“Don’t fucking tell me.”

We could see the smoke billowing in the sky as we drove along Main Street. The street was lined with cars all pulled over haphazardly.

“Is it the newspaper?”

I jerked the truck over into an empty spot I found, not close enough to see which building was on fire. But close enough to know it was near Abby’s work. Before I’d put it into park, she was already out of the truck. I grabbed Thayer and lifted him onto my shoulders in order to keep up with Abby.

“Wait up,” I yelled after her.

She turned a second and paused and I quickly caught up to her.

“It’s the paper. I know it is, Thatcher.”

Sure enough, the old brick building was going up in flames. The brick was still standing and was containing the fire within much like a bonfire burn barrel. Luckily it sat alone and wasn’t close enough to other buildings as much of the downtown was. Different buildings but built so close to one another they often tricked newcomers.

“No. Not again. How could this happen? Surely someone saw something this time.”

Abby wiped tears from her cheeks as she watched the fire burn and I imagined she was watching her house all over again.

“What’s happening?” Thayer asked from his perch.

I shifted him over so I could pull him down and set him on the pavement. I got eye to eye with him and my stomach did somersaults at the unshed tears in his eyes.

“Somehow your mama’s work caught fire. The firefighters are doing their best to put it out. Look at them. See? Heroes, aren’t they?”

“Yeah, like Spider-Man?”

Assuming he wasn’t referring to his turtle and the actual Spider-Man, I nodded. “Yes, like Spider-Man. Everything will be okay, you’ll see.”

“Is it just like the fire at our house?”

“It is Buddy. It’s going to take some time to put it out.”

“Thatcher?”

“Yeah?”

“I think I want to be a fireman when I grow up. Like you.”

“I’m not a fireman. I own a feed store, remember?”

“I know. But you’re a hero and I want to be a hero, too.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to ask him why he thought I was a hero. I couldn’t force any words to come out though. I wasn’t a hero. I don’t know why he thought so.

“Thatcher? I got here as fast as I could. Where’s Abby?”

Abby’s mom leaned in for a quick hug and bent down to pick up Thayer.

“She was standing here a second ago.” I scanned the crowd of heads looking for Abigail’s strawberry highlights.

“She’s over there. Is that Miranda Phillips?”

“Thatch.” Cap and Ryan stood next to me, both watching the scene before us.

“Miranda came into work early. Thankfully she wasn’t inside when the fire started. I’d be busting heads if anything happened to her.”

I shook hands with both of them as Lorna smiled and said hello.

“Any word on what happened?” I asked.

“Nothing, man. Hell, it’s early still. When’s he got to be at school?”

Shit. “Now.”

“I’ll take him,” Lorna offered. “Doing no good standing ‘round here being in the way. Let Abby know I came by and took him to school. Where’s your backpack Honey?”

“It’s in my truck. I can go get it.”

“No. You stay here with Abby. She needs you. She pretends she’s strong but the divorce, her house and now her work? She’s gonna break at some point. She trusts you. She needs you.”

I swallowed thinking about Thayer and this hero shit. Some hero I was when I had a secret agenda.

“My truck’s unlocked. See it down there? Thanks, Lorna, for taking him.”

“My pleasure. Let’s get you to school. Say goodbye.”

Thayer embraced my leg with his little arms, his hero comment still clogging my throat. “Take care. See you later.”

Once they walked off I turned to the guys and Cap caught my eye no doubt wondering what’s been going on in my world.

“This is bad shit, man.”

“What sick fucker would do this?” Ryan asked.

“Don’t know. It can’t be an accident, can it?”

“This is the third fire in just as many weeks. Lone Star has two thousand people. You already know Abby’s was set intentionally. What was the story on the other one?”

“You should know, you’re married to the reporter.”

“Not married yet. Besides, last I knew was the fire marshal was still investigating.”

“Here they come now,” Cap said.

Abigail flew into my arms. Her body was trembling and I squeezed her tighter in the hopes I could get them to stop.

“Your mom took Thayer to school,” I said.

“What am I going to do?” she whispered into my neck.

“We’ll figure it out. I promise.”

“You didn’t see anything?” Cap asked Miranda.

