“It’s good to be home,” Ada sighs as she lets go of my arm. I’ve teleported us into my private quarters so we can have a proper chat. Her men are with her, immediately looking around the room as if they're expecting a threat. After all they've been through, it's no wonder they're a little skittish.

"You better stay here until I've announced that you're no longer wanted for treason," I say with a grin. "I don't want any vigilantes attacking you, thinking they're doing it for the good of the crown."

"Yes, good idea," one of her men growls. I can never tell them apart. They're triplets and with their uniforms, they look far too similar. Right now, those uniforms are dirty and ripped in places.

"Storm, would you mind looking after these gentlemen? I have a few things to discuss with Ada."

His aura swirls like he's about to protest, but he nods and takes them outside. The dragon prisoner follows - no, wait, he's no longer a prisoner. I guess he's an ally now. Hopefully, his craziness really has vanished.

"Want us to stay?" Arc asks but I shake my head.

"No, I want some girl time."

"That sounds like fun," Crispin snickers. "If you want some boy time after, we'll be in our quarters. Probably. Unless someone finds us and gives us something to do." He sighs. "No rest for the wicked."

They leave and I take a deep breath when we're finally alone. "How are you?" I ask Ada carefully, cursing my strange eyes that don't let me see her expression.

"It's strange to be back here," she says after a moment of hesitation. "At one point, I didn't think I'd ever be able to return."

"You've been through a lot, but I'm glad to have you back. I will need to have a chat with Gwain to discuss how to announce that you're back, but before you start work again, I want you to recover."

"I don't need...," she protests, but I cut her off.

"Yes, you do. You need some rest and proper food. I think you deserve some downtime, and so do your men. You all look like you'd collapse as soon as you're sent into battle."

"Your Majesty," she replies sullenly.

"Oh, stop it. I only want the best for you." I want to hug her, but right now, I need to be the Princess rather than the friend. If Ada could, she'd immediately go back to her duties, but I can't have her do that. She needs rest.

"But first, I have a few questions, if you don't mind."

She shrugs. "Go ahead."

"Can we trust the dragons?" It's a loaded question, but I need to know. Ada will be able to give me a better answer than my advisors.

"Dewi is an ungrateful bitch, but she wants revenge, so yes, I think we can," Ada replies. "And she's got Agierth to keep her in check. That one's quite a nice dragon and one of the few who managed to fight the Morrigan, if just a little. I can't promise you that they'll stay in touch after we defeat the Morrigan, but I think we can count on them for now."

I smile. Finally some good news. It seems that the strange trip to the Dragon Realm was worth it after all, despite all the weirdness.

"It's good to have you back." Again, I have to stop myself from hugging her. I'm all giddy and excited, and I'm not quite sure why. Probably my hormones, or my weird Goddess powers. They keep doing strange stuff to me. I clear my throat. "Hold my hand, I'll get you to your quarters the quick way."

"How come you can teleport now?" she asks in wonder, as if she didn't quite realise that I already transported them back from the Dragon Realm in this way.

I sigh. "It's a long story."

My mother's condition hasn't improved at all. She's as pale as the bed sheets surrounding her frail body, and her cheeks seem sunk in even further than I remember. She's the only person whose face I can see, yet I don't want to look at her. She's changed too much, she's nothing but a shadow of the powerful Goddess she used to be. And it's all my fault. I made her use up all her powers. I behaved like a child and she's the one who's suffering for it.

"Beira?" I whisper, sitting down by her bedside. I wish there was something I could do. I have all these new powers now, but they're no use to me. I can't heal my mother.

She opens her eyes, but even that looks like a struggle for her.

"Wyn."

Her voice is less than a whisper, a weak breath. How did it come to this?

"Do you have news?" she asks, her eyes fluttering shut again.

I take her hand and squeeze it reassuringly. As if that will solve anything. It's more to give me comfort rather than her.

"The dragons will fight on our side," I tell her. "And Ada has returned. She never abandoned us, she left to help the dragon prisoner free his people from the Morrigan's influence. It's a long story, but for now, we have new allies."

I don't want to take up too much of my mother's energy by telling her the full line of events. It seems hard enough for her to stay awake.

"I'm proud of you," she whispers. "You've achieved something I haven't managed for centuries. The dragons have always been elusive."

"Their leader, Dewi, said she was a Goddess, but she didn't feel like other Gods. Do you know about her?"

My mother frowns ever so slightly. "She's not one of mine. Maybe Angus made her, but I've never heard of a Dragon Goddess."

