BEAST
The mixture of nervous anxiousness and impatient excitement was as foreign to Leo as the scathing jealousy he’d felt when Allison mentioned that fucking editor kissing her. Since Leo’s dad had come into his life right around the time Leo had begun to notice girls but had yet to give much thought to them, Leo had skipped all this. A few days after his thirteenth birthday, his dad showed up at Leo’s mom’s new home in Yuma, Arizona and announced that was the day Leo would become a man. He drove him over the border to Mexico, and Leo got his first taste of the cartel’s whores.
It was only now—until Allison—that he realized he’d been robbed of something huge. In spite of all the things he’d experienced, never in his life had someone made such an impression on him. But there was more to it. Never had any girl made such an impact on him.
Only one other time had he ever felt anything close to what Allison made him feel. Now he could say without a doubt he’d been grasping. He’d been hoping it was what he’d missed out on. But the feelings of euphoria he’d felt now just thinking of Allison were like none he’d ever felt. Now he knew why those guys in high school came across as goof balls because Leo had never felt goofier than when he was smiling about anything Allison.
Case in point, despite how nervous he was about talking to her today, the smile plastered on his face when he’d seen her walk into the gym today was instant. A smile of any depth up until he’d met and begun to get to know Allison had been rare enough for Leo. But the smiles he’d been exhibiting lately for her were ridiculous. He now felt like he owed those goofballs in school a my bad, I had no idea.
Concentrating on his training before she’d walked in had been a challenge already, but once he’d laid eyes on his beautiful Ali, his training had been all but shot. Now he waited anxiously just outside the front door of the gym where they’d agreed to meet.
She still hadn’t told her sister about them because she said Lila had been asleep when she got home last night and then Allison had left before she’d woken this morning. Allison said this wasn’t something she wanted to discuss via text or even over a phone call. Leo didn’t tell her, but he’d been relieved. He wasn’t looking forward to hearing Lila’s reaction to her precious little sister’s new boyfriend.
“Hey.”
Leo turned to face the beautiful sight of Allison and took a deep breath. He knew Lila wouldn’t be at the gym today, but he still didn’t want to chance hugging her there. He knew the moment he felt her in his arms it’d be impossible to hold back doing more.
Last night she’d told him he wouldn’t be seeing her today until the evening when they were both done for the day. So, he planned ahead. Several nights out of the week both his roommates worked late. Today was one of them.
“Feel like barbeque?” he asked, refraining from pulling her to him, but it was a challenge. “I make some killer turkey burgers.”
As expected, she smiled big. “That sounds perfect. I haven’t had a regular burger in forever, and I’m trying to keep it that way.”
“Follow me then. I have my place to myself tonight. I’ll make you dinner while we talk.” He lowered his voice a little as they started toward her car. “I’ll need something to keep my hands off you while I tell you the rest of what I need you to know.”
He walked her to her car then took off to his bike, incredibly still not having laid a hand or even his lips on her. But the moment she got out of the car at his place, he was all over her. Never mind the assholes next door watching the show.
Once inside his place, it was a challenge, but he finally pulled himself away long enough to start the unpleasant conversation. They started in his kitchen, where he put together the burger patties. Even with his hands full putting together the food, he still managed to continually sneak in kiss after kiss. But ironically, he was counting on the heaviness of this conversation to keep him from getting too out of control before he could finish.
Bringing her up-to-date again about having finished his youth without a mom and the most fucked dad on the planet, he continued as they moved things out to the back deck. He began telling her about dropping out of school at seventeen. How bitter he’d still been about losing his mom. He’d always suspected his father was responsible for his mother’s disappearance. The police investigated him, but he’d been part of the cartel too long. If he’d really had anything to do with her disappearance, his mother would never be found.
“After years with zero leads, I pretty much accepted she was gone. My dad lived in Mexico, and there was no way I was moving there with him. I could hardly stand to look at him after my mom went missing, even though he insisted if he’d done something to her he’d admit it.
