KACE. The difference between wanting someone to love you and actually being loved is the difference between black and white. I suppose I could have lived the rest of my life thinking I was being loved; but now that I actually had it, I knew what I had in the past was nothing more than some fucked up form of affection.

Shane and I had been seeing each other for six weeks. In some respects, I felt like I had forced myself into his life. In others, I felt I was invited. After the incident with Josh, I moved in with Shane; in his spare bedroom. It pleased him to look over me and feel like he was protecting me from anything or anyone who might hurt me.

When I thought of the month or so Shane and I spent together before I left Josh, and the six weeks which had followed, it seemed to me like two years of time had passed. I knew more about Shane in this period of time than I ever knew about Josh. Shane was quiet to everyone except Ripp and me. To me, he could talk for hours on end. I liked it when Shane talked to me, it stood as proof he cared about what I thought, wanted, or expected in life.

Shane had not told me that he loved me, but I knew in some sense he did. I could feel it. He wasn’t broken inside like a lot of people are who do not have family, he was just shy. And although he was shy, he was still able to love and be loved. More than anything, I wanted Shane to love me. I wanted to be his, and I wanted him to be mine.

“I couldn’t decide if I liked the five miles better than three or not,” he said as he collapsed on the couch.

I walked over and sat at the edge of the couch beside him.

“Well, you ought to know by now, we’ve been running the five for a month and a half,” I said as I pressed my hands into his shirt.

“Well, there are things about it I like, and things I don’t. I like the amount of time it takes, but I don’t like the speed we run. I’m used to running faster,” he said as he sat up.

“Everything you do is a competition. In your head, you compete with yourself,” I said as I slipped my hands under his shirt and felt his stomach muscles.

“I suppose so. I’m just used to running a mile in a little less than six minutes. We don’t run that fast. You run like a girl,” he chuckled.

“You can’t run five as fast as you run three, and I am a girl,” I laughed as I pushed him backward onto the couch.

As he fell, he pulled me with him. I landed face first on his chest, and he wrapped his arms around me. I pressed my face into his massive chest, smelling his shirt as I buried my nose in between the muscles of his chest.

“I love how you smell when you get out of the shower,” I said as I raised my face from his chest.

“Who’s the most beautiful woman in the world?” he whispered.

I smiled.

“Who?” he whispered as a smile formed on his face.

I love it when he does this.

I pointed to my chest.

“That’s right,” he responded.

His hands massaged my back as I looked into his eyes. His eyes were the strangest color of grey. They were almost a translucent grey/blue. His eyes alone caused me to feel as if I was powerless against him. Combining his personality, sensitive nature, shy quiet demeanor, and the fact that he was muscle from head to toe was enough to push me over the edge.

Every time.

He could take advantage of me at any point in time he preferred; the fact he didn’t made me admire and hate him both. I pushed my hands against his chest and raised my body from his. I looked down at his torso and chest. His tight tank top hugged his muscled torso.

This is freaking ridiculous.

“Why don’t we ever go any further than this, Shane?” I asked as I admired his body.

He raised his hands to his face and covered his cheeks and eyes with his palms. As he rubbed his face, I grabbed his wrists and pulled his hands free and pressed them onto my shoulders. I wanted so desperately to place them on my chest, but I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.

He squinted his eyes and cocked his head to the side, “I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

“We’ve talked about this. Please, take advantage of me. I’m begging you,” I laughed.

He smiled and rolled his eyes.

“It’s not taking advantage of me if I want you to do it,” I said as I held his wrists.

“It is if you’re not ready,” he responded as he squeezed my shoulders lightly.

“I’m ready,” I said.

“I don’t think so,” he tilted his head and responded.

“Why?”

“Because it hasn’t been that long. It’s been seven weeks. That’s it. A codependent woman will attach herself to the first man who presents himself after she gets out of a relationship. I don’t want to be your man out of a feeling of necessity. I want to be your man out of feelings of deep desire,” he said as he began to sit up.

