We kill it at karaoke. Archie, despite his earlier reluctance, is actually a good singer, though he says one performance is more than enough. I get up again, this time with Alice and Carolyn, and by my fourth go I’m warmed up (and wined up) enough for a solo. I’m having an absolute blast. It feels like our uni days all over again, when I was discovering who I was without Mum doing her best to screw me up, or Aunt Dorothy breathing down my neck. Before Mum died, when I was full of life and possibility and hope for the first time. I like this feeling. I love this feeling, and I don’t want it to end. I want to stay in the Royal Oak for ever, existing on white wine spritzers, dry roasted peanuts and the joy of singing.
‘Do you know what?’ Carolyn slings her arm around my shoulders and pulls me in so tight, I may as well be in a headlock. I haven’t been in this position since I had a scrap with Jillian McIver in Year Ten after she called my mum a ‘junkie whore’. I hope Carolyn doesn’t start yanking my hair out.
‘What?’ I ask, propping Carolyn up as she starts to sway.
‘We should audition for The X Factor. You, me and Alice.’ She jabs a finger at each named person (as though I don’t know who we all are). ‘We could be the next Little Mix.’ She gasps and tries to clap, but her hands miss each other by a country mile. ‘We could be Pick “n” Mix!’ She throws her head back and roars with laughter, almost toppling us both off balance. I manage to right her and plonk her down on a stool. ‘I want to be Pick. Do you want to be Mix or “n”?’
Carolyn cracks up again, her shoulders shaking as she slaps her thigh repeatedly.
‘I’ll let Alice decide.’ I wave a hand at my friend, who’s at the bar chatting to the barmaid. She sees me, excuses herself and threads her way over.
‘Your sister is royally pissed.’
Carolyn, still roaring with laughter, thumps her hand down on the table, narrowly missing a small collection of glasses.
‘No kidding.’ Alice crouches down in front of Carolyn. ‘Do you need a bit of fresh air, honey?’ She prises a still giggling Carolyn off the stool and guides her towards the pub’s exit, Carolyn chattering about Pick ‘n’ Mix as they go. Personally, I’m at that happy stage of drunk; merry but not in the Hangover from Hell in the Morning zone. It’s a shame the same can’t be said for Carolyn, who’s looking a little the worse for wear, if you replace ‘little’ with ‘massively’ and ‘worse for wear’ with ‘trollied’. She can barely stand up, let alone walk in a straight line, and Alice is struggling to keep her upright, staggering under the weight of the sister who wants nothing more than to slump to the ground in a heap.
‘Emily.’ Alice grunts as she attempts to haul Carolyn into a fully upright position. ‘I’ll need your help.’
‘Shall I get Piers?’ I ask, my eyes searching for him. The last time I saw Piers, Carolyn was trying to persuade him to remove the stick from his butt and join in the fun, but I can’t see him anywhere now.
‘No!’ Carolyn shakes her head, the movement causing her body to sway dangerously. Alice has to cling on to her to stop her from hitting the deck. ‘No Piersy. He’ll be cross if he sees me like this. I promised I wouldn’t get too drunk tonight.’ She places a hand to her mouth. ‘Whoops.’
‘He’s gone back to the castle already,’ Alice says as I prop up Carolyn’s other side, taking some of the weight off Alice. ‘He wanted an early night.’
‘Another one?’ I stagger as Carolyn lists to the left.
‘His parents are arriving tomorrow.’ Carolyn almost trips over her own foot, sending the three of us staggering, though she doesn’t seem to notice the chaos she is causing. ‘I’m going to be so hungover.’
If Carolyn is worried about this, she masks it well as she starts to giggle again.
‘Come on, let’s go.’ Groaning with the exertion, Alice guides Carolyn out of the pub while I prevent her from stumbling backwards.
We only make it as far as the group of outdoor tables.
‘We can’t do this on our own,’ Alice says as we deposit Carolyn on one of the benches. She slumps against the table, head-down, while Alice and I try to catch our breath.