“But he didn’t want to be bothered with me unless he needed me, so he paid off the little house we lived in with his drug money. I was on my own when it came to everything else. I may’ve lived a life of crime and was way ahead of most kids my age, but my mom . . .”
He stopped to clear his throat because, no matter how much time passed, the pain would always be there. “She tried her damnedest to make my life as normal as possible in spite of everything. So up until the moment she disappeared, she did everything a regular mom would do for her kid, everything she’d been doing until that man disrupted our lives: cooked, cleaned, bought groceries, paid all the bills, etc. I was fucking lost without her. All I knew how to do around the house was take the trash out among other insignificant chores like emptying the dishwasher and shit. The yard and cars were mine to deal with, but I had no idea how much she did until I had to do it on my own. Fortunately, I had Mrs. Calderon.”
He told her about the older widowed neighbor who’d become a surrogate grandma to him. So, when his mom went missing and she found out his dad had pretty much washed his hands of him, the old woman took him under her wing, from teaching him how to get all his bills in order, how to shop for groceries, to reminding him to water his plants and lawn so the place wouldn’t look abandoned. “She even supervised and walked me through making a turkey dinner one Thanksgiving when my dumb ass decided to host a small get together.”
Leo leaned in and kissed Allison. She was sitting on the deck’s ledge, listening intently, and now he wondered if maybe he should’ve told her everything he had last night in person too. Admittedly, he’d been afraid to see the expressions on her face when he shared all the ugliness of his past. But as usual, he couldn’t get enough of seeing every different and new one she indulged him with now.
“Long story even longer,” he said, flipping over the burgers on the grill. “When I first moved here years ago, I met Kit, a young girl I’d seen every morning waiting for the bus to school, as I drove by. I’d run into her a few times at the convenience store and whatnot. Saw her buying milk and eggs and shit and counting pennies to get it. I knew most people around here that were low on funds were on food stamps, so I wondered why she wasn’t, but didn’t think much of it. Fast forward to a few months later. I saw some assholes giving her a hard time at the bus station one morning, so I pulled over and told her to get in. She did. I didn’t get her whole story right away, but I started dropping her off at school almost daily. Eventually, she opened up and told me about her life. Her mom was an addict who sold their food stamps and worked tricks to pay for her drugs. She’d never met her dad, but like I was once upon a time, she was basically on her own. What really got me was that unlike me, even though by all accounts she should’ve been a thug, she wasn’t. Her grandma had done a good job of raising her, so she was a good kid, made good grades, and was even a star athlete who played on the soccer team and had a real good chance of getting a scholarship. In fact, she was counting on it to get away from her mom. Her grandma had set her up for it. Kit’s mom was a lost cause, and Kit’s grandma was way older. She knew Kit would be on her own too early in life and she’d been right. Her grandma died when Kit was just a freshman in high school.”
Leo took a swig of his beer, needing a break from this, since just like when Kit had told him about her grandmother, it brought back the painful memories of when Mrs. Calderon passed away. He shook his head but went on.
“I went to see her play one time and was hooked. I thought it was a damn shame that she was pretty much the badass of the team and the only one who never had any family there to watch her play. Ali, she was fucking amazing, and I’ve never even liked watching soccer.”
Leo paused as he flipped over the green onions and corn he also had grilling. When he glanced up at Allison, her expression had gone a little tense. “What’s wrong?”
She shook her head, but so did he. In the short time he’d known her, he’d stared at her long and hard enough to already notice the change in her moods. “What is it?”
And there it was: the unmistakable clearing of her throat followed by a swig from her water bottle. “You’re making me nervous.”
“Why?”
“You could tell me about murdering your dad and all the illegal stuff you did over the phone, but this was something you needed to tell me in person? I can see how hard just talking about this is for you. My head is racing now about where this is going? Do you have a baby out there? Babies? Since she was still in high school and you were an adult, were you arrested for statutory rape?”
