“I’ve seen happier faces when I’m talking budgeting for the upcoming year to the members of the board.”

That was my father’s attempt at a joke and I managed a vague smile for him as we sat down to breakfast.

Mom didn’t even attempt to use humor to try to break the ice, but I guess I should have been expecting it. It had been a week since I’d moved back home, and if I looked as glum as I felt, then it was a wonder people didn’t break out into sobs when they saw me.

“Are you ever going to tell us what has you so moody? Or why you left Denver?” Mom asked as she cut into the grapefruit she always ate for breakfast.

I went to brush the question off – as I’d done every day since moving back here – but then I stopped. I had to face the music sooner or later, and avoiding it wasn’t helping. Taking a deep breath, I met my mother’s gaze, then glanced over at Dad. “I broke things off with Aaron. That’s…” I almost lied outright and said that was why I’d left Denver, but in the end, I just hedged a little. “I caught him cheating on me and I ended things. After that…well, I tried to make everything work, but it wasn’t happening. I thought I’d be happier working closer to home.”

Mom’s lips pursed and she sighed. “Darling, what happened?”

“He cheated,” I said, holding up my hands and shrugging. “I told you.”

“That’s not what I meant.” She glanced at my father, her cheeks coloring a bit before she met my eyes once ore. “Men don’t stray unless they have reason. Did you…give him reason?”

My jaw dropped open. “Did I…what?” I demanded.

“Sweetheart, any number of young women make similar mistakes,” she said, speaking in a comforting voice now.

But that came far too late. I didn’t want to be comforted because they thought they could advise me about how to avoid making some mistake I’d made with Aaron.

“The only mistake I made with Aaron was not seeing that he was such a douche earlier on,” I said cuttingly. Laying down the spoon I’d been using to stir my oatmeal, I added, “He cheated – not because of anything I did – unless you count not being there while I was in college, in maybe not asking how high when he said jump.”

I got up then, too mad to see straight.

“Stella,” Dad said, his voice firm.

I stilled, recognizing that tone.

“You won’t speak to your mother that way.”

I jutted my chin up. “What way? Implying that maybe I deserved respect from my boyfriend, and when I didn’t get it, I ended things?” It was the sharpest I’d ever spoken to either of them – and probably the closest I’d ever come to being disrespectful – but I was tired of pretending that their jabs at me didn’t hurt. “I’m not perfect, but I don’t deserve to be treated like trash by my boyfriend.”

Turning on my heel, I strode out of the room, refusing to linger.

If I had, Dad would wear me down, and I would apologize. I knew it.

And I couldn’t do it this time.

I wasn’t wrong and they’d been unfair.

* * *

For the past few days, I’d driven around, dropping off my resume at various firms and advertising agencies, but nobody was looking to hire this close to Christmas. There were only a few weeks left in the year, and it was entirely likely I wouldn’t be able to find a new job until the beginning of the year. Longer, perhaps. They’d call my old job, and once they talked to HR, they’d get the impression that I wasn’t rehireable.

Breanna had offered to be a reference, and she’d told me that at least two others there had promised the same, which was better than nothing. But still, if my former employer – my only significant employer – didn’t consider me to be rehireable, that said quite a bit to a prospective employer.

After the debacle with my parents, I wasn’t up to dealing with the harsh realities of life – or any of the polite but firm, we’re not really looking at hiring at this time responses I’d been getting.

But I wasn’t staying in the house either.

So I left to go see my sister Camilla. I would have loved to have spent a few days with Aunt Millie, but for the past few years, she tended to head south as soon as the temperature dropped below fifty degrees.

I wasn’t certain I’d find much sympathy with Camilla, but visiting Annette was out of the question. She was almost always in campaign mode. And Farah would be at work. She wouldn’t mind a visit, and if her bubbly personality wouldn’t make me feel worse, I could go see her, but I didn’t want to risk running into my parents while I was there.

She’d been working with them almost since she graduated, and my mom and dad rarely let a day go by that they weren’t singing her praises. It was exactly what I didn’t need.

When I arrived at Camilla’s, it was to find the place tastefully decorated like a house out of a Martha Stewart magazine.