‘We could call a taxi.’ As I say it, Carolyn slides to the ground, curling herself into the foetal position. ‘But who would take her in that state?’
Alice presses her lips together as she weighs our options up. ‘We need more help. I’ll wait here with Carolyn while you go and get Archie or Teddy.’ She crouches down by Carolyn’s side, frowning as her sister starts to mumble incoherently. ‘Or both, if you can.’
The karaoke session is still in full swing as I head back into the pub, but I can’t find Archie or Teddy anywhere. In fact, the only Durban Castle guests I can see are bridesmaids, Thea (who is currently snogging the face off the karaoke host) and Josephine (who is currently singing a Beautiful South duet by herself). My only other option is Tom, who’s scowling into his pint at the bar. I’d assumed he was starting to lighten up when he’d taken part in the karaoke but obviously not. I approach with trepidation.
‘Um, excuse me, Tom? I know you’re enjoying your pint and everything, but we could really do with your help.’
‘Why?’ He sighs, but he’s already pushing himself away from the bar. ‘What’s happened?’
‘It’s Carolyn.’ I hold up a hand as his eyes widen. ‘Don’t worry, she hasn’t been in an accident or anything. She isn’t hurt.’
‘Then what is it?’
I’ve started to head towards the door and Tom is following. ‘She’s drunk.’
‘Drunk?’ Tom tuts, but continues to follow me outside, where Alice has somehow coaxed Carolyn up into a sitting position, though she’s bent at the middle like an understuffed rag doll.
‘She won’t walk.’ Alice pushes herself up onto her feet and shrugs. ‘I struggled to get her this far off the floor.’
‘I’d get the car, but I’ve had a couple of pints,’ Tom says. ‘But no worries. Come on, sweetie, grab on.’ Scooping Carolyn up off the pavement, he holds her like a groom carrying his new bride across the threshold, except this bride’s head is flung back and her face is covered in streaked mascara. If Tom was the groom, he’d be wishing he’d said ‘I don’t’ right about now.
He sets off at a rather masterful pace, considering he’s carrying a fully grown human in his arms. He makes it all the way up the hill to the castle without breaking a sweat.
‘We’ll take her up to our room,’ Alice says as we head up the stone steps to the main entrance. ‘She doesn’t want Piers to see her like this. I’ll pop a note under his door, so he knows where she is when he wakes up.’
‘Thanks for helping us out,’ I say as Alice jogs ahead up the steps to open the door.
‘No worries.’ If Tom wasn’t holding Carolyn, I’m sure he’d be shrugging his shoulders. ‘I’d be heading this way for home anyway.’
‘Still, it’s kind of you.’
Tom looks down at me in surprise, which isn’t unreasonable since we’ve been a bit spiky with each other these past couple of days. We haven’t got off to the best of starts, and I can’t completely blame Tom. I know I’m not the easiest of people to get to know. Edward used to say part of the attraction in the beginning was the challenge I posed. Looking back now, I suspect I was more of a challenge than even he suspected.
‘Your arms must be aching by now.’ We’re making our way up the carpeted staircase in the entrance hall and I can hear Tom starting to get breathless. He is human after all. ‘Do you think she’ll be able to manage to walk this last bit?’
Tom looks down at Carolyn and shakes his head. ‘I doubt it. She’s playing Sleeping Beauty up here.’
‘Oh.’ Poor Tom must have arm muscles like Popeye on a double dose of spinach after lugging Carolyn’s inert body all this way. ‘It isn’t too far now.’ I pull an apologetic face; Tom must wish he was still propping up the bar at the pub. ‘We’re just to the left.’
‘You’ve started to learn your way around then?’ Tom laughs (sort of. It’s a bit wheezy this far into the journey) when I stick my tongue out at him.
‘You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?’
Tom pretends to mull it over before shaking his head. ‘Nope. Never.’
‘Great.’ We’ve reached the top of the stairs and Alice is already at our room, propping the door open.
‘Put her in my bed.’ She indicates the bed furthest from the door, which must be a bit of a kick in the teeth for Tom. ‘I’m just going to go and leave a note for Piers. I’ll only be a few minutes.’
