Chapter Fifteen
"I never really wanted to kill her. I just wanted her to be defeated."
"Well, look where that got us. She's dead."
"Wait, I think I can feel Wyn."
Three voices, all familiar. A man, two women.
"Wyn? Are you there?"
That's Flora, sweet, lively Flora. Spring.
"I'm... what's happening?" My thoughts are slow, far too slow to make sense of it all.
"We're back in the dark room. For the third time today, I think. We were here twice yesterday."
"Wait... what..."
I still can't form a coherent thought. Everything is so confusing.
"There was an explosion at your Palace, do you remember that?" Dewi's voice is surprisingly gentle. "That was two days ago. You've been unconscious until now, maybe you still are. I've been getting hourly reports from your assistants, but right now... well, they can't really tell me anything while we're in here."
"Two days?"
It feels wrong. That can't be true. Unconscious for two days? But I'm a Goddess. I should have healed by now.
The man clears his throat. Angus. "I'm so sorry."
"You should be," Dewi seethes, her voice no longer calm at all. "She's your ally."
"Was," he grumbles. "Was."
"Wait, you're no longer...?" At least, I almost manage to ask a proper question this time.
"No. I'm not." He takes a deep, loud breath. "I didn't know she was going to attack Beira. I had no idea. Just like she hadn't told me about Flora and Fav. I'm sure there were many other things she hasn't informed me about."
"You're on our side?" I ask weakly and his assent filters through to me.
"Yes, I am. All four of us are united now. I've shared all I know about the Morrigan's battle plans with Dewi and Flora, although Flora is still a prisoner."
"Not much longer, if I have anything to say about it," Dewi says confidently. "I've got a plan to break you out of there."
I've missed so much. Angus, on our side. Flora about to be rescued.
"Dewi... your mother?"
A wave of happiness streams through the dark room. "We've talked. I know she's my mum, I can feel the connection. She was told I'd died on the way to Earth."
"I hadn't expected to suddenly have a step-daughter," Angus chuckles. "Now we're not only allies, but family."
I'm not sure if I can trust him. He's been the enemy for so long and he's suddenly changed his mind, just like that? Wait, he said something at the beginning. Something dreadful and terrible that I've pushed from my mind.
"What exactly happened?" I ask and silence falls.
"You teleported right into an explosion," Dewi finally says. "You got torn apart. Nobody thought you'd survive, but... ehm... well, it's a bit gruesome, but you grew new limbs. The ones you lost, I mean, not completely new ones. Don't worry, you still have two arms and two legs, except that half of them are brand new. Maybe more than half, more like three quarters."
I shudder, unable to believe what she's saying. It has to be a joke. You don't just grow body parts when you lose them. Not even Gods do that. Until now. Until me.
"I assume it was the Morrigan?"
"Oh yes. The first bomb was to show you what she can do, the second to actually do the deed."
I begin to shiver. "What deed?"
Again, silence.
"I'm so sorry," Flora whispers. "Beira is dead."
* * *
I don't want to wake up. The dark room has disappeared and so have the three Gods, but I'm not ready to return to the living. Beira, dead. My mother. Now I've lost both my mums. My father is the last remaining family I have. How am I supposed to function, to fight, with so much sadness in my heart? So much grief. It's filling me, my veins, my bones, not letting me move.
I can't deal with this, I just can't. How much sadness can one heart feel before it dies?
Not that my heart can die. I need to start accepting that I'm immortal now, and even less killable than other Gods. I grew a new body. People just don't do that, not even in the Realms.
Beira is dead.
I'm alive.
It's so not fair. She's the Mother of Gods, the very first Goddess of them all. How can she just disappear? It shouldn't be possible. It's wrong.
Did I perhaps contribute to it? Could she have died if I hadn't been crowned? Maybe the universe thought she was no longer needed now that there was a new Queen.
The universe. The balance. The seasons. They can all go screw themselves. I'm done with all the heartbreak. From now on, my life is going to be good. I'm going to kill the Morrigan and her demons, and then I'm going to turn this Realm into a paradise without suffering. Not for me, not for any of my subjects. The Winter Realm is going to be a place of peace, of happiness.
