Alice sweeps me around the room, introducing me to eligible bachelor after eligible bachelor, each seeming more weird or pompous than the last. My feet are aching and I’m in dire need of a Poison Apple top-up, but there’s no stopping my friend in her mission to pair me up. We’ve devised a clever code, so as not to hurt any feelings – Alice’s idea, not mine – where Alice, after initiating a little get-to-know-you session between us, will ask if I’d like a drink. If I say, ‘no, I’m fine, thanks’, I’m giving the guy the thumbs up and Alice will slink away. If I say, ‘yes, let’s go to the bar!’, I’m giving a definite thumbs down and off we toddle.
Alice isn’t deterred in the slightest that I’ve rejected each and every one of them.
We’ve yet to make it back to the bar, though.
‘You have got to meet my second cousin, Owen. He’s a little camp, but if you believe the gossip, he’s totally into women and isn’t lacking in that department.’ Alice doesn’t even have to tug on my hand; I’ve become completely resigned to her mission and stopped fighting it several eligible bachelors ago. My aim for the evening is to play along with her meet and greets, ignoring my poor, throbbing feet, until I can feign exhaustion and crawl into bed.
‘Alice!’ Before we can make it to Owen – who, I can already tell, even from a distance, is way more than a little camp – we’re derailed by Francelia. I never thought I’d be so glad to see the woman, but she’s like my guardian angel, swooping in to save me from another matchmaking attempt. ‘Have you seen Carolyn? She’s had a little tiff with Piers, apparently, and I need to make sure they smooth things over. Nothing is going to ruin this wedding after all the effort I’ve put in.’
‘I haven’t seen her.’ Alice starts to wring her hands while her eyes dart around the crowded room. ‘What was the row about? Nothing major, I hope?’
Francelia throws her hands up in the air. ‘Goodness knows! You know how dramatic your sister can be.’
‘Carolyn isn’t…’ Alice starts to say, but Francelia isn’t listening. She sighs and brings a hand up to rest on her unnaturally smooth forehead.
‘Do you realise how stressful planning a wedding is? No, of course you don’t. What a ridiculous question! You’d need an actual engagement for that. Or a boyfriend at the very least.’ She sighs again and clamps a hand down on her hip. ‘I heard there was a bit of a scene at dinner. Can you please keep yourself out of trouble? You don’t want to embarrass your father and I, do you?’
Alice opens her mouth to speak – to defend herself – but Francelia is already striding away.
‘Right.’ Alice does a good job of faking cheer as she turns to me, smile fixed in place, head held high. ‘Let’s go and find your Prince Charming.’
I want to say no thank you, let’s not. I want to say I’m too knackered to have another lap of the ballroom. I want to kick off my shoes and curl up in bed. But I don’t do any of these things. I can’t. Not after Francelia’s little dig. Because as jolly as Alice appears to be, I know she isn’t. So, grudgingly, I decide to go along with it for just a little bit longer.
I’m ready for calling it quits when Alice suddenly squeals, grabs my hand and pulls me away from the second or third cousin (they’re all blending together into one boring mass by now) I’ve been listening to drone on and on for the past ten minutes (is that all it was? It felt like much longer, believe me). I’m mid-fake laugh as I’m wrenched away and plonked in front of Archie, the star of the show as far as Alice is concerned.
‘There you are!’ Alice throws her arms around Archie and gives him a tight squeeze. ‘We’ve been looking for you everywhere. It’s so good to see you!’
‘It’s good to see you too.’ Archie steps back so Alice is at arm’s length, though they’re still grasping one another. ‘It’s been too long. I’ve missed you.’ Archie adopts a stern voice, his head dipping towards Alice. ‘You shouldn’t have stayed away.’
Alice squirms out of his grasp and looks down at the floor. ‘I know, but all that stuff with the necklace…’
‘Hey.’ Archie cups Alice’s chin and brings her gaze back up to his. ‘Everyone who matters believed you. Carolyn, Tom, me. We know you’d never do anything like that.’
Alice nods, but she doesn’t look any happier.
‘Come here.’ Archie opens his arms and Alice falls into them, resting her cheek on his chest. He drops a kiss on the top of her head. ‘I really have missed you, Alice in Wonderland.’
Alice in Wonderland?
