“Hey man, what’s up?” Mason still sounded half asleep, but it was nearly noon.

“Nothing much,” Ryan said. “I’m back in town, wanted to see if you’re up for grabbing a beer.”

“No shit. Back for good, you mean? Discharged?”

“Yeah. Bum knee. Been around too much estrogen since I’ve been here.”

Mason laughed. “I’m headed to a pickup game in a couple hours at Kalorama. You can join, it’s just a few guys from work.”

“Work, huh?” Ryan said. “Full-on civilian lifestyle now.”

“Yeah,” Mason said gruffly. “I went the private security route after my discharge. It’s good, it’s cool. See you at two?”

“See you, ” Ryan said. Pickup games during their downtime at training was how he and Mason had first started hanging out. Ryan pulled on an old muscle tee and jersey shorts. He couldn’t remember the last time he'd gotten a sweat on just for kicks.

“Ryan, this is Mike, Hakeem, Javi and Curtis,” Mason said. Ryan nodded at them. Even now, at the modest neighborhood court, it was clear they were all ex-military. “Ryan and I were in the SEALs together.”

“Cool, man,” one of them said. Ryan had already forgotten who was who.

As Ryan ran up and down the court, the midday sun beat down on them. “Fucking foul,” Mason said with a laugh when Ryan came at him hard.

“What, can’t take it these days?” Ryan asked. It felt good, the adrenaline rush and roughhousing.

“I can take it fine. You’re the one with the old man leg. What’s it they say?” Mason asked as he dribbled the ball between his legs at the half court line. “I remember the days when my knees were right and left, not good and bad?”

Ryan shook his head and smiled. He missed this, when it was just the guys. But those days were mostly over. He’d noticed wedding rings on half the guys’ hands.

“It’s hot as balls out,” one of them said after an hour. “This Indian summer is shit. Y’all want to head out?”

“Yeah,” Mason said. “I’m still hungover from last night anyway. Antonio’s?”

Ryan had never heard of it, and plugged the name into his GPS. So much had changed since he’d lived full-time in this town. He noticed it more and more. Everyone around him would talk about events, restaurants and names, and he always nodded along like it made perfect sense to him. Since when does anyone go anywhere but Georgie’s for a slice?

They each ordered a pizza for themselves, and for once nobody gave him shit about his appetite. Families that lined the restaurant stared at the group of big men in their pickup gear, but nobody said anything—at least not until they ordered.

“Dad,” a kid whispered. “Those men ordered five pizzas. For here!” The dad shushed his son and gave Ryan an embarrassed look. Ryan just grinned and winked at the kid.

As they each tucked into their pizzas, huddled around the tables with the staple red checkered cloths, Mason started to grill him.

“So, what’s up?” Mason asked. “You normally don’t just hit me up out of the blue like that. It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve been back in town.”

“I always try to connect when I’m here,” Ryan said. Even as the words spilled out, he knew it was a lie.

“Bullshit,” Mason said. “I mean, I know we’re all busy. But this was a first. Last time you were on leave for, what, a whole month and I didn’t get so much as a booty call.”

“Whatever, man,” Ryan said with a laugh. “I’m sure you’re not lacking any booty call action.”

“You’d be surprised! You should know how it is, now that we’re in our thirties. The good ones are taken and the hot ones are crazy. Just gotta wait it out now until the good hot ones get finished with their first marriages, then it’s playtime all over again.”

Ryan laughed. Mason always talked big, and Ryan knew he got his fair share of play, but he wasn’t really like that. He knew Mason took his relationships seriously. “You got it all figured out,” he said.

“I try. So, how is it? I mean, being out of the service and all.”

“Weird. I mean, I was a SEAL for most of my adult life. I’m still getting used to the total lack of routine.”

“Yeah, I remember that,” Mason said. “Felt like I went straight from my mom’s house with her yelling at me to get up at dawn to some sergeant doing the same thing.”

“I don’t know what it is. Human nature, maybe, to want that kind of discipline and someone managing you.”

“That’s strange though, isn’t it?” Mason asked. “We spend our entire childhood and youth where we just can’t wait to grow up. Then when we do, it’s like we seek out parents all over again. I mean, a lot meaner, tougher ones, but still the same kind of thing. You adjusting, though?”