Leaning in to kiss her again, Leo knew he should probably be insulted. But given all the other shit he’d laid on her last night about what else he was capable of, he couldn’t even blame her for going there.
“Nothing like that. On top of all the shit her mother had put her through, Kit was gay. Just another reason why life was even harder on her than most. But I did become her Mrs. Calderon, as much as I could anyway. Only I wasn’t safe for her like Mrs. Calderon was for me. I knew this.” He ground his teeth as he moved the burger patties away from the flames and slid the corn cobs over them instead. “I just wanted to help. She told me about some of the johns and other men her mom brought over trying to mess with her. I wanted to be there for her, so I made her call me when she didn’t feel safe and got her out of the apartment at least until she thought she was good to go back. I was almost done with the underground fighting.”
He stopped to take another swig of his beer because he could feel himself getting worked up again over this—just like he did every fucking time he let himself think about it. “It was my last fight and a big one. Good pay out and I was gonna need the money. This was just after my brother was sentenced and I promised him I’d leave the life and try and straighten out, but I knew it was gonna take some time before I could land a decent job with my record. I never even told her about my fighting, but she found out on her own. She wanted to see me, but I forbade it. Those fights were dangerous. I warned her never to go there.”
He slammed the lid of the grill down and walked away, taking in deep breaths and willing the damn knot in his throat away. Allison waited silently the minutes it took him to pace the emotion away.
“What happened to her?” she asked as he opened the lid to the grill again.
“There was a fight in the crowd, which was the norm. Only this time more than fists and knives were thrown. Bullets flew and everyone scrambled. I didn’t even know she was there until I got the call from O. I’d gotten my ass out of there the second I heard the shots because I knew it’d get cops called. O saw her go down and stopped to help her, thinking maybe she’d just been knocked over. That’s when he saw the blood. He said it was soaking up the front of her blouse fast. We’d both seen enough people shot to know she wouldn’t even make it until the paramedics arrived. But he said what she was most worried about was me being mad.” He chuckled as the pain inundated him. “She was fucking dying, and all she wanted was to make sure he told me she just wanted to see me fight one time.”
Allison hopped off the ledge and wrapped her arms around his neck. Leo hugged her tightly, willing the infuriating tears away. Swallowing hard, he pulled away when he was finally able to talk again and swatted angry tears away.
“Poison,” he said as her brows pinched in confusion. “I know you think I meant women are poison because they’re evil or maybe I’ve been burned. That’s not it, babe. “He shook his head, taking her face and cradling it. “It’s just that, for me, any woman I’ve allowed myself to care about has always turned out to be the biggest heartache in my life. It’s like a curse. The only times I’ve allowed myself to get close and care about one, ended in heartache. Every time. It’s why I’d decided a long time ago I’d never allow another one in. Not another Mrs. Calderon, not another Kit, not even anything romantic. With you . . .” He stopped to take a deep breath. “That first day I laid eyes on you, I saw you from behind and worked my way slowly up. I was lusting over your body the way I would any girl with a body like yours: taking every inch of your beautiful curves in and imagining what I’d do with you not if but when I ever got my hands on you. It’s what a smug asshole I’ve always been! I was so fixated on your mouth devouring that damn donut, I stopped there.”
He closed his eyes as the visual assaulted him for the millionth time, his cock already at attention even at a moment like this.
“Then my eyes finally made it the rest of the way up your face, and you looked so young all I could think of was Kit. I was so fucking disgusted with myself. Every time I saw you after that, it was a reminder of how some of her mom’s johns could even consider doing something to such a young and innocent girl. Then came the day of the interview and you looked so different: so much more seductive and womanly than you had that first day. On top of that, there was something about the mixture of innocence and spunk I wasn’t expecting. The excitement and aspirations for your future were things I’d been deprived of at your age, and I felt almost envious, but most of all, unworthy of someone like you in my life. Your eyes. Jesus Christ, your eyes. Even now they do something to me I can’t even explain. So, when it became clear you weren’t a high-school kid—you were an adult—you became a poison I knew I had to stay away from, especially once I found out about you and Carson. I figured I’d leave well enough alone and let you be with someone who wasn’t gonna come into your life and fuck it all up like I did Kit’s. If she’d never met me—”
“That wasn’t your fault.”