I didn’t know Miranda all that well. I’d only met her in passing before Ryan and she hooked up and been around her a few times now. She wasn’t always a good kid and living in a small town, it didn’t take long for everyone to form an opinion about her. I’d been a little skeptical when she and Ryan began dating because I wasn’t convinced she didn’t have an agenda. Pot calling the kettle black I know. However, my reservations about her hadn’t panned out and getting to know her – the real her – she was no different than the rest of us. I hadn’t seen Ryan this happy since before his parents got killed in a car wreck. I could only assume that she was doing good by him.

“I came in early because I’ve been doing research about those other fires,” she glanced at Abby, “and it was fate, really. I spilled my coffee – you know the kind I like from the gas station – and so I cleaned up the mess, got my purse and ran over to get a refill. That’s when we all saw it going up in flames. Ryan, all of my research was in there. My notebook. All the papers about…”

Her voice trailed off and Ryan pulled her into his side. Surely the newspaper kept all their records in a different building, right? That would only make sense. I almost asked Miranda when Abby pulled out of my embrace and turned toward the four of us.

“She was investigating the fires. Remember the ones I told you about awhile back? Which means, whatever work she was working on, is no more. Luckily everything is online now though as far as past articles and papers, so the biggest detriment’s probably going to be the servers. Until we can get those rebuilt, we’re out of a job. I can’t believe this.”

I gripped Abby’s hand, trying to give her as much support as I could.

“You’ll be fine. We’ll make this work I promise.” I don’t know how I’d suddenly promised her and Thayer something in less than twenty minutes, but suddenly my life was all about making sure they were protected. Loved. Taken care of. I was certainly no hero like the men fighting the fire but I wasn’t going to let anyone else try and take my place with these two. Which meant I had something big I had to do. Later. It would have to wait until Abby was stable enough to be on her own.

“Will you take me home, please? To your home, Thatcher.”

“It can be your home too, okay?”

“For now. Okay.”

How about forever? My conscious questioned.

“I’m going to take her home once I run by the feed store. I’m not going to be open today.” I told the three of them.

“Need me to fill in? I ain’t got nothing going on today. I can keep it open for you.”

“Nah, man. Appreciate it, but I’m good. Depending on how she feels, I’ll swing back into town a little later. I have some business I need to take care of. In fact, Abby, how would you feel about driving up to Deer Creek and spending the day with me there?”

“Okay,” she wiped away her remaining tears and gave Miranda a hug.

About an hour later, I helped Abigail out of my truck but not before I placed a kiss on her forehead.

“I’m sorry about everything you’re going through. Let me know if there is anything I can do to make any of this better.”

“Thatcher, I haven’t been very gracious about you lately. Thank you for everything you’ve been doing for Thayer and me. We up and invaded your life and you’ve been taking it all in stride. All you’ve been worried about is our well-being and you haven’t once complained. I will pay you back for all of this-”

“I don’t want your money, Abby.”

“Not my money. Lord knows I don’t have money. I meant with a nice dinner or perhaps, when all of this is over and we move out, if you’d like to spend some time with Thayer, you could do that.”

“What if I wanted to spend time with his mommy too?”

I loved the way her cheeks flushed when I flirted with her. Only I wasn’t flirting so much as I was speaking the truth. A hollow feeling filled my chest when I thought of going home to an empty house. Of those long nights alone when I wondered what the two of them were doing, what game they were playing or what book she was reading to him as she tucked him into bed. These past few weeks, I didn’t have to wonder, I knew. I played the Memory games with them and got to read him books myself before kissing him goodnight, making sure the nightlight in the hallway stayed plugged in just in case he woke up.

“Let’s go in, really quick. There’s something important I have to do.”

Abby led the way and I held the door open for her. It looked the same as it had when I came up just before her house fire. Not a dust bunny in sight. Thanks to Vern. Vern was the ultra-clean store manager. He sat at the counter reading a book and smiled when he saw it was me. He’s worked here for three years. He was a retired electrician who’d raised three kids and had a wife who still worked at the post office. The guy was pretty great and I hated to lose him. But I hated to lose Abby and Thayer more.

“Thatcher, I didn’t expect to see you today. How are you?”

“I’m good. This is Abigail Murphy. Abby, this is Vern Norris.”

“How do you do, ma’am?”

“I’m well, thank you.”

“Look, Vern, I came to talk to you. I know you see the reports each month. Last time I was here, you and I discussed numbers.” I paused and looked at Abigail for strength. If she could go through a divorce and two fires, I could handle this. “I came to close the store.”

“What?” Abby asked as Vern said, “I’ve been expecting it, Son.”