Archie catches my eye over the top of Alice’s head and smiles. ‘It was our nickname for Alice when we were kids.’
Alice giggles as she straightens. ‘I’d forgotten about that, Archibald the Great.’
Archie holds up his hands as he says to me, ‘That wasn’t my choice. I’m not that egotistical.’
‘Not like Queen Carolyn,’ Alice says with a giggle. ‘She insisted on that one.’
‘We’ll have to think of a nickname for you,’ Archie tells me. ‘If you’re to become part of the gang.’
Alice widens her eyes at me, her hands clasped and her lips pressing together in an attempt to keep her excitement locked in. I suppose it is quite sweet that Archie is inviting me into their little group.
‘As long as it’s something complimentary,’ I say.
‘Of course.’ Archie nudges Alice. ‘We only give the non-complimentary names to those who truly deserve them.’
Alice claps a hand over her mouth, her eyes widening. ‘The Goblin!’ She and Archie giggle at the shared memory. ‘The Goblin was the name we gave to Francelia, though we never told her that, obviously.’
Alice and Archie share more tales of their childhood at the castle: playing truth or dare, hiding out in the woods, swiping booze from the drinks cabinet and concocting disgusting cocktails when they were in their early teens, late-night dips in the pool.
‘We should do that now,’ Archie says.
‘What, go swimming?’ Alice asks. ‘Now?’
Archie nods. ‘It’ll be much more fun now Uncle Ned has updated the place. The pool is heated now, and there’s a hot tub and everything. What do you say?’
Alice looks at me and I shrug. ‘Why not?’
A swim would be more fun than standing around the ballroom for two reasons:
1) I can take my shoes off, which are seriously killing me and
2) It would mean there would be no more meet and greets for the time being.
‘Great!’ Archie claps his hands together. ‘Go and grab your stuff and I’ll meet you there.’
The pool room is clearly not an original feature of the building. Where the rest of the castle is in keeping with its heritage, this glass-walled room is modern, with clean lines and bright lighting. The large pool in the centre of the room is clear and inviting, with wide steps leading down to the water, which is tinted from the turquoise tiles. There are sunloungers lined up along the length of the pool, with shower facilities and a hot tub at the head. Archie is already in the pool when Alice and I arrive, and he crawls leisurely across the water as we remove our cover-ups and flip-flops, leaning against the pool’s wall when he reaches us.
‘This is so much better than the old pool,’ he says.
‘It couldn’t have been worse.’ Alice pulls her broderie anglaise kaftan over her head and tosses it onto a nearby sunlounger. ‘The old one gave us frostbite.’
‘Wow.’ Archie’s eyebrows lift as Alice dips her toe into the water. ‘You’re looking good these days, Al. I remember when you were a flat-chested teenager with puppy fat.’
Alice does look amazing. She’s wearing one of the bikinis from Daisy Lane, the company she works as a buyer for, which cost at least three times the amount of my supermarket one-piece.
‘Oi.’ Alice slips into the water and splashes Archie. ‘I did not have puppy fat.’ She glides through the water for a moment before turning and floating on her back.
‘Aunt Francelia says you’re the head of a boutique chain of shops now,’ Archie says as I lower myself down the steps and into the water.
‘Oh, for God’s sake.’ Alice sighs and looks briefly at Archie before returning her gaze to the glass vaulted ceiling. Although the pool room is flooded with light, it’s now pitch-black outside. ‘I am not the head of anything. I’m an underwear buyer for a chain of high street shops.’
Daisy Lane may be on the high street, but it isn’t your everyday kind of outlet. It’s pretty niche with its astronomical prices for what are essentially tiny scraps of silk, cotton and lace.
I do not point this out. I’m smarter than that.
‘It sounds like you’re doing well though,’ Archie says.
Alice nods. ‘I get by.’ Although Alice’s family are rolling in it, her father has never provided her with any assistance other than the house we live in, and even then it was only ever a loan and Alice is now responsible for the mortgage repayments. He could have bought it outright, but Alice’s father has never wanted to hand anything over to his daughters.
‘He’s tighter than a camel’s arse in a sandstorm,’ Alice once told me.
Roderick Monroe is tight with money and even tighter with love.
‘And I do love my job,’ Alice adds now.