“Yes, it was.”
“No, it wasn’t.” This time she brought her hands up to cradle his face. “You probably helped her in more ways than you’ll ever know, and she was just a young girl intrigued by you and—”
“Like you.”
He saw Allison take a deep breath and the look in her eyes go even more severe than it already had. “Yes, I’m absolutely intrigued by you, but that’s not all it is. There’s so much more to you, and I think I knew it the day I finally got to talk to you too. I’ve been saying since I first found out about the work-release program, everyone deserves a second chance. Kit was in high school, younger than I and why she took such a risk. I promise you, and I owe it to my sister. As much as I’m drawn to you, I won’t be taking any risks. If I didn’t believe that everything you’ve told me about isn’t really all in your past, then I’d walk. It is, right?”
“Yes, but my life is still a danger to you.”
“Why?”
“Because there are still times I’m inevitably around people who for me pose no threat, but I wouldn’t want them around you. And this neighborhood . . . it’s not for you.”
“I lived just a few blocks from here not long ago. You can’t hold where I live now against me.”
“I’m not. It’s just that where you live now is where you should be in the evenings, not coming out here to visit your boyfriend—”
To his surprise, she laughed. “I’m more at home here than I am in Los Feliz, and the only time I’ll ever be here is when you are. Do you really think I’ll be in danger then?”
Leo wrapped his arms around her again as possessively as he’d ever felt. Fuck no, she’d never be in danger when she was with him. But that wasn’t entirely why he told her this. After yesterday, he could never suggest they shouldn’t be together. His heart would protest violently. But the one mention that she’d been kissed recently by a guy, likely as goofy as the ones back when he was in high school, made him nervous.
Kit, Mrs. Calderon, and his own mother weren’t the only women he’d cared about who brought heartache in his life. There were a couple of others he’d spare her the stupid details about. But he couldn’t imagine things not ending disastrously if he was ever witness to other guys around Allison now. Maybe a normal boyfriend would be able to handle other guys in her life, but Leo had been stripped of any normality many years ago.
This was a different kind of poison altogether. He’d felt it that first time he’d been alone with her in that boardroom where all she did was interview him. She’d had that same innocent awestruck look in her eyes Kit always did. Except with Kit, he’d just yearned to help her. With Allison, he’d wanted so much more.
Allison brought her arms down and around his waist, leaning her head against his chest. Wrapping his arms around her now too, he kissed the top of her head. Just like yesterday, he was feeling it again: this all-consuming emotion he’d never felt in his life. He still felt so undeserving of this. After all the evil he’d ever been a part of, how in the world did he deserve this? How could he have possibly earned the right to feel entitled to having someone as special as Allison exclusively to himself? Then he remembered the other more terrifying thing he needed to say to her in person.
“So far, nothing I’ve confessed to you seems to scare you, babe. I pray what I say next won’t either because it scares the hell out of me.”
She pulled away, looking up at him, the apprehension in her eyes like it was earlier when she admitted to being nervous.
“This might sound crazy to you, but I’ve been trying to figure this out for weeks, and after this weekend, I’ve come to one conclusion.”
He swallowed hard but continued to gaze in her eyes because he needed to see what she felt when he said this. “I’ve fallen in love with you.” Her mouth fell open, but he went on quickly before she could interrupt. “It didn’t happen overnight. I’ve been fighting it for a while. For most, that would be a good thing, baby, but I’m not sure it is in my case. I’ve cared about people before, but never like this. I’m not sure I’d handle the downs like a normal person would, and I’m telling you this now while you still have a chance to run.”