Working together, Tom and I get Carolyn into bed, removing her shoes before placing the covers over her comatose body.
‘Thanks again.’ I collapse down onto the chair at the dressing table. If I’m exhausted, how must Tom be feeling right now? ‘I don’t know how we would have got her home without you.’
‘It’s fine, really.’ Tom gives a small shrug. ‘Just glad I could help out.’
Now it’s my turn to look surprised. A day ago, I would have bet good money on the fact that Tom would be the most reluctant helper in the pub.
‘Hey, don’t give me that look. We were good friends once, you know.’ He nods at the slumbering Carolyn, who’s started to snore softly.
‘I know, and I have photographic evidence.’ I grab the envelope of old photos. ‘Check out Alice’s hair in this one.’ I flick through the photos to find the Edwina Scissorhands photo, which cracks Tom up.
‘Ssh.’ I put a finger to my mouth and nod towards Carolyn, but even I can’t help giggling.
‘Jeez, look how skinny I am in this one.’ Tom has been looking through the photos, and he passes one to me now. It’s a group shot of Tom and the others, all sunbathing on the lawns behind the castle with the woods just visible in the distance. Tom, wearing nothing but a pair of shorts, has a similar frame to my pal Twiggy.
‘How old were you?’
Tom squints as he calculates. ‘Must have been nineteen. It was the last summer we were all here together, just before…’
The necklace. Before the group was dismantled.
‘It’s a shame you all drifted apart. You look so close in these photos.’
‘We were.’ Tom hands the rest of the photos back to me. ‘Anyway, I’d better get going.’
I get up to see him to the door. ‘Lydia will be wondering where you’ve got to. Just tell her you’ve been out rescuing damsels in distress, again.’
Tom flashes a smile, but it doesn’t make the corners of his eyes crinkle. ‘Goodnight, Emily.’
‘Goodnight, Tom.’ I wait until he’s disappeared down the stairs before I close the door and get ready for bed.
I feel rotten the following morning. My skin is grey, my mouth is dry and tongue furry, and my hair looks like I’ve poured the contents of a well-used deep-fat fryer on top of it. But, as crap as I look and feel, I’m positively blooming compared to Carolyn, who looks like a walking – or rather limping – corpse. I have never seen anyone look so bad who isn’t hammering on death’s door. Not even Mum looked as bad as this during her ‘troubled periods’, as Great Aunt D referred to them.
Alice stretches next to me, almost catapulting me out of the bed. Once she’d returned from delivering the note to Piers, she’d made sure Carolyn was tucked up into her bed with Hubert before bunking in with me. It was a bit of a squeeze in my single bed, so I’d done my best to convince her to vacate it.
‘Don’t you want to be close to Carolyn?’ I’d masked the question with concern for Carolyn, when really I just wanted to retain the ability to sleep in some sort of comfort. ‘You know, just in case?’
In case of what I wasn’t sure, but I was in danger of falling unceremoniously from the bed and landing in a heap on the carpet. There were two in the bed and the little one said bog off back to your own bed, please.
‘No way,’ Alice had said, looking over her shoulder at me (I was the big spoon) as though I was as mad as a box of frogs. ‘I might wake up with sick all down my back and in my hair.’ She shuddered theatrically, but stopped suddenly. ‘Actually, thinking about it…’ She scrabbled from the bed and I smiled Cheshire Cat-like as I stretched out. But Alice didn’t become the little spoon to Carolyn’s big one. She didn’t squeeze herself in the neighbouring bed. Nope, she grabbed Hubert and climbed back into my bed.
‘Don’t want him turning into vomit bear,’ she said as she reached out to switch off the lamp.
So, it was three in the bed and nobody was bogging off.
‘Oh, God.’ There’s a groan from the neighbouring bed as Carolyn attempts to sit up. She doesn’t manage it and slumps back down. ‘How much did I have to drink last night?’
‘Too much,’ Alice says.