‘Lucky you,’ Archie says with a sigh.
‘Don’t you enjoy your work?’
‘It has its perks.’ Archie leans back to float on his back too. ‘Company car, private healthcare, a four-week sabbatical every year, free use of their villa in the south of France. But it’s stressful.’ He flips back onto his front as I approach. ‘What do you do, Emily?’ I tell Archie about my teaching job. ‘Quite a vocation. I couldn’t do it, so hats off to you.’
I bask in the compliment. Teaching can be difficult at times, and I’m often glad I don’t have kids of my own when I’ve had to deal with a particularly bratty kid, but I do love my job. Not that I’m itching for the summer holidays to end. I’m going to enjoy this week of leisure before I have to start thinking about teaching plans, classroom displays and the impending GCSE results of my former Year 11 pupils.
‘What is it you do?’ I quite like the sound of the perks, especially the villa in the south of France.
Archie scrunches up his nose. ‘Nothing as worthy as teaching, I’m afraid. I’m a management consultant.’
‘That sounds interesting.’
I have no idea what a management consultant is.
Archie laughs. ‘It really, really isn’t. I wish I’d been more like you and followed my dreams. I wanted to be an astronaut when I was younger. I’m fascinated by space and the possibilities of what’s out there.’ He lies back again, floating on the water so he can look up at the sky.
‘Why didn’t you say?’ Alice asks with a wide grin. ‘I’d have funded a one-way ticket into space for you.’
Archie laughs. ‘This is what I’ve missed most about you, Al – your ability to make me feel warm and loved.’
Alice opens her mouth to speak, but the heavy doors swing open behind us and we turn to see Carolyn wobbling precariously close to the edge of the pool in her heels. She’s fully dressed in the outfit she wore for dinner and the dancing afterwards.
‘Queen Carolyn!’ Archie starts to swim towards the edge of the pool. ‘Come and join us.’
I don’t think that’s a very good idea. Carolyn throws her hands up in the air, which causes her to wobble a bit more. She’s clearly sloshed and I can see her taking an unexpected dive into the water.
‘I’ve been looking for you everywhere, Alice.’ Carolyn jabs a finger in Alice’s general direction and stumbles forward, the toes of one shoe landing beyond the edge of the pool. To take herself away from the danger of taking a splash, she takes a couple of steps back, colliding with a sunlounger, and ends up in a half-sitting, half-lying position on Alice’s towel.
‘Are you okay?’ Alice is already swimming back towards the pool’s steps. ‘What’s happened?’
‘I’m fine.’ Carolyn attempts to sit up properly but can’t quite manage it. In the end, she sprawls out on the sunlounger until Alice emerges from the pool and helps her to sit up.
‘I just wanted to dance,’ Carolyn says as Alice manages to prise the towel from under her sister’s bum. ‘I wanted to practise for the wedding. For our first dance. That’s why I booked the band.’ Carolyn sighs. ‘But he wouldn’t dance with me.’
‘Piers wouldn’t?’ Alice wraps the towel around her middle as Carolyn shakes her head, over and over again. ‘Maybe you should have a little sleep. Get some rest ready for tomorrow.’
Carolyn shakes her head again, over and over. My head aches just watching her. ‘I don’t want to sleep. I want to snuggle up and watch a film with hot chocolates. Like we used to. Will you come with me?’
Alice looks from Carolyn to me, a small frown on her face.
‘It’s okay,’ I tell her. ‘You go with Carolyn. I’ll be fine here.’
‘Are you sure? I can put Carolyn to bed and come back.’
‘No bed!’ Carolyn throws her hands up again and the sudden movement sends her toppling back down onto the sunlounger.
‘It’s fine, really,’ I tell Alice. ‘Go and snuggle and watch your film. I’ll get out in a few minutes anyway.’
‘You’ll look after Emily, won’t you?’ Alice asks Archie, and I see a flash of mischief in her eyes.
‘Of course. I’ll personally escort the lady back to your room.’ Which is lucky as I don’t know my way around the castle yet and could easily find myself lost and wandering the corridors all night.
Alice grabs her kaftan, tucking it under one arm so both hands are free to haul Carolyn up from the sunlounger. She gives me one last look before guiding her sister out of the pool room, winking before she disappears out of the doors, leaving Archie and me alone.