I pushed against his chest, forcing him back to his laying position on the couch. I liked that he let me do silly things to him. As strong as he was, he could keep me from even making him move at all, but he played with me. He let me push him around and play with him. He knew just how to act and what to do to make me feel at ease, and he never made me feel out of place or uncomfortable.

“Lay down,” I said, pointing to his chest with my index finger.

“Yes ma’am,” he responded as he leaned back onto the couch cushions.

“We’re going to talk,” I said.

“Talk. Alright. Get busy,” he chuckled.

“Do you want to make me happy?” I asked.

“Absolutely,” he responded.

“Let’s make progress in this thing we have,” I said.

“This thing…” his voice faded as he raised his eyebrows.

“Yes. I don’t know what to call it. This thing. Let’s go one step further. I want that,” I smiled.

“One step,” he responded with a smirk on his face.

I nodded.

He slid his hands from my shoulders to behind my neck, and slowly pulled my face to his. As his lips parted, I pressed my face hard against his. Kissing Shane was something I could do forever. He once told me everything he did he was great at, and kissing was no exception.

I closed my eyes and held his head in my hands. With our tongues intertwined and our wet lips massaging each other, I got lost in the feeling. Thoughts of the men in my erotica novels ran through my head. I opened my eyes and raised my face from his.

“I want you,” I said, my voice filled with emotion.

“You have me,” he responded as he wiped his lips with the back of his hand.

“No, I want you,” I said.

“Kace, you have me - as much as I’m willing to give. I’m yours. You have all you can get. There is no more,” he said as he started to sit up.

Frustrated, I pushed myself toward the other end of the couch and sat between his legs.

“Don’t get angry, babe. Everything I do, I do for what I believe is best for you. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want anything to develop in this relationship because you’re vulnerable,” he said softly as he sat up.

He ran his fingers through my hair and moved it behind my ear.

“I like seeing your face, Kace. You’re beautiful. Sex can be a manner of expressing one’s love, but by no means is it a method of measuring the love one has for you,” he ran his fingers through my hair and smiled.

“Sex is all we have left, Kace. Don’t look at it as a form of verification or validity to confirm how I feel about you. The fact we’re here together is validity in itself,” he moved closer to me and kissed my forehead.

I wrapped my arms around him, feeling selfish as I did so. He was right. I didn’t need to have sex with him to prove anything. I wanted to have sex with him because I wanted to. I hadn’t had sex for almost four years, and I wanted Shane to fuck me until I couldn’t walk. The fact he held this one act in reserve proved to me he cared more about me than I could ever expect anyone else to.

I was incapable of recalling what sex felt like. I relied solely on the descriptions in the books I read for the memories associated with sex. My memories were false, and they were the scenes from the many books on my Kindle. I lived vicariously through the heroines in my books, and made love to my book boyfriends.

“Okay. I understand better now. It’s just hard,” I admitted as I moved my head closer to his hand.

This man made it difficult for me to do anything but want more. To have someone who was built the way he was one thing in and of itself. His body clearly defied the laws of everything which was human and masculine. He had a small waist and abs that looked as if constructed of a flesh washboard. A massive chest twice as wide as his waist. His arms had muscles along the side of muscles. And he didn’t care. He didn’t flaunt it. He wore a hoodie in the summertime to cover his body, not exposing it for all to see.

He was intelligent. He didn’t speak in a manner I would have expected a boxer to speak. He often thought for some time before he committed to answering a question. When he did answer, be it immediate or after some thought, his answers were clear, concise and well defined.

He was kind, compassionate, considerate, romantic, loving, caring and loyal. For me this combination was proving to be far more than I could take. An alpha male who could destroy a man in a moment for any number of reasons contrary to what he held precious to his system of beliefs.

Yet.

He held a woman close to his chest and made her feel as if she was the most precious person on this earth, as if she had no reason to fear anything when she was in his presence.

