Chapter 4

Devon

I felt his eyes on me. Searching. Wanting something I couldn’t understand. Damn my dad and his helicopter parenting style. How many other times had Judge Copeland been waiting in the wings to rescue me? Out of sight but never for even one second out of mind. I shivered. All I wanted to do was curl into the fetal position, hug myself, and cry. But there he stood, right in front of me, all six feet of him. Making me want to stay strong and act like a mature adult so he wouldn’t think I turned into a blubbering baby at the first sign of insult.

I stood and pierced him with my most capable glare even though my words didn’t match the pain that probably shone through my eyes like a lighthouse beacon. I dare you, Judge Copeland. I double damn dare you to say anything about how I can’t handle myself in the face of a little music major abuse. It’s nothing I haven’t been dealing with my entire life. Just never in front of you before. He stood so still, his big body seeming tight and immobile. What was he thinking right now? Then he glanced at the door and all the wind bolstered by my false bravado left my sails. He wanted to flee.

Several tense moments passed where we didn’t speak. It was a little strange standing there in the tiny music room with Judge within touching distance as we stood in a Mexican standoff. My hands itched to touch him so I put one on my hip as I jutted out my stubborn chin and fisted the other one at my side. There. No touching would ever happen between the two of us. Judge scanned the curve of my hip with his hypnotic brown eyes, and I clamped mine shut against the assault. He looked awkward and reached up to adjust his glasses. Just one more thing I loved about this brilliant man. In that moment, it hit me hard how much I’d missed him.

“It’s been a long time, Devon.”

Yeah. It’s been a long time because of you. Why weren’t you at my graduation, asshole? I slaved away in high school, beating out hundreds for valedictorian with my perfect 4.0 GPA. For my dad. For me. But I have to admit it was mostly for you. To make you proud. To make you notice me. To make you love me. I shook my head and popped my eyes open again. He hadn’t moved either his body or his eyes. God, why wouldn’t he just get the fuck out of here before I lost my shit?

“It has,” I said, following his eyes to look out into the hallway. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him and tried with every breath in my body to keep my face a mask of indifference.

“I wish I could have been there for your graduation ceremony,” he said. “Your dad couldn’t stop talking about how proud he was. It’s quite an accomplishment. And your scholarship—”

“Thank you,” I rudely interrupted him, not wanting to hear his platitudes. A little too little and a little too late. I just wanted to slink back to my dorm and tell Annie about this while going straight into the ugly cry but Judge’s rock hard body stood between me and freedom. And running away now would mean I had to slip past him, within inches of flattening my breasts against his muscled chest, complete with the leather strap holding his briefcase. My nipples pebbled into hard, aching nubs. I crossed my arms over them and tapped my foot on the vinyl floor.

His eyes noticed my tapping toe and they narrowed in concern. “Can I walk you back to your dorm? It would make me feel so much better if I saw you home safely. Will your roommate be there?”

I smiled but my mouth felt so tight I think it came out looking more like a sneer. “No, I told Geoff I’d meet him in the cafeteria. I still have a class this afternoon.”

The lie slipped off my tongue like butter. No way was he getting anywhere near my dorm room. I’d never look at it the same way again. It already resembled a prison cell, and I didn’t want to become the caged bird inside it, afraid to fly lest Judge Copeland clip my fragile wings.

Judge looked the same except for a sprinkle of gray hair at his temples. I’d always loved his thick, dark hair and how it always fell over his brow in an unruly cowlick. He’d shove it back but it never stayed put. I longed to run my fingers through it and many nights were spent alone in my bed, imagining what it would feel like if he had his head between my legs with that hair in the perfect position for me to yank it.

I had to get the hell out of this room. Now. My lungs struggled to inhale, like his presence had sucked all the oxygen out of the small space. He wore a blue-button down and navy cargo pants. A spattering of dark chest hair drew my attention and then my gaze traveled upward to his chiseled jawline and then down to his belt buckle. No, no, no. An air of worry and kindness enveloped him. Regardless of whether or not my dad had sent him, he seemed to really care.

About me.

“Okay,” he relented. “If you’re absolutely sure that Geoff will be there. Why don’t you grab your things and come with me? I’m leaving for lunch, so I can see you most of the way, Devon.”

I fought back the shiver at hearing him say my name. In my mind, I’d heard him say my name millions of time. Trembling with excitement and husky with passion.

“Thank you,” I whispered. I was on the verge of saying how good he looked to me, admitting everything in that single sentence. But I couldn’t push the words out of my parched mouth, so I stayed silent outside of my gratitude. He nodded and motioned me out the door first. Always the gentlemen with impeccable manners. A unicorn in a forest swimming in rudeness and lack of care. I stood there, watching his hand. After I gathered my backpack and slid past him, I could still feel the strength of his gaze boring into my backside.

In that moment, I knew. These out of control feelings I’d been harboring for this man for years were about to get even worse.