Crew

Some people will tell you that money can't buy happiness. They may be right, but today it bought me peace of mind, two-fold.

My lawyer worked out a deal with Lucia. I wouldn’t accept the lowball offers she was volleying my way, so I countered with an offer of my own to take over her shares of the club.

She sent me a few video text messages I ignored, then she called and left a voicemail message telling me how much she missed riding me reverse cowgirl while staring out at the strip through the windows of my hotel suite. I deleted that and her number from my phone.

Finally, she relented and took my deal.

It was a steep price to pay for a missed fuck, but the lesson was invaluable and learned too late. Never mix business with pleasure.

I followed the rule religiously until I met Lucia.

Since Ad is going to be a doctor and I can't stand the sight of blood, I'll never have to worry about the business/pleasure mix again.

"Ms. Costa is here to see you," Nancy announces from the doorway of my office like any good assistant would. The eye roll she gifts me with is the cherry on the sundae.

"Sit, Damaris."

I don't rise from my chair because respect isn't part of the dynamic of my relationship with this woman.

"You're tense, Crew. You need a good fuck."

Nancy tiptoes backward out of the doorway when she hears those words coming out of the mouth of my ex-fiancée.

"Leave the door open," I call after her. "The witch has to catch a broom out of town at three. She won't be staying long."

I hear Nancy's muffled laugh as Damaris takes a seat in front of my desk.

"You heard about my promotion?" She edges her finger over the corner of her lip.

I arranged the fucking thing and I would call it more a banishing than a promotion. It was my last official duty as a shareholder at Benton Holdings. Lark is taking over my shares tomorrow, even though Eli is still clinging to the last edges of his life with desperation.

"You're going to Italy." I tap my hand on the top of my desk. "Look whose dream is coming true."

She tilts her chin up. "I've always wanted to live in Rome. Now, I get to run the entire division of Benton's sales offices there."

It's one office that employs one person. That individual will be relocated back to Belgium. It's a move they've been desperately wanting for months.

"Will you miss me?" She smiles tightly.

"I didn't miss you before I saw you in the Hamptons, Damaris. Why the fuck would I miss you now?"

"There was a time when I thought we would make it."

If I ever felt that it was fleeting.  The highs of the sex and the lows of the pain I was in made it impossible to see a day ahead of me. I clung to Damaris because she was a warm body who kept me afloat.

"We weren't good for one another." I take a deep breath. "We would have destroyed each other."

"It would have been a hell of a way to go." She laughs. "I think back on what we did. It's hard to believe that was me."

Or me.

Drugs, unprotected sex, blackouts. It was all part of our daily fare.

I took chances with my safety and hers because I couldn't see through the anguish I was in. She trusted me to take care of her and when I couldn't anymore, the dynamic shifted. I needed her to take the wheel, but she couldn't handle it. She didn't have the strength.

"I want to the hospital to see your dad," she begins before she corrects herself. "Eli. I went to see Eli."

She knows. Damaris was by my side when I set out on the search to find my birth mother. She was there when I did. "I don't give a shit how that went."

She clasps her hands together on her lap. "I know, Crew. He told me he hopes all of his kids miss him when he's gone."

Of course he does. He wants the reassurance that we'll be in pain because of his death. I lie to myself that I won't, but grief is born in honesty. There will be a void. It won't be because he's not there anymore, but the chance; the might have been, will be gone.

"He remembered you?" I ask to avoid addressing what she just said. "It's been almost five years."

Her face softens. "He told me that he thought I was wrong for you. Not that I was too good, mind you, but wrong. He said you need a woman who can tame you. I told him she doesn't exist."

She does and I'm in love with her.

"He's lived the life he wanted to live." I deflect. "We've made our peace."

She moves to stand, I don't follow. "Do you ever miss us, Crew?"

"No," I respond without any hesitation. I won't ask her the same question because I can see the answer in her eyes.

"I'll keep in touch with Kade. He'll know how I'm doing if you're ever interested."

He won't stay in touch.

Getting her out of New York is a move meant to keep her out of my life, and Kade's. I stopped by his office at the Benton tower yesterday.  There wasn't a complaint when I told him I was sending Damaris abroad. His only request was that he wanted to be the one to tell her.

I ran through his expense reports before I signed my shares over to Lark. He's been paying the lease on Damaris's apartment in Tribeca for years, supplying her with credit cards, sending her on trips.

Either she's holding something over his head, or she's been in his bed. Either way, he's not torn up about her move.

She's a special kind of evil. One with a pretty face and a cold, empty heart.  Once she steps on that plane this afternoon, I'll rest easy knowing that she's a continent away with her sights set on someone else.