I had a rubbish night’s sleep, tossing and turning while thoughts of Tom, Alice and Archie flashed through my mind. I didn’t go back down to the pool room to continue the hen night revelry as my mind was mashed and I needed a bit of space to think. Unfortunately, my early night has done nothing for me and I’m still as confused as ever.
I must have dropped off at some point, because when I wake just after six, Alice’s bed is empty. There’s a note letting me know she’s had to go off to the bridal suite for wedding prep, but she’ll try and pop back later.
I don’t see Alice until mid-morning, after I’ve showered and tried to eat a stack of fluffy, American-style pancakes. My stomach is churning too much to eat, so I simply push the food around my plate until I give up the pretence and return to my room. I’ve been sitting on the bed ever since, attempting to read the historical romance Tom mocked earlier in the week, but I keep rereading the same two lines over and over again. I’m relieved when I hear the door opening and I can put an end to the charade and put the book down on the bedside table.
‘Hello!’ Alice’s head pops around the door, revealing a mass of giant pink rollers. ‘I have a visitor to see you.’
My stomach churns. I’ve been dreading seeing Archie again now I know what he’s really like behind the charming veneer, but it isn’t Archie who steps into the room behind Alice.
‘Ta da!’ She presents her guest with an elaborate flourish, as though she’s one of the dolly birds from one of the gameshows Aunt D used to watch, showing off the prize up for grabs.
‘What are you doing here?’ I scrabble off the bed and pull Kevin into a hug, which surprises us both as I’m not always the most tactile of people. I think this is the most contact I’ve had with my colleague, but I’m so pleased to see a familiar face.
‘I phoned him last night and asked him to come.’ Alice wraps her arm around his waist and kisses his cheek. ‘I missed him too much, and he should be here. You were right.’
‘I was?’
Alice nods. ‘I can’t risk losing him. It’s time I was brave and faced my family. Kevin will no longer be my dirty secret.’ She grins at Kevin’s mock-outraged face. ‘We’re going to live happily ever after, mister. Now we just have to convince Emily to do the same.’
I open my mouth to speak, but there’s a knock at the door and Carolyn barges her way into the room with a heavy sigh.
‘Thank God you’re here. Can I hide out in your room for a bit? Francelia is doing my head in. She’s like a woman possessed! I only managed to escape because she was too distracted by her to-do list within her to-do list.’ She holds up the bottle she’s carrying in her hand. ‘I have champagne. Good stuff too. Ooh, hello. Who is this?’ Carolyn appraises Kevin before turning to me with her eyes wide and her lips pressed together. ‘You sly horse, Emily. You never mentioned you had a friend.’
‘Oh no.’ I shake my head emphatically. ‘He isn’t…’ My eyes flit from Alice to Kevin and back again, willing one of them to step in and help a girl out. ‘He’s nothing to do with me.’
Kevin laughs as he dumps his overnight bag on Alice’s bed. ‘Charming. You know, you could really dent a guy’s ego.’ He takes a step towards Carolyn and holds out a hand. ‘I’m Kevin Jackson.’
‘He’s my boyfriend.’
All eyes turn to Alice. All of them are wide saucers of shock.
‘Your boyfriend?’ Carolyn is the first to speak. ‘Since when do you have a boyfriend?’
Alice is toying with the rollers in her hair and doing her best to avoid eye contact with any of us. ‘Since last summer?’ The answer comes out as a question, as though Carolyn would know.
‘Last summer?’ Carolyn sucks in a breath. ‘Why am I only hearing about this now?’
‘I thought Francelia might stick her beak in and ruin it for me.’ Alice finally looks at Kevin, checking his reaction. He doesn’t look happy, but he also doesn’t appear to be hopping mad. He’s heard it all before, though I don’t think he quite gets the dynamic between Alice and her family. I’m not sure I get it entirely myself, but what do I know about how a family should function? ‘You know what she’s like. She’s always interfering to the point we end up splitting up.’
‘But I’m not Francelia.’ Carolyn’s eyebrows are pulled down low, her mouth a straight line. The delighted Carolyn of a few moments ago has vanished before our eyes. ‘You could have told me. I’m your sister. We tell each other everything.’
Alice looks pained. She opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes out, so she closes it again. Carolyn takes Alice’s hands in hers and gives them a squeeze.
‘Don’t let her take this away from you. You deserve to be happy.’ She releases her grip and turns to Kevin, extending a hand. ‘Hello, Kevin. Welcome to the family.’
‘Get out while you can,’ I say out of the corner of my mouth. ‘They’re all crackers.’
Everybody laughs, though I’m not sure I was joking.
‘Hello, Carolyn. I’ve heard all about you. Sorry about crashing your wedding.’
