Ruby

I lay with my feet up on Lulu’s couch while she made us dinner. Harry had just left after a short visit, and once he’d taken a minute to cool down after seeing my bruises, he told me to take all the time I needed, that my job was waiting for me when I was ready. Harry was a great guy, but God, I hated that he’d seen me this way.

I hated imposing on Lulu and Hunter as well, but I didn’t really have much choice. I wasn’t ready to go back to my place, not with Scott still on the loose, and after the pissing contest between Neco and Van, I wasn’t excited about taking up either one of their offers and starting some kind of drama between them. I didn’t know what was going on there, and I didn’t have the energy to think about it, either.

Josh giggled. I glanced down at him and Hunter on the floor playing cars, and a pang of jealousy took me by surprise.

Lulu and Hunter had this great family now. God, they were so damn happy. I’d never seen Hunter like this in all the years I’d known him. He was a different man when he was with Lulu—for Lulu. I mean, he was still the same badass as before, but there was something else, something more. The happiness, the contentment he was feeling had erased the cold-edged pain he’d always carried around with him. The same couldn’t be said for his brother. Van stood across the room, talking on his phone, looking as rigid and as unrelenting as always. There was a hardness to Van that could be frightening at times. Yes, he was an incredibly good man, he cared deeply for those close to him, but there was something . . . I don’t know, a knowledge that he was capable of almost anything. He and Neco had that in common.

I’d never had a real family, and even as close as I was to the guys at the agency, how much I cared for them, only Neco had truly been that for me. Don’t think about him.

I shoved the green-eyed monster down deep and stared out the window.

“Here, take these.” Lulu walked over, handing me a glass of water and two ibuprofen.

I was feeling much better, just a few aches and pains, but I took them anyway.

Someone pounded on the door.

I jolted and a spike of fear shot through me before I could get a handle on it. This jumpiness was making me crazy. This wasn’t me. I didn’t scare easy. I loathed what Scott had reduced me to. Hunter got to his feet and went to answer it. My eyes slid to Lulu then Van, hoping like hell they hadn’t seen my overreaction to a damn knock. No luck. Van was watching me, expression knowing as hell.

Shit.

Maybe it was stupid, but the last people I wanted knowing I was struggling were these guys. Nothing scared any of them. I didn’t want to be some damsel in distress. And despite this little hiccup, I hadn’t changed my mind about my career path. This fear, it would pass. How I handled this situation, how these men saw me handle it, was important.

Hunter was holding the door ajar, talking to someone, then it shoved open suddenly and Neco walked in. As soon as he spotted me, he started in my direction.

“What the fuck, Ruby?” He stopped in front of me. “I went to pick you up and the nurse said you were already gone.” He rubbed a hand over his head. “I was worried out of my damn mind.”

“Van didn’t . . . ?”

Neco’s nostrils flared.

“Oops.” Van muttered.

Hunter had asked his brother to let everyone know where I was when they picked me up. I didn’t know if Van had done it on purpose to piss Neco off, or what the hell was going on. I twisted to look at Van. “What on earth is going on with you two?”

“Why don’t you ask Neco,” Van said.

I looked back at Neco. His teeth were gritted, eyes shooting a death ray at Van. I decided I didn’t want to know.

“I’ve sorted everything for you to come stay with me,” Neco said. “Get your stuff and I’ll take you home.”

Home?

I blinked up at him. “Pardon?”

His eyes softened a fraction. “You’re stayin’ with me.”

I blinked up at him, dumbfounded. “I thought I’d stay here . . .” Stay with him? Nope. Not a good idea. I’d made up my mind to put some distance between us. To give up my childhood fantasy of us together. Living with him would not help me in that decision.

His pale green eyes slid over me, sending a shiver from the tip of my head to my toes. “I’ve got more room. Josh can stay in his own bed if you come to my place.” Neco pulled something out of his jacket pocket and bent down. When he lifted his hands, he was holding my glasses. He leaned in and slid them gently on my face. “Picked these up from your apartment.”

My spare pair, since my others were broken. Everything shifted back into sharp, crystal clear focus. “Thanks.”

He shrugged, even as his eyes moved over my face, the smallest of smiles curling up one corner of his mouth.

“She’s okay here. Lulu made Josh a bed up in our room,” Hunter said beside us.

Neco shook his head. “Nice of you, man, but she’s coming home with me.”

A look past between Hunter and Neco, then Hunter’s brows went high and he rubbed the back of his neck. “Here she’s got someone to help her shower or dress and whatever if she needs it . . .”

Neco’s eyes did a sweep of my body again. “I’m sure I can sort something.”

My belly flipped. What did that mean?