No more war. Just this one, final battle. And I'm done waiting for the battle to come to me. I'm going to bring war to the Morrigan and end her once and for all.
I wake with a grim smile. A body is warming mine. I let my magic explore the room before I open my eyes. Four people. Arc is the one in my bed, holding me close as if he's scared I might disappear. Theodore is sitting in a corner, half asleep. The other two are guards, standing by the door, wide awake and ready to react to any threat.
I don't know this room. It's neither my bedroom nor the infirmary. I push my magic out further. We're underneath the main Palace in an area I haven't explored yet. The walls here are thick and ancient, gleaming with a strange substance that repels my magic. It's possible for me to push through it, but it's not easy. They must have put me in the safest place they could think of. An area where magic is inhibited, so enemies couldn’t use it against me while I was defenceless. Clever.
There's a smaller room beside this one, and inside are my other three Guardians. Crispin is sleeping. I'm glad; his aura is faint with exhaustion. Storm is awake, walking up and down, brooding. Frost is sitting by Crispin's side, his aura as restless as that of his brother.
I gently pull on my bond to them and watch as they all jump up and run out of their room and into mine. Storm commands the guards and the healer to leave and they immediately do as he asks.
The arms around me tighten.
"Welcome back," Arc whispers, before loosening his grip and disappearing from my bed. Why is he leaving me alone?
Crispin is the first to approach me. Magic pours from his hands as he examines me for injuries.
"Wyn? Can you hear me?"
"Loud and clear." My voice is surprisingly strong, not as weak as I'd expected. For someone who just regrew her body, I sound pretty good.
"How are you feeling?" His magic is still examining me, but all I can feel is a slight tickling sensation.
I check my body for pain. There's a dull ache in my right arm, but that's about it. I can't imagine I was seriously injured just two days ago.
"Pretty good," I reply. "What's the situation?"
They look at each other. The elephant in the room. No, the dead Goddess in the room.
"I know," I say tonelessly. I can't afford to break down now. "I know she's dead. I also know about the explosion, and that Angus is on our side now. I had a little conference call with the other three season Gods."
"You know about Bridget too, I suppose?" Storm asks.
"That she's Dewi's mother and supporting us? Yes."
"This is weird," Frost mutters. I tend to agree. I'd love to still be sickly in bed and surrounded by my loving, caring Guardians, but there's no time. I can feel the change in the air. The storm is about to come and hit us hard.
"Angus says the Morrigan might not be aware that he's no longer on her side," Storm reports. "She's ordered him to get his troops ready, and he's going to pretend nothing's changed for a while longer. Only his highest generals will be briefed, and that only just before the battle. Hopefully, it will be a surprise to her when Angus's forces suddenly turn and fight the Morrigan's demons."
"Is everyone ready? Our allies?"
Storm nods. "Yes, they're all waiting for the signal. Angus has been trying to stall the Morrigan so you had time to heal. I don't think she's going to wait much longer though. Her demons are no longer staying hidden and they're amassing by the Gates."
"A distraction," I mutter. "She can build her own Gates, remember? She'll create one somewhere in the centre of this Realm and invade while we're watching the existing Gates."
"How do you..." Storm is speechless. Wow, the day I got to see that.
"Something has changed. My mind is different, More open. I can feel more."
"I'm nae sure I understand," Arc says, his aura fluttering with uncertainty. "What's changed?"
"My powers. My connection to the magic around me. I'm not sure if it was the coronation or the death of my mother, maybe both. I know things I didn't before. My mind has grown."
Only now that I put it into words do I understand the gravity of the new sensation. I'm even stronger now. I have knowledge, ancient knowledge, that is just waiting to be explored and made use of. Like how the Morrigan has acted in the past. How she thinks. How I created her.
Wait.
I didn't create her.
"My mother's memories," I whisper. "I can access some of her memories."
"That's crazy," Frost exclaims, but immediately adds, "and useful."
I try and locate the memories that aren't mine, but they're merged with my own. They have a slightly different taste to them, but it's almost imperceptible. I will need time to sort out what's hers and what's mine. This is going to be confusing as hell.
I think about the Morrigan and new memories appear. I smile at one in particular.