She shook her head and touched his face. “You are normal, Leonardo, and you’ll handle the downs the way everybody else does. You’ll—”
“No.” He shook his head, wishing he could just agree with her, but he couldn’t. Not about this. “There’s a reason for the nicknames, babe. Both La Feria and Beast. It’s no coincidence that they mean the same thing, and neither were names I chose. Anyone who’s been witness to it came to the same conclusion. It’s like there’s this switch in my head, and once it’s hit, that side of me is unleashed. I can control him for the most part but not when it comes to certain things, and I already know I won’t be able to when it comes to you. I felt it Friday.”
“Okay,” she said calmly and nodded. “I witnessed it too, but you handled it just fine. The guy had a gun. He posed a real danger to us both—”
“To you,” he said with conviction. “It’s a hundred percent what my reaction to him was about. It was all about you, and I’m telling you I know that’s how it’ll always be when it comes to you.” To his surprise, she smirked. Smirked. At a moment like this. “I’m serious, Ali—”
“I know you are,” she said, smiling even bigger. “They said the threat is over, right? And I don’t foresee anything of that nature happening at all anymore. So, note taken, but I’m not worried.” She ran her finger down his arm and licked her lips. “I’ve fallen in love with you too, Leonardo. Maybe we should focus on the romantic side of this predicament instead of the unnecessary worrying. Let’s talk about the positive side of this beast. I enjoyed unleashing him yesterday. I can hardly wait to unleash him again.”
Hearing her say she was in love too then her following it up with this was too much. With a groan, he picked her up, making her squeal. “The burgers!” she said as he began toward the door.
With a swift turn of his hips, he spun around halfway to turn off the burner on the grill. “We’ll come back for them. But you just hit that switch.”
Allison giggled in his arms as he raced into the house. If he could be sure when his roommates would be home or that his neighbors might not be watching, he would’ve bent her over right there on the deck. Instead, he’d be unleashing it in his bed this time, and he’d take it much slower than yesterday.
“FYI,” Bravo said as he walked into the training area where Leo was working on his bicep curls. “We’ll be having some company walk through here today. VIP’s, so look alive. A few of the Dodgers and even a few San Diego Padres along with some other associates are coming by to take a tour and just check things out. They’ll be walking through here. No need to go out of your way to say anything to them. Just do your thing. No biggie, but I thought I’d give you guys a heads-up in case you’re wondering what they’re doing in here.”
Leo nodded along with the others and carried on with his workout. Halfway through his time on the speed bag, the group of men walked in. A couple of the older ones wore shirts and ties; though, instead of professional like he was sure they were trying to look, their choice of tie colors and patent leather shoes didn’t say sophisticated. More like gaudy. One of them even wore white shoes. They reminded Leo more of the grease-ball mobsters he dealt with once upon a time. The younger guys were all dressed down in jeans and even basketball shorts.
Seeing Sabian, Lila’s superstar fiancé, walk in instantly had Leo on edge. Allison assured Leo more than once now she’d deal with her sister. She’d reminded Leo that she was an adult capable of deciding what was best for her and that her sister would respect that.
You’re what’s good for me.
As with all his reactions to anything Allison, he didn’t even realize he was smiling until the loud laughter snapped him out of it. A few of the guys in the group continued to laugh as they glanced around. Most looked familiar, and Leo was sure it was because they were all players. He wasn’t the biggest baseball fan, but Nine was, especially of the Dodgers, so the games were constantly on at their place.
Then he did a double take. One of the guys still smiling big looked familiar, only not like the other guys, not like Leo might’ve seen him on television maybe even a commercial here and there. There was a different familiarity about him, except Leo couldn’t quite place the face.
For most people, this wouldn’t be a big deal, but with Leo’s past, he had to watch his back. He had to make sure he didn’t inadvertently come face-to-face with a past adversary, someone who might make trouble for him.
