We stayed a while longer at the party, chatting and having fun until it looked like Faye was totally out of gas.

“I think she’s having an attention overload,” said Justin as Faye’s eyelids began to droop.

“I think you’re right,” I said as I rocked her softly back and forth.

“Why don’t you go say your goodbyes, and I’ll call our ride for a pickup.”

“Sounds perfect,” I said with a smile.

Faye about asleep in my arms, I returned to the party and bid everyone a good night. More than a few of my friends let me know how impressed they were with Justin.

“I think he might be daddy material,” said Julia.

I shook my head. “Yes, I mean, no, I mean…” I sighed. “I don’t know. He loves Faye, that’s for sure. And he’s handsome and kind and everything else. But I don’t know if that’s what he wants. I feel like he’s keeping me at a distance, like he’s trying to keep the ‘mommy’ part of me away from everything else.”

“Maybe,” said Julia. “But I saw the way he was with Faye. He might’ve been player in the past, but he wouldn’t be the first guy to warm up to kids after spending some time with them.”

“I guess we’ll see,” I said.

I gave Julia a hug goodnight, wishing her one last happy birthday. As soon as I did, Justin approached us and let me know our ride was here.

“Pleasure to meet you, Julia,” he said. “And happy birthday.”

“The pleasure was all mine,” she said with a smile, which was followed up with a wink as soon as Justin turned his back.

I teasingly wagged my finger at her as Justin and I turned to leave. A luxury town car awaited us in front of the house, and I was more than ready to get inside and relax.

In the back of the car, the driver taking us through the city back to the West Village, I curled up next to Justin. He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close and tight. And on our laps was Faye, sleeping soundly.

We arrived at the penthouse, where I quickly put Faye to bed. Justin had recently suggested that I set up a small nursery in one of his spare bedrooms, but I was careful not to take this as a sign of him being totally cool with the fact that I was a mom.

Once Faye was down, Justin and I stripped down and slid under the covers.

“You were great tonight,” I said. “Made a really good impression.”

“Glad to hear,” he said. “And it was really nice seeing you there with your friends.”

“Thanks.”

We said nothing, instead looking deeply into one another’s eyes. Part of me wanted Justin to make love to me, but I was so sleepy. He must’ve felt the same way, because he slipped his arm around me tight and brought me close, just like in the car.

A big smile on my face, I soon fell asleep.

* * *

I woke up feeling restless as hell, but a glance at the clock on the nightstand revealed that it was only four in the morning. Anxiety took hold of me, however, and after a little tossing and turning, I accepted that I wasn’t going to be able to get much sleep.

After getting out of bed and throwing on a robe, I tried to puzzle out exactly what was wrong with me. Faye was sleeping soundly; Justin was in bed, and the party had gone better than I’d hoped. On top of everything, Justin seemed totally gaga about Faye. He went out of his way to spend some time with her, and he was beyond gushing with how he talked about her to my friends.

Everything seemed to be lining up for me to believe that he was ready for this, ready to accept me and Faye and…maybe even consider us part of his family, so what was eating at me?

I stepped into the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee. As I waited for it to brew, another thought occurred to me: that one day, Justin might have a flash of realization that he was on the verge of leaving behind the partying, carefree lifestyle that he’d become known for. He’d realize that he was about to lose his freedom to a woman and a child that wasn’t even his.

I tried to put all of this out of my head as best I could. I’d woken up in the middle of the night enough times to know there was something about a restless sleep that made anxiety worse. I took some deep breaths, trying to let it work through my system.

Once the coffee was ready, however, I remembered that there was something else that I’d been worrying about, something I’d been trying to forget about.

I was late. Very, very late.

Mug in hand, I stepped out onto the balcony. The air was chilly but still pleasant. The trees lining the streets below looked like blooms of deep reds and oranges. Fall was here.

I sipped my coffee, thinking about my little situation. It’d been weeks since my last period—and it was getting to the point when I couldn’t pretend that it wasn’t something I needed to be thinking about.