"Strange," I mutter, more to myself than to her. "She's not making any sense."

"Wyn." My mother suddenly squeezes my hand, making me turn my full attention to her again.

"You need to become Queen."

I sigh. "Not that again. No way. You'll be better once we've defeated Angus, and then you won't need me anymore."

"I won't get better," she says slowly. "My time is over."

I shake my head. "I'm not listening. Once winter comes again, you'll be just like you were before."

"No, I can feel it. I won't recover, Wyn, no matter how much you want it. Even if I get stronger, I'll never get back to my old strength. I won't be able to lead my people. I won't be the Queen they deserve."

A tear is trickling from the corner of her eye and I look away. Beira doesn't cry. She's the Winter Queen, the epitome of cool composure. She doesn't show her emotions, ever.

"You need to be crowned before the battle begins." Her grip on my hand is growing weaker, but her voice has a trace of her former authority. "We will all die if you don't become Queen."

She falls silent and I stare at the floor, her words echoing in my head. She won't get better. She won't be Beira again. She'll stay this weak, frail woman, not much more than human.

"There needs to be a balance," she suddenly whispers, just when I think she's gone back to sleep. "Remember what I told you. Without balance, all Realms will crumble. I can already feel it happening. Focus, and you'll feel it too."

I sit by her side for a while longer, even though she's asleep. I think I know how to feel for the balance like she said, but I'm scared to do it. If I sense an imbalance, that will mean that I will have to do something about it.

I don't want to be Queen. I don't want to be a Goddess, either. All I want is to go back to being Wyn, live with my Guardians, have a quiet life without death and demons. I want my mum and my mother by my side, and a father who isn't traumatised and grieving.

I never imagined my life could turn into this. Chaos. War. Despair. Doubt. An eternal absence of hope. And now, they want me to be Queen and steer them through the darkness. What if I fail? What if I get them all killed? I could never live with that. There's been too much death already. Mum. Chesca. Aodh. All the soldiers we've lost.

But for it to end, we need to fight, and my mother is right. She can't lead us in the state she's in.

I run my hands through my long hair, wishing there was a simple answer. Why can't life be simple, just once? I think I've dealt with my share fair of heartache and trouble, why can't it be someone else's turn now?

No, that's not a way a Princess should think. I should be happy to take on the responsibility and suffering that comes with my role, as long as it means my people are safe. But am I ready to be that person? Can I put all my own worries to one side and completely focus on what's good for my Realm?

Already, I don't have enough time to spend with my Guardians. I bet that as Queen, I'd have even less. I miss them, I miss our closeness, our banter. I can feel them through our bond, but that's no substitute for having them in the room with me.

Urgh. My head hurts with all the thoughts swirling around my mind.

The balance... I remember what my mother told me when I'd first arrived in the Realm. How she and Angus share their rule of the world, how he makes plants grow and thrive in the summer, and how Beira give them their well-earned rest during the winter months. Nature has got used to the rhythm that they've maintained over millennia, and if that balance was to be disturbed, all of creation might be affected. She'd said that magic might no longer exist in a world without the precarious balance that she'd fought for despite Angus trying to extend his powers. She's fought him before, many times, and each time, she won, but she never took away his Realm and his powers. He's needed for the balance, and even now, I know that we can't defeat him completely, only drive him back. Who we need to defeat is the Morrigan, who doesn't seem to care about the damage this war between Winter and Summer could cause. She'd probably enjoy it. If she lives in the Demon Realms now, I bet she'd be happy with a world of darkness and despair.

I look at Beira again. Her lover, my father, was killed by Angus's soldiers, and yet she still tried to keep the peace. I'm not sure I'd be able to do that if someone killed my men. Scratch that, I certainly wouldn't. I'd want to make Angus suffer in the worst possible way.

Yet another reason why I'd make a terrible Queen. I'm too emotional, too human. Maybe if I'd grown up here in the Realms, it could have been different, but I didn't.

To Queen or not to Queen... I smirk at my own bad joke. Everybody is telling me to do it. The Council, Tamara, even my father. And my Guardians. This is the first time they're not supporting my decision. Storm is particularly adamant that I should take my mother's place. But they're part of this Realm, no wonder they think like everybody here. Am I the only one who can see what a bad idea it is?

I'm not the right person for the job.

I sigh. Sitting here lamenting my fate won't do any good. I better get going, there's a Council to inform about the dragons, and I'm pretty sure there's a mountain of documents to sign waiting for me on my desk.