The group moved along the far side of the room and Leo let it go. If the guy had really been anyone that important, Leo was certain he would’ve been able to place him. He concentrated on his training again. As he moved on to his speed-bag training, the group of men made it around the room and began passing by where Leo stood.
Leo glanced up and saw them take him in curiously as they had everyone else who was training in the room. The guy he thought he’d recognized was busy talking to one of the bigger guys in the group, someone who Leo recognized, the superstar catcher of the Padres. Much like with Sabian and some of the other big name professional athletes, you didn’t even have to be a baseball fan to know this guy—Rage Romero. The guy had major celebrity status.
Never one to gawk at even as big a star as Rage was, Leo began to glance away, until he saw the guy with him do a double take when he saw Leo. For a moment, they were locked into a stare down, and despite the guy’s big smile slowly waning, Leo still wasn’t sure what to make of it.
Thankfully, the guy looked away soon enough, as if he realized he’d been too obvious. But this weirded the fuck out of Leo. Clearly, he did know the guy from somewhere. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t remember from where.
Glancing up a few more times as they finished making their way through the training room, Leo thought he saw the guy looking his way casually each time. When the group of men reached the training room double doors, Leo glanced up to see the guy leaning in to ask Bravo something then motion his head in Leo’s direction. Bravo didn’t turn in Leo’s direction, and Leo might’ve thought he was imagining things if it hadn’t been for the heavier of the two older guys with them who jerked his head around to look at Leo.
If Leo wasn’t mistaken, the guy he still couldn’t place snapped at the older guy, who immediately made a show of looking all around the room. The mystery guy pushed one of the doors open and walked out. Bravo held the door for the older guys who followed and some of the other guys in the group.
Then there it was. Much more casually than the older guy, Bravo glanced in a few different directions of the room, said something to the guys walking out, but didn’t walk out before looking at Leo. He smiled, giving him a quick goodbye salute as the last guy in the group walked out and Bravo followed. “The fuck was that about?” Leo muttered under his breath.
He sat there for a few moments, wondering if he should even worry about it. Then he decided it’d be stupid to worry. He’d likely never see the guy again, and for all he knew, the guy could just be someone insignificant from way back. Only like Leo, maybe it was driving the guy crazy too if he was also trying to figure out where he recognized Leo from.
When he was done with his training and sparring sessions, Leo rushed through the motions of showering and changing. It’d only been a week since he’d given in to his carnal desires for Allison, but most importantly, his heart and already his life felt different. He was trying not to panic, but he still couldn’t decide if thinking of her every waking moment and then dreaming of her most nights was a good or bad thing.
The terrifying dreams had magically ceased since he’d opened up to her about his past and confessed to being in love with her. Now most his dreams consisted of him being with Allison. He’d gone from waking in terror, to waking up in complete bliss with a much larger-than-usual morning wood every day.
Their agreement to keep things casual and on the down low for now had gone right out the window. They hadn’t done anything stupid like make out openly in front of others, but with her sister being away from the gym most of the last week, Allison had been there almost every day.
With Nine and Orlando gone this past weekend, Allison had spent the weekend with Leo at his place. And to his surprise, it hadn’t been nonstop sex. They’d spent equal amounts of time talking and getting to know each other. Even more surprising was, not just that so far he hadn’t had issues telling her about his past but, how accepting she was of all his past mistakes.
Your past mistakes are meant to guide you, not define you.
Allison had said Sabian had told her sister that when she’d admitted to being ashamed of some of the things she’d done in her past. Once again, Leo walked out of the locker room, unaware he was smiling until he saw her and smiled even bigger.
“Hey,” she said as he walked up to her where she was casually waiting for him.
“Hey,” he said, struggling to refrain from touching her, but he had to be mindful that Sabian could still be in the gym.
“Feel like Barros?”
Leo thought about it for a moment. “Pizza?”
“Yeah.” She smirked. “They have very private booths.”
“Hell, yeah,” he said as she giggled.