“I’m sorry. I plan to pay you for another two weeks due to the lack of notice. You’ll get your check tomorrow and at least one more. Full pay.”

“I appreciate that. You come up here to close it now? Today?”

“I did. I’ve been tossing around ideas and this is the best choice. It needs to be done. I’ve been putting it off long enough.”

“Thatcher, what is this about?” Abby asked.

“Deer Creek has been losing money ever since they built that home improvement store. I thought I could make it work, but it’s time I face reality.”

“I guess my work here is done then. If it’s all the same to you, I’d like to keep my key and check on it every now and then, make sure nothing’s leaking or no one is causing any mischief.”

“I would appreciate that very much. I’ll be up again soon once I figure out what I’m doing with the inventory and all the rental equipment.”

Vern went back to his stool and grabbed his book and water bottle. Abby touched my arm and I nodded at her concerned expression. I’ve got this. This is what I needed to do. I knew it with absolute certainty.

I walked Vern out and turned the Open sign to Closed and locked us inside. Abby was leaning against the counter obviously waiting for an answer. What could I tell her? What should I tell her? She deserved the truth about my intentions. The universe kept piling bad shit on her plate and I couldn’t continue to be one of those bad things. Especially after the mind-blowing sex. That did something to me – to our relationship and I realized she deserved better. So much better than what I had been doing to her. Whether she knew it or not.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything to me about the store?”

“Honestly, ‘cause until I woke up this morning with you in my arms, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with it. Besides, you have so much going on as it is, I didn’t want to worry you with something I wasn’t even sure what I was going to do with anyway.”

“Aren’t you sad about this? How long has it not been making money?”

“You heard me talking to Vern, since the beginning of the year. I’m a little sad. These stores are my livelihood. It’s what I do.”

“Maybe you should rethink your strategy. Do something different with this store.”

“Abby, I just let go of the store manager. What the hell am I going to do? I’ve considered my options and the fact is a business is a business. I made an executive decision based on the facts. A lot of businesses suffer because people are too blind to face the reality that their business is failing. Truthfully, I’ve waited too long already.”

She stood and stared at me like I had a set of horns growing out of my head. “What?” I snapped.

“You’re not telling me something, are you? I get the sense that there is more to this story than you’re letting on.”

“I’m sorry for snapping at you. There isn’t more to the story. Come on,” I held out my hand and pulled her away from the counter. “Let’s go have a look around. There’s a few things I need to take care of before we head back down to Lone Star.”

In this case, I was grateful that I didn’t have computer equipment and the like for keeping track of sales. A simple cash register and roll of white paper had done me wonders. I checked the register and emptied what was in there and took the three rental slips to call the people who’d rented equipment so I could have Vern meet them for returns.

“Need help with anything?” Abby brushed up behind me, her arms circling my waist as I made a few notes.

“I don’t think so. But you keep doing what you’re doing and we’re not going to leave until I give you another orgasm.”

“I smell like smoke. That can’t possibly be attractive.”

I dropped the pen on the counter and angled my head so I could see her over my shoulder, “When it’s all over you, it is.”

“Is that so?”

Her hand smoothed across my stomach, making its way to the buttons on my jeans. She palmed my semi-hard-on and I rocked on my feet pushing myself into her hand.

“You’re so hard, Thatcher. Why don’t we close this place the right way?”

“I want to,” I managed, “I don’t have a condom. I’m clean, I just don’t want to get you pregnant.”

“I trust you. But we don’t need one for what I want to do.”

I turned around to face her, “What do you want to do, Abigail?”

“This.”

Her hands were all over me. Caressing my chest, my stomach and over my cock. She undid the buttons of my flannel shirt and slid her hands across my nipples. Then she went lower. She unbuckled my blue jeans and I swore under my breath that I didn’t have a fucking condom.

“You’re not on birth control?”

She pulled my dick out of my underwear and began stroking it.

“No, Thatcher.”

“I think you need to be.”

She tugged my jeans and my shorts down to my knees. Then she went back to her stroking. Licking her lips. Rolling her palm along the head. Slow yanks from the bottom up. Her other hand cupped my nuts and applied the right amount of pressure on them. Holy fuck. Birth control was all I could think about. It was number one on my list. I was making it number one on hers, too.

I envisioned her on her knees in front of me, giving me head, more times than I could count. How gorgeous she would look with her tangles of hair floating around her and those shiny green eyes staring up at me that when she slinked to the floor and looked at me, I stopped breathing.