“Maybe you better ask Ruby what she wants?” Hunter said.

They both looked down at me.

“Well . . . I . . .” I felt myself wavering. I was also past the point of needing help to shower and dress. In fact, I was feeling a lot better. Neco was right, he did have more room. And Josh wouldn’t be kicked out of his own bed. But being up close and personal with Neco twenty-four/seven was not a great idea, not when I was feeling so vulnerable. I couldn’t afford to lean on him again, not anymore.

There was another knock at the door, saving me from having to answer the question. This time Lulu answered it, said something to whoever it was, then turned to me. “The police want to ask you a few questions.”

An officer walked in, a big guy with a buzz cut. He looked around the room, nodded to the guys, then headed to me. He had another officer with him, a woman . . .

The same woman who had given Neco her number when we dropped off the skip. I watched her take in the room, skimming the faces, then halt and reverse back to Nec. A slow smile curled her lips, and she started walking, her sights set on him. He moved suddenly, meeting her halfway. She touched his arm . . .

“Ms. Styles, I have a few more questions to ask if that’s okay?”

Neco’s friend didn’t join her partner as he questioned me—standard things like, have I heard from Scott? Do I have any idea where he could be? Does he have any family or friends in the area? I answered, but was struggling to focus, my eyes sliding back to Neco. We finished up, and the cop walked over to Van. The two seemed to know each other and I assumed he’d worked with Jude or whatever. Really, it was hard to pay attention when my heart suddenly felt like a lump of clay. Look away.

But I couldn’t.

She touched Neco’s arm again and I gritted my teeth.

Lulu slid into the seat beside me. “Hunter just told me she’s called Neco a few times, wants him to take her on a date.”

I stilled. “Is he going to?”

She glanced over at them, still standing close, and the expression Lulu aimed at me was sympathetic. “I’m not sure.”

He was interested. Why else would he be over there talking to her? “Right.”

“I’m sorry.” She squeezed my hand.

I hated that she knew how I felt about him. I’d tried to hide it, had never confirmed it, but Lulu knew.

“He’s a free agent,” I said, my voice sounding thick to my own ears. “Always has been.”

I looked away and noticed Van casting hostile glances at Neco, barely listening to the guy beside him. “What’s up with Van?”

Lulu shifted in her seat, suddenly looking uncomfortable.

“Shit, Lulu, just tell me. Something is definitely going on between those two.”

She leaned in, so only I would hear her. “You know what Van’s like—family first. When he heard Neco turned his phone off, he lost his shit.” She bit her lip. “But that’s not the worst part.”

I knew I wasn’t going to like this, not one bit, I knew by the look on her face, but I needed to hear it. If it would help me move on, get a hold of these feelings I had for him, these one-sided feelings, I needed to hear whatever she was about to say. “Just say it,” I rasped.

“The reason he turned it off . . .” Lulu was looking at me, so she didn’t see the moment Neco turned back toward me, eyes locking with mine. “He was in one of the private rooms at Stilettos with some woman that works the bar.”

I flinched, hard enough my whole body jolted, causing my bruises to throb.

Neco sucked in a sharp breath. He had no way of knowing what Ruby had said to me, but he knew something was wrong. He started toward me.

“Help me up,” I rushed out. “Please, I need to go to the bathroom.”

“I’m sorry,” Lulu said again as she stood. “I just thought you had a right to know.”

“I’m glad you told me.” I winced at the deep ache in my thighs, still sore from my tumble down the stairs.

I’d barely taken a step, when Van was there, scooping me up. I heard Neco’s growl as Van strode down the short hall.

“Thank you,” I said to him. I didn’t want to be carried like some invalid, didn’t need to be, but right then I was too thankful to be out of that room, to be away from Neco, to protest.

“He cares about you,” Van grunted, tilting his head back the way we’d come. “Despite all that bullshit, he does care.”

God, did everyone know? I forced a smile, but knew it didn’t reach my eyes. “Just not enough, right?”

“Neco’s family, you know that. Fuck, he’d never intentionally hurt you. But Ruby, he will hurt you. He won’t mean to, he’d rather cut off his own damn arm than that, but he’s not the kind of guy who can settle down and live a normal life. He’s been though too much, seen . . . done, too much. Guys like us, we’re hardwired a certain way. We might want to, but we can’t change.”

I looked up at him, at the sincerity etched into his features. He believed what he’d just said to me. Maybe I was naive, but I chose to believe people had the ability to do whatever they set their mind too. That if they really wanted something, they would do what they had to achieve it—even change.