“Yeah. I think so,” Ryan said. “I check in with the VA team pretty regularly. They seem to think I’m doing okay.”

“And what about the royal family?” Mason asked with a wink.

“Shit, man, I don’t know. Eli… it’s fucking weird, right? For your brother to be POTUS?”

“I’d think so, but hell if I know!” Mason said. “My brother’s an electrician.”

“With the whole Ellie drama over and everything, it’s mostly died down. Nobody really pays much attention to me.”

“You sound jealous,” Mason said. “Don’t worry. I still see the paps getting your photo in the tabloids from time to time. You fulfill the role of the president’s bad boy brother with your motorcycle and everything.”

“Yeah, I think those are slow days,” Ryan said. “Honestly, nobody ever bothers me or says much to me. All that hoopla from the campaign days has died down.”

“Probably for the best. That was some crazy shit.”

“I wouldn’t really know. I was deployed for most of it. I feel kind of bad, because I got to duck out of the insanity of it, but the rest of the family had to deal with it all—”

“Don’t be stupid. You were serving.”

“I know, but when I heard all the stories, and when Ellie was getting death threats…”

Mason shook his head. “I know they had to take it seriously and everything because of Eli, but I really think it was just a bunch of online teenage drama bullshit. People think they can say anything online and it’s not serious.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“But what about you now? You seeing anyone? Or...”

Ryan looked down and pretended to be engrossed in his slice. “Nah, not really. It’s complicated.”

“Ain’t that a Facebook status option?” Mason said as he drowned his own slice in parm and peppers. “But for real. I’m pretty smart, you know. With the ladies and everything. I’m up for listening if you want to bounce some stuff off me.”

Ryan hesitated. Mason was right. He had always been good with not just women, but the real meaty part of relationships. He acted like a badass, but when it came down to it there was a lot of sensitivity below the surface. He’d never tell him that, of course, but it was why he was so quick to befriend him. “I don’t know, man.”

Mason shrugged. “What could it hurt?”

Ryan looked at the other guys, who stuffed their faces with gusto and only popped their heads up occasionally to wash down bites of dough with beer. “I guess. Remember Poppy? My best friend since we were kids?”

“You talked about her, yeah.”

“I never thought about her in any other way, ever. Until now, since I got back. I don’t know, something’s different. Maybe she’s different, or me. I’m not sure.”

“So, something going on then?”

“No. Not exactly. There was this time, this moment I guess you’d say, at a pool party just last week. We almost kissed, but she bailed at the last second. Acted like nothing happened ever since.”

“Doesn’t sound that complicated,” Mason said. “It was a party. People are drunk. She might not even remember that.”

“It’s not just that. There’s also… she has this friend, Sarah. I never thought much of her. She’s kind of annoying, actually. But she’s hot, and we’ve been hanging out.”

“What’s your definition of ‘hanging out’?” Mason asked.

“Dating, I guess.”

“You sleeping with her?”

“No. It hasn’t got that far. But, you know, we’re ‘together.’ Maybe, I don’t even know if you’d say that.”

“But while this is going on, you got feelings for your friend. Right?”

“I don’t… yeah. I think so.”

Mason finished a slice and grabbed a napkin. “All I know is, if you’ve got feelings for someone, it’s not kind to lead another girl on.”

“I don’t even know if I have feelings for Poppy!” he said. The other guys glanced up, but went back to their pies. “I mean—”

“Look, all I know is you’ve told me you’ve been friends with this girl your whole life. If you don’t see yourself ending that ‘friendship’ anytime soon, there’s probably more going on than you realize. Than you even admit to yourself.”

Ryan sighed, and Mason clapped him on the shoulder as he stood up. “Maybe you’re right, man.”

“See? I told you I was smart,” Mason said as he tapped his temple. “There’s another game starting soon, a group of guys from crossfit. You wanna join?”

“Yeah, sure,” Ryan said. He looked down at the empty steel plates and the oil-covered napkins.

Do I have feelings for Poppy? Real ones? How did that ever happen?