Shane Dekkar. A man to define what all men should desire to become.

Perfection, defined.

Perfection is defined in the mind as it sees what stands before it. We compare what it is we now see to what we have seen in the past. This comparison is only based on what experiences we have, and what we have exposed ourselves to. I have had minimal exposure in life, but I am not a fool nor am I foolish. Shane Dekkar, to me, is perfect. I could spend a lifetime exposing myself to the offerings of life, and this would not change. It is not an opinion, it is a fact.

His fingers continued to rake through my hair.

“I’ll give you a lifetime to stop that,” I whispered as I closed my eyes.

“I’ll never stop,” he whispered.

“Promise,” I asked as I opened my eyes.

Softly, he pushed me onto my back, and crawled on top of me. His hands quickly moved into my hair, his fingers raking through it as the massaged my scalp. I closed my eyes again.

“Open your eyes, babe,” he whispered.

I opened my eyes.

“Do you understand how I feel about you?” he asked, his eyes filled with passion.

“Tell me,” I responded as I closed my eyes.

I relaxed as he massaged my scalp with his fingers. He lowered his chest to mine and softly laid his body against me. He positioned his head beside mine and began to whisper in my ear. His warm breath made me shiver as he began to speak.

“Kace, I could spend the rest of my life happy with you, I am certain. I have no reason to believe otherwise. And although I suspect you feel the same way, I do not believe you are able to make a decision regarding a relationship with anyone right now and it be one hundred percent heartfelt, considering what you have been through for the last ten years,” as he paused, I started to speak

“Shhhh,” he said into my ear.

“If you feel the way I suspect you feel, the end result will be the same regardless of when we make the decision to take the next step. It is very important to me that the decision be made by what your heart desires, and not what you think you want. Almost daily, I wish we would have met by different circumstances,” his breath on my neck made me smile a slow smile.

With my eyes still closed tightly, I whispered, “Why different?”

“Well, because. I imagine part, and only part of what you feel – you feel because you believe I saved you. I don’t want you to desire me for that reason. I want you to desire me because of who I am, and what we have to offer each other for a lifetime, not for this moment,” he kissed my neck as he finished speaking.

“So how do you know when it’s time?” I could feel his heart beating against my chest.

“I’ll just know, I imagine,” he responded as his hand touched the side of my face.

“Open your mouth,” he whispered.

My eyes still closed, I slowly parted my lips.

“Stick out your tongue,” he said as he kissed my chin.

I pushed my tongue past my lips.

As his lips encompassed my tongue, I opened my eyes. His left hand moved from my hair to the side of my face. His hands lightly touching each of my cheeks, we continued to kiss. As I studied his eyes, I began to ache for more. I wanted this man with all I had within me. I wanted to feel him inside of me. I wanted to become one – to share and experience each other’s bodies in the way love was defined.

Slowly, he raised his head, kissing my lips as he did so. He moved his hands from my face to my hips. Using the tips of his fingers he lightly lifted my shirt from my shorts, and slid his hands inside my shirt. As they moved across my stomach toward my chest, my breathing stuttered.

Please, please…take me, Shane. Oh God, Squeeze my…

His hands moved between my breasts and pushed flat against my chest. I could feel his pinky fingers against the inside of my breasts.

“Do you feel that?” he asked.

I felt my heart begin to race. My pussy became immediately soaked. This was embarrassing. Exciting, but embarrassing. I felt uncomfortably wet. No, I was soaked.

“What?” it took all I had to mutter that one word.

“Your heart?” he asked softly. His eyes closed as he spoke.

I blinked my eyes, focusing on the feeling of his hands against my breasts. “Yes,” I sighed.

“I want to warn you, Kace. I already told you once, when we first met. But remember what I’m telling you today - mark my words, I’m coming for this. Your heart. Be prepared, because I intend to make it mine. I’m coming for your heart, Kace,” he whispered as his hands pushed softly against my chest.

