m two blocks away with a team of men. I want to sweep through the apartment.”

I stare openmouthed in shock at the wall. “You want to do what?”

“They’re professionals, Erin. They’ll be very discreet. You can watch the daughter while we search the apartment. It’ll take an hour at most, and then we’ll plant some bugs before we leave.”

“Bug?” I feel stupid, dim, and he’s only two blocks away.

“Bugs,” he says. “Listening devices. This way, you can leave this filthy job.”

Leave. He wants me to leave Griffin and Lacey.

“Why?” I sputter.

“You’ve done well, Erin. Very well. I was hard on you, I know, but this is a better course of action.” He pauses for a second. “Erin, we’re a block away.”

I stare at the ground and finally I look at Lacey. For the first time all day, she looks back at me and smiles. Suddenly her fussy tears are gone and she’s the adorable smiling baby that I’ve started to really enjoy.

They want to break into Griffin’s apartment. Well, they want me to let them in so that they can go through his things and plant listening devices all over. That’s so insane I can barely believe it. But if I let them, my father just might give me the job that I really want. He even said that I did well.

I might never see Griffin again. In fact, I probably won’t. And any semblance of privacy he once had will be totally gone. He’ll be bugged and watched in his own home all the time.

“You can’t,” I say.

Silence from my father for a moment. “Why?”

I suddenly pitch my voice down, whispering. “I’m not alone.”

“What’s happening?”

“He has a plumber here,” I say, thinking fast. “I think it’s his cousin.”

“His cousin is a plumber?” My father sounds unconvinced.

“Or someone his cousin recommended. I don’t know, but I’m not alone here. You can’t come now.”

“Erin, we’re on the way. Do something about him.”

“I can’t,” I hiss. “You can’t come now. You should have called sooner.”

He pauses. “How involved is the job?” he asks. “Will he be gone soon?”

“I don’t know,” I say. “I haven’t been checking, but there’s been a lot of noise.”

“Ask him,” he commands.

“I can’t just ask, that’ll look odd,” I say.

“Make it look normal,” my father answers, clearly angry. “Do it, Erin.”

I sigh and cover the phone for a moment. I count to twenty.

“He says he’ll be here late, and he’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Fuck,” my father says. “That’s just great. When does he take his lunch?”

“I don’t know,” I say. “This isn’t my fault. You need to prepare me for these things.”

Another short silence. “Fine,” he grunts. “I’m calling it off.”

My father hangs up the phone.

I collapse down onto the couch, practically shaking. Lacey teeters over to me and climbs into my lap.

I wrap my arms around her, not sure about what I just did. I may have just made a huge mistake. I don’t know if Griffin really likes me or if he just wants to sleep with me, and yet I’m willing to risk everything for him already. I lied to my father, and if he finds out, I’m finished. He’ll send me overseas again, or worse.

But the more I look at Lacey, the more I know that I did the right thing.

Sending me here to spy on Griffin was bad enough. I agreed to do it, because I was under the assumption that Griffin was a bad person. But the more I get to know him, the more I realize that it’s my father who’s the villain in this situation.

And I don’t know what to do. I’m beginning to believe that I have to protect Griffin and Lacey, but I don’t know how long I can do it before my father catches me. And if he does, I don’t know what he’ll do to me. Something awful, I’m sure.

It’s the right thing to do. Sometimes the right thing is the hardest thing, and betraying my family like this is very, very hard. But they’ve never done anything for me, never helped me beyond throwing money at me, and I can’t let them destroy Griffin like this. It’s evil and it’s wrong.

I hug Lacey close and vow never to let anyone hurt this sweet little girl, not if I can help it.