As for Neco, the point was moot. What Van was driving at wasn’t relevant. He had misinterpreted Neco’s bossy, controlling attitude toward me for something more. Sure, he wanted to protect me, like he always had, because he was carrying guilt over missing my call. He felt responsible for me. Nothing more.

A vision of him with some sexy stripper filled my head, then another of Neco and his hot cop, and I hated how it made me feel. If that didn’t spell out his feelings for me loud and clear, I didn’t know what did.

“Neco and me, we’re just friends. Nothing more.” The words slipped from my mouth easily enough, but they were a lie; we hadn’t even been that for a long time. Those kisses, I didn’t know what they were, but it didn’t exactly matter, since he’d chosen to forget they ever happened.

Van stared down at me for the longest time, dark eyes intense. “You sure about that?”

“Yes.” It was the only thing I was sure about. Well, the “nothing more” part, anyway.

Finally, Van put me down in front of the bathroom. “You want me to wait and carry you back?”

I shook my head. “Thanks, but I’m fine. I’m going to go and have a lie down now, anyway. I’m feeling kind of tired.”

He curled his fingers around the back of my neck and pulled me forward, kissing the top of my head, the action almost fatherly. “Hurry the hell up and get better.”

I gave him a playful shove, even managed to laugh in a way that didn’t sound too fake as he walked away. As soon as he was out of sight, I bypassed the bathroom, since I didn’t actually need it, and went to Josh’s room, climbed into his racing car sheets, pulled the covers high, and squeezed my eyes shut.

I hadn’t planned on going to sleep, but I obviously had since I woke to mumbling voices coming through the door. Hunter and Neco. They weren’t arguing, but they were . . . debating. I could tell by the occasional growl, the grunted response from one or the other. The talking went on for quite a while then, with another grunt, I finally heard one set of boots walk away.

X-ray glasses weren’t necessary. I knew it was Neco still on the other side of the door. My stomach curled with nerves—excitement. I didn’t know which. Didn’t know if I wanted him to come in or walk away.

I held my breath, waiting to see what he’d do . . .

There was a soft knock. “Ruby?”

His voice sounded deeper, rougher. I bit my lip, fighting with myself. My head screamed at me to stay where the hell I was and keep my damn mouth shut. My heart, the traitorous bitch, wanted to dive out of bed, fling the door open, and beg him to take me with him.

I curled my fingers into the covers, heart beating wildly, and continued to do battle with myself. It seemed like forever before I heard the thud of his boots, the sound of his retreating footsteps.

He was gone.

Snuggling back down, I closed my eyes and fought the impulse to run after him.

I settled for imagining the comforter around me was Neco’s arms. For once, allowing myself to indulge in such thoughts.

Just for tonight. I’d be strong again tomorrow.

* * *

So damn hot.

Argh. My eyes felt glued shut. I tried to open them, changed my mind, and decided staying asleep was a better idea. But then I couldn’t get back to sleep because it was so freaking hot. God, did Lulu pile more blankets on me during the night? Grunting, I shoved the covers off, then gasped, the quick movement hurting my bruised side.

“Keep still,” a male voice said, low and husky with sleep.

I froze at the sound of that familiar voice.

A voice that I had heard first thing in the morning, more times than I could even count.

I jerked and twisted, then let out a cry of pain. I was stiff in the mornings and until I got up and moved around, the aches and pains were worse.

Strong hands landed on my hips and held me in place. “What part of ‘keep still’ don’t you understand?”

He was behind me, right behind me. I could feel every inch of him. I turned to look at him, more carefully this time. Shit. I blinked at him, jammed in Josh’s tiny twin bed with me, eyes heavy, full lips relaxed instead of held in the grim line they were always in for . . . hell, too long to remember. Well, when he looked at me, anyway. I opened my mouth, closed it again, then I did a sweep of his body, the parts I could see, anyway.

He was bare chested, one of those wide, long-fingered hands still curled around my hip. I didn’t mean to, but my eyes dipped lower to his abs. Abs that looked cut from marble. Beautiful dark skin, smooth and lickable. His fingers tightened on my hip, snapping my attention back to him.

His green eyes looked darker now.

“How you feeling this morning?” he asked.

How am I feeling? Had I somehow been transported back in time? Back when waking up next to Neco had been the norm instead of the exception. Before I’d started seeing him differently. To a time when the last thing I’d be doing while lying beside him was fantasizing about sliding down his body and tracing those chiseled abs with my tongue.

I tried to form a reply, but all I could focus on was his hand still on my hip, the heat radiating from his palm, making the skin underneath tingle.

“Ruby?” he said, voice even huskier. “You feeling okay?”

“You’re in my bed,” I said instead. What was going on here? What the hell was he thinking?