It’s already yours, Shane.

When the time comes, you’ll know it.

SHANE. “When’s Shortyshowin’ up?” Ripp asked as he tossed the chicken on the grill.

“Any time, but she said not to wait,” I responded.

“Mike Ripton waits for no man. Or woman,” he laughed.

“How much fucking chicken you got, Ripp?”

“Three of em. Shit Dekk, I’ll eat one, she’ll eat a piece, you’ll damn near eat one. That leaves a few pieces to snack on,” he said as he continued to load the grill with chicken.

I thought about it and nodded my head, affirming Ripp’s chicken count.

“So, we’re working into the end of summer, you gonna get them boots before they’re gone?” he laughed as he closed the grill.

I looked down at my boots. Seeing them from this distance, they didn’t look so bad - as long as I looked straight down at the tops of them. The sides and bottom were a different story.

“I’ll never understand ya, Dekk. Weird fucker, you’re probably the only mother fucker in Austin wearing Levi’s and boots today,” he chuckled as he sat down on the lounge chair.

“Probably,” I said as I sat down on the lounge beside him.

“So, I never asked. Your girl drink?” he asked.

I shrugged my shoulders.

“You know, I admire you for not. She ain’t drank here yet. She’s been here for eight or nine Saturdays in a row, hasn’t yet. I didn’t know if she did when you guys went out,” he said as he took a drink from his bottle of beer.

“Hasn’t yet,” I responded.

“Suppose that’s good. I don’t know where you find all the inspiration. But if she doesn’t drink, hell, it’ll be easy for you to keep up the good work,” he laughed as he finished his beer.

“At least the Ultra’s won’t make me fat,” Ripp said as he slapped his hand against his stomach.

“Obviously not,” I said.

“What ya sayin’ Dekk?” he asked.

“Just said it,” I responded.

“I drink too much?” he asked.

“Didn’t say that,” I said.

“What are ya sayin?” he asked.

“Calories are calories,” I said.

“95 a bottle. That’s it. Hell, I drink a dozen of these fuckers, it ain’t gonna hurt me. That’s 1200 calories. So, no big deal. I bet I only drink five or six anyway,” he said.

“1140. But yeah, 95 calories isn’t many. You sure about that?” I asked.

“Fucking smart-ass. The Ultra’s haven’t got much, but damn they taste like it. Want one?” he chuckled.

“No, I’ll stick with this,” I said as I leaned over and grabbed my half-full glass of water from the table at the corner of the deck.

“I’m going in for some ice, need anything?” I asked as I stood up from my chair.

“No, I’m golden,” Ripp said as he stood up.

I’ve enjoyed Ripp’s routine of cooking chicken on Saturdays. It gave me something to look forward to. I’ve always liked routines, and had become almost reliant on the processes I had in place. When they don’t happen for some reason, I feel deprived. I walked into the kitchen and opened the freezer. As I looked into it, I realized that he’d dumped all of the ice I had purchased into his beer cooler.

I reached to the back of the freezer to grab the plastic ice trays. A small plastic Zip-Loc style bag was lying on top of the ice trays. As I picked it up to move it, I realized what it contained.

“Ripp, you sick fucker,” I screamed, knowing he couldn’t hear me.

I tossed the bag to the side and pulled the tray from the freezer. I dumped half of the cubes into my cup and re-filled the tray and my glass with water. I slammed the freezer door, and walked back outside to the deck.

“Ripp, you sick fuck,” I said as I closed the door behind me.

“What’s up, Dekk?” he said over his shoulder as he moved the chicken around on the grill.

“Well, I noticed you used all the ice I bought for one,” I began.

“What’s sick about that?” he chuckled as he closed the lid to the grill.

“Well, nothing. But it was all gone. So I grabbed an ice tray. Well, I started to. There was a Zip-Lock bag on top of the ice, so I grabbed it to move it and…” I paused to see what he had to say.

