Adley

I'm sitting in the darkness in Crew's apartment. It's nearing nine o'clock. I didn't go to the hospital at seven. There wasn’t any need to. My intention, when I told him to meet me there was simple. I wanted to ease the burden that he's been carrying for years. I don't know exactly what happened between him and his dad, but I know that their relationship is nothing like the one I have with my own father.

I wanted to meet Eli, and sing Crew's praises and maybe, just maybe, repair part of what's been broken.

I didn't get my chance.

Eli Benton took his last breath at one minute after five with his wife by his side.

Crew texted me to tell me. It was direct and to the point.

Eli is dead.

I was just leaving work, on legs that were still wobbly after my encounter with Damaris.

Her words shook me to my core.

I went back into the clinic after Tilly called me in and threw my mind and body into my job. I helped hold down a Saint Bernard that was in the clinic because of a splinter in its paw. It cried out when Dr. Hunt yanked the thing piece of wood out. I cried too and everyone assumed it was my caring nature on display yet again.

They were wrong. I was crying for the twenty-one-year-old girl who walked into a sex club because her boyfriend wanted it more than anything.

I hear Crew's key in the lock, but I don't turn from where I'm sitting on his sofa, my feet resting on the edge of the coffee table.

I came here straight from work because I wanted to be close to him. I knew he'd go to the hospital and spend time with his family. I didn't want to intrude. Grief is a private process for some. I know it is for Crew.

I took a shower, threw my scrubs into his washing machine and dressed in my panties and one of his T-shirts. It's too big and bulky, but it smells like him.

His keys hit the table before he rounds the corner and slows. I hear the hesitation in his steps.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I'm so sorry, Crew."

He stalks toward me, heavy, measured steps that don't stop until he's almost on top of me.

His arms reach out and I grab for them, letting him pull me to my feet. He doesn't speak, but his body's movements say everything. He pulls me closer, tugging my legs up until I circle them around his waist.

His lips find mine in a messy, frenzied kiss. I taste the salt of his tears as he pushes my mouth open with his tongue.

We set out on a path across the living room, down the hallway and finally to his bedroom. He lowers me onto the bed, before ridding himself of his clothes.

I stare up at him, our eyes saying more to each other than our words ever could. I know he's grieving. I know he doesn't want to. I know pain like this is what is buried beneath his calm, controlled exterior, and his sense of humor and his deep compassion.

"I need you," he rasps. "Fuck, do I need you."

I pull the shirt over my head and reach out with my hand. "I'm here, Crew."

He falls into my arms, his face awash with tears, his shoulders surging forward as he rips my panties from my body and pushes my thighs apart.

"I need to feel loved," he growls before he lashes at the seam of my pussy with his tongue. "I want to feel needed."

I stop him with two fists to his hair. I turn his head, so he's looking up at me, his warm breath trailing over my wetness. "I love you, Crew. I need you."

Tears stream down his handsome face as he licks me once more before he whispers back, "I love you, too."

***

I stretch onto my back. Every muscle in my body is tender. He went at me like an animal for hours. Bursts of gentle pleasure mixed with the pain of his hands fisting the flesh of my hips and his cock driving into me with more force than I've ever felt before.

I held him while he cried, whispered that I loved him when he pulled me into his arms, and I watched him stare out into the darkness of the city when he got up to get another condom.

He finally fell asleep an hour ago.

I move to get up. I need a glass of water and more air to breathe than is left in this room.

"Ad?" he murmurs as his hand lands on my bare back. "Please don’t go."

I slide closer to him. I stare at his face and his half-open eyes. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay all night."

"Stay forever," he whispers.

I smile. "I might have to. I don't know if my legs work anymore."

He huffs out a small laugh and it's music to my ears. "I'll carry you everywhere you need to go."

I rest my forehead against his and cup my hand around the back of his neck. "I know that you would."

"I'd do anything for you because I love you."

The thundering of my heart feels like it's going to split my chest in two. "I love you."

He kisses me lightly. It's a loving press against my mouth. "Thank you for being here. Thank you for knowing I needed you here."

"I wouldn't have been anywhere else." I push back to look at him.

Jesus, I love him so much. I wanted to crawl inside his heart last night and hold it together. I wanted to take his pain away and carry it with mine.

"He hated me."

I bite back a rush of tears as I shake my head. "How can anyone hate you?"

"I wasn't his." He moves to roll onto his back, his muscled forearm shielding his eyes. "I'm adopted."

"I know," I say quietly.

He peeks out from under his arm. "You know?"

I motion toward the door. "Your living room is filled with pictures of you and your family. You're like a giant compared to them."

A laugh bursts out of him. "A giant?"

"You're taller than all of them." I laugh too. "You have black hair and beautiful green eyes. They don't."

"How long have you known?"

I shrug. "A long time, I guess. Since the first time I came here and saw the pictures and when I met Kade, I knew for a fact then. He didn’t say anything but you two are so different."

He lowers his arm. "Why didn't you say anything?"

I move closer to him so I can run my hand over his chest until I feel the steady beating of his heart. "We never talk about May and Jonas being adopted. Why would we talk about you being adopted? A family is a family and we're all family."

He wraps his strong arms around me and kisses my forehead. "This right here is where I belong."

It's where I belong too. It's where I've always been meant to be.