What started as a fun evening was beginning to turn south. I figured it would take a while for her to forgive me but in the back of my mind I was thinking we were getting so close. There was everything a relationship should be, between us: attraction, friendship, respect, mostly trust. Then she goes and says something like this and it reminds me of what a selfish bastard I’ve been. Am being, truth be told.

She didn’t completely trust me yet. Which didn’t necessarily come as a surprise considering it’d been all of two days for us to start new. But that’s what I wanted. I wanted her and my son and I wanted to leave the past behind. I wasn’t sure what was in store for Abby and me; I wanted her now. I knew that.

If Abby’s questionable gaze was any indication, that wasn’t going to happen any time soon.

“What do you want me to say, Abby? I told you I fucked up. I’ve spent more than enough time regretting that choice.”

“I’m not trying to punish you, Thatcher. My heart, Thayer’s heart, are the ones that are going to get broken. It’s not as easy for me to forget what you did. I’ve been living every day of my life since you left, with your decision.”

“Because of Thayer?”

“No. Because I married your best friend. Try to see things through my eyes, for just a moment, will you? I got pregnant young and married my friend who was willing to sacrifice his life goals so I wasn’t pregnant out of wedlock. A friend. I was in a relationship that was nothing more than a friendship at any given time in the whole five years. You know what that means?”

“No sex,” I answered a little too eagerly.

“Nothing. Sure, Adrian loved me but it was never that fierce, burning passionate love from a man who couldn’t keep his hands off me. It wasn’t spontaneous orgasms on the stairs. So, no love, no sex and no fun,” she swung her arm around her, “no fun like this, that’s for sure. Ever. I wouldn’t trade Thayer for anything. I understand being a parent takes a lot and means that my life is intertwined with a child’s but since you took off, I’ve been going through motions – just letting life happen. I’ve been doing nothing except getting pulled along by it.”

I didn’t interrupt. I didn’t know what to say. Looking at it from her perspective, made her look so damn lonely and I couldn’t stand the way my gut tugged at the thought. The way my stomach rolled inside of me if she knew exactly what I was up to. Less than five miles away and the woman I was into wasn’t even living a life she enjoyed. Not like I thought she was. Talk about wrecking a guy’s day.

“I’ve given myself more orgasms than I can count. You were the only man I ever wanted, Thatcher. The only guy my heart expanded and ached over. My entire being wants this to work between us. For us. For our son. But it’s extremely hard to let go of the past. The past where you chose not to be with us because we didn’t matter enough. The past where I thought you were head over boots in love with me. The same past where I spent five years of my life thinking about how we were never good enough for you and wondering about what kind of woman was.”

An awkward feeling in my throat and something akin to shame settled in my chest. Her normally bright eyes were dim in the waning twilight. Now probably wasn’t the right time to pull her into my arms and show her how I planned to make her less lonely. Body and soul.

“I never thought of things that way,” I managed.

“I know. I just want you to know why this,” she used her hand to gesture between us, “isn’t as easy for me as you’d like it to be.”

“Let’s go home. You can drive.” I gestured toward the four-wheeler.

“I don’t know how to drive one of these things.”

“It’s a piece of cake. I’m going to teach you. It’s fairly easy getting to my house from here so you don’t have to worry about that drop-off.”

“Okay.” Her smile was full of trepidation but she climbed on and I began to show her how it worked.

By the time we’d pulled into the driveway, the sun was officially down with leftover rays partially lighting up the sky. I left all of our gear on the four-wheeler and followed her into the house.

“Oh. What about the reading spot?” she asked.

“Nah,” I shook my head. “It was a bad idea anyway.”

“What? You led me to believe this entire time we were going to read and now you don’t want to?”

My plan had been simple enough. I knew Abby enjoyed reading and after seeing Gracie this morning, I’d stopped by the drug store and bought the first book I’d seen on the romance rack.

“I was going to read to you.”

Her brows arched in surprise, “You were? What were you going to read?”

“I don’t know. Some book I bought at the drug store today.”

“Adrian and I didn’t read together. I would love for you to read to me. But what about the darkness?”

“I’ve got that covered. I have an LED light that will be plenty bright. I picked it up from the romance section. You sure about this?” I asked.

The shameful feeling I’d felt when we stood near the river and she all but poured her heart out to me about her not living life, was still there and I would do anything to make it go away. Reading a romance out loud couldn’t be that hard, could it?

“Yes. What book did you get?”

“I have no idea. We’ll have to see when we get outside. Meet me out there in five minutes?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

I watched her heart-shaped ass sway left and right as she walked out of the kitchen. The red top she wore was short enough that as she walked off, I’d caught a glimpse of her milky skin and that reminded me of the nipple biting.