“And…?” he asked.

“Well? The Zip-Lock bag. What the fuck, Ripp?” I asked.

He shrugged his shoulders, “Dude, I got nothing.”

“The finger, Ripp. It had a finger in it,” I mumbled as I sat down.

“Oh shit, I forgot about that little fucker. It’s been in there for a bit. Let’s get it outta there and look at it,” he said as he wiped his hands on his shorts.

“Dude, I just saw it. I don’t want to see it again,” I complained.

“Well, fuck. I probably ought to get rid of it. Maybe the garbage disposal?’ he asked.

“Hell, I don’t know. It’s kind of small,” I responded.

“Yeah, but it’s frozen. So basically it’s like a piece of ice. It ought to just get ground up and melt in there, huh?” he asked.

“No. Fuck Ripp, it’s meat,” I responded.

He nodded his head slowly, “Yeah, suppose so. Meat and a little piece of bone.”

“Alright, I’m done talking about it,” I said as I rubbed my stomach and made a face like I’d eaten something rotten.

“You beat people half to death, and knock out every son of a bitch under the sun, and you wanna get sick over a little finger. Shit, it ain’t no bigger’n a Vienna sausage,” he laughed.

“I’m done with the finger talk,” I said as I waved my hands in front of my stomach.

“Well, I need to do something with it before your girl finds it,” he said.

“Yeah, no shit. Go do something with it,” I begged.

He walked past me and into the house. In a matter of seconds, he walked back onto the deck. As he shut the door, I turned his direction.

“Well?” I asked.

He held up the finger tip, grasping it between his thumb and forefinger.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I asked.

He opened the lid to the grill and looked inside.

“Ripp, don’t!” I screamed and I started to stand up from the lounge.

“Well fuck, it won’t fit. Come here and look at this. Little fucker’s too small to cook on here. It’ll fall between the little metal bars. Shit. I was just gonna cook it as a joke,” he said as he turned and gave me a disgruntled look.

Still holding the finger in his hand, he closed the lid to the grill. We both turned to the left side of the deck as we heard the gate open. Kace walked through the gate wearing a floral print sun dress. Our eyes widened as we turned and stared at each other.

“Hey,” Kace said as she stepped toward the deck.

We both simultaneously turned toward the open gate. A tall blonde wearing jean shorts and a sleeveless black shirt followed Kace into the yard. They couldn’t have shown up at a worse time, considering the fact we hadn’t resolved the finger issue yet. I looked at Ripp and scrunched my brow.

“Do something with it,” I whispered.

As he noticed the other girl, he quickly shoved the finger into the pocket of his Khaki cargo shorts.

“Hope you don’t mind. I brought my friend,” Kace asked as she stepped onto the deck.

“Not at all. I’m glad you did,” I responded as I turned and looked at Ripp.

As they both stepped onto the deck, Ripp raised his eyebrows and wiped his hands on his shorts.

“Hi. I’m Mike. Mike Ripton. You can call me Ripp, everyone else does,” he said as he walked toward her with his hand held out in front of him.

“I’m Olivia. You can call me Liv. Everyone else does,” she chuckled as she shook Ripp’s hand.

I hugged Kace as Ripp shook her hand. As I kissed her, Liv turned our direction. I reached around Kace’s side and held my hand out.

“Hi, I’m Shane,” I said.

“Yeah, Kace told me about you,” she said as she shook my hand.

“Hope you like chicken,” Ripp said.

“Love it,” Liv responded as she walked toward the grill.

“Uhhm. Want an Ultra?” Ripp asked as he pointed to the beer cooler.

“Yeah, sure. I mean, as long as you have enough,” she responded.

“I always have enough,” he laughed as he leaned toward the cooler and opened the lid.

Kace squeezed me tight and buried her face in my hoodie.

“Hey Shorty,” Ripp said as he waved at Kace.

Without looking, her face buried in my hoodie, Kace raised her hand from my back and waved at Ripp.