Minutes after they’d ordered, they were sitting in a booth at Barros way in the back. Allison had just begun to slide in next to Leo, when he pulled her to him, glancing around quickly before devouring her mouth. “Jesus Christ,” he said between kisses even as his heart thundered in a mixture of bliss and absolute terror. “I had you all weekend, and I can’t get enough of you.”
“I promise you.” She caressed his face as she kissed him back, just as eagerly. “I feel the same way.”
As usual, their conversation carried on as effortlessly as always. Leo loved watching her explain things and get excited. Like when the subject of life goals and dreams came up. She mentioned she had two big dreams in life. The first she spoke of eagerly. She wanted to break into journalism in a big way. “With the Internet nowadays, it’s not like before where you had to land a job in one of the big networks or CNN or something. Now you can pave your own way. I’ve started doing podcasts and even have a few sponsors.”
She went on and on about it, but when he asked about the second dream, she got a little tight-lipped.
“What is it?” Leo asked curiously.
“I suppose it’s every girl’s dream—well, most I know.” She shrugged. “But sitting here telling my boyfriend about it might sound like I’m hinting. And I’m not,” she added quickly. “I wanna focus on my career first. But my other dream . . .”
She paused, smiling sweetly as the color in her face deepened, and she took a very telling sip of her water. Leo peered at her as she cleared her throat, and for a moment, he considered glancing away since she seemed so uncomfortable suddenly. But there was no way he was tearing his eyes away from her now.
“I guess once or twice in my life I’ve visualized what my life might be like around say thirty or so. I’m a successful journalist with a wonderful husband and a house full of kids.”
She chewed her bottom lip, pausing as if waiting for a reaction. Leo stared at her, smiling as he too visualized his future with her. “How many kids you want?”
“At least three,” she said, smiling big. “And I’ll be totally hands-on: class mom, little league coach, the whole nine yards.”
Leo laughed, feeling a warmth inside he’d never felt. His whole life not once had he ever thought of his future in terms of marriage and a family. But suddenly, he couldn’t think of anything that sounded better.
“What about you?” she asked, squeezing his hand. “You have dreams?”
“I do,” he admitted; though for now he’d only tell her about one. “Me and the guys had an auto shop once. Fixing them not selling. Cars and bikes. Me and O did the fixing. So did Nine, but he’s a bit of an artist, so he specializes mainly in making them look good: rebuilding them, painting them, that kind of stuff.”
“Restoring old cars and bikes?”
“Exactly.” Leo smiled, loving the genuine excitement in her eyes. “But it didn’t work out. The shop we had was in a real shitty neighborhood. Kept getting broken into, and the landlord was a real piece of work. Everything was broken down, and it was like pulling teeth to get him to fix them, so we closed, but we’ve all been saving in the hopes of buying our own shop. No more renting. We keep hitting roadblocks, but we’ll get there again someday.”
She already knew both Nine and Orlando were working for mechanic shops now, and as soon as Leo was done with work-release, he’d do the same.
“I believe you’ll get there someday,” she said, hugging him tight. “And I’m excited for you. For us.”
“For us.” Leo smiled, staring down into her eyes. “I like that.”
He kissed her softly at first, but just as he’d been every time they’d had one of their moments before that day, Leo lost himself in their kisses. He knew he should be more careful. They shouldn’t be so damn blatant in a public place so close to the gym, but he was powerless to fight it. It was insanity. Less than two weeks ago, he’d begged her to stay away from him, and now he felt ready to kill anyone who might try to keep her from him.
Taking a deep breath, he focused on enjoying her instead of getting worked up over something that might never happen.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said, stopping for a moment to look in her eyes.
She smiled, and as usual, despite her unease about the compliment, she didn’t look away. “Thank you.”
He kissed her again, softer this time. Sweeter, less hungry.
“I’m telling Lila today.”
That made Leo freeze, but he managed to recover fast enough, and he pulled back to look at her. “I thought you said you were gonna wait?”
