Neco

The drink in my hand had gone warm. Not that it mattered much—I wasn’t drinking it. I was waiting on Raul, and hoping like hell he had something new for me. Information wasn’t coming fast enough for me, though Jude had been talking to his contact Connor at the station and apparently Jimmy Mason, Scott’s friend, had been found dead in his apartment after an anonymous tip. My gut said it had something to with Scott. Shit, maybe it was Scott that called it in?

I had no idea. But right then, nothing was adding up.

An image of that fucking video flashed though my head, and my hand tightened around my glass.

I’d been pushing Ruby away from me since she was sixteen in an attempt to protect her, sticking my nose in her business even longer, for the exact same reason. Still, I’d failed, and I’d hurt us both in the process. I couldn’t do that anymore. I didn’t want to. Old habits die hard, though, and standing back while she trained to become an agent under someone else, somewhere else, knowing she was putting herself in danger, was killing me. I’d told her the truth last night. I knew she could do it, I knew she was more than capable. Hell, I knew she’d be an amazing agent, but that didn’t stop the fear, or the inbuilt need to protect her. This profession went hand in hand with danger. Every. Damn. Day. Keeping Ruby safe had been my job for so long, I couldn’t just . . . stop. But if I didn’t, if I didn’t take a step back and let her do this, I could lose her for good.

I wasn’t sure how I was going to give her what she needed and stay sane.

If she got hurt again because of something I did . . . or didn’t do . . .

Fuck.

I dragged my hand over my face. I needed a lead; I needed to find Scott. With him still out there, it was getting harder and harder to let Ruby out the door, and not lock her in my damned apartment and never let her out.

“Hey.” I lifted my head as Hunter slid into the seat opposite. I’d told him I was coming here tonight.

“You know if Raul has anything for me?” I asked.

Hunt shook his head. “I thought I’d sit in, though.”

I knew exactly why he felt the need to sit in. If Raul did hand me Scott, my friend wanted to make sure I didn’t do anything that could get me locked up.

His beer was delivered and he sat back. “How’s Ruby?”

“Determined to be the best agent in New York.”

Hunter chuckled. “I don’t doubt she’ll do it, too.”

“You’re not wrong.”

“I assume by the scowl on your face that this doesn’t please you?”

I stared across the table at Hunter. “Would it please you? If Lulu was risking her neck every day?”

Hunter scowled as well. “Fuck no.”

“Exactly.”

“At least she’s in good hands. Harry knows what he’s doing.”

“Yeah.” I sucked in a rough breath through my nose. “It’s hard though, to . . . shit, to . . .”

“Let go?” Hunter finished for me. “I can see how hard you’ve been trying with her. You’re doing the right thing.” He shrugged. “Van always thought she’d be good out in the field.”

I lifted my glass and downed what was left. “I know, and I agree. I still don’t like it.” I shook my head. “I saw what she came from, how Valery treated her, picked up the pieces when she was done, kept her safe. Now somehow I’m supposed to just . . . step back?”

Hunter gave me a sympathetic look and took a sip of his beer. “I know Valery was abusive, but Ruby kept that to herself, only shared with you. I wish I’d done more to help her back then.”

“I wish I’d put a bullet in the bitch’s head.”

Hunter’s head tilted to the side. “Why didn’t you?”

That was one kill I would’ve never felt remorse over. I sat back. “Ruby went missing this one time. I hadn’t seen her at all, not even walking to school. I waited until Valery left the house, broke in, thought she must be sick or something. I found Ruby in the kitchen, tied to one of the cabinets by a rope around her neck. She’d been there for three days. Valery had been calling her dog, made her eat off the floor, not even allowed to use the bathroom. She was ten.”

“Jesus,” Hunter choked out.

“I was going to kill her that day.” I’d wanted it more than I’d wanted anything in my life. If Ruby hadn’t pleaded with me not to, I would have executed the evil bitch. “Ruby freaked out, terrified I’d get caught and go to jail.” That I’d leave her. I shrugged. “I was all she hand, and I couldn’t guarantee that wouldn’t happen, so I let Valery live.”

We sat in silence for a while after that, until Raul finally walked through the door. He spotted us, said something to one of the girls, and headed in our direction.