It was a much better image than I’d thought. Holding my dick with one hand, her fingers spread out an even distance from each other and the way her eyes looked at me as if she was the hungry one, as if this was a treat for her, it seared into my brain like a branding iron.

When her hot mouth went around the head, tentative at first, I was sure I was going to die. She looked up at me and let out a short giggle before she devoured me. My mind was blank as Abby sucked me like a hungry, wild, kitten. She rolled her tongue over my head; she was excellent at applying the right amount of pressure as she stroked me in rhythm with the bobbing of her head.

Un-fucking-believable. I couldn’t stop shifting my hips into her as the tight suction sent me to the back of her mouth, popping it to the head and sucking it back again. She was breaking me down. Quiet, and yet unbelievably powerful, Abigail Layne was breaking me down, breaking me into the man she deserved to have.

Her reverent mouth didn’t stop and I couldn’t help the dirty words that tumbled out of my mouth as she gave me this mind-blowing mouth fuck.

“I forgot this. How horny you’ve always been. And dirty. The way you suck my cock like it’s your lifeline to this world.”

I could feel myself getting closer, my cock swelled and my knees buckled as she sucked the life out of me.

It was sweet fucking torture. She drew out the process, sucking the swollen head until I simply couldn’t take any more. I hauled her to her feet and kissed her wet mouth.

“You should do that more often,” I teased.

“I forgot how damn good that feels.”

“What? I’m the one that got all the excitement.”

“No, really. It felt just as wonderful to me. Turned me on just as much. I love watching you, seeing how good I can make you feel.”

“Let me feel you. Right here. Right now.”

“No. This was all about you. Let’s go home. You can make it all about me tonight when you finish reading the book to me.”

All about me? How did I get this lucky? I was screwed. How had I fallen for her this fast? How had I let her and Thayer get into my heart so quickly?

For most of the drive home I hardly spoke a word. All that consumed me was my grandfather’s will and how I was going to use Thayer as a means to get the money. Abby, too. Would she forgive me if I came clean? It was something she didn’t have to know about at all. I could keep it from her. File it away under “dumb shit I’ve done in my life.” It wouldn’t be the first time. Nope. The first time was when I left them.

What was I going to say? Hey by the way, I thought I could get custody of our son and get money to put the Deer Creek store back together but ever since we started to get to know one another, starting living together and having mind-blowing sex, I decided not to go through with that? Hope you don’t mind. It was a little ripple in my brain but I’m good now. Oh, and I hope that little problem you had with me, that whole trust issue? Hope that’s been resolved, too.

Damn. I sounded like a fool. I couldn’t tell Abby about my grandfather’s will. Of how desperate I was in the beginning and how one flick of her clit got me whipped back into shape. Wow. Officially pussy-whipped. Not in the traditional sense. But fucking close enough.

“Your mom’s calling. Here.” I handed her my phone just as we got into town.

“Hey Mama. Yeah, Thatcher and I just got back to town.”

I couldn’t hear what her mother was asking but I presumed it had to do with picking up Thayer from school. I turned down Main and noticed the firefighters were still lingering around the newspaper. Fire was out and there weren’t as many by-standers as there were this morning before we left for Deer Creek.

“I’ll be there to pick him up. We’re heading to the school now. I’m okay. Thatcher’s been a God-send.”

If she only knew what shit had gone through my mind all day.

“Mom! Thatcher!” Thayer screamed when he saw us waiting by the flagpole just outside the front doors of the school. “Did they put the fire out?”

“They sure did and no one was hurt. That’s a good thing.”

“Yeah. Where’s Daddy? Is he going to come live with us at Thatcher’s house? I miss him.”

“Oh Baby, let’s get in the truck and talk about that.”

“How was school?” I asked, hoping it would derail his train of thought about Adrian as well as the jealousy I was feeling about him not calling me dad.

“Fine. We played tee ball and I always played that with Daddy. Remember, Mama?”

“I remember.”

She buckled him into his seat and I started up the truck and pointed it toward home. Abigail looked over at me with a dreadful expression on her face and my heart went out to her. I opened my hand, palm up and laid it on the seat between us. She rested her hand in mine and began.

“Remember when I told you about your dad moving out?”

“Yeah. But I thought he was coming back?”

“He’s coming back to Lone Star. Remember he had to go away for business? But Dad isn’t coming to stay with us at Thatcher’s house. He has his own house now.”