I scolded myself for being so careless with Justin. He and I weren’t the best about using protection. Sometimes we got caught up in the heat of the moment and forgot about important “little details” like that.

The sun began to rise over the city, the twinkling stars giving way to the bright of morning. After finishing my coffee, I set the mug down and vowed to not put it off any longer. I needed to find out if I was pregnant.

My steps now purposeful, I strode into the penthouse and back into the bedroom. Once there, I quietly put on some suitable clothes and shoes. After checking in on Faye, who was still sleeping peacefully, I threw on my coat and took the elevator downstairs.

The sun was a bit brighter as I made my way down the block to the pharmacy, the city coming to life for another day all around me. Ten minutes later, I’d made my purchase and was back at the penthouse, the pregnancy test tucked into the inner pocket of my coat.

I stepped into the bathroom and set the box down on the counter.

“Okay,” I said out loud. “Here goes nothing.”

I opened the box up and confirmed the directions—as though they were that hard to begin with—and set to it. Once I’d done the deed, I put the tester on the counter and set my phone alarm for three minutes.

Justin was still asleep, so I didn’t need to worry about him finding out what I was doing. To kill time, I poured myself another cup of coffee and paced the vast expanse of the penthouse, checking my phone over and over again, as if doing so would make the time go faster.

Finally, the phone dinged, letting me know the three minutes was up. I hurried back to the bathroom so quickly that I nearly spilled the rest of my coffee on the floor.

Once there, I snatched the test off the counter and looked it over with frantic eyes.

Positive.

Pregnant.

My hands shook as I set the test down.

I was pregnant. I was going to be a mother again, and Justin was the father.

I took a seat on the edge of the bathtub, wondering what the hell I was going to do now. Up until this point, I’d assumed that our relationship was going to go at its own pace, that while we had issues to worry about down the road, we’d be able to handle them when we were ready.

Not this, however. I was pregnant, and it was going to happen whether we were ready for it or not. And I sure as hell didn’t feel ready.

Faye let out a wail from the other room, her cry snapping me back to reality. I hurried to the nursery, scooping her up and holding her close.

“What’s the matter, baby?” I asked. “Hungry?”

I gave Faye her breakfast, thinking non-stop about how she was about to have a brother or a sister before too long. I couldn’t believe the test was positive—it was all so surreal.

Right as I finished up feeding Faye, I heard the sounds of Justin moving around in the main room of the penthouse. My eyes went wide as I realized that I’d left the pregnancy test in the bathroom. I gently set Faye back into her crib and took off toward the bathroom.

“Whoa!” said Justin as I rushed past him. “You okay?”

“Um, think something from the party’s not agreeing with me!” I called out mid-run. I winced internally at what I’d said, but an excuse was an excuse.

Once in the bathroom, I quickly picked up any trace of the pregnancy test—box and instructions and all—and shoved them into the bottom of the waste bin. I gave the toilet a flush and went back to the living room.

“You all right?” he asked. “You looked like you were trying to outrun the devil.”

“Fine!” I said, plastering a big, nothing’s-wrong smile on my face. “You, um, want to do brunch?”

I figured it’d be a good way to take my mind of what was going on, and to not give Justin too much time to think about my strange behavior.

“Sure,” he said. “But weren’t you having stomach issues two seconds ago?”

“I’m fine now,” I said. “Just needed some heartburn stuff.”

He regarded me skeptically for a moment before his expression eased.

“Sure,” he said. “You want to bring Faye or leave her at the kid care area?”

“Let’s bring her,” I said. “It’d be a fun morning out.”

“Sounds good to me,” he said. “Give me a few minutes to get ready.”

Justin headed off, and I went to Faye’s nursery to get her ready.

Seeing Faye in front of me made it all the more real what was going on. She wasn’t even a year old, and I was already pregnant again. The kid was going to have a brother or sister so close to her own age that it might as well be a twin.

I scooped her out of the crib and held her close. Whatever was going to happen next, I realized, wouldn’t be easy.