I wasn’t sure why, but I was a tad nervous as the elevator rose up to Justin’s penthouse. Maybe it was because of this being our first actual, official date since last weekend, since we’d decided to give this relationship thing a go. Maybe because I was worried about Faye, like I always was when I left her with a sitter. Maybe it was because Justin was about the most perfect man I’d ever met, and part of me was convinced that this was all a dream.

Maybe it was all of these things, all working together to tie my stomach up into a small, hard knot.

The elevator doors opened with a gentle “ding,” revealing Justin’s massive penthouse apartment. The place looked bigger than I remembered from the shoot—probably due to it not being filled with crew and equipment.

Justin stood leaning against his kitchen bar, his demeanor the picture of effortless cool. He was dressed in another one of his button-up-shirt-slacks outfits, the shirt a crisp white and the pants a dark blue.

“Hey,” he said, that slightly cocky smile on his face that I was starting to fall hard for. “Welcome.”

I stepped into the room, noting the soft jazz music playing on the stereo. It reminded me of the music at the speakeasy club we went to the night we met, and I wondered if that was deliberate.

“Hey,” I said, tucking my hair behind my ear on my right side. I noticed there were delicious smells in the air—simmering butter, cooking meat, and steaming vegetables. I breathed in deeply, letting the scents play on my senses. “I smell dinner,” I said.

“And it smells good?” Justin asked.

“Smells amazing.”

“I have to admit,” he said, stepping toward a small glass tray of liquor bottles and glasses. “I’m not the best cook in the city. But I can make a mean steak. So I hope you’re the carnivorous type.”

“I am,” I said. “And I know you are.”

I flashed him a playful smile, letting him know that the subtext was most certainly intended.

“Something to drink?” he asked.

“Um, a vodka tonic would be perfect,” I said. “With a lemon twist.”

“That I can do.”

He set to work on the drink, making a whiskey on the rocks for himself. I approached him as he prepared them, closing my eyes and taking a slow, secret whiff of his scent.

I loved the way he smelled. I wasn’t sure if it was cologne or his natural musk or what, but I couldn’t get enough.

“Want to have these on the balcony?” he asked. “Nice night, nice view.”

“Let’s do it.”

He handed me my drink, and we headed outside. Just as he said, the view was amazing, and the weather was perfectly mild. We were getting into late summer and had yet to have a chilly day. I resolved to savor perfect evenings like this while they lasted.

I sipped my drink as I leaned over the balcony, taking in the sight of the city below. We had to be about two-dozen stories up, and the city looked so small from this height.

“When you’re up this high, New York actually looks kind of peaceful,” I said.

“You’re right about that,” he said. “No blaring car horns, no people yelling at each other, no ambulances screaming down the road.”

“Oh my God,” I said. “The ambulances. I’ve lived here my whole life, and I still haven’t gotten used to how loud they are.”

We both chuckled. When our laughter died down, I stood up on my tip-toes and planted a soft kiss on his gorgeous lips.

“It’s good to see you,” I said.

“You too,” he said, putting his arm around me.

I leaned in and rested my head against his chest, the fabric of his shirt cool and soft. It felt so good that I didn’t want to move. But I took my head away, stealing one more kiss before turning my attention back to the roads below.

“How’s Faye?” he asked.

“Great,” I said. “She’s with my friend Julia tonight. She’s got a kid about Faye’s age, so they’re perfect playdate partners.”

“Awesome,” he said. “Is Julia a…”

He let his voice trail off, then an expression appeared on his face that suggested he realized he’d asked a somewhat personal question.

Or, at least, brought attention to a sensitive subject.

“No,” I said. “She’s not a single mom. Her man stuck around.”

He shook his head.

“I still can’t believe you got ditched like that,” he said. “Guy’s freaking scum. Sorry if I’m speaking out of turn.”

“You’re not,” I said. “You can call him a jerk all you want—I’ll agree with you all the way.”

Justin looked away for a moment, as if trying to decide if he really wanted to say what he had on his mind.

“Can I…can I ask what happened between the two of you?” he asked. “Or is that too personal?”

Normally, talking about Brad and me would be too personal of a subject. But with Justin right now, I felt…different. I felt like I could talk to him about anything.

“Sure,” I said. “It’s not much of a story though, I’m afraid. His name was Brad, and we’d been together for a couple of years. Met back at work not long after I started there. He was barely anywhere on the ladder, some low-level guy that I fell hard for.

“Things…seemed great. We hit it off right away, both of us moving up in the company at the same time. Eventually, he made a lateral move to this company based in Jersey, which meant he was making more money, but had a terrible commute. But we were dedicated to making it work.”

“Then you got pregnant.”

