Days passed. In front of me, the oversized TV played reruns of some sci-fi show that I’d seen a million times before. An open pizza box with a few slices remaining was on the coffee table in front of me, a few empty beer bottles next to it. I was dressed in sleeping pants and a plain white T-shirt—the same thing I’d worn for the last couple of days.

On the TV, the captain of the spaceship was going on about some kind of alien infestation in the engine room. I wasn’t sure—my eyes were glazed over, and the TV show was little more than a loud blur off in the distance. I reached forward and picked up a slice of pizza, bringing it to my mouth and taking a bite without even really thinking about it.

After that, I picked up one of the beer bottles, only to find that it was empty. Letting out an annoyed grunt, I tossed the pizza slice back into the box and heaved myself up off the couch, making my way to the kitchen. Once there, I started the quest for booze.

A red bottle on the counter caught my eye. My interest piqued, I headed over to it and picked it up with a sloppy swipe. But my stomach tensed when I looked at the label.

Duck wine. The wine Heather and I had bonded over.

I sighed, figuring booze was booze. After fumbling around with the wine key, I soon had it open, pouring myself a full mug. I gave it a sip, and it tasted…fine.

In reality, it was a pretty okay wine—nothing amazing, but about what you’d expect from a fifteen-dollar bottle. As I swished it around in my mouth, however, I realized instantly why it was that I’d thought it was so special.

It was because of Heather.

It was sharing it with her, sipping together at the vineyard during our trip up Long Island, sitting curled up next to each other as we watched the sunset, my arm wrapped around her delicate shoulders.

I looked over the mess that I’d let the penthouse become in Heather’s absence. It’d taken only two days for it to become a total bachelor pad with food containers here and there, empty beer bottles, and nothing but bad movies and video games on the TV.

I hated it. I missed Heather. I missed snuggling up to her first thing in the morning. I missed the way she tasted, and I missed the way she smelled.

I missed Faye’s giggle. I missed the way her big blue eyes lit up when she saw me, the way she reached her chubby little fingers out for me when she saw me in the morning.

My life without those two was as flavorless as the pizza. But I’d sent them away, all because I didn’t know how to handle it when I’d received the most important news of my life. I could’ve been there, made it all better with a few simple words: It’s okay—it’s all going to be okay. I love you.

Love. The word had been in the back of my mind for some time, but I’d been afraid to say it, afraid of what it’d mean to breathe it and give it life. One word would make everything change for me, and I was scared to do it.

Grumbling, I finished the wine and tossed the mug into the sink. I looked over the penthouse, realizing that I had it all. But without love, it was nothing.

What could I do? When Heather opened herself up to me, she told me that Faye’s father had let her down and showed his true colors when he decided to leave. Sure, I hadn’t done anything so final to Faye, but what else had I done other than show what kind of man I was? She had told me the news and I panicked, acted like a scared, stupid kid.

I couldn’t imagine her forgiving me. Not only had I burned her, but I’d also burned her in the same way she’d been hurt before. I couldn’t imagine her forgiving me.

Well, if I couldn’t have Heather, I could at least have booze.

I snatched up the wine bottle and trudged back to the living room, where I plopped down onto the couch and prepared myself for a night of booze and pizza and bad TV. I’d told my executives that I’d be taking a few days off, and I planned to take advantage of it.

Right as I attempted to get back into the show, however, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I took it out and saw that it was Andrew. Was he in the city? If so, maybe a booze-soaked night out would help me forget my troubles.

Not likely, but worth a shot.

“What’s up?” I asked before taking a pull of wine.

“Hey, buddy!” he said. “Just wanted to see what you thought about the show so far?”

I was confused.

“What are you talking about?”

“Uh, the show we made together?”

I shook my head, bringing the memory back. It seemed like I’d done the reality show years ago.

“Yeah, I know. But what about it?”

“Tonight’s the premiere!” he said. “You don’t remember?”

I guess I didn’t. I’d been so wrapped up in Heather that I’d almost forgotten about everything else.

“Um, just been really busy,” I said, searching around for the remote.

Once I located it, I turned off the sci-fi junk and searched around the listings. Sure enough, there it was—Baby in the Penthouse.

“Too busy for your starring role?” he asked. “Anyway, doesn’t matter. We’re on our first commercial break now, and the reviews are killer. Internet buzz is out of control. They love you, they love Faye, and they love the hell out of Heather. She’s got something, man—I mean that.”

He didn’t have to tell me twice.

“And on top of that, ratings are awesome. If we finish strong, I’m thinking we’ll have a winner on our hands. And that means for us both—good press means your baby line’s going to be flying off the shelf. Every mom’s going to want to be dressed like Heather, and they’re going to want their baby dressed like Faye.”

I didn’t care about any of that. All I wanted was to see Heather and Faye again.

“Okay,” I said. “I’m going to watch. Let me know if there are any new developments.”

“You bet, J,” he said. “And get excited—this is going places.”

I hung up and tossed the phone onto the couch, eagerly waiting for the show to return.

Soon it did, the title screen imposed over a shot of the New York skyline, and then my penthouse building. The shot changed to one of inside my penthouse, during the part when Heather first arrived.

Damn, she looked beautiful. I knew right away what Andrew had seen, what everyone watching was seeing. Heather had effortless, radiant beauty that made your eyes lock onto the screen. Even through my fog of junk food and booze, my mind was crystal clear and totally focused on her.

I watched as TV-me led her around the penthouse, her gorgeous green eyes wide as she took in the luxury I took for granted. She looked like a damn princess.

I sat totally gripped by the show. In scene after scene she led me patiently through all the ins and outs of baby care, teaching me how to feed Faye, how to hold her, how to soothe her when she was upset. And Faye looked adorable, too. I couldn’t have hoped for a better model for my baby line.

The show soon ended, a quick montage of clips showing the viewer what they could expect for the next episode. As soon as the credits rolled, I got a text on my phone from Andrew.

Ratings are off the chart! We did it, J!

It was funny. Months ago, making this show a success would’ve been all I gave a damn about. But now, that only thing I wanted was to have Heather and Faye here next to me.

This couldn’t stand. There was something wrong with me, something that made me stupidly throw away a woman I loved.

And I needed to get to the bottom of why.

My mind raced. What would be wrong with me that would make me act such a way? How could I begin to find out?

Then it hit me—this went all the way back to my childhood. There was one place to start, and it was with my mother.

Tomorrow I’d go see her, to find out what she and my father had done, or not done, that had made me so wary of love and family. I’d have answers, and maybe if I was lucky, I could start the process of doing whatever it would take to love not only my girls, but the baby still to come.