Chapter Seventeen
The next morning at the Centre, the moment Matt saw Zane he had asked how Faith was. When Zane had just said “fine,” Matt had asked if he’d been to see her.
Zane had been forced to admit that he hadn’t. All he’d done was ring her. One brief phone call to say he’d heard about her accident and was sorry. Faith hadn’t been very talkative, and they’d spent five minutes having a strained conversation, mainly talking about the best treatment for Faith’s injured ankle and how long it would take to recover. As he’d clicked his phone off, Zane had genuinely feared that he’d lost her.
And he knew he only had himself to blame. If he’d allowed himself to move on from the past, then he and Faith wouldn’t be in this awful mess.
Later on, as Matt was helping Zane to do some safety checks at the Centre, the door on one of the equipment lockers wouldn’t close properly. Zane kicked it shut with far more force than was necessary.
“So I assume from that little display that you still haven’t been to see Faith. What is going on, Zane? Have you two had a row or something?”
“Forget it, OK?” Zane snapped.
Matt shook his head, moving to stand in front of Zane. “No. I won’t forget it. I’ve seen you guys together these past few weeks. I’ve seen the way you look at each other. Now, she injures her ankle and you haven’t even been to see how she is. Something is obviously wrong. What happened?”
“Just leave it, Matt,” Zane growled, as he began gathering up ropes and climbing equipment. “We’ve still got a lot to get prepared before this next group arrive for their lesson.”
“You do know you’re going to end up losing Faith if you carry on like this, don’t you? Especially if you haven’t told her yet about—”
“Matt.” Zane stopped what he was doing and took a deep breath, briefly closing his eyes.
“Please. Leave it.”
Six hours later Zane locked the door to the activity centre before heading to his car. He’d had a horrible day. Again. Since he’d screwed things up with Faith at the dance, all of his days seemed to be like this. Before turning the ignition key Zane leaned his elbows on the car steering wheel and rested his face in his hands. He knew what he had to do. He had to go and see Faith.
How she reacted would determine what would happen next. Would she give him another chance? And would it be safe to tell her the truth about why he’d rejected her that night? Well, part of the truth, anyway...?
Zane retrieved his phone from his trouser pocket, flipped it open and selected Faith’s number from the call list. Turning up at her doorstep unexpected probably wouldn’t win him any points; he’d better phone her and check if it was OK to call round on his way home.
Fifteen minutes later Zane parked his car on the road at the back of the Coffee Pot. Faith had said he was welcome to call round, which had surprised him in the circumstances. He sat for a few moments, collecting his thoughts. What was he going to say to her? How much was he prepared to tell her?
He still didn’t know the answer to those questions as he knocked on the door to her flat.
“Hi, come in.” Faith smiled politely as she opened the door.
“Thanks. How is the ankle doing now?” he asked, instantly sensing the tension between them.
“Oh, it’s not too bad. Almost completely better. Just a bit achy.”
Zane nodded, standing in her kitchen, his hands in his trouser pockets, feeling awkward. She was wearing green combat trousers and a thin jumper which accentuated her figure and made Zane want to pull her into his arms and just hold her; try to make everything OK. Like he should have done days ago when she’d first hurt herself. He should have been there for her.
“Drink?” Faith asked. “I can do tea, coffee or something stronger.”
“No, nothing, thanks.”
Faith sighed. “Look, Zane. If you’re trying to finish with me, then I’ll make it easy for you. You don’t need to explain anything. If you’re not interested, then—”
In one long stride Zane was next to her, reaching for her hands. “I don’t want to finish with you. I want to try to make things right between us again. I’ve missed you. But after the way I behaved the other night at the dance, I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted nothing more to do with me.”
“What’s going on, Zane?” Faith asked, looking into his eyes. “Why have you been giving me the cold shoulder since that night in the marquee? Did I do something to upset you? If it was that stupid business with Matt, I’ve explained, it was nothing, I swear to you.”
Zane stared at the floor. “It’s difficult to explain. I don’t know where to start.”
“Just try. Please.”
“OK.” Zane sighed. “That night in the marquee I was angry and confused.”
“Confused about us? About me? You made it pretty clear you didn’t want me…”
Faith let the words hang in the air.
Zane put a hand under her chin, gently tilting it up so he could look at her. “I did want you, Faith. I wanted you desperately. You have no idea how much it took to walk away from you. The problem was, I was angry about you and about Matt. Confused about where we stood.”
Faith swallowed. “So what are you confused about, Zane? What do we need to sort to be able to move forward? I swear there’s nothing between Matt and me.”
“I know there’s nothing going on now between you two. But when I saw you at the dance together, and then again when you hurt your ankle and I saw him carrying you to the car, I realised something.”
“Realised what? You said you believe there’s nothing between me and Matt.”
Zane pushed a hand through his hair. “Yes, I do believe that. I’m not proud of this, Faith. I know I’m being unreasonable. At this stage in our lives we all have past relationships, but it’s what happened in the past that I’m struggling with. Look, it’s stupid. I should just go.”
“No,” Faith said, reaching for Zane and slipping a hand into his. “Tell me.”
Zane closed his eyes. “I can’t stand the idea of you and Matt. The two of you together. You guys were childhood sweethearts and then went to uni together. I’m sorry, Faith. I know this is crazy.”
“Hang on. So you’re unhappy about what happened in the past with me and Matt?”
“Yes, like I say, it’s stupid. I know, and I’m sorry. He’s a friend and I work with him, we have a long-term business commitment. I really like you Faith. You have no idea how much, but the idea of you and him together. I’m sorry, Faith. I’m struggling to get my head round it much as I try to. I want to forget but…”
Faith reached up, running the back of her hand down his cheek. “We didn’t.”
Zane looked at her. “Didn’t what?”
“Matt and I never slept together. I promise you, Zane. Matt said he was fine with that, but then I found out he was sleeping with a girl on his course. That was when we broke up.”
“Oh.” Zane felt relief flood through him. But at the same time he was furious with Matt for treating her like that. For hurting her.
“Does that change things between us?” she prompted.
Zane nodded. “For me, yes, definitely. I’m sorry. I know this is totally unreasonable of me to behave like this about you two.”
“It’s OK. I understand. It must be a bit strange. You’ve known each other for years, and I can see how it would be awkward. Are we OK now though?”
“Yes. Sorry. I was being childish.”
Faith smiled. “Actually I think you were being really rather sweet in an old-fashioned kind of way.”
“You think so?” Zane raised his eyebrows, surprised.
“I do.”
“And?” Zane asked, kissing her fingers. “Is that a good thing?”
“Absolutely,” Faith grinned.
“So, are you free on Saturday night?”
“Yes. What did you have in mind?
“How about you come round to the cottage? Matt has finally moved into the rental cottage Emily offered him, so we’ll have the place to ourselves. I’ll make us a meal. Then we can relax.”
Faith nodded. “I’d like that.”
As Zane drove home later he couldn’t stop smiling.