Chapter Thirty-One
Zane wasn’t big on Christmas, but clearly Carleton was. And he had to admit that the switch-on ceremony for the town lights had been pretty spectacular. The town had been packed all day with tourists, day-trippers, and people eager to experience all of the planned festivities. A well-known actor had performed the actual lights switch-on part of the evening, and had made a fairly decent job of it.
Zane knew that a lot of work and planning had gone into making this evening very special. And a huge amount of work had also gone into making the next few weeks special too, enticing in the thousands of tourists who visited Carleton at this time of year specifically for the Christmas celebrations.
He knew Faith had been the driving force behind most of it, and he felt extremely proud of her. Throughout the evening he’d spotted her, caught glimpses, ensuring things were going according to plan, liaising with the people behind the scenes.
The weather had now slipped into winter mode; a complete contrast to the warm days of their November camping trip. It was a chilly night and light snowflakes were drifting in the air, but this hadn’t prevented people from turning out. They were all just muffled up against the elements, as was Faith. She was wearing knee-high boots with jeans and ski jacket and a woolly hat.
On one occasion their eyes had met, and she’d smiled at him. He’d found himself smiling back. He loved the fact she was pretty much running the show tonight, in more ways than one. Yes she was keeping the event on track with her usual professionalism, but, he knew, she was also the one who had invited him here tonight. She was the one who had taken that first step.
He wasn’t sure what the night would bring for the two of them, but he had a pretty good idea how he’d like things to play out. Since she’d issued the invitation, he’d thought long and hard. Part of him wanted to try again and see if they could sort things out. And judging by her invitation, he thought she did too.
“You did a great job tonight. The switch-on celebrations were amazing.”
“Thank you.”
Faith smiled at Zane and sipped her drink.
The party in the pub for the locals had been going strong now for almost an hour, and Zane had been getting mixed signals from Faith. Smiles, the occasional wave in passing, but she hadn’t come over to him. They hadn’t actually spoken. Until now.
He wasn’t sure what she wanted from him. If, indeed, she actually wanted anything. Maybe she’d just invited him because he was part of the local tourism group. Maybe he’d read it all wrong. Either way, he’d decided it was time to go and talk to her.
The trouble was, he didn’t know what to say.
“So,” he began tentatively, “things are going to be pretty hectic for you up to Christmas, with all the planned events for the town you’re involved in.”
Faith took another sip of her drink before replying. “Yes. I’m going to be really busy with work. There won’t be time for much else in the next few weeks.”
She looked up at him, the meaning behind her words clear.
Touché.
She was paying him back for his comment, his excuse, about being too busy for a relationship.
Was that what tonight was about? Was she just playing games with him?
He stared into his drink. “Well, it’s good the weather didn’t put people off tonight. The snow is actually getting quite deep out there now.”
Wonderful, Zane. Win her over with scintillating conversation about the weather.
“I know. It’s lucky it wasn’t snowing quite so badly earlier; otherwise things could have got complicated with the roads, and travel arrangements for people who’ve come some distance.”
“Faith! Come on, we want to buy you another drink.”
Zane watched as Faith was hustled away towards the bar by one of the guys from the pub. She mouthed the word sorry at him before she turned away. He caught the look from the guy who had whisked her away. He felt pretty sure the look said, Tough luck, mate, you had your chance and you blew it.
He was right.
Zane finished his drink and headed for the door.
“Not leaving already are you?”
It was one of the girls who worked in the pub. Sally. A waitress, he seemed to recall.
“You can’t go yet. I was just going to ask if you fancied a dance.”
This was not what he needed right now. He didn’t want to dance, and especially not with this girl. She’d made it obvious a couple of times she was interested in him. He didn’t want to offend her, but at the same time if he agreed to a dance then would she get the wrong idea? And what would Faith think? He glanced across to the bar and saw Faith chatting away with a group of men and women.
On the makeshift dance-floor he spotted Matt, with his arms around a woman he didn’t recognise. He was dancing very close to her. Where was Emily?
Before he knew it Sally had grabbed hold of his hand and was pulling him to the dance-floor. No getting out of it now, not without causing a scene. The record changed to a slow dance and Sally wrapped her arms far too enthusiastically around his neck.
Over her shoulder, Zane saw Matt’s raised eyebrows of surprise. He looked towards the bar and met Faith’s eyes for just a second. It was enough.
She put her unfinished drink down on the bar, said something to the people she was with, then strode towards the door. Horrified, Zane followed her with his eyes. Then, as the door slammed shut behind her, he turned to see Matt looking at him, nodding towards the exit. Matt, his arms still wrapped round the girl he was dancing with, mouthed three words at Zane.
“Go. After. Her.”
“Sorry,” he said, easing himself away from Sally. “I have to go. Thanks for the dance.”
Outside, the earlier snowflakes which had morphed into fully-fledged showers had now grown into a blizzard. Zane reached the steps outside the pub just as a gust of wind sent a swirl of snow into his face. He peered down the street and spotted Faith, fighting the strengthening wind, struggling into her coat as she hurried along the treacherous pavement. The next moment he saw her slip in the snow and land in a heap on the floor.
In a second he was by her side, helping her to her feet. “Are you OK?”
Faith pushed the hood of her jacket out of her eyes and let him help her up, his hands under her arms.
“Stupid weather!” She kicked petulantly at the snow as Zane fought back a smile.
“Are you OK?” he repeated.