"The Morrigan was created as a warrior. That's how she thinks, in terms of violence and destruction. She also assumes that she's the only one to be like this. She doesn't expect us to take the first move."
"And we didn't plan to do that," Storm says slowly. "Are you saying we should?"
"Nobody knows that I'm awake. Her spies will not have been able to tell her otherwise... yet. She thinks we're weak and she's going to attack soon. Angus might be the only reason why she hasn't yet. We need to be faster than her."
"As soon as we tell our allies, she'll know," Storm points out. "She has spies everywhere."
"Oh yes, she does." I smile. "But she's not in their heads. I can be."
They all stare at me.
"I can feel the Gods in the Palace above," I explain. "I know I can talk to them telepathically. I also feel which ones are on our side. There's at least one who isn't, and two who aren't quite sure."
"Who?" Storm asks immediately, his aura darkening.
I concentrate my magic on the minds that stand out. They're like dark spots standing out amongst all the white, bright minds of the Gods. Guardians are more of a silver hue, and there's one pink dot that makes me smile. Blaze.
"Saturn is a traitor," I tell them. I've not talked to that God in person yet, even though I've seen him around. "Hades is undecided. His sister has persuaded him to join us, but he sees it as a lost cause. He'll turn as soon as he feels himself in danger. The other one I don't know... wait, I do. Aeolus, the God of Wind."
"Aeolus?" Storm asks in bewilderment. "He's been really supportive in the past. He's not very powerful and his Realm is tiny, but I never doubted his commitment."
I shrug. "He's scared. He might just need a little pep talk. Give me a moment."
I concentrate and block out the people surrounding me, focussing on the bright light of the God. He's going to get a bit of a shock.
"Aeolus!" I call in his mind, hoping that my instincts didn't deceive me about my new skills.
He shrieks internally and I have to suppress a smile. He's rather skittish.
"Your... Your Majesty?"
"Indeed. How are your battle preparations going?"
"Good, great, everything is ready." He reminds me of a hamster that's running around in his wheel, scared to jump out of it.
"We will win this fight, Aeolus," I say, showing him my conviction through our connection. "I know it's easy to doubt that we'll be able to win against hordes of demons, but we're strong together. Shall I tell you a secret?"
I assess his mind while talking to him. Will he pass on anything I say to the Morrigan? No, he's just scared, he doesn't actually want to support her. If he bows out, he's just going to crawl back to his own Realm and hope for the best.
"Your Majesty?"
"We have new allies. Powerful allies who will be a surprise to everyone."
"The dragons?"
I smile. "No, even more powerful than the dragons. You'll see soon, but until then, I need you to trust that we'll win. I need you to believe in our cause. We all need to pull together but if we do, we'll be victorious."
His mind is getting stronger. He's made his decision.
"I'll be in touch soon," I say as a farewell. "Ready your forces."
I pull back and open my eyes again. The guys are still in the exact same position; no time at all seems to have passed. This kind of mind communication seems to be the same as how I talk to the other three season Gods.
"He's going to support us," I announce. "Let's deal with Hades when the time comes. Saturn... let's use him for our benefit. If we feed him some wrong information, he'll carry it right to the Morrigan, and she's likely to believe a God more than her other spies.
"Good plan." Storm's aura is glowing with pride. "You're dealing with all of this really well."
My mother's death, he means? No, I'm not dealing with it at all. It's pushed away into a tiny, dark corner of my mind and that's where it will stay for now. I need my emotions to stay clear of it until I've succeeded in my current mission.
Killing the Morrigan.
Destroying her once and for all.
I push back the duvet and sit up, frowning at my lack of clothes.
"Your skin was healing," Crispin explains. "We didn't want it to be in contact with fabric that it might get stuck to."
I chuckle. "Nice excuse for having me naked."
"I wish we had time to enjoy the view," Frost sighs. "But you don't look like you're about to lie back down and let us make you feel good."
He's right. I wish I could, but I know I can't. There's so much to do.
"Soon," I tell him and send some loving thoughts along the bond connecting us. "Everything will be over soon and then we'll lock ourselves into my bedroom and ignore the world for a few days."
"Weeks, please," Arc demands. "Or months. We need ya."
"I need you too," I reply sadly. "Being Queen is so annoying."