Carolyn waves his words away. ‘The more the merrier. I’m sure we can find room for my sister’s boyfriend. Shall we have a little celebratory drink?’ She waggles the bottle of champagne. ‘But just a little one, to settle my nerves.’ She bites her lip. ‘You won’t let me get pissed, will you, girls?’
Alice takes the bottle. ‘One small glass. That’s it. No more shall pass our lips. Right, Emily?’
I’m only allowed a small glass too?
I never agreed to that.
‘One small glass,’ I say begrudgingly. I’m sure I can work my way through the rest of the bottle when they leave to get ready for the wedding, because Francelia absolutely will catch up with them eventually.
‘We need glasses.’ Alice places the bottle down on the dressing table. ‘Someone will have to go down to the kitchen without getting caught by Francelia.’ She gives a decisive nod. ‘I will accept this mission. I’m feeling brave today.’ She grins at Kevin before scurrying down to the kitchen.
‘What took you so long to get here?’ Alice asks once the drinks have been poured. We each have what must amount to a thimbleful of champagne in our glasses.
Kevin rolls his eyes. ‘I had to endure forty minutes with Mrs Hodgkinson from next door. I only popped round to ask if she’d keep an eye on Carrot, but I ended up being roped into tea. And cake. And more tea.’ Kevin shrugs and tips the tiny measure of champagne down his throat. ‘It wasn’t so bad, actually. Even if I did have to hear all about her hanging baskets of Babylon for eternity.’
‘Poor baby.’ Alice starts to stroke Kevin’s face, but she jumps back when there’s a sharp rap at the door. Alice and Carolyn share a look of resignation, and their fears are confirmed when Alice opens the door.
‘There you are.’ I almost expect to see a bolt of lightning flash above Francelia as she stands in the doorway, her face even more stony than usual. ‘The stylist has been waiting for you for twenty minutes. Come!’ She’s so busy ticking the task off her agenda she doesn’t seem to notice Kevin at all. It’s the perfect opportunity for Alice to draw attention to him and make the introductions, but she keeps schtum.
‘Come. On.’ Francelia sighs as she aims a death glare at Carolyn. ‘You.’ She points at Alice with her pen. ‘You need to be down in the bridal suite in ten minutes. Got it?’
‘Yes, ma’am.’ Alice salutes, but quickly removes her hand as Francelia’s glare turns glacial. ‘Sorry. I’ll be there.’ She grabs hold of Kevin’s hand once Francelia has marched from the room, Carolyn scuttling behind her. ‘I’m so sorry. I chickened out.’
‘I can see why.’ Kevin puffs out his cheeks. ‘Man, she’s scary when she wants to be.’
‘I will tell them, soon.’ Alice wraps her arms around Kevin’s waist and pulls him in. ‘I promise.’
I excuse myself and slip into the bathroom as they start to kiss, sneaking the bottle of champagne in with me and pouring another cheeky glass.
I can hear the organ music as I hover outside the chapel. I look the part of wedding guest in my navy-blue, layered shift dress and metallic strappy sandals, my hair gathered into a messy but chic bun, but I feel like a fraud. My fingers reach for the bow detail to the side of the halterneck collar, twitching nervously at the material. It didn’t occur to me until I arrived at the chapel that I was going to have to attend this wedding solo. Alice, as bridesmaid, will be on duty at the front, and Kevin is already inside, sandwiched between Carolyn’s old friends as she’s told everyone he’s a friend from work, someone who’d been on the same training scheme in Denmark (which would explain why nobody had met him before). As a ‘friend of Carolyn’, he’s further up the hierarchy of guests than I am, and is sitting accordingly. I plan to sneak into the back pew and hope nobody pays any attention to Billy-No-Mates, but I haven’t gathered the courage to step inside yet.
I’m still dithering when Archie approaches, but his gaze doesn’t even flicker towards me. He saunters towards the chapel’s doors with the neutral air of a catwalk model. The great knobhead.
‘Hello, Emily.’
I look over my shoulder and see Tom striding towards me. I feel my eyes widening but put a stop to it immediately. He looks so good in a navy, three-piece suit tailored to perfection.
‘Hi,’ I manage to squeak.
What the hell is wrong with me? It isn’t as though I haven’t seen a handsome man in a suit before! I need to pull myself together.
‘I’m sorry about last night.’ He looks down at the floor, but I can see his face has started to flush.
‘It’s okay.’
After his revelations in the library last night, Archie had excused him swiftly, so even if I’d wanted to confess all about Archie, I wouldn’t have been able to.
‘I was a bit embarrassed. I think I broke the speed of light as I legged it back to the cottage.’
‘You didn’t go to the poker game?’