‘I feel horrid.’ There’s another groan. ‘What am I doing in here with you guys?’
Taking up Alice’s bed and forcing her to take up half of my tiny space, I reply silently, but know better than to pipe up. Alice and I are sitting up in bed like Bert and Ernie and I fear a swift elbowing if I say it out loud. Having a hangover is making me feel uncharitable. As does the fact Alice farts in her sleep. Loudly and frequently.
‘What do you remember from last night?’ Alice asks her. There’s a pause while Carolyn wracks her brain for details.
‘We went to the pub. Karaoke.’ There’s a giggle. ‘I was awful, but it was fun.’
‘Anything else?’ Alice asks. ‘Do you remember Tom carrying you back here?’
There’s that groan again, though it’s lower and longer this time. ‘He didn’t.’
Alice whips the covers off and slips out of bed. ‘He did, I’m afraid.’
Carolyn’s face disappears underneath her covers. Alice sits on her bed and peels them away. Jeez, Carolyn looks rough. I’m surprised Alice doesn’t yelp and shove the covers back over to hide the damage.
‘No,’ Carolyn groans.
Alice nods. I think she’s actually enjoying being the bearer of bad news. ‘Yes, it’s true. Just ask Emily.’
Carolyn shifts her gaze towards me, wincing at the pain the movement causes. ‘Emily? Is it true?’ She readjusts her features, widening her eyes and biting her bottom lip as she awaits the verdict. Unfortunately, I can’t give her the answer she’s so clearly hankering for.
‘Tom carried you home.’
Carolyn yelps and ducks her head back under the covers, which results in a groan of pain. Alice is in the process of trying to yank the covers off again – but is failing in the battle despite her sister’s delicate state – when there’s a knock at the door. Carolyn’s face appears in a flash, eyes wide again.
‘Do you think it’s Piers?’
I’m not sure if her eyes are popping with hope or fear this time.
‘Maybe.’ Alice hops off the bed and crosses the room, grabbing one of the robes embroidered with the castle’s logo and shoving her arms into its sleeves. ‘Only one way to find out.’
‘Wait!’ Carolyn bounds from the bed, grabbing Alice with one hand and covering her mouth with the other. She’s turned a scarily pale shade and I’m expecting her to make a dash for the loo, but she recovers and slowly lowers the hand. ‘What if it is Piers?’
Alice ties the robe at the waist, battling with Carolyn, who is still clinging to her arm. ‘Then you’ll say good morning and apologise for the state of your face. You seriously need to sort that out.’ Alice wafts a hand in the general direction of her sister’s face.
Carolyn whimpers. ‘Is it really that bad?’
‘Do you want me to be kind or truthful?’
Carolyn whimpers again. ‘Piers’ parents are arriving this morning. I can’t let them see me looking like…’ She stoops to check out her reflection in the dressing-table mirror. ‘Gah! Look at the state of me! I look like… Like…’
There are no words to describe what Carolyn looks like right now. She could be the poster girl for Boozy Britain right now. Don’t drink, kids.
Carolyn whimpers again and sinks onto the end of my bed, finally letting go of Alice and leaving her free to open the door.
‘Tom!’ Alice grins at us over her shoulder. ‘It’s only Tom.’ She turns back to our guest and invites him into the room. I grab my covers with one hand, tugging them up to my chin, and swipe Hubert off the pillow with the other. I may be wearing pyjamas covered in glittery unicorns, but sleeping with a teddy bear is a step too far.
‘Morning.’ Tom lifts his hand up in an awkward wave, his eyes avoiding the bed area. ‘I just thought I’d see how Carolyn is doing before I start work.’
‘Still living,’ Carolyn says, her hand reaching for her head. ‘Just about. I’ve got a mega hangover.’
‘I’m not surprised. You were pretty trashed.’ I’m sure I see the corners of Tom’s lips lifting, but he presses them together and adopts a serious face again.
‘I’m sorry you had to carry me back,’ Carolyn says.