“When do I get to see him?”

“I have to call him and see. You know how we’ve had a lot of stuff happening with the house fire and now my work?”

“No.”

“No? Well Mama has had a lot of stuff happening and as a result, you have too. But the nice part is we’ve been able to spend time with Thatcher. Hasn’t that been nice?”

“Yes. But I still miss my dad. And Thatcher is afraid of my turtle.”

I interjected, “What? I’m not afraid of Spider-Man.”

“You won’t even pick him up,” Thayer said.

“You won’t either,” I pointed out.

“Both of you are afraid of the turtle. Will it make you miss your dad less if Thatcher holds the turtle when we get home, Babe?”

I glanced sharply at Abby. She looked like the Cheshire cat. She was going to get it. If I had to hold that damn turtle, I was going to find something for her to do that was equally terrifying to her.

“Yeah, Mama. That will make me feel better.”

Damn it. I shivered simply thinking about holding the creepy-looking reptile with his long brown neck and his scaly feet which had four feet of nail growth. Ugh. Nail fungus surely had to be growing on those things.

I pulled the truck into my driveway and slid a glance at Abby. Her lips turned up at the corners and her olive-green eyes sparkled with humor. Totally going to torture her. Wasn’t sure when or how, but she was going to get it. Maybe another bout of tickling would satisfy me.

“Come on, Thatcher. Let’s go hold Spider-Man.”

“I thought you forgot about that.”

“Forgot? We just talked about it.”

Right. I trudged behind the two of them, thinking of all the fires and having to close the Deer Creek store and I told myself that holding a turtle wasn’t so bad. No matter how ugly he was. There could be worse things that I had to deal with.

Abby was too excited about my predicament. She strolled right over to Spider-Man and picked up his bin, “Will you get the screen door?”

Begrudgingly, I slid the door open and the two of us followed her onto the patio where she sat on the edge, having already kicked off her shoes, she rubbed her bare feet along the grass. She sat the bin next to her and looked up at me.

“What?”

“Come and sit. Come on Thayer, you can sit in the grass.”

I sat on the opposite side of the bin, the three of us making a triangle around the turtle.

“You look scared,” Thayer said.

“I’m not. It’s just a turtle.” I glanced at Abby whose left eyebrow was raised in skepticism.

I reached out and trailed my finger along the hard shell. Not so bad. I used both hands and gripped the sides of his shell like I’d watched Abby do. Immediately his little dinosaur feet latched on to my fingers and I cursed under my breath.

His neck stretched out, a little at first. Then it kept going, stretching and stretching until he looked like a Brachiosaurus.

“You can bend your arms,” Abby suggested.

“Is he going to bite me?”

Abby burst out laughing, “He isn’t going to bite you. His neck isn’t that long. Maybe if you stuck your finger near his mouth. Although, I pet his little head and he doesn’t try to bite me.”

“You’re cute. No one wants to bite you.”

She coughed and glanced toward her thighs. Creamy white thighs that were covered in bite marks even though I couldn’t see them due to her outfit.

“Well, in a bad way,” I amended.

I bent my arms like she instructed and tried to relax. His claws were hard against my hands and aside from him being so ugly, it wasn’t as bad as I anticipated. We all sat quietly, birds chirped as they flew in and out of trees, and I could feel the beating on the underside of his shell that Abby always talked about. Small, steady flutters of life.

Amazing.

“I can feel him beating through the bottom of his shell,” I whispered.

“You can?” she beamed. She was happy about this and I wasn’t sure why she was so excited. After all, life went on whether I held this damn reptile or not.

“I want to try. Can I try? Can I try?”

With Abby’s help, I passed Spider-Man off to Thayer who was a bit apprehensive but determined. I surmised watching me hold the turtle and feeling the flutters, he wanted to do the same. A kid after my own heart. Thankfully the turtle didn’t try to escape as Thayer held him, making it easier for him.

“Can you feel the beating?” Abby asked.

“No.”

“Settle down and really try to feel it against your fingertips.”

“I can’t feel it,” he whined. He dropped the turtle into the grass, scaring us all as he jumped up and the turtle wiggled as he found himself upside down on his back.

“Thayer, what the hell are you doing?” I asked as Abby gasped and righted the turtle.

“I can’t feel anything,” he cried.

“It doesn’t mean you can throw him on the ground. You don’t treat an animal that way! Or a reptile. What were you thinking?” I yelled. “You could have hurt him.”

