What the hell was she doing? Poppy had locked herself in the bathroom for the past thirty minutes. She had heard a small shuffling when Ryan finally left the bedroom, but nothing else.

Stupid, she scolded herself. She’d just given her virginity away like that, her “last bargaining chip” as her father would say. You’re a slut.

Still, there was a bigger part of her that knew it was right. She loved Ryan, there was no denying that—always had. But did he love her like that? As more than a friend? After all, she’d been throwing herself at him like mad for the past few weeks. Maybe he was just doing you a favor.

And what about Will? And Sarah? She hadn’t given a thought to either of them while she gave herself to Ryan. What kind of person cheats on her boyfriend and sleeps with one of her closest friend’s boyfriend?

Shouldn’t she feel worse than she did? Although Poppy felt worse about Sarah than she did about Will—and that was strange. Her thoughts traveled back to Will on the water, engrossed in conversation with Penny. What was going on with those two? It was no surprise Penny would have a crush on Will, but was it more than that? Was it mutual?

Poppy shook her head. It was probably nothing. What with Penny thinking there was something going on with Poppy and Ryan, it was only natural for her to take Will’s side.

Stop it. How can you blame anyone but yourself? She’d learned through counseling in college that having a mother who'd modeled ideal victimization behavior her entire life, had made it pretty easy to slip into that mindset herself.

You’re to blame. You. Just you.

“We’re back!” she heard Penny’s voice crow as the front door flew open. “How are you?”

“Good, I’m better,” Ryan said. He must have been sitting on the couch.

“Where’s Poppy?” It was the girl half of the couple whose bed they’d just christened.

“Bathroom,” Ryan said.

She sighed. It was time to put on the biggest show of her life. She ran the water in the sink and adjusted her hair in the mirror. Poppy tugged at the sarong and tank top she’d grabbed en route from the bedroom to the bathroom. You can do this. Just act normal.

“Hey,” she said to the group. “How was the rest of the tubing?”

“Great!” Will said. “It was just that one rough patch.” His glasses were covered in water spots, and she could already tell he was going to burn, not tan. “You doing alright, Ryan?” he asked. Genuine concern coated his voice.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Ryan said.

“That was some real hero work you did!” the guy half of the couple said. “Going all white knight on Sarah.”

Poppy busied herself in the kitchen with Penny. They set up for a family-style meal.

“Whoa!” the girl shouted from her bedroom. “Looks like somebody’s been sleeping in our bed.” She poked her head out of the room and smiled.

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” Ryan said. “I crashed in there when we got back.”

“Not a heavy sleeper, huh?” she asked. “I’d hate to share a bed with you.”

Poppy could feel Ryan’s eyes on her, but she refused to look.

As the entire group settled down on the porch with their plates loaded with burgers, salads and chips, talk turned to the events of the day. “I can’t believe you did that!” Sarah said to Ryan.

“Believe it,” he said. “I see a girl about to get wet, and I can’t help myself.”

The guys laughed and the women groaned, but Poppy was sure everyone would catch on. Sarah rolled her eyes as Ryan got his second serving. “The rest of us aren’t even halfway done with our first!” she said.

“What can I say? I worked up an appetite this afternoon.” His eyes bored holes into her, but Poppy pretended to be engrossed in her food—or, more accurately, her second glass of wine.

“You think you better slow down?” Will asked her.

“Whatever, it’s the weekend,” she said.

“Now, now,” Penny said. She was on Will’s other side, and leaned over. She wove her arm through his. “You should listen to your man from time to time.”

Will raised his brows at Poppy and nodded in Penny’s direction. See? Why can’t you be like that? his expression seemed to say.

Emboldened with liquid courage, Poppy reached over and slapped Penny’s arm away from Will. She tried to do it like she was joking, but even buzzed she was aware it came across as territorial.

“Geez, why don’t you just piss on him and mark your territory?” Penny said quietly into her own Solo cup of wine.

“Maybe I will,” Poppy said. She leaned into Will and intertwined her own forearm with his.

“A guy could get used to this!” Will said. He beamed at the two women fighting over him. As much as she despised him in that moment, Poppy held onto his arm.

“Hey now, you’re all mine,” she told him. Poppy leaned over to give Will a kiss and thankfully, he complied. She never knew if he’d play the “PDA is for kids” card or not.

“I should bring you to the woods more often,” Will said.

“You want me to get you another beer?” she asked him.

He looked at his nearly empty bottle. “Sure, why not?” As she walked back to the kitchen, he slapped her ass.

