When I wake the next morning, Kyle isn’t talking to me…per usual. He knows I’ll eventually cave and be the first to speak. He’s as stubborn as a mule when it comes to arguments. He has to have the last word, and I have to be the peacekeeper. The one who says the argument is silly and can we just forget about it. It usually ends with Kyle’s excitement growing. The bulge in his trousers is evidence of this. He always ends up taking me on the table, sofa, anywhere just so we can have rough make-up sex. He says those are the best times. I, however, don’t agree. I always feel used and empty afterward, but I accept it because Kyle was my first. I simply don’t know any other way. Despite the fact I am unhappy in our sex life, I just assume all relationships are like this. I’ve never climaxed, but Kyle doesn’t seem to care, as long as he gets what he wants. I just feel there should be...I don’t know…more.

This morning, though, I feel different than usual. Kyle’s still angry, so it must be a shock to him when I get up, dress in my yoga gear, and head out to the gym without a word. This isn’t something I’d normally do. I’d always concede, making Kyle happy again. Not today. I need time away from my husband. Time to meditate and think things through. I really need to ponder whether my offer was as good as it sounded. I know I won’t change my mind, but I still owe it to myself to play devil’s advocate.

After an hour of yoga, I feel as determined as ever to see this through. I just need to know how Sarah and Ethan feel about it. Once I have them on board, it’s just Kyle I have to convince. I don’t know how to do that at this point, but I’m sure I can think of something.

After showering, I get dressed and make a hasty exit, phone in hand. I’m so busy texting Sarah, I run into a hard chest, hands grabbing my arms to steady me.

“Oops, sorry.” I look up, seeing Ethan smiling down at me. “Oh… Hi, Ethan. I was just in the middle of texting Sarah.”

Ethan pulls his hands away. “Yoga class again?”

I nod. “Workout for you?”

“Yep.”

It suddenly feels awkward. We both look away, as if trying to think of something to say.

“About last night…,” I start.

At the same time, Ethan says, “I was hoping to talk to you.”

We both smile, then Ethan sighs. “Can we go for a quick coffee?”

I shrug. “Sure.”

We venture down the escalator to the Starbucks on the first floor. Ethan orders a cappuccino, while I opt for a latte. It’s quiet because it’s still early on a Saturday morning. That’s why I like going to the early classes. I miss all the shoppers. After ten thirty in the morning, forget trying to find a seat in Starbucks.

After sitting at a table in the corner, Ethan shifts slightly. I know he’s trying to work up the courage to say something, so I debate whether to put him out of his misery. Seeing as he’s obviously having a hard time, I decide to start.

“It wasn’t the wine talking.”

His head snaps up. “What?”

I chuckle a little. “Last night. It wasn’t the wine talking. I was serious about my offer. I would love nothing more than to give you and Sarah this gift.”

Ethan’s eyes light up. His boyish excitement has me almost giggling again. “You really are serious, aren’t you?”

I take a sip of my latte and nod. “Of course. It would give me so much pleasure to see you both happy. I know how hard it’s been on you two.”

Ethan looks down for a moment, shoulders slumping. “It hasn’t been easy. Sarah was ready to give up, but I pushed the thought of surrogacy. She was hesitant at first, but she’s coming around to the idea. I think she thought by the time we found a surrogate, she would be too old to raise a baby. We have been trying for over four years now. Nothing seems to be working.”

I bite my lip. “Did you two discuss this after Kyle and I left last night?”

“Yeah. I thought that maybe you weren’t thinking straight and would regret it by morning. I would have been disappointed, but would have also understood. I can see that isn’t the case now, but what concerns me the most is that we’re all close friends. You’d be a part of the baby’s life. I’m not sure I’d be comfortable knowing that every time you look at our daughter or son, it would upset you.”

I sigh, thinking about what Kyle said last night. I know it’s true, but I still want this for them. I feel like this is my destiny. To make them a proper family.