Sliding into the seat beside Hunter, his eyes went to mine in that direct way of his, assessing me. Obviously seeing I was close to the edge, he muttered something under his breath. His drink arrived. Whiskey, neat. Raul usually drank beer. When he downed it in one shot and those usually hard eyes turned sympathetic, I knew shit was bad.

“Tell me,” I gritted out.

Raul tilted his head. “I didn’t get anything on Imperious; well, nothing new. You’re right, the players are determined to stay anonymous.” I’d sent the name through to Raul that morning.

“Fuck,” Hunter said, voicing my thoughts.

“But I have a contact, one of my kids.” Raul had looked out for a lot of street kids over the year, still did. Not all of them stuck around, or made it, but the ones that did would do anything for the guy.

The older man shook his head. “We parted ways a long time ago. I didn’t like the company he kept, but he owes me, so I called in my marker. I’d heard whispers, that name mentioned more than once. Like you, my contact doesn’t know the players, but he confirmed they’re the backers of that website and where those images of your girl were going.” He rubbed his jaw. “The site from the outside is legit, says the girls signed up for it, and maybe some do? Fucked if I know, but the whole thing’s a cover.” He glanced at Hunter and I felt my friend brace. Whatever Raul was about to say, I wasn’t going to like it. “The majority of the girls on that site have no idea they’re on it. Basically, the person sourcing these girls and setting up the cameras gets a cut, a percentage per view. They go in, get out, then sit back and rake in the cash.” He motioned for another drink. “This asshole that hurt your woman, he didn’t do that, he stuck around. Why? Who knows?” He shrugged and rubbed a hand over the scruff on his chin. “I wish I could tell you more, but my contacts just aren’t that high up the food chain.”

“Any word on Scott?”

“There were sightings, same day he tied to snatch your girl off the street . . . since then . . .” He shook his head. “Nothing.”

The tight coil inside me fucking exploded in my chest. The feeling of helplessness was damn near overwhelming. I needed Ruby. Now. She was the only one that could pull me out of the dark shit sucking me under. I shot to my feet. “I need to go.”

“Stay. Calm down before you leave,” Hunter said, standing as well, blocking my goddamn way.

“Not gonna happen. No one knows where that fucker is,” I bit out. “What the fuck am I going to do?”

Hunter didn’t budge. “Where are you going?”

“Home. To my woman,” I growled.

Hunter held my stare, then finally stepped back. “Call me if you need anything.”

I dipped my chin and strode out of the club. I needed to hold her in my arms, hear her breathing, smell her skin, and maybe then I’d feel human again.

Then I had a call to make, and a favor to ask.

One I knew would come at a price.

One I’d pay no matter the cost.

The apartment was quiet when I walked in. My mind was racing, every muscle in my body bunched tight. Jesus, the women on that site had no say, no knowledge that they were being watched. These women had their choice taken away. My mother had been treated like nothing more than an object most of her life, bought and used by men who didn’t care about her, until she finally broke.

That’s what Scott had done to Ruby.

I walked to the bedroom on autopilot. It was dark, but I could see her clearly, enough light streaming through the windows from the street. She was on my side of the bed, arms curled around the pillow, dark hair in a wild tangle. I stripped off, unable to take my eyes off her, even for a second, then I climbed under the covers and rolled her to her back.

She moaned softly, eyes blinking open. “Hey. You’re home.”

I kissed her, harder than I should, but she didn’t complain, just wrapped her arms around me and clung like fuck. Her lips were soft and warm, like the rest of her. I trailed my mouth along her jaw, tasting her skin. “Need you,” I rasped against her ear, then lifted up to look down at her.

She stared up at me, lids heavy as I dragged off the T-shirt she was wearing, one of mine, then tugged her panties down her legs.

She reached up and cupped may face. “What’s going on?”

“I just need you,” I choked out, the emotions inside me swirling, shit, fighting for dominance.

“Then take me,” she whispered through the darkness, pressing her lips to my jaw, my shoulder. “I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you.”

I ground into her, kissed her deep, fucking lost in her. I was driven by a base need inside me, to claim what was mine, to mark her, own her. To make sure she knew she was mine and I was hers.

