Sasha
“He’s looking at you,” Karen whispers to me and I glare at her.
“Stop telling me he’s looking at me,” I whisper-yell at her. It’s been a week since the talent show. A week I have stayed away from Colin. A week away from his touch, a week he has left messages and voicemails. I don’t read or listen to any of them.
I can’t.
Karen told me after I calmed down that he made a mistake and asked me if it this is worth me losing Colin over. She may be able to forgive him, but I can’t get over that he did agree to it. What if he didn’t fall for me? What if he saw me with indifference and I ended up falling for him, just for him to me screw me over?
For fucking money.
I can’t forgive him.
He’s a pig.
Class ends I stand up to leave. Colin is in front of me walking out the door but before he leaves, he turns and looks at me. He has circles under his eyes and he looks tired. My heart aches a little for him, but I look away from him. I can’t feel sorry for him.
I walk to my next class and I try to keep my eyes away from Colin. I’m thinking of new lyrics when the classroom door opens and my name and Colin’s gets yelled to head to the principal’s office.
Holy shit, what if we’re getting in trouble after that whole scene last week after the talent show? But why would Mr. Atkins wait until now to say something? I grab my stuff and head out and I can feel Colin right behind me. He doesn’t touch me, he doesn’t say anything, but I can feel his eyes on me.
My body is humming for him. It's screaming for him. I feel like I’m in rehab, trying to wean myself off Colin Baxter. I’m lost in my own head when I trip over my feet. I’m about to fall and land on my face when I feel arms go around my middle, pulling me back into his hard chest.
His arms stay around me and I don’t pull away. His heat surrounds me, his smell consumes me. I close my eyes, soaking it all in since I know this could be the last time. Neither of us move, scared to break the connection.
His hands move a little until I feel his thumbs start to stroke my skin. I move further into him and his fingers dig into me. I want him to continue to touch me. His lips go to my neck and I automatically move my head to the side a little to give him better access. He bites down hard and I squirm.
My head is fuzzy and I know I’m not thinking straight. The next thing I know, I’m being pulled into an empty classroom and his mouth lands on mine as he pushes me against the door. My fingers are in his hair, my body is pushed up against his. His hands roam all over my body. Our breathing comes in and out fast.
I should stop this but I can’t.
He pulls up my skirt and pushes my soaked panties to the side. His fingers slide along my folds before entering me and I bite down on his shoulder to stop my screams. I start riding his hand until my release hits me and I know this isn’t enough. I want more.
I pull down his jeans and boxers, freeing his hard dick. I grab it in my hand, causing his head to fall back. I push him back slowly until he lays down on the teacher's table and I climb on top of him.
Heat and confusion swirl in his eyes and, before either of has time to think, I start to slowly slide down, causing him to growl and me to groan by the pain it causes. He places his hands on my hips and helps me down slowly. I stay still and watching him come undone in front of me makes me ache.
I feel so full.
Once the pain subsides a little, I lift myself up and slowly go back down. I start to go in a slow rhythm and soon I am full of pleasure and start to grind faster, to bounce on him harder. I need more. I squeal when he sits up and I wrap my legs around him as he holds on to my hips and starts lifting me up and down so fast that I’m starting to see stars.
“Oh, God,” I shout out to the empty room. This is so good.
