As I wait for Ethan to return from work, I hear his car pull into the driveway. I know what I have to say, but I’m not sure I want to hear his answer.

I hear the car door shut, then the jangling of keys as he lets himself in. He’s holding the biggest bunch of roses I have ever seen, along with a big tub of ice cream. He smiles, but when he sees me sitting on the sofa looking angry, his face drops.

“What’s the matter, babes? Has something happened? What did the solicitor say?” He places everything on the table and rushes toward me. When he sits next to me, he reaches out a hand. I flinch. “Honey, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”

“Is it true that you know the doctor who performed the paternity test?”

His eyes slightly widen at my question, then he frowns. “Who is it that told you..?”

“Never mind that. I want to know. Is it true?”

“Yes, but I—”

I get up and turn to him. “You’re friendly with the guy who performed the paternity test and you didn’t think it would be an issue? Did you ever hear of conflict of interest? No wonder Kyle questioned the results.”

Ethan looks pissed. “What did he say?”

“He told me not to trust you.”

Laughing, Ethan gets up and walks toward me. He cups my face with both hands. “Baby, this is coming from an alcoholic who did nothing but belittle you your entire marriage. You can’t believe a word he says.” When he sees the doubt in my eyes, he looks affronted. “I’ve been nothing but good to you, Alice. At least, that’s how I feel. If I haven’t, please tell me so I can fix it.”

Grabbing his hands, I plead with my eyes. “All I want from you is the truth.” He looks away, sighing, so I squeeze his hands to make him look at me. “Ethan, please. I have a right to know the truth. Did you orchestrate the results to go in your favour?” He doesn’t answer, so I nudge him. “Tell me.”

Ethan sighs again, and I drop his hands. “I threw the sample away.”

My eyes widen. “You did what?!”

Ethan holds his hands out. “Shh… You have to hear me out.”

I want to scream at him, but I’ll let him tell me what happened. No matter what it is, though, it can’t take away from the fact that he lied to me.

“I knew how much it meant for you not to have Kyle be the father. I sat at home and debated about what I was going to do to make this right. Steve owed me a favour, so I asked him to make up a false test. If you don’t believe me, give them a call. With data protection these days, you’re entitled to any medical records in your name. You’ll find nothing.”

I shake my head. “I don’t understand. Why would you do that? Why not get the test done to know for certain one way or another? Why go through this big charade?”

Ethan looks away. “Because I was scared, okay?” He looks back at me. “I was scared of what the results would be. I was scared that if it the baby were Kyle’s, he would never let you go. I was scared he would ruin you.” He walks toward me and grabs my arms. “Ruin us.”

Shrugging his hands off, I walk back to the sofa, but don’t sit. “That still didn’t give you the right to do what you did. It’s an abuse of power, Ethan. Not only that, you lied to me. How can I trust you after this?”

I watch the fear in his eyes as he stalks toward me. He grabs my face with his hands again. “I’m so, so sorry. I really am. I know I fucked up, but I promise to make it up to you. I will make you trust me again. Please, don’t shut me out.”

Tears start to well in my eyes. As much as I love him, I can’t do this. “I love you so much—”

“I love you, too. More than you’ll ever—”

“Please, let me finish.”

Stroking my cheek with his thumb, he smiles. “I’m sorry. Go on.” He drops his hands from my face, but makes sure to grab both of mine.

“But one of the reasons I broke up with Kyle is because he lied to me. You knew how much their betrayal broke us. When you’ve been through that yourself, why would you do it to me?”

“I would never, ever cheat on you. I promise you that.”

I wave my hand dismissively. “I know that, but a lie is still a lie. You could have told me what you’d done, but you chose not to.”

He squeezes my hands. “I don’t care about the results. This baby is mine.”

Looking into his eyes, I implore him. “Then why didn’t you submit the samples for testing? Why not know for sure?”

He shrugs. “Does it really matter? Kyle is not a role model for Father of the Year, is he? I’m standing in front of you and telling you that I don’t care. This baby is mine, regardless of the results. She’s not here yet, but I’ve already fallen in love with her. And do you know why?” he asks, grabbing the back of my neck and pulling me closer. “Because I’m in love with you. How can I not love something that’s a part of you?”

Leaning in, he gently places his warm lips on mine. At first, I relent, savouring his sweet taste. For a fraction of a second, I allow those feelings to wash over me. The same feelings that always come when he kisses me.

Then I remember his betrayal, the huge lie. A lie he can’t take back. “Ethan, stop,” I say, trying to push him away. He doesn’t listen and carries on kissing me. “Ethan, I said stop!”

He pulls away. “I’m sorry. Please, Alice. Let me make this up to you somehow. I’ll do anything.”

He looks at me with those pleading eyes. It would be so easy to give in, but how can I trust him now? “There’s only one thing you can do...”

“Name it. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

“Leave. I want you to leave.”

He reaches out a hand to touch me. “I know you’re angry now, but we can surely work this out. We can—”

I flinch away. “I mean it, Ethan. Don’t make me beg. Just leave. I need to be alone.” I give him a look that tells him I mean business. At first, he stares at me. Eventually, his shoulders sag, as if in surrender.

“Okay, I’ll go. I will give you time. Just, please, don’t shut me out completely. You know we were always meant to be together. We were meant to be together nine years ago. You know that to be true as well as I do.” When I don’t say anything, he walks toward me and places a kiss on top of my head. “I love you so much, Alice. Please, think about that while I’m gone.” He turns and leaves the house.

Once the door shuts, the flood of tears start. I sit on the sofa and mourn for the man I thought I could trust with all my heart. How can I ever go back with him after he lied to me over something as monumental as who the father of my baby is? I always thought I could trust Ethan explicitly, but it seems he’s just as bad as Kyle. He’s right when he says it’s not in the same context, but still. This is huge.

Placing my head on the cushion of my sofa, I let the tears flow. I rub my belly, looking down as I stroke my bump. “It looks like it’s just you and me, Kumquat.” I laugh at the joke, but memories of that day flash before my eyes. Before I know it, new tears start to stream down my face. I didn’t mourn Kyle when he left.

But I’m definitely mourning Ethan.