“Please tell me you’re ready for me, sweetheart?”

“I’m always ready for you,” she said back. “Give it to me, let me make it better, let me do that for you.”

I growled, and dropped down on top of her, using my thighs to shove hers apart . . . and slid home.

She moaned against my neck, arms tightening around me.

“I’m sorry,” I rasped as I slammed into her hard and deep, setting a frantic pace that was completely out of my control. “I’m so fucking sorry I let you go.” I was close to coming in minutes. I doubted she was anywhere near ready. She didn’t complain, though, just clung tighter to me, whispering words of encouragement. Telling me it was all right. That everything would be all right. Reading me like she always had, absorbing my pain, the battling emotions inside me. Giving me what I needed without question.

Ruby was stronger than I’d ever be.

Rearing back, I slid my hand between our bodies. I needed Ruby with me, every step of the way. I slid my thumb over her clit and she arched beneath me.

“That’s it, baby, come with me.”

She moaned then I felt her start to tighten around me. I grunted, fucking into her harder, a sound tearing from me that matched the animal inside as I came. I fell forward and bit down on her shoulder as I pumped her full of my come, marking my territory, covering her in my scent, shuddering and growling as I did.

She lay under me silent as I tried to catch my breath, her hands sliding over my overheated skin while I tried to get my shit back under control.

Finally, she kissed my throat and said, “What’s going on, Neco?”

I felt shaken from my loss of control, for how I’d come to her tonight, so close to the edge.

Fuck.

I dragged the covers away, grabbed my shirt, and started cleaning her up. “Jesus. I didn’t even use a condom.” But I’d known what I was doing, didn’t I? I’d appeased the monster inside me.

“I’m on the pill, it’ll . . .”

“Shit . . . Ruby . . .” Guilt slammed through me. “I’m gonna take care of you, baby.” I flung my shirt aside and kissed up her inner thigh. “Lay back, let me get you off again, sweetheart.”

She shook her head. “I don’t need to get off. I need you to tell me what’s going on.”

I kissed her hip, the Superman symbol. I was the complete opposite of a damned hero, but somehow, I had to give her back everything she gave me. I didn’t know how I could ever do that. “I’ll make you come so hard . . .”

“Neco . . .”

“Let me take care of you.” I kissed her pussy.

She tried to squirm away. “Neco . . .”

“Spread for me, baby. Let me . . .”

“No!” She shoved me then slid back, pulling her knees up.

I stared at her in shock. In trying to prove to myself that I wasn’t a selfish asshole, to appease my guilt, to make myself feel better—I’d almost forced her to give me what I needed. Again.

I shot to my feet, stumbling away from her, holding up my hands. “Fuck, Ruby. I’m sorry. I’d never . . . fuck.” I took another step back. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I needed to get the hell out of there.

Ruby was out of bed before I could walk away, racing around the bed and blocking the door. Her hands went to my gut, pushing, trying to stop me from leaving. “What is it? Tell me what’s going on?” she whispered. “Jesus, Neco, you’re freaking me out.”

All I could think was that I was basically treating her like all those men had treated my mother. She’d been hurt because of me, and I was doing the one thing that separated me from them, from those men with their black hearts. Always taking what I needed from her, caring only about my needs. I was supposed to do that for her. My mom used to cry when they left; sometimes she was inconsolable. The sight was stamped on my soul. I’d done awful things in my life, but I’d never mistreated a woman.

But tonight, I’d used Ruby . . . to appease the beast.

I was going to hyperventilate. There was too much shit going on in my head. Too much anger. Too much guilt.

“Jesus.” Ruby pressed against me. “Baby, sit down.”

I dropped to my ass, like someone had blown out my kneecaps, letting my head thump against the wall behind me and squeezed my eyes closed. I felt her hands on my face, felt her soft lips pressing against my cheeks, my jaw, listened to her soft words.

“Shhh. Just breathe. That’s it, slow and deep.”

It worked. Listening to her voice calmed me down enough so that I stopped feeling dizzy, the panic drifting away, the red rage fading. Ruby needed her man to be strong, and not only had I just humiliated myself in front of my woman, I’d let her down, back then, and now.

I slid my arms around her waist and held her to me tighter. I didn’t deserve her.