“—and, you know, I’m not saying it’s a sure thing or anything, but it’s promising. Very promising. But you know how contracts in LA are.” She’d only been gone a minute, and somehow Will had steered the entire conversation around his work and project. She cringed inwardly, but handed him his beer.

“P? Don’t you mind him being gone all the time?” Sarah asked. Her hand rested on Ryan’s thigh.

Poppy opened her mouth, but Will cut her off.

“She doesn’t mind,” Will said. “In fact, she’s a great little cheerleader. Maybe my biggest supporter.”

“Fascinating,” Sarah said. “Does she even talk and walk like a real girl, too?”

Before Will could respond, Penny jumped in. “It’s not easy being the girlfriend of a successful artist,” she said. “At least, I imagine.”

Why am I even with him? He’s such a douche. Poppy sat back in the chair and tuned out Will as he continued to blather on about himself. Is this really the path you’re going to choose? Really?

There was nothing in Will that she wanted for her future. Maybe there never had been, or maybe she’d just been blinded before. Forget choosing Will or Ryan’s path, what about her path? Where did that go?

Maybe, Poppy realized, I’ve been so far off my own path for so long I won’t be able to find my way back. Look at him, she thought as she took in Will. He’s so full of himself!

It had been a long time since Will had mentioned it, but he used to be so proud she was going to be a doctor. He'd brought it up every time he introduced her to someone. “This is my girlfriend, Poppy. She’s in med school. She’s going to be a doctor.” At the time, she'd loved it. That was back when she thought being a doctor actually meant something—something more than saving people. As if that weren’t incredible in itself.

She shook her head. She was so offtrack. Will only wants you because having a doctor on his arm makes him look good.

But she wasn’t in this fantasy alone. She’d looked a little too long at advertisements for engagement rings. She’d dropped hints she liked the halo style, and had told Will she thought yellow gold was charming and coming back in style.

Stop lying to yourself. Okay. All of that was true, she had to admit. But the biggest truth she’d buried from herself? She’d ached for the day Will and her would have a baby—not to start a family, but to quit her life. Will would make it big, they might even move to Hollywood, and she’d spend her days at Mommy and Me classes while she swapped advice with other Sweaty Betty-bedecked moms.

You’re a fraud. Uncomfortable, and with a head swarmed with wine, she stood up. “Guys, I think I’m gonna rest for a bit,” she said.

“You okay?” Sarah asked, concerned. She rubbed Ryan’s knee.

“Yeah,” Poppy said as she avoided Ryan’s gaze. “I’m just tired.”

She was barely curled up onto the bottom bunk when Will appeared in the doorway. “What’s the matter with you?” he asked. “You just up and left me out there.”

“I’m tired, Will,” she said.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with you,” he said. With a heavy sigh, he sat on the bed next to her. “I was going to wait to tell you this when we weren’t in the middle of nowhere, when you were in a better mood, but it looks like you’re never going to be in a good mood anymore.”

“Tell me what?” she asked. You’re leaving me for Penny.

“The script was picked up,” he said. “I’m moving to LA.”

“You’re—you’re leaving?” she asked, and sat bolt upright in bed. “So, we’re… ”

“Don’t be silly!” he said. “There’s no reason for us to split, not if you don’t want that. You’re coming with me. There are hospitals in LA, aren’t there?”

“Well, yeah,” she said. “But it’s not—I’m an intern, Will. I don’t get a say in where I am. Do you remember how hard it was to even get this internship? And even if I was a full-fledged doctor, it’s not easy to—”

“You just can’t be happy for me, can you?” he asked. “It’s always all about you.”

“Will! How can you say that? I—”

“Just admit it,” he said. “This has nothing to do with your internship or anything else. I’m sure you could find a way to finish your internship in LA… if you wanted to. I mean, assuming you’re not wanting to stay here because of Ryan—”

“Oh geez Will, no. Okay? It has nothing to do with him.”

“Good! Then it’s settled. And there’s no reason for you not to say yes.”

“What?”

Will stood up and dug through his suitcase. He pulled out a black velvet ring box and tossed it toward her. Inside was a pear cut diamond in a platinum setting. Poppy looked up at him, unsure. He didn't move, a challenge to her loyalty.

Unable to speak, she slipped the ring on. It was too big, and felt like dead weight.

“Just think about it,” he said as he moved to her and patted her head. “Our future could be great. You’ll see.”

Like a hawk, he swooped down and kissed her hard on the mouth. It was tight-lipped and rigid. He smiled, turned around, and walked back to the patio. Poppy stayed, alone, in the dark.