“Then I got pregnant, yeah. I was scared and excited and thrilled when I found out—mostly scared. But I had a great boyfriend, right? I was thinking that he’d be happy too.”

“And how’d he take it?”

“To start with, great. He seemed as excited as I was. But almost immediately I started to get the impression that something was…off. He spent more time at work and was distant when he was with me. I asked, and he said he was focusing on working, making sure we’d have enough money to raise the baby. And I noticed he never mentioned marriage. I mean, I’m not one of those women who’s desperate to get married, but it seemed like the next logical step, right?”

“Right.”

I couldn’t believe how open I was being about this. Aside from Julia and my parents, no one else had gotten the full story of Faye’s dad.

“Then one day, a few weeks after I told him I was pregnant, he never came home from work. I was nervous at first, worried that he’d gotten into an accident or something terrible like that. Then later that night, I found a note on the bed. Brad had written that he couldn’t do it, that he couldn’t be a dad. Said he didn’t ‘have it in him,’ whatever that meant.”

“Are you freaking kidding me?” asked Justin. “Left with just a note?”

“Mhmm,” I said. “Changed his number, left no forwarding address—nothing.”

“You ever find out what happened to him?”

“Yep. At first I wanted to pretend that he didn’t exist, but eventually, my curiosity got the better of me. Turns out that he shacked up with some girl from his office—one who wasn’t a mom, and wasn’t pregnant, of course. And that was that.”

Justin shook his head in total disbelief.

I continued. “I was left alone, pregnant and without a partner or any financial help.”

“This is all infuriating to hear,” he said. “What I’d do to that jackass…”

He grit his teeth, and I could tell he was genuinely mad.

“It’s okay,” I said. “Thanks for having my back, of course, but it’s done. And it’s not like I’d want him back anyway. When he left me like that, he showed me who he really was. Even if he’d stuck around and done the right thing, this all would’ve come out at some point, somehow. Better I found out about it earlier.”

“That’s one way to look at it, I suppose,” Justin said. But I could tell he was still angry thinking about Brad and what he’d done.

I sipped my drink, but only ice fell into my mouth.

“Make me another?” I asked, hoping to take both of our minds off the subject.

“Sure,” he said, seeming to have calmed down. “Food should be about ready, too. Go ahead and have a seat inside. I’ll get everything ready.”

“You need some help?” I asked.

“Nah,” he said with a smile. “What kind of host makes his guest do any of the work? No, your job tonight is to relax and enjoy.”

So, that’s what I did. Fresh drink in hand, I took a seat at the kitchen bar and watched Justin finish cooking. We chatted as he worked, the conversation about lighter, more fun topics. Before too long the meals were ready, and he brought everything to the table.

The dinner was excellent, of course, and paired with a delicious bottle of wine from the case Justin had brought back from the vineyard. Dessert was some lovely custard tarts that he’d had delivered from a local bakery. By the time the meal was done, I was happy and satisfied.

I insisted on helping Justin clean up, and when that was all taken care of, the two of us cuddled together on the couch.

“Is this…something you’re cool with?” I asked “You and me? I know it’s only been a week, but I was to make sure we’re on the same page.”

I could sense my insecurity creeping into my words. Justin was the first man that I’d even gone out on a date with since Brad. And I was only now beginning to see the effects of the wounds that Brad had left me with. I half-expected Justin to change his mind on a dime and decide he was done with me.

“Of course, it is,” he said. “I’m not a man who makes decisions lightly.”

He leaned in and kissed me softly. It wasn’t long before the kiss turned to something more, which led to us taking it to the bedroom.

In the naked, hazy, post-coital bliss, I curled up close to Justin. Whatever he wanted to do, it was out of my hands. I was going to have to trust him, as hard as that sounded.

In the morning, he made me a delicious breakfast of French omelets, hash browns, bacon, and coffee.

“I would’ve cooked,” I said. “Breakfast is something I actually like making.”

He flashed me a warm grin over his meal.

“I seem to remember promising you a French omelet the morning after the first night we spent together. Least I can do is make you one now.”

His words warmed me. He seemed to want to do right by what had happened before—it was a good sign.

“You…want to stay another night?” he asked. “I’ve got a little work to do this afternoon, but then I have the rest of the day free.”

The idea sounded tempting, but it wouldn’t work.

“Sorry,” I said. “Got to get back to the little lady. I don’t feel right about leaving her alone two nights in a row so soon after our weekend away.”

He nodded and took another bite of his hash browns.

The thought occurred to me that I could invite him over to my place, but that would mean not only spending the evening with me, but with Faye.

Sure, Justin did take a shine to her during the show, but that very well could’ve been for the cameras.

I realized at that moment that I now had two different lives, one of being a mother, the other that of a lover. And fear began to grip me as I realized just how hard these two worlds were going to be to reconcile.