“I’m aware.”

Jesus. “Okay. Let me rephrase. Why are you in my bed?”

His gaze moved over my face, lingering on my mouth, then locked back onto my eyes. “Told you I wasn’t going anywhere.”

What he’d said to me at the hospital.

I stared at him. He stared back.

My pulse sped up.

Josh squealed out in the living room then burst out laughing. It was enough to jolt me out of my Neco daze. I don’t know how he did it, but I turned into an imbecile whenever he was within five feet of me. You’d think after all these years, I could keep my shit together around him, and yeah, sometimes I could pull it off. But lying in the same bed as him—full grown, super-sized, manly man Neco? Forget it. I was trying to remember how to breathe, let alone string a coherent sentence together.

I mentally shook the shit out of myself.

This was worse than I thought. He really was beating himself up over what happened. So much so, he was trying to keep to some throwaway promise he’d made to me in the hospital. Treating me like the scared, lost little girl I used to be. The little girl who had hated sleeping alone. I could hear Lulu and Hunter moving around now. I needed to get up. I also needed to somehow make it clear to Neco that he didn’t need to do this. Not only for my own damn sanity, but because what had happened to me wasn’t his fault.

“How did you get in here? Does Hunter know you’re here?” I asked instead.

“He knows I’m here.”

His finger moved and I froze. Shit. Shit. Shit. I’d shoved off my sweat pants last night, which only occurred to me this second, the realization like a slap upside the head when the tip of his pinkie finger grazed my bare skin. I was lying here, beside Neco, in my panties, an old T-shirt—and nothing else. My nerve endings sizzled and snapped and I sucked in a sharp breath. The tip of that rough-skinned finger moved again, slid one way, then back, eyes still ensnaring mine.

“Morning,” he said, low, all husky and rough.

Good freaking God.

He didn’t even need to try and he turned me into a puddle of over-excited hormones.

“People generally do the good morning thing first,” I said, babbling, trying to eliminate the intimacy of this whole crazy moment. “Before they say anything else.”

He shrugged. “I’m saying it now.” Another swipe of that fingertip. “How’d you sleep?”

Better than I had in a very long time. “I . . .” I cleared my throat. “I should . . . I need to pee.”

His brow lifted.

I pulled away . . . groaning in pain at the sudden movement, then jerked back to correct myself, and almost flipped off the side of the bed. Neco fisted my shirt, stopping me from eating carpet and adding more bruises to my collection.

“Jesus. Hold still,” he muttered.

“I’m . . .” I gasped. “I’m fine. I’ll just . . .”

“I said don’t fuckin’ move.” He ab curled and my brain went a little fuzzy at the sight of his rippling, dancing muscles. He slid out the end of the bed—he was still wearing his jeans—walked around, and scooped me up. The covers slipped away, flashing my panties. I shoved down my shirt. “Neco!”

“Quit your squawking.” He grabbed my glasses from the bedside table and handed them to me.

I slid them on. “I do not squawk.”

He smirked. “My ringing ears say different.”

I shoved at his chest—ouch—and winced. Note to self. I hated that he was partly right, but I needed to stop with all the jerky movements. I didn’t tell him this, though, instead I said, “Christ. What is it with you guys? I can walk.”

“Looks to me like you can’t even lie down without hurting yourself.”

“Whatever.” Right then, pressed against him like I was, that’s the best I could come up with.

He chuckled and opened the door, walking the short distance to the bathroom. He didn’t stop there though. He walked right on in and set me down in front of the toilet.

My face exploded with molten heat. “To the door would have been sufficient.”

He swiped the pad of his thumb over my overheated cheek. “Wouldn’t have seen you get all red and embarrassed if I did that.”

“I’m not embarrassed,” I lied.

“Yeah, you are.”

“Am not.”

He smirked again. “You wanna stand here and debate this all morning, or pee?”

“Jesus.” I pointed to the door. “Get the hell out of here.”

He chuckled again and walked out, swagger in full effect, shutting the door behind him.

I stared after him.

Who the hell was that masked man? I barely recognized the Neco I’d woken up with this morning. I still couldn’t believe I had woken up with him this morning. I felt like I was in some alternate reality.

I quickly took care of business, washed my face, and brushed my teeth, avoiding looking at myself in the mirror, and then shuffled to the door. My face was still a mess. Every damn color of the rainbow. Looking at myself only served as a reminder of my own stupidity.

I just had to make sure I remembered this change in his attitude toward me was fueled by guilt, nothing more.

He’d get over it and we’d be back to where we’d been before. If I let myself get sucked in by this temporary change in him, I’d only be hurting myself when it came to an end.

And it would end.