“He doesn’t like me.”

“He doesn’t like you? What are you going to do; just drop everything you don’t like? Treat them like crap.” I was so pissed. How could he do that? If he had no regard for his pet, what was he going to do with other animals?

“Thatcher?” Abby was pulling on my arm. “The turtle is back in his bin, he’s okay.”

“It’s not okay. Children who grow up hurting animals have a tendency to become serial killers. Again, what the hell-”

“THATCHER! Stop!” Abby pulled against my arm, this time whirling me around to her and it was the troubling look, the shock and confusion that was etched into her face, that caused me to stop. Tears streamed down Thayer’s blotchy face and I realized my own heart was beating madly.

My world came crashing down around me. Outside in the evening air, with the two people I loved more than life itself, my world halted.

Ended.

My dad raising his fist to me when he’d caught me sneaking a Tootsie Roll from his home office blurred my vision. I’d been about nine at the time, God, it was amazing how some memories could stay so vivid in one’s brain. I’d been nine and I’d only wanted one. There was no deeper meaning behind it. I knew I wasn’t supposed to have candy without permission, but it was just one. They had looked so good sitting in that candy jar.

He’d been so mad at me. Shaking me and demanding answers from me that I didn’t have. It was a Tootsie Roll, for crying out loud. I was nine. There were no answers I could give him that would have made him not be upset. Thoroughly pissed. The classic example of who he was and what I’d find out was him in the following years. Mean. Spiteful. Now I know his attitude was abusive in certain situations, depending how angry he’d gotten.

Thayer was still crying when I shook Abby off my arm and all but ran into the house, locking myself in my room like a sullen, spoiled brat. There was absolutely no way this could ever work. Pathetic to be playing house for the past three weeks. That’s all this was. Deep down I knew what I was and what I wasn’t. Father material was definitely what I wasn’t. The scared look on Thayer’s face would be forever seared into my mind. How could I ever forget that? Forget that I was the man who’d put it there.

“Thatcher. Open the door.”

My bedroom door rattled as she tried opening it. No. I couldn’t do this anymore. What kind of man was I? The fact that I was all too willing to think I could get “ownership” over Thayer as if he were some dog and then have this uncontrollable temper, proved I was nowhere near ready – near deserving – to be a dad. Whether he was my son or not.

“Open the door.”

“Go away, Abby. I’m in no mood to talk to you.”

“Fine. I’ll sit here until you come out.”

Whatever. It’d be awhile. I could wait until they went to bed. How could I look at Thayer again and forget my outburst? How could he ever love me as a dad? How could he ever want me as one? My chest ached with guilt as I thought about his eagerness earlier this morning at the newspaper. The way he’d casually thrown in that I was a hero. Some hero. It hadn’t stopped me from wanting to be a hero though. At least his hero. It tugged at my heart when he’d said it. No denying that. Even if I knew it wasn’t true, the fact that he thought it was, made me want to be a hero.

So much for all that bullshit.

I threw on some headphones so I wouldn’t have to listen to their banter and footsteps above me. I figured if I could drown out my thoughts by listening to some classic rock, I wouldn’t have to think about the way I’d blown up at my son. I wouldn’t have to think about my childhood. I wouldn’t have to think about my dad.

I definitely wouldn’t have to think about how I was disappointing Abigail. Going in self-destruct mode, I figured this would be a good time to tell her about the will, too. If I was going to let them go, what would it hurt? She was going to move out anyway.

A few hours went by as I sulked alone in my room. Still too angry to make an appearance. I jumped when I felt a dip in my bed. Abigail. How the fuck did she get in here?

She held up a straightened-out paperclip, a smile on her face, mouthing something I couldn’t hear because of the headphones. Irritated and a little proud of her paperclip maneuver, I removed the headphones.

“You’re not welcome in here, Abigail. Go away.”

“Make me.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“Will you relax and hear me out?”

“There is not a goddamn word you can say to me that will make my actions okay.”

“I think there is. It was a natural reaction, Thatcher. He shouldn’t have thrown the turtle down like that. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I lost it, Abby. This is why I can never be a father.”

“You didn’t lose it. Kids do things to parents all the time that make us crazy. Make us want to pull our hair out. Where do you think that saying, “I’ve had it up to here” came from? You aren’t like your dad, Thatcher.”

“I could have been. What if you weren’t there? What would have happened?”