But no fucking way was I letting her go.

It was too late for that now.

* * *

Ruby

I woke alone.

Voices drifted in from the living room, deep, low voices that didn’t sound happy. Climbing out of bed, I pulled on some tights and dragged Neco’s T-shirt from last night back on . I walked out of the room and down the short hall. Van was standing across from Neco, and they were deep in conversation.

“What’s going on?” I asked as I crossed the room.

Neco watched me as I approached. The look on his face told me he was still uneasy about what happened last night. After sitting on the floor with him for close to an hour, he’d picked me up and climbed into bed, wrapping me in his arms. He finally told me how damn helpless he was feeling, that his meeting with Raul hadn’t gone well, and they were no closer to finding Scott or the people behind that sick fucking website.

I hated that he felt that way, that he actually felt like he was letting me down. I tried to tell him he was wrong, but I knew he wasn’t done punishing himself.

My stomach was still in knots over what Neco found on Scott’s laptop. I was still trying to process the fact that strangers had seen me doing the most intimate things a woman could do, but something about the video Scott had kept of the night I spent with him was too much for me to deal with, especially since I remembered none of it.

“Just a case we’re working,” Neco said, barely meeting my eyes.

What in the hell?

“You sure about that?” I closed the space between us, leaning into his side as I stole his coffee cup from him, took a sip, then handed it back. I felt his body relax. Did he think I was pissed at him? He kept apologizing to me last night, but he had nothing to apologize for. He needed to know that this was a two-way street. If he needed me, I was there for him. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and ask if he was okay, talk to him, make him understand, but I couldn’t do anything with an audience.

“Nothing for you to worry about,” he said finally, sliding his arm around me and holding me to his side.

I glanced at Van, brow raised. His expression was unreadable, and he kept his lips firmly shut.

“We’ll be finished up soon,” Neco said. “Why don’t you go grab a shower and I’ll make you breakfast when you’re done?”

They were trying to get rid of me, which meant whatever they were talking about was definitely something I needed to know. “Don’t you dare keep me in the dark. I don’t need protecting, not from the truth. If you know something . . . tell me. Besides, there’s nothing you need to hide from me, I’m an agent now, remember? Plus, I used to work for you. I’ve heard it all.”

Van sipped his coffee then leaned back against the counter. “Sorry to tell you this, but there’s a lot you didn’t know about the agency and what we do.”

My spine straightened. I was pissed off and offended all at once. “What do you mean?”

Van shrugged. “There were things you were better off not knowing when it came to work. This would be one of those things.”

“You don’t trust me?” I accused.

“Nothing to do with trust. A lot we do is on a need-to-know basis. In this instance, you don’t need to know.”

Neco gave me a little squeeze and a gentle shove toward the bathroom. I scowled at both of them. I wasn’t buying their bullshit. This powwow they were having was about me, I was sure of it.

I also wasn’t going to let Neco get away with it. Whatever they were talking about, and after the way Neco behaved last tonight, I knew it was big. I was taking off the metaphorical gloves. No more playing by his rules. I was done with that.

As I stormed to the bathroom, Lulu’s words shifted though my head.

I have ways to make him talk.

Maybe I could persuade Neco to spill the beans using not so fair means? I’d feel guilty, but right then I was pissed off. I knew he’d do the same thing if he needed to, and it wasn’t like we both wouldn’t enjoy my methods a whole hell of a lot. I was pretty sure seducing him would be the easy part. Getting him to talk, though, was another thing completely. The man was stubborn as hell. He knew all my tricks, but seduction was a new one. We hadn’t been sleeping together long and couldn’t get enough of each other. I was in a constant state of arousal. I just had to think about his hands on me and a wave of heat washed over me, zaps firing up my nerve endings until I was desperate for him. Considering Neco couldn’t keep his hands off me either, I could only assume he felt the same way.

Maybe that was my angle?

He always took the lead. But Neco made it easy. He just flipped me around where he wanted me, then blew my ever-loving mind until I couldn’t see straight.

Could I do this? Could I turn the tables on him?

Crouching down, I opened the bathroom cabinet and dug around in my toiletry bag. I found what I wanted and stood.

I’d give it a good try.

Time to play dirty.