Tom shakes his head. ‘I wasn’t in the mood. Probably saved myself a few quid though. My poker face sucks.’
‘I don’t know about that.’ I feel a cheeky grin starting to spread across my face. ‘You certainly fooled me into thinking you were a grouchy sod.’
‘Hey!’ Luckily, Tom laughs before he indicates the chapel’s doors. ‘Shall we?’
We head into the chapel, where organ music is playing over the murmur of several conversations. Pink and white flowers sit at the end of each pew, bound together by silky, candyfloss-coloured ribbons that spill down to the floor. Candles flicker throughout the room, creating a soft glow, while white fairy lights twinkle from floral arrangements and glass-jar lanterns. Petals are scattered on the floor of the chapel, forming softness and warmth against the hard, cool stone. It feels like I’ve stepped right into the pages of my fairy tales book.
‘Wow.’ I am a child again, staring with wonder at the vaulted ceiling as ribbons drape from the beams, twinkling with the fairy lights threaded along their length. I’m mesmerised by the magic of it all.
‘Impressive, isn’t it?’ I’d forgotten Tom was there, despite practically salivating over his tailored suit just moments ago. He’s right behind me, his breath on my bare shoulder as he stoops to whisper. My insides turn to mush, but I tell them to get a grip.
‘She’s done a good job,’ Tom is saying while I’m having an inner battle with my insides. ‘Francelia hates it, obviously. I heard them arguing about it when they came to have a look around the chapel a few months ago, but Carolyn put her foot down. Says it’s the only wedding she’s ever going to have so she wants it to be perfect and just how she imagined her wedding would be when she was a little girl.’
I nod. This is certainly it. This is the kind of place I imagined starting my happily ever after with my Prince Charming.
‘Shall we sit?’ Tom asks. I’m still gawping up at the twinkly lights, hypnotised and delighted all at once. ‘We’re creating a backlog.’
I turn away from the entrancing lights and see that Tom is right. Behind us, huffing and tutting, is a line of women in ridiculous, over-the-top hats. I step aside, and they glide past, flashing contemptuous looks as they go. They aren’t bothered in the slightest about the effort Carolyn has gone to – they just want the best seats.
‘Where are you going?’ Tom asks as I start to back away. He frowns when I indicate the back row, empty of guests so far. Friends and family have squeezed onto the first few rows of pews, but I am neither. Not really. I knew I’d end up feeling like a gatecrasher and my skin prickles uncomfortably. I’d quite like to sneak out of the chapel and hide in my room. I wonder if Alice would notice my absence…
‘Archie’s over there.’ Tom points towards the front of the chapel.
‘I’d rather sit on my own than with Archie,’ I say, and Tom’s frown deepens. ‘I mean, he’s sitting with his family, and I barely know them. I’d feel awkward.’
There I go with the fibs again. I’m my own worst enemy!
‘Sit with me then. Please? I don’t really know anyone other than Carolyn, Alice and Archie, and we haven’t seen each other for years. I’d feel more comfortable if you were with me.’
I’m sceptical (default setting – hard to break). Does he really feel uncomfortable, or is he saying that just to make me feel less awkward? Is he giving me a purpose, so I don’t feel like I’m intruding?
‘Or we could both sit at the back?’ Tom’s eyes flick to the empty row. He looks quite taken with the idea. ‘We wouldn’t have to join in the hymns then.’
Now he’s talking my language.
There’s a low hum of voices as we sit down on the back pew, but it suddenly stops as the organ starts to play the wedding march. We all turn to the back of the chapel as the doors open. Alice and the other bridesmaids are framed by heavy oak, and I can see her eyes darting among the congregation for Kevin, noting the exact moment she spots him as the smile spreads wide across her face.
Alice and the other bridesmaids start to glide down the aisle, followed by the star of the show. Carolyn looks radiant in her simple, knee-length dress, a pretty bouquet of candyfloss dahlias, raspberry gerberas and white calla lilies clutched to her chest. Her strawberry-blonde hair is twisted into a thick plait to one side, with a single pink gerbera tucked behind the ear, and she’s wearing soft, natural-looking make-up with just the tiniest hint of sparkle to her lids. She looks like a garden nymph, totally serene as she glances up at her father.
I watch as she makes her way towards Piers, and I can see their beams as they meet at the altar, even from all the way back here. All their differences, Carolyn’s chalk to Piers’ cheese, seem to melt away as they gaze at each other and take their vows. While I once thought they were incompatible, I now see I was wrong. They are a perfect match, because they love each other for who they are and don’t feel the need to change the other to fit their idea of perfection.
Nobody is perfect, especially not me. I just hope I can convince Tom that my flaws don’t have to mean the end of a potentially amazing relationship before it’s even begun.