“Are you sure about this?” Cici asked me, with a doubtful look in her eye. “Have you really thought it all through? I just want to make sure you’re making the right choice for you.”
I stared at her for a second, wide-eyed and shocked, before bursting into peals of almost hysterical laughter. “It’s a bit too late for the ‘cold feet’ speech now, don’t you think? I have the dress on, my hair and makeup has been done, all our families are waiting in the church…”
“Oh no, I didn’t mean marrying Danny, of course that’s the right choice for you.” She rolled her eyes in an overly exaggerated manner. “I think we’ve been through enough drama in that department. No, I meant the garter, are you really sure you want to wear it? It’s a bit of an old-fashioned thing these days, don’t you think? And it’s pink…that doesn’t really go with the rest of your ensemble.”
“No, I know.” I took the lacy material from her and stroked it gently. “But Tegan made it for me, and I don’t want to do anything to mess up that relationship. It’s so new, and while she isn’t here, she still wanted to be a small part of my day.”
Cici carefully stroked her pale, pea-green bridesmaid dress under her butt as she sat down in front of me, and took my hands in hers. “It’s amazing what you’ve done, you know? I think it’s absolutely incredible. Not only did you finally put all that mess with Joe behind you, but you’ve rebuilt things with your mum, started to get on a more even keel with Malcom, and you’ve contacted your half-sister, all while planning a wedding in only six months. Not many people could achieve that much.”
“Well, I suppose when you put it like that it all sounds a lot.” I blushed furiously, but smiled to myself at the same time. “But I just wanted to be proactive. Saying goodbye to Joe—even if it did take him a while to finally get the hint…”
“Yeah, it’s a shame you had to resort to blocking him, but he needs to move on just as much as you have.”
“It all made me see how much wider my family, and my life, could be if I just gave it a chance. Messaging Tegan Paige and meeting up with her for a coffee was only a small step, but I know it’ll lead to great things in the future.”
Again my dad’s face filled my mind, but I wasn’t totally ready to contact him just yet. I was being brave, but taking it all at my own pace to ensure I didn’t overwhelm myself again. I wanted full control of my life now, and that meant doing things at a speed that suited me. Maybe I’d never get there, and that was okay too. As long as I was happy, and right now I was absolutely ecstatic. Nothing could bring my amazing mood down.
“Urgh, I’m so jealous that you’re going to Indonesia tomorrow for your honeymoon, you’re going to have the best time ever.”
“Well, we’re going to need to relax while we can, it’s going to be crazy busy when we get back. Danny will have a whole ream of press conferences to deal with to help him slot back into the band.”
“It’s good they didn’t want to let him go, but do you think Jax will ever be the same again?”
I had faith in Danny, I knew he’d find a way to make it work. He always did the right thing, and this was no different. “They’ll be just fine.” I smirked happily. “I’m not worried at all.”
“So, are you ready?”
I turned to examine my appearance in the mirror, running my eyes down the ivory, lacy dress which burst out at the hips. I checked that the tiara was still in place, completing the princess look, before nodding satisfactorily. I’d spent my whole life feeling plain, not quite good enough, but today I was a beauty, and today I was about to launch into the rest of my amazing life with the man of my dreams.
“I’m ready, maid-of-honour slash temporary-dad-to-walk-me-down-the-aisle. As long as you’re there to hold me upright, I might just be about to get through this.”
She slid her arm through mine reassuringly, and helped me to take that first step forward. The way my heart pumped violently in my chest had absolutely nothing to do with nerves, it was all excitement. I finally felt like me, and that combined with the knowledge that it could only go up from here, was the best emotion in the whole damn world!