“Yes. I think so. Thanks.”
Zane looked down at her footwear. Boots. Dressy leather ones. Not practical ones with a decent tread. No wonder she’d slipped over in these conditions.
“You’re going to be slipping and sliding all over the place in those boots. Can I walk you home?”
He met her gaze and saw the hesitation.
“At least I can help keep you on your feet instead of on your…” He stopped as he saw the look she was giving him. She was clearly torn between embarrassment and bursting out laughing.
“Come on,” he said, linking his arm through hers before she could protest.
It felt good, being this close to her again.
At the bottom of the hill he briefly toyed with slipping himself, seeing if he could engineer some kind of joint tumble in the snow, him pulling her down on top of him. He stole a glance across at her, the wind tugging at her hair which was escaping in curly brown and rather damp tendrils from the sides of the hood of her ski jacket.
Maybe not. Ever practical, he was wearing chunky trail boots which did have a decent grip in snow. She’d know he’d done it on purpose.
“I think the town always looks so pretty at this time of year, with real trees, all lit up along the main street. It looks even more stunning in the snow.” Faith came to a stop. “Isn’t it beautiful?” She waved an arm at their surroundings.
For the first time Zane looked up. He’d been concentrating on keeping them both upright and glancing occasionally at Faith. He hadn’t really taken in the scenes around them.
The main street through Carleton was lined with stone cottages. Each and every one of them now had a real tree outside, either standing in a pot on the pavement or fixed with brackets to the upper storey of the house. Every tree was lit with plain white lights. No garish blue, reds or yellows. Just simple, elegant, white lights. The only other thing dressing the branches was a dusting of snow.
“It is.” Zane swallowed. “And so are you.”
She turned to look at him. Properly look at him. Saying nothing.
He held his breath. A voice in his head was slowly chanting: Kiss her. Kiss her.
Kiss her now, you idiot.
“Thanks.” She stepped away from him.
In that split second, the moment was lost.
He followed her; catching hold of her arm again and they trudged on through the snow until they reached the steps up to her flat. When she tried to release her arm he shook his head. “No, these steps are lethal in this snow and ice; I’ll walk you right to your door.”
At the door she pushed back the hood of her coat. “Thanks for getting me home in one piece.”
Zane nodded. He was still unsure what was happening between the two of them. But the words were out of his mouth before he had time to think about it.
“I don’t suppose you’d fancy going for a drink sometime?”
Faith looked uneasy as she tried to fit her key in the lock whilst still wearing gloves. He gently took the key from her and unlocked the door.
It took her a few seconds to reply. As though she’d really thought carefully about her answer. “I don’t think so, Zane, no thanks. I’m sorry. I miss you. I miss us. But no.”
“Why does the answer have to be a no then?” he asked.
“I miss us. But I need some explanations as to why I went from feeling like everything was perfect between us to having you freeze me out of your life, all in a matter of a few hours.”
“I said. It was work. Things are crazy at the Centre. It wouldn’t have been fair.”
She shook her head. “You found time for us before. What changed?” She fixed him with a determined glare.
“It was just one of those things. I’m sorry.” He shrugged.
Faith pushed the door open and stepped inside her flat, unzipping her coat and running a hand through her hair. “How do I know it won’t happen again? How do I know you won’t suddenly decide you need space or whatever and you just push me away again, like you did before?” She sighed. “I’m sorry, Zane. I thought we were great together. I thought we had something amazing. But I guess you felt otherwise, and you won’t tell me why, or the truth about what went on. So maybe we should leave things the way they are.”
He leaned against the door-frame. “Why did you invite me to the party tonight?”
Faith tugged her coat down her arms and hung it on a peg near the door.
“I don’t know,” she said looking confused. “I wanted you to be there. Thought you should be there. I suppose I wanted to see you. I wanted to invite you.”
“And that’s all? You just wanted to invite me to the party? Nothing else?”
Faith shook her head. “I don’t know. Zane, I don’t know what’s going on with you. Things are brilliant, better than brilliant, between us – and then, after the camping trip, you suddenly freeze me out. But you’re obviously not happy with the idea of me being with anyone else. You were annoyed about me going to the cinema with Matt. You practically pushed Andy out of the way when he came over to talk to me at the café after the tourism meeting. Yet you don’t want to be with me yourself.”
He met her gaze. “You didn’t look very happy when you saw me dancing with Sally tonight at the party. Not that I wanted to dance with her,” he added hastily. “She kind of hijacked me. I’m sorry. I didn’t do it to annoy you. I’m not playing games. Look, I admit I made a mistake. I should have explained things better when I cooled things off between us. I’m so sorry.”
They were still standing in the doorway. The snow swirled around them. Obviously she wasn’t going to invite him in.
“I don’t understand why though, Zane. What happened?”
He stared at the floor. “It’s complicated.”
“I can live with complicated. I just want you to tell me the truth. I need you to be honest with me.”
He looked at her. “Then we might be able to get back together? Is that what you’re saying?”
She nodded. “We might be able to try.”
Zane pushed himself away from the doorframe and stepped back, a gust of wind and swirl of snow buffeting him. “What if you don’t like the truth? Have you thought about that? What if the truth actually finishes us off for good?”
Concern filled Faith’s eyes. “How do you mean? You’re not married too, are you?”
He shook his head. “No. I’m not married.”
“Then what?”
“Can I come in? I think it’s time I tried to explain a few things.”