“She’s nice,” I whispered into Kace’s ear.

“I told her about Ripp on the way here. She’s the one I told you who works at the coffee shop by the deli,” Kace whispered.

“Aaahhh,” I responded as I turned toward Ripp. He and Liv were talking as he poked at the chicken with the tongs.

“Go grab a platter and stuff, Dekk,” Ripp said as he stood at the grill talking to Liv.

“C’mon, babe. Let’s go inside,” I said as I motioned toward the door.

“So, she’s the girl from the coffee shop on the corner?” I asked as I looked for a platter and plates.

“Uh huh. She’s the one I’ve been talking to you for the last few months about,” she paused and smiled.

“Well, you know,” she shrugged.

“Okay, I was thinking so. She’s single?” I asked.

“Uh huh. Yeah. Her boyfriend was the douche. I told you about him. They broke up a month ago. Something like that,” she responded as I handed her some plates from the cupboard.

I grabbed a large platter, silverware, and a roll of paper towels. With my arms full, I leaned toward Kace and kissed her. As we kissed, she set the plates on the countertop and wrapped her arms around me.

“I like doing this with you, Shane. Cooking. Eating. Being a part of your life beyond just living together. I like this. It’s. It’s, well. It’s like we’re a real couple. I like this,” she said as our lips parted.

“I like it too,” I said as I adjusted the paper towels under my arm.

“I want this. I want this forever,” she said as she picked up the plates.

“I do too,” I responded as I started walking toward the door.

“Then let’s do it. Let’s take that step, Shane. I’m ready,” she said.

“It’s not a contest, babe. It’s life. There’s no time limit. If I’m truly what you think you want, need, and desire it’ll happen sooner or later. I’m not going anywhere. And you’ll wait as long as you have to. I am not going to do this in any manner I’m not comfortable with,” I said as I held the door handle in my hand.

“Well, I’m ready,” She smiled.

“Noted,” I said as I opened the door.

As we walked out onto the deck, Liv and Ripp were sitting on the lounge chair together laughing. Each of them had a beer, and Ripp was trying to catch his breath from laughing.

“Looks like they’re having fun,” I whispered to Kace.

“Oh my God, Kace. He’s funny,” Liv said as she nodded her head toward Ripp.

“He can be,” Kace laughed.

“No, he is,” Liv stated, still laughing.

“I was just telling her about your boots,” Ripp laughed.

I raised one eyebrow and turned toward Ripp as I set the plates and silverware down on the table.

“Well, it’s true,” he said.

“Let me see the bottoms of them,” she asked.

I shook my head and turned up the sole of my boot so she could see the holes. As she leaned over and looked, she gasped.

“Oh my God. Those are awful. You were so right,” she laughed as she slapped Ripp’s leg.

I turned toward Kace and rolled my eyes. As she set the plates down on the table, I sat on the edge of the lounge chair. Kace sat down beside me and leaned over, resting her head on my shoulder. As I wrapped my right arm around her, Ripp stood up and walked toward the grill.

“So, what’s with the hoodie?” Liv asked quizzically.

“What about it?” I responded.

“Well, it’s almost a hundred degrees. You’re wearing a hoodie, boots, and jeans. Don’t you feel out of place?” she asked as she motioned to Ripp and Kace.

I raised my eyebrows, looked at Ripp and Kace, then turned back to face Liv, “No. I don’t.”

“So, why wear it in the summer?”

“Habit I suppose.”

“It’s hot out here,” she said as she fanned her face with her hand.

“Not too bad,” I responded.

“Is there a reason?” she asked.

I thought about her question. I had worn a hoodie every day since as long as I could remember. It had become somewhat of a trademark. As much as I tried to recall, I didn’t really know what started it. Going without one now would make me feel naked. I doubted if I could make it a day without having a hoodie on or available to put on.

“I don’t know. Again, I suppose it’s habit.”