“I know, but except for when I kept things from her for her own good—so she wouldn’t end up in jail—I’ve never kept anything else from her. It doesn’t feel right.”
“But what if—?”
She kissed him before he could finish. “Nothing and no one can possibly keep me from you now.” She smirked, tilting her head. “Heck, for as much as you tried, even you couldn’t.”
“That was only because—”
She kissed him again, giggling against his lips. “I understand why you did it. And Lila’s just going to have to understand why that’s not going to be possible anymore.”
Leo stared at her, feeling a terror that only confirmed why he knew he’d never feel for anyone what he felt for Allison. What would Lila think of him sleeping with her baby sister? He couldn’t even blame her for feeling protective of Allison. She should. He was glad for it, except not when it came to her possibly interfering and cutting him out of Allison’s life. He wasn’t even sure where this was headed—what he’d possibly ever have to offer Allison—yet the thought of losing her after having her for less than two weeks was a paralyzing one.
Trying not to sound as alarmed as this made him feel, he swallowed hard, searching her eyes. “What are you gonna tell her?’
“Well, she won’t be home until tonight because she said she and Sonny were going out.” It surprised him that she was still smirking silly, even when his heart was pounding away in his chest. “They’re having a romantic dinner on account of how they haven’t seen each other in almost two whole days.”
This made her giggle, and that alone at least had Leo smiling again. She caressed the side of his face as if she knew, even with him trying to hide it, how uncomfortable the idea of her telling her sister about them made him.
“Lila can be a hothead, but, believe it or not, her relationship with Sonny has really changed her for the better. Not that I thought there was anything wrong with her before. She had come a long way from her days of biting heads off.”
Leo gave her a look to remind her that Lila hadn’t come that far. Just a few months ago, he’d seen firsthand how far she hadn’t come yet. This made Allison laugh, and thankfully, as her smile and laugh usually did, coupled with her touch, they helped assuage the unease he’d been feeling. “Okay, maybe she still needs to work on not reacting so compulsively to defending those near and dear to her,” she said, motioning to herself with her thumb. “But this is why I want to tell her about this sooner than later. I know my sister. She’s never been violent or ever threatened me in any way. But she would be incredibly hurt if she heard about us from a third party, rather than directly from me. With this . . .” She paused to lift their entangled fingers, and Leo kissed her hand, making her smile so sweetly he breathed in deep. “I've been seriously thinking about telling her for days, but after today I know I better. I mean here I know both she and Sonny are in town and . . .” She leaned in and licked his bottom lip then pulled away and smiled. “Modesty be damned. I can’t keep this a secret much longer. So, I need to make sure I’m the one she hears it from, not anyone else.”
Their food came, and Allison told him more of what she planned to tell her sister as they ate. Basically, she’d be using her sister’s own whirlwind romance with the ball player she was so hopelessly in love with now. She thought it’d help Lila understand why Allison was so sure she, too, needed to follow her heart.
Hearing Allison speak of how sure she was about this relationship, helped ease the disquiet he still felt about having let this happen in the first place. His gut still had its reservations, but nothing could beat out what his heart wanted now. It was insanity and he knew it. She’d technically been his for less than two weeks, but already he felt like he’d stop at nothing to keep her happy. If that meant going along with her telling Lila about this and Leo having to face her overprotective sister with any questions or demands she might have for him, then so be it.
If it weren’t for the fact that she had class to get to, he would’ve risked getting home past his probationary curfew just to hang out with her longer. Already, he was doing other things he said he never would. Like asking her to come by his place after class so they could hang out, even though he didn’t like her driving around his neighborhood alone.
He followed her out on his bike to the freeway entrance every time. Whatever it took. As long as he got more time alone with her, it was worth chancing getting caught out after curfew.
Yeah, it was happening already, but he was done fighting it. Every taste of her mouth, every touch of her flesh, and, more alarming than anything, every moment just being with her, kissing that sweet smile were hands-down worth the risk.