The orgasm she had on my knee.

Five years of abstinence. It hadn’t taken long for her little pussy to fall apart at all. I wanted more. I wanted to feel that little pussy on my fingertips. On my hands. On my mouth. On my cock.

There was no plan to bite her nipple, suck on it. But fuck. When she was underneath me, her hair fanned out all wild and her lithe body wrestling all around, it was a simple reaction. I couldn’t help myself. I was caught up in the moment. That she belonged in my hands as I tickled the hell out of her. Frankly, it was a natural reaction. I shouldn’t have done it. I shouldn’t have egged her on to have an orgasm. I only wanted to make her happy.

I wanted to give her everything she hoped and dreamt about. Everything I fucked up when I walked away.

I grabbed the plastic bag the cashier had kindly given me to hold the book I’d purchased out of my room and went to the kitchen to gather up some beer to throw in my cooler. A few minutes later Abigail bounded into the kitchen wearing a long-sleeved white shirt and pink polka dot bottoms.

“I put my pajamas on.”

“I see that. You ready?”

She moved to the sliding glass door and my dick twitched at the backside of her short little pajama bottoms. They rode high on her legs exposing the creamy white flesh of her mile-long legs. Help me, God. I was in trouble.

I lit the tiki torches and opened the LED camping light, making sure my plan would actually work. Night had come and there was no way we’d be able to read without the light. Satisfied with the lighting, I pulled my work boots off.

“Ready?” I held out my hand to help her into the makeshift spot.

I took her exclamations of joy as a sign that I did right. Once we settled in and strategically placed the pillows to provide maximum comfort, I opened the cooler and popped the tops off two beers.

“I’m just dying to know what book you picked up.”

I shrugged, “Who knows? Something sappy no doubt.”

“That’s hard to say now days. You wouldn’t believe the kind of talk romance novels have these days.”

“That so?”

“Yes, sir. Actually, it’s the kind that’s right up your alley.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

Teasingly, I buried my hand into the bag and pulled the book out halfway, then shoved it back in until she made a grab for it herself. I pulled it away.

“You ready?” I asked.

She nodded and took a swig of beer.

“Okay. Here it is.”

Laughter rumbled from her throat and I looked at the title. “What’s so funny?”

“You’ve seriously never heard of this book? It’s one of the most-popular romance trilogies of all time right now. They’re making them into movies.”

“Are you saying you’ve already read it?” I couldn’t hide my disappointment.

“I’ve read it. But you haven’t read it and you certainly haven’t read it to me. Let’s begin.”

Just like that she was ready to get going but because she’d already read it, I wasn’t completely vested like I was before.

“You don’t mind reading it again?”

“Not at all. It’s a great book.”

“What’s with the tie on the front?”

“Oh, you’ll see,” she promised with a genuine smile although I couldn’t overlook the fact that she looked like she was hiding something amusing.

“Okay.”

I began. A few times I had to stop and look over at her to make sure she hadn’t fallen asleep. Every time I glanced over though, she was wide awake with a smirk on her lips.

More reading and finally it was time for a discussion. “The guy sounds like an asshole.”

“He’s not. Well, he is and he isn’t.”

“So he gets better?”

“I don’t want to spoil it. Keep reading,” she demanded.

I arched my brow at her demand but continued reading. Every so often I glanced at her to make sure she hadn’t fallen asleep. A few times her gaze strayed and she wasn’t looking at me. Finally, I caught her peering at the stars and I set the book down, satisfied that we’d gotten through the first few chapters.

“Beautiful, aren’t they?”

“Definitely beautiful.” Although I was referring more to her than I was of all those precious stars.

She blushed and I reached out to her cheek, guiding her face for her eyes to look into mine. “Can we continue reading tomorrow night, too?”

“You aren’t tired of the control freak?”

“The book, so far, isn’t terrible. I enjoy reading it to you.”

“Then tomorrow it is.”

“When do you have to pick up Thayer from your mom’s house?”

“Mama’s bringing him to the office around four. She offered to keep him again but I know he can be a handful sometimes.”

“He doesn’t seem like a handful to me.”

“He sure can be. Kids are amazing and all, but they have their moments. Sometimes Thayer makes me want to tear my hair out.”

I know it’s the truth, and I also know this is coming from her broken heart. A warning to me that you can get more than you bargained for where children are concerned as well as a gentle reminder of why I left her in the first place.

An offhand sentence that opens up our relationship as wide as the Atlantic Ocean.