“He always wears one,” Kace said as she lifted her head from my shoulder.

“I’m not trying to be mean, it just seems odd,” Liv said as she stood from the lounge.

“I know two things for sure. Dekk’s one weird fucker. And this chicken’s done,” Ripp said.

Liv grabbed the platter, walked to the grill, and stood behind Ripp. Ripp’s back was about twice as wide as hers. Seeing her stand beside him put them both in perspective regarding size. Ripp was huge and she was exceptionally thin. She reached around Ripp and held the platter at his side.

“Thanks, Liv,” Ripp said as he grabbed the platter.

I looked down at Kace’s. She was smiling as she watched Ripp and Liv. I leaned over and kissed her forehead as she admired them. As she turned her head and looked up at me, I kissed her.

“They’re cute,” she silently mouthed the words.

I blinked my eyes and nodded. She leaned her head against my bicep as she rubbed my thigh. Almost immediately, I began to become aroused. I shifted my left leg and kicked it up on the lounge. No help. I raised my right leg and leaned into the lounge. Damn it. Kace shifted beside me lowered her head onto my shoulder, and began rubbing my thigh again. As she did, she could feel me hardening. Her hand moved to encompass my now swollen cock.

She turned her head and softly whispered into my ear as she squeezed my cock in her hand, “I want this.”

She turned, looked at Ripp and Liv for a short moment, and turned to face me.

“I want it,” she whispered.

I closed my eyes.

She squeezed harder as she stroked her hand back and forth along the bulge in my jeans.

I kicked my legs over the other side of the chair and picked her up in my arms. Her face was filled with surprise as I swept her from the lounge and into my arms. Now standing on the other side of the lounge and holding her in my arms, she looked up at me and smiled.

“Ripp, we’re going in the house for a minute,” I sighed.

Ripp looked up from the grill, “Uhhhm. Alright.”

Still holding Kace in my arms, I leaned toward the door and grabbed the handle. As I opened the door, Kace looked up at me and smiled. I walked into the living room and slowly lowered her onto the couch. As she lay on the couch, I knelt on the floor beside her and lowered my head alongside her hips.

“I want you…” she began to say as she kicked her sandals to the floor.

I pressed my finger to her lips.

“Shhhh.” I said.

“Remember what I told you? About me being good at everything that I do?” I asked as I held my finger over her lips.

She nodded her head and sighed.

“I want you to listen to me, Kace. Listen and try to be quiet. Focus on listening and feeling,” I said as I slid the bottom of her dress up to her hips.

I removed my hoodie and shirt and tossed them over the arm of the couch. I lowered my chin to the inside of her bare thighs, looking up at her eyes as I did. As I reached up and slowly pulled her panties down her thighs, she sighed softly. I tossed her thong on the couch beside her, reached inside her dress, and placed my hands against her waist. I pressed my thumbs lightly into the depression of her hips.

“Shhhh. Listen. I don’t know if I’m a good boxer because I notice all the details, or if I notice all the details because I’m a good boxer,” I slowly licked up her inner thigh, working my way closer to her hips.

“But,” I paused and looked up into her eyes.

“I do notice all the details. Like the day we met in your office. The yogurt cup in the trash. The plastic spoon. The Running magazine you had on your desk. I notice everything.”

I continued to lick my way up her thighs. Half way between her knee and her pussy, I stopped and looked into her eyes again, “We encounter countless people in our lives, Kace. It’s our responsibility to pay attention to who they are and notice how they affect us if we give them the chance. If we don’t pay attention to life’s details, we may miss these opportunities.”

“I know who you are. I know what you do to me. Just having you near me fixes everything that is broken inside of me. All of my fucked up little pieces become one. I become whole when I’m near you. Understand that, Kace. I want you in my life. But one thing I will not do is sacrifice you for the sake of making me happy. You are vulnerable. I will not take advantage of that. Sex, to me, is sacred. If I have sex with someone, I am making the commitment to them and with them that I am willing to have a child with them. To me, it isn’t as simple as sex. It’s a commitment; a big one. If,” I paused and smiled as I thought.

