Little baby Illya’s laughter filled the kitchen as I scooped him up and wiped the baby food from his tiny hands. He looked so much like his father, Tensley, but had his mother’s violent blue eyes. His dark unruly curls framed his chubby face and I couldn’t resist kissing his cheeks over and over again.
“Hi birthday boy,” Molly said, walking into the white kitchen, her eyes lighting up as soon as she saw her son. I handed him over and she gushed at him, kissing his temple adoringly.
It had been a year since Molly had given birth and just a little under a year since I’d last seen Beau.
Just the thought of him made my chest ache and I pushed the thought away as soon as it appeared. I tried my best to focus on the present. I had been doing better. Tensley and Molly were kind enough to let me stay with them and I helped out with the baby and chores when I could. I had been taking some classes at NYC but it was more to pass the time and I continued to tell Tensley I’d pay him back. He only smiled and shrugged it off.
I pulled out my container of pills and popped one in my mouth. It wasn’t the same as drinking someone’s soul, but it kept me alive and it did the job. It didn’t have much of a taste, but I could feel it feed me. When I had been given the opportunity to feed from someone at a club Dolores took me to one day, to feed off their soul, I couldn’t do it. So I chose pills. It felt wrong to taste someone’s soul from their lips. The act was too sacred to me now.
“The food just arrived,” I told her, gesturing to the china plates of delicious gourmet food gathered on the dining room table.
Molly glanced over at it, still swaying with Illya in her arms. “Perfect.”
Molly had begun working part-time at a museum and with her busy schedule, I had spent more afternoons with Illya. He was such a curious little boy. I had to keep my eye on him at all times because he could be a handful when he thought nobody was watching. But Illya was precious. I took him outside most of the time on walks in the park. I was thankful for Molly, Tensley, and baby Illya. For taking me in and making me part of their family. Just as Tensley chose to protect me and let me join Scorpios when I was a kid.
Dolores came around a lot. To just talk, watch movies or bake awful cookies Tensley threw out with a disgusted frown. I had surrounded myself with positive, caring people and I felt balanced, but there was always going to be that one thing missing. This space inside me that felt empty and ached to be filled by the only person who could.
I hadn’t been easy to be around the first few months after Beau’s departure. I’d cried myself to sleep more times than I could count. But, eventually, the pain had started to ease. I’d started to breathe again. I’d started smiling again…and laughing.
And baby Illya had been a big help on my path back to some kind of happiness. That boy could light up an entire room full of somber, grumpy demons.
On some days, he’d been the only reason why I’d gotten up and out of my room. So that I could play with him. Feel his joy and innocence. And love. So much love.
He lifted up my soul.
He had saved me from tumbling back into a dark place I didn’t want to go to again.
“You want me to take him while you go get ready?” I asked.
Molly shook her head. “You go get ready. I left a dress on the bed for you.”
I frowned at her, but she only laughed it off. I didn’t like them spending money on me. I paid rent and my own groceries, but both of them, especially Molly, would often return home with things for me. Like new shoes or dresses or jewelry. She always played it off as nothing, saying she’d seen it in a shop window and thought it would fit me perfectly.
Tonight was a little bit different though. All of the soldiers of Scorpios would be attending, including Wesley. He was a guy I had just begun to date. Not seriously, but he was good looking and seemed nice enough. Tensley approved because of his family of soldiers for Scorpios, but only after Molly told him to stop acting like he had any say in my intimate life.
I laughed to myself, remembering last week’s family dinner conversation and Wesley trying not to choke in front of Tensley.
I wasn’t sure if I was fully ready for a relationship. What Beau and I had…it was something else entirely. Our souls had become attached to one another.
Dependent.
He left me so easily and without saying goodbye.
As if whatever we had shared hadn’t meant anything to him.
I shook off thoughts of him once more and walked upstairs to my bedroom. My room was in another wing of the townhouse, separating me from Molly and Tensley and Illya. Which frankly, I was thankful for. When I woke up to go to the bathroom at night, I could often hear Molly’s moans and Tensley’s grunts.