‘Don’t worry about it.’ Tom perches on the end of the bed with Carolyn, resting a hand on her shoulder. ‘I’m used to lugging giant bags of compost around. Carrying you was a breeze in comparison.’
Carolyn seems to cheer up at the thought, a half-smile cracking through and brightening her pallor. ‘Really?’
Tom catches my eye and we both nearly crack up. I press my face into the covers, but Tom manages to soldier on.
‘Really. It was nothing. Anyway…’ I feel his weight shifting off the bed. ‘I just came to see how you are. I’ll get going now. Lots to do before the Big Day.’
‘You’ll have time for a bit of fun, though, won’t you?’ Carolyn asks. ‘We’re playing rounders this afternoon.’
Tom shakes his head, already backing towards the door. ‘I really am super busy.’
‘What about tonight?’ Carolyn asks. ‘We’re having a quiz in the parlour. Do you remember Grandpa’s quizzes? It was easier to win University Challenge than it was getting one of his questions right.’
Tom smiles, but quickly smooths it away. ‘Like I said, I’m really busy.’
‘Please join us.’ Carolyn’s voice is so small, so pleading, even my hardened heart starts to crack. I can’t help but think about the photos on the dressing table, the photos that display the happy little foursome. Whatever pushed them apart can be healed; surely enough time has passed by now.
‘I’ll see what I can do.’ Tom starts to move towards the door. ‘No promises though.’
Carolyn beams as though he’s offered her the world on a plate, but another knock at the door wipes it away in an instant.
‘Hello, you,’ Alice says, leaning over the threshold to kiss our guest on the cheek.
‘Hello, gorgeous. Is Emily here?’
I resist the urge to throw myself under the covers and hide. Although I made a pact with myself to pretend to be interested in Archie to get Little Miss Matchmaker off my back, it’s much more difficult to put into practice than I anticipated when I was a glass or four of wine down last night.
‘Emily, you have a visitor,’ Alice says in an uber-annoying sing-song voice.
I really don’t want to get out of bed in my glittery unicorn pyjamas, but equally I don’t want to have a conversation with Archie while I cower under the covers while our friends watch. So I force myself from the bed, snatching up the other robe and shoving it on as I scuttle towards the door.
‘Hi,’ I say while inwardly cringing about the state I must be in. If I feel like crap, there’s a high chance I look a million times worse. ‘Shall we chat out here?’
Archie looks over my shoulder, where Alice is earwigging at the door. ‘Maybe we should…’ He indicates down the corridor, where there is a narrow seat at the window. It’s still in the corridor, but at least it will afford us a little more privacy. I’d bet my life savings – which admittedly doesn’t amount to a great deal – on the fact Alice will be pressing her ear to the door as soon as it’s closed.
We both manage to perch on the window seat, which overlooks the side of the property and provides a gorgeous view of the village at the bottom of the hill.
‘I’m sorry I didn’t walk you home last night.’ Archie looks a bit sheepish as he takes my hand in his. ‘I’m afraid I was a little… cowardly. I thought you might make me get up and sing again, so I hid out in the loos for a while. By the time I found the courage to come out again, you’d gone.’
‘Oh, Archie, bless you.’ I feel bad that I badgered him to have a go at karaoke last night. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t realise I’d coerced you quite so much.’
‘It’s okay. It’s just…’ Archie looks down at his hand, which is still holding mine. ‘I don’t want to ever let you down.’
‘You haven’t, really.’ I extricate my hand from his grip and stand up, pulling my robe tighter around my body. This is all getting a bit too much. ‘But I need to go back to my room now. I need to work some magic and emerge looking vaguely human again.’
‘Will you have breakfast with me?’ Archie asks as we start to make our way along the corridor.
Despite feeling rough, my stomach grumbles at the thought of food. ‘Sure. I’ll meet you down there in fifteen minutes?’
Fifteen minutes should give me enough time to jump in the shower and change into something non-unicorn-patterned without leaving my stomach feeling totally abandoned.
‘Can’t wait.’ Archie leans across to kiss my cheek before we go our separate ways.