Lucien
"Yo, Stone!" someone yells, getting my attention. "What the fuck happened to you? Looks like you really got your ass kicked this time."
"Fuck you, Spider!" I yell back as the guard prods me to keep walking. Spider got his name from his legs. It's like something out of a freak show. I swear this guy is all legs and no torso. "You should see the other dude. If you want to see someone who's really fucked up, just take a look at his face." Spider laughs at that, and I watch as his freakish legs carry him off down the hall.
The guard walks me to a part of the prison I've never seen before. It's a hallway lined with hermetic, sealed off cells. So this is solitary, I think to myself.
"I wasn't lying when I said we don't tolerate violence," the guard tells me, noticing my hesitation. "But maybe now you'll believe me."
"If you think this place will teach me anything, you're fucking mistaken."
"Don't make this harder than it needs to be Stone."
"Or what?" I ask with a flash of defiance.
"Or your life sentence will feel like an eternity. You'll beg the universe for death but it won't seem to come fast enough."
I don't respond and he unlocks the door, ushering me in. I lean against the concrete wall, and slowly slide down into a sitting position. The door slams shut and it sounds just like a gun going off in my head. Bang. The same noise that haunts all of my waking moves. I clench my fists.
Fuck this place. I've got to get out of here. I touch the cut on my cheek and I remember the homemade weapons that the other inmate was holding in the midst of our fight. It could have been a lot worse. That son of a bitch was trying to give me a buck fifty wound right down my face. The kind of wound that leaves a lasting mark, like a brand. Some guys can be treated like they're cattle, but not me. Fuck that.
I guess the busted collarbone is the least of my worries. That prick better hope I never see his ass again. It's not that I want to spend my time fighting in this place, but I've been slapped with a life sentence. I mean, what the fuck do I have to lose besides my status in here? It's either eat or be eaten. You're either the lion or the fucking gazelle. You've got to watch your ass because no one is going to do that for you.
I let out a sigh and tell myself I should try and sleep but my mind refuses to shut off. Since when did this prison get such a hot medical staff? I think back to the medical assistant who examined me in the infirmary. Her hair. Her tits. Her perfect curves. Was I now hallucinating from the painkillers she shot me with, or was she looking at my cock back there on that x-ray table? And didn't she stumble on her words a few times? I swear I saw her face match the color of her hair at least once during that exam. Maybe I've been starved of a woman's touch for too long—I'm the first to admit that—but maybe she's more than just a hot piece of ass. Maybe she's my meal ticket out of this shithole. The way I rattled her when I suggested she liked it in the ass. I laugh at that memory until I'm practically crying and the only thing that stops me is when the pain resurfaces and becomes too much to tolerate. Fuck those weak ass painkillers.
I'm no stranger to women, and everything tells me this nurse is as naïve as they come. With a little effort, I bet I can persuade her to help me. In fact, I know I can. She'll be an unknowing accomplice. I think back to other women in my life—Maggie, Sarah, Lisa—they were all so naïve. Maggie was the first. Her face was as round and innocent as an apple pie. "I need you, baby," she'd beg every time I left the house at night, feigning a work emergency only to go fuck her friend. I'd come home the next morning hung over and smelling like sex—sometimes with a pair of her panties in my pocket. I'd tell her I had a long night. I'd tell her my boss was working me to the bone and you know what? She'd eat it up. I mean it; she'd swallow it all like I was serving her an expensive dessert. It was that easy.
And then there was Sarah. She was Maggie's opposite in a lot of ways—more guarded, like a bank vault, but still naïve as all hell. My lies grew more elaborate, but she still clung on to me as if I was a fucking crucifix. Like I was going to save her from her demons. At the time I didn't mind because every time I rested my head between her warm breasts, or pinched her nipples in between my lips, or ran my tongue between the secret parts of her thighs, everything was right with the world. But the first time she ingested a week's worth of Xanax, I knew it was beginning of the end.
Lisa was a different creature all together. If I weren't such a fucking coward I would've married her. I would've dropped down on one knee like they do in the movies—maybe I would've even taken her to a fancy restaurant and asked the waiter to bring her a slice of cake with a giant diamond ring buried deep in the buttercream—something that happens in Hallmark ads. If I weren't a coward I would've put my arm around her waist and pulled her close to me. I would've whispered in her ear that she was the star that had burned brightest in my darkest skies and that my life was fuller with her in it. I would've told her she was beautiful. That she was fucking worth it. But life isn't Hallmark. That shit is a fucking lie. That's not how the cookie crumbled. Instead she got pregnant and I ran as fast and as far away as I could. If I'm honest, I couldn't get away fast enough. I left her in our apartment kitchen, crying in front of a bucket of dirty mop water. How naïve could she be to fall in love with a guy like me anyways?
I've never said I was a good person. It's too late for that. I've fucked up my life—hurt the people around me in more ways than one, and maybe I'm going to hell for that, but I'm innocent of the charge that landed me in this fucking place and I refuse to sit here and take it. I sit against the wall, closing my eyes in contemplation. My anger flares and I think about confronting Billy in a dark alley. I think about what I'd tell him before rearranging his face. And then I snap back to reality and the look at the four concrete walls surrounding me. There's got to be a way out of here.
I close my eyes again and after a few moments it hits me. I have an idea. I need to see that red head again.