“Yes if the time comes, and I hope it does, I am going to fuck you until you are incapable of simple basic tasks. I’ll even have to remind you how to breathe. For now, Kace,” I ran my tongue along her inner thigh until I was an inch from her pussy.

“Ohhhh God,” she whispered.

“Shhhhh, be quiet. Or you’ll just get excited and blubber foolishness. Tap me once for yes and twice for no,” I reminded her.

“For now, Kace. You’ll wait. You’ll wait until I am convinced whatever we decide to do is in your best interest. But believe me, I want you as bad as you want me. And when we make that commitment - if we do - you better be ready.”

I buried my mouth on her pussy.

As I began to lick her pussy, she started moaning and pressed her hands into my shoulders. I pulled my right hand from her dress, and placed my cupped hand over her mouth. I slid my left hand under her butt cheek and raised her slightly off of the couch. With my tongue now deep inside her pussy, I worked my way to her clit. As my tongue made contact with her it, her body shuddered. I pressed my free hand firm against her mouth to silence her.

She tapped my shoulder once.

Pulling her butt upward, I pushed my mouth against her pussy and my tongue along her clit. I lowered my upper lip, pressing her clit between my lip and tongue. Using the tip of my tongue, I flicked her clit repeatedly and lightly until she began to thrust her hips. As her hips rose high, she screamed into my hand.

“Mmmmmmmm,” her mouth opened and her teeth pressed against the palm of my hand.

She released my shoulder with her right hand and tapped my back once. I continued to torture her clit with my tongue. She moved her hand back into place and squeezed my shoulders. Instinctively, she pulled her hips down into the couch cushion and started to wiggle away from me, pushing my shoulders away from her as she did. I lifted my hand from her face and wiped my mouth.

“Oh my fucking God, Shane,” she said as she scooted across the couch cushions.

Quickly, she made as much distance as she could between us. She sat in the corner of the couch and stared at me as if she had no idea who I was.

Puzzled, I looked at her for a moment. The most beautiful woman in the world looked back at me as if she were in shock.

“Fucking kiss me,” I said.

Immediately, she pounced across the couch and wrapped her arms around me. My hands on either side of her face, we kissed. Her full lips against mine, our tongues slowly searched for satisfaction. With my eyes closed, my mind found pure ecstasy in kissing Kace. Our lips slowly parted. As they did, I bit her lower lip, holding it firmly. She lightly moaned as I clenched it between my teeth. Without saying a word, I let go and slowly stood. As I reached for my shirt, she stared at my upper body.

“Who, Kace? Who’s the most beautiful woman in the world?”

She pointed to her chest, “Me.”

“Yes you are,” I assured her.

Slowly, she shook her head and rolled her eyes.

“I could cum just watching you put on your shirt. You were right. I know it’s been forever and a day, but you do everything perfectly, don’t you?” she sighed as she grabbed her thong.

I smiled and pulled my shirt over my head.

“Fucker,” she said as she pulled her panties over her feet.

As I reached for my hoodie, she slid her legs over the couch and attempted to stand.

“I can’t feel my legs,” she complained as she stood.

“I carried you in, I’ll carry you out,” I said as I zipped up my hoodie.

I reached down, picked her up, and hoisted her tight to my chest. As I carried her toward the door, she reached up and wrapped her arms around my neck. As I reached the door, she grinned, tturned her head, and looked up into my eyes.

“Shane, I don’t know how you’ll know when the time has come. You know, when I’m no longer vulnerable. But when you decide it’s time as you say,” she paused and looked down at the floor.

“I like it rough. Think about that. And you better pray to God that you’re ready,” she said as she looked up.

Kace might only weigh one hundred pounds and barely be five feet tall, but when the time comes…

I’m going to have my hands full.

I know that.