If it lacked a little bit of imagination, well…so did Camilla.

She liked the status quo. Change and adventure scared her.

But she was also dependable and honest and wasn’t out to prove how much better her life was than somebody else’s. In short, I could count on her, and I desperately needed a shoulder just then.

She ushered me in out of the cold, and in no time flat, we were sitting down with tea and scones she’d made the day before.

Tea and scones.

It was so Camilla.

If I came over in another week – in the afternoon, of course – it would be hot chocolate and Christmas cookies.

“I take it Mom and Dad are already driving you crazy,” she said as she picked up the scone she’d selected for herself. “You would have waited until the weekend to visit otherwise.”

“What makes you say that?” I sipped at my tea, still cold from the trip from the car to the house.

“Because that’s just you. Why did you leave Colorado? What happened between you and Aaron?” She lifted her own tea cup and took a small drink, sighing in pleasure. As she lowered it, she kept it cradled in her hands.

“I…” Licking my lips, I floundered for an answer. Just tell her what you told Mom and Dad, I thought. “I…well…Aaron cheated on me.”

There. That wasn’t hard.

Then…

“I had an affair with my boss. Well, it wasn’t an affair, really. We made arrangements and decided that it was just sex, but I started having feelings for him…then he fired me. He accused me of embezzling money from the company.”

Camilla blinked at me over the rim of her cup. Slowly, she lowered it down, eyes resting on the delicate china.

She was quiet for so long, I didn’t know if she’d answer.

“Camilla?”

“Wow. When you do something big, you do something big, don’t you?” She laughed a little, like she’d told a funny joke, but whatever it was that had amused her, I couldn’t tell. She took another sip of her tea, then put the cup down. “Exactly why would he accuse you of embezzling? I mean, you wouldn’t do that. It’s not like any of us need the money.”

“Exactly!” I flung up my hands, then let them fall to my lap. Exhaustion battered me, and part of me wished I’d just stayed in bed. It was nice, though, to at least hear my sister’s conviction that I wasn’t a thief. Nibbling on my lip, I shot a look around, then leaned forward. “Can I trust you to keep this to yourself?”

She blinked at me. “Keep what?”

“Camilla!”

“Fine, fine.” She waved a hand at me.

The story came pouring out of me, and it was all I could do to edit some of the details that she would find more shocking. I said nothing about the ways Lukas liked to have sex, nor did I mention that he sometimes beat himself – anything that was personal to him, I kept quiet. But I did tell her we’d struck up a mutually beneficial sexual relationship. Her cheeks had colored when I said it, but she nodded and asked why I’d done it.

I told her the simple truth.

I needed something for me…and I wanted him.

Her response had been, But didn’t you want Aaron?

I hadn’t been able to answer that though.

At the time, I thought I’d wanted Aaron, but since then, whatever emotions I’d felt for him had taken on a lackluster shine, a tarnish of sorts, and I didn’t think it was all entirely due to the fact that I’d found him cheating.

Now, as I finished up telling her about how Lukas had claimed that money was missing and everything seemed to point to me, I had to fight to keep my voice steady. There was this massive ache in my chest and the pain of it was breath-stealing. It hurt so much – too much, in fact. This hurt more than it had when I’d found Aaron with Terri. I didn’t even understand how that was possible. I’d been with Aaron for years. What Lukas and I’d had, it had started just weeks ago.

It wasn’t supposed to be anything more than sex either.

I was the one who’d been foolish enough to let emotions enter the equation.

“And so…I moved back home.” I shrugged, feeling drained now, like I’d run a marathon or something. I had no idea how long I’d been talking. I knew that Camilla had refilled my tea at least once, and my bladder had become a pressing issue, but as my sister studied me, I couldn’t force myself to move yet. “I came home. I didn’t know what else to do. But I miss him. It hurts being away from him. It hurts to think about him.”

“I guess it does. It sounds like you fell for him rather hard,” she said. She leaned back in her chair, a sympathetic smile on her face. “I could have told you something like this would happen. You always have such big dreams, Stella. You always do everything so…big.” She sighed and looked away. “Maybe it’s time to start focusing on reality.”