“Are you afraid you would have hit him?”

My silence spoke volumes and she crawled up the bed to straddle me.

“Don’t do this.”

“No, Thatcher. You need to have more confidence.” She tucked her toes beneath my sides so her knees were up and her legs spread apart. She’d since changed into her pajama shorts which were cut short along her thighs exposing all of the love bites I’d given her and I tried hard to avoid glancing down again.

“Look at me,” she said. “I don’t believe for one second that you would ever hit our son. Or me. These past few weeks have shown me that you are not abusive. You’re a parent. At least, you’re learning to be a parent.”

My throat was dry and thick with guilt, self-disgust. I didn’t know what to say because I was like my father. I was his son and I had his genetics in me. Her soft fingers caressed my goatee and I refused to lean into her touch. Refused to grip her hips like I wanted.

“Being a parent is hard. You gave us up once; are you really going to run away again?” Her voice cracked as she asked me this and when I looked into her teary eyes, I realized I didn’t want to run away from her. From them. But I didn’t know how to be a parent. I didn’t know how to not lose it like I did earlier.

“You’re nothing like your dad, okay? I promise you. When I see you with Thayer, playing with the football and taking him for rides on the four-wheeler, a part of my heart thinks we’re going to be a family. Wants to be a family. But having a son and a wife or a girlfriend; it’s not easy.”

“I know it’s not. I admire you every day for the way you’ve raised him.”

“Ask any parent out there, Thatcher; we have our ups and downs. Sometimes we say or do things we later regret or don’t even mean at the time; it doesn’t make you a bad father. It makes you a parent. That’s what parents do. We say things that make us feel bad later.”

“I’m always laid back, Abby. Something in me…just snapped.” I shook my head, “The thing is, I know he didn’t mean what he did. I know he didn’t want to hurt the turtle. It just happened. My dad always used to demand answers from me. Answers I never had because it just was. I was my dad right then, don’t you see?”

“No. I don’t. I see a new parent. You’re not going to change into the Parent of the Year in three weeks. Would you quit being so stubborn?”

We stared at each other for a long time. I still felt like a sulking child. I had good reason though. I loved my dad, but I hated him, too. I didn’t want Thayer to love me and hate me. I wanted him to love me. Period.

“What’s happening between us, Abigail?”

“I don’t know. Good stuff. We’ve been having a wonderful time since we moved in. Haven’t you?”

“The best.”

“Thayer needs you in his life. You’re his father, Thatcher. His real father. You have to get over your fear of being a bad parent. Let me help you. Let’s parent together.” She ran her hand through my hair, “I want to tell him you’re his father but I refuse to do that if you aren’t going to stick around.”

“Like you be the good parent and I’ll be the bad parent?” I joked.

“Funny. No, like if you want to keep getting into my panties, you’re going to have to man up. Be a dad or no panties for you.”

I quirked an eyebrow at her, “Have you always been so demanding?”

“Only when I need to be. Now, panties or no panties?”

“In almost every situation, I prefer no panties, but this…this will require me to reassess my preferences.”

“Are you hard?” she asked in disbelief as she wiggled her bottom into me.

“I can’t help it. Look at the way you’re sitting on me. I can practically see your pussy.”

“Unbelievable. Here I thought you were being too hard on yourself and you’re thinking about sex?”

“I wasn’t thinking about sex until you brought up your panties. Where is Thayer now? In bed?”

“No. My mom came and picked him up. I knew this would require my undivided attention to convince you not to run away from us again.”

“I didn’t run away. I realized I didn’t have what you and Thayer needed, so I stepped aside.”

“That’s bullshit. I’ve been telling my heart not to fall for you because I wasn’t sure you’d be able to stick around for the long haul, and I pretty much called it.”

“I thought I could handle this. You. Him. I’m still not sure I can.”

“Instead of running away this time, will you stick around and give us a chance? Please. I’ll let you into my panties…”

I flipped her on to her back and nestled in between her thighs making sure to rub my extremely hard cock against the seam of her little shorts as I breathed in the smell of her hair. My shower gel. My shampoo. On her. And it was fucking good.

“I’ll try, Abigail,” I croaked. “I’ll really try.”

“Good. Don’t let me down this time. Don’t let us down. Be the man and father I know you are.”

I ignored the tightness in my chest as her green eyes bored into mine, seemingly looking into my soul. Looking as if she believed in me, much the way Thayer did when he said I was a hero.