“I hear what you’re saying, but it’s...” I sigh, trying to get the words out. “I can’t explain it. It just feels...right.” I roll my eyes. “You probably think I’m nuts to say that.”

Ethan laughs, shaking his head. “Not nuts. Courageous, selfless, and maybe a little bold, but certainly not nuts.”

I take another tentative sip. “What’s your overall opinion about this? Would you mind me being the mother of your child?”

He clears his throat. “I have been ready for this for the past four years. I’ve built up my hopes and dreams of starting a family. I’m just so grateful someone close to us is willing to do this. I think Sarah feels the same, but the biggest question of all is are you and Kyle ready for this?”

I grimace a little, remembering our argument. “I can safely say I am. I just need to speak with Kyle a little more. Like you, I think he thought it was just a spur-of-the-moment thing, but there is one thing he obviously still hasn’t learned about me.”

“What’s that?” Ethan asks, an intrigued look on his face.

“That I would never promise something I didn’t mean. Saying I would, then going back on it would be cruel to both you and Sarah. All I can say is I am ready, as long as you and Sarah are.”

Ethan takes a sip of his cappuccino. “Tell you what. Why don’t we give each other a few days? I’ll talk things through with Sarah, and you can talk things over with Kyle. By the end of next week, we can see if we still want to do this.”

I nod. “Sounds good to me. I’ll call you Friday afternoon with a decision.”

Ethan inhales deeply, the weight of the world seeming to lift off his shoulders. It’s a strange sight to see, but one that makes me happy. It just further cements my decision.

“I’m not sure if this will all go smoothly, but I must admit. This is the happiest I have been in a long time. I finally have hope again.”

I know I probably shouldn’t meddle, but I feel the need to. “Are you and Sarah okay?”

Ethan smiles hesitantly. “Yes, of course. I just think this whole baby thing has put a strain on our relationship. I’m sure once we know we’re going to have a baby, things will settle down. I just want to make Sarah happy. I know she hasn’t been for a long time, which makes me unhappy. That’s why I said this was the happiest I have felt in a long time. I really want to thank you for that.” Ethan’s words bring tears to my eyes. He reaches across the table for my hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

I shake my head and sniffle. “No, it’s okay. I just really hope I don’t disappoint either of you.”

Ethan looks at me, brows furrowed. “How could you ever disappoint us? Whether or not this works, what you’re offering is the most selfless, kind act imaginable. No matter what, I could never be disappointed.” He smiles warmly.

“Thank you.”

He chuckles. “It should be me thanking you.”

With pride in my heart, I lift my coffee cup. “To new beginnings.”

Ethan does the same. “To new beginnings.”

* * *

I walk through the door, startled to see Kyle standing there. “Where the hell have you been? I’ve been trying to call you. Why did you just walk out on me like that?”

I sigh as I drop my gym bag and head upstairs. “I think you can tell where I’ve been.”

I hear Kyle following me. “Your yoga class finished well over an hour ago. Where have you been?”

As I walk into our bedroom, I swing around to him. “I bumped into Ethan at the gym. He bought me a coffee and we talked about what happened last night.”

When I see the anger in his eyes, I know another fight is brewing. “You had no right to go behind my back.”

I narrow my eyes. “I didn’t go behind your back. I—”

“You know he wants to fuck you.”

I gasp. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not letting anyone else fuck my wife.”

My eyes widen. “You don’t seriously think I would consider that, do you? Are you nuts? There are other ways to get pregnant without sex being involved.”

Kyle’s nostrils flare. “Have you asked him?”

“Asked him what?”

He breathes deeply, the muscle in his jaw starting to tick. “How he wants to do this.” He inches forward, circling me without touching. I know what’s coming. “Did you ask him if he wants to rip your clothes off and fuck you senseless?”

Tears spring to my eyes. “Kyle, please…”

He grabs my breast before diving down toward the waistband of my yoga pants. Sliding his hand in, he forcibly pushes one finger inside me. I yelp at the intrusion. “Did he tell you he wanted to put his dick inside you and pound your pussy until it was sore? Did he tell you he wanted to come inside you? Make you scream?”