I didn’t need it right beside me when I was trying to sleep.
I opened the door to my bedroom and gazed at the dark red dress laid out on my bed. The room was simple, but Molly had decorated it with a touch of her upper East side past. A large comfy bed and silk sheets, along with an antique dresser. A large window lets in all the natural light, overlooking the backyard.
Pulling my t-shirt over my head and yanking off my jeans, I slipped the sheer dress over my body.
It was snug, tight, which made my breasts look like they were on the brink of spilling out. I moved to the mirror and stared back at myself.
My frame had filled out to a healthier, curvy figure, and the slit of the dress ended dangerously high on my thigh.
I sighed, moving to my dresser and plugging in my curling iron. Please let the night be over with quickly.
BEAU
The sight of Scorpios’ townhouse made my heart clench. It still stood tall and proud, as if nothing had changed but myself.
I stepped out of the car and fixed my jacket, taking a deep breath before marching up to the French glass doors.
When I entered, the soldiers paused, lifting their gaze to take me in.
For a moment, it appeared no one recognized me.
Until one after the other, their gazes dropped back to their shoes, becoming stiff statues in front of me.
I clenched my jaw and walked down the hallway, my shoes the only sound as they clicked across the black and white tiled floor.
I stopped right outside of my father’s office—now Tensley’s office. I steeled myself before entering, seeing him working at his desk, reading what looked to be a report.
His eyes lifted and his features softened. “You’re back.”
I shrugged, stepping farther in. “I did what was asked. I kept Boston in line. Now Scorpios has safely spread its control over Ares’ old territory. The transition was a bit rocky, but it’s done.”
Tensley nodded, staring back at me. “I figured you’d rather stay there. In Boston.”
I stuffed my hands into my pockets and clenched my jaw. “Things change.”
Like myself.
The entire year away, I focused on myself. On bettering me. On cleansing my soul for her.
Lex. My Lex.
I wasn’t ready for her yet. I wasn’t ready to see her. I wanted to come to her as the man she needed. The man that would protect her.
But I knew I wasn’t there yet.
Every time I felt like giving up, I thought of her.
And it kept me pushing through the darkness and toward the light.
“I’ve heard nothing but praise,” Tensley said, nodding at me. “They said they’d never seen a man so vicious.”
I sucked at my teeth, not sure what to say to that.
I’d discovered a new side of myself, a man whose soul wasn’t as dark and angry as it had once been. And it wasn’t the man I’d been before Fallen had ripped out my old heart. This was a different version of myself. But in order to rule, control, and oblige my duties to Scorpios, I had to keep part of the Savage alive and thriving. Keeping an iron fist on Boston had certainly done the trick.
Before, I’d been controlled by my anger in all aspects of my life. It had been what had controlled all my relationships.
But I was better at controlling it now. Controlling my anger. Controlling the darkness.
But still, they were there.
My soul still felt heavy and dark. All the months of aching for it to be cleansed hadn’t changed me enough.
The sound of laughter from the backyard filled the silence. Tensley paused, glancing at his watch. “Fuck. Molly’s gonna kill me.”
Nothing new.
Tensley stood, his gaze going back to me. “Scorpios is celebrating my son’s birthday. If you’d like to join us.”
I rubbed my thumb along my palm. “I have plans.” I had planned to go straight to the Pit to see Tegan and Steel. I had business to take care of there.
Tensley nodded again and I stood, moving out into the hallway. The same hallway I once walked as a teenager believing I’d be ruling as Dux after my father retired.
My fingers twitched, aching to take a drag of belladonna. It didn’t help much, but it made me stop missing Lex.
As I reached into my pocket, head bowed, I heard another set of shoes clicking against the tiled floor. Softer, faster.
I glanced up—and my blood ran cold.
Alexandra, dark hair secured back on one side of her head, the loose waves caressing over her bare shoulder—and a deep dark red dress hugging her every curve. Like a siren. Like a temptress.
My heart froze. My body stiffened. My beast roared.
Her red ruby lips parted at the sight of me.
Those lips I’d kissed so many times.
And then those small deadly lips morphed into a scowl.