I shake my head and gasp again as he pushes his finger in farther. “Kyle, you’re being unreasonable. You know it’s not like that. Ethan’s a doctor. He would only want to do this clinically.”

Kyle’s breathing quickens, showing me he’s angry and turned on at the same time. That’s not a good mix, but it’s something I’ve seen too much of lately. “I see the way he looks at you. He wants to fuck you. Knowing that turns me on, but he can’t have you. No way am I going to allow anyone to fuck what’s mine.”

I shake my head again. “It won’t be like that. I swear. I only want to do this so Sarah and Ethan can have a proper family.”

Kyle pulls his finger out of me, then pulls my pants down. “Whose wife are you?”

I try to get free, but he holds me in place. “There’s no need for this.”

He turns me around and forces me to bend over the bed. “Whose wife are you, Alice? Who do you belong to?” I hear him pull down his zipper.

“You, Kyle. I belong to you.”

He forces his way in hard, making me gasp. I’m not ready, but I never am with Kyle. It hurts every time he enters me.

“That’s right, baby. Mmm, you’re so fucking tight.”

He starts pounding into me, grunting and panting as he grips my hips. I make my mind go blank. Nothing about this feels good. I feel used, but I take it like the diligent wife I am. I know he will be nice and caring afterward. He always is.

“Jesus, Alice. You’re seriously the best fucking pussy ever. You make me come so hard. No one else can make me come as hard as you. No one.”

I ignore the references to his other sexual encounters. I know Kyle was experienced before he met me, but he told me I was special because I lost my virginity to him. He promised me flowers, romance, marriage, kids. At first, it was romantic, but he eventually stopped caring about my happiness. After a while, everything just stopped.

“Fuck, baby. I’m going to come. I’m going to fucking mark you. You feel so fucking good. I could fuck you all day. Shit, Alice!” He stills as he releases himself into me.

Once his breathing calms, he caresses my back so tenderly, you would never believe he’s capable of making me feel so bad inside. As I hang my head, Kyle pulls himself out, grabs me, and pulls me onto the bed with him. He spoons me, gently placing kisses on my shoulder.

“I missed this last night. I missed coming to bed with you and making love to you. That was one of the best make-up sessions we’ve ever had. I’m going to need you again in a bit. I just need to work myself up for the next round. You know it’s never long. Is it, sweetheart?”

I sigh, but shake my head. I need to give him what he wants to get him on my side about the baby thing. I know if I don’t give in, he will make things difficult for me.

After a few minutes have passed and his breathing has calmed a little, he pulls my top up. “You are the sexiest thing alive. Do you realise that?” He grabs my breast, kneading and pulling at my nipple until I hiss. “You like that, baby? Shit, your breasts seem to get bigger every time I touch them. So fucking perfect.” He pulls one nipple into his mouth and begins sucking painfully. As I cry out, Kyle pulls away and climbs on top of me.

“The sounds you make get me so fucking excited. I can’t get enough of you, baby. You’re just too good.” He enters me again with a hard thrust and arches his back. “Fuck!”

He begins pounding faster and harder. Every time I cry out, he gets more and more worked up. “You’re so wet with my come. It makes you so warm and tight. Fucking best feeling in the world.”

When he starts going faster, I know he’s close. Thankfully, it never lasts too long. “You’re going to make me come again already. Fuck!” He roars out again and pounds into me one last time before he slumps on top of me. “Jesus, baby. It never seems to stop getting better with you.” He lifts his head and kisses me tenderly on the lips. “I definitely made the right decision marrying you. You’re the best wife anyone could ever wish for.”

When he kisses me again, I see the old Kyle. The one who loved me and cherished me. The one who made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Over the years, that man has turned into a selfish person. If I had known this side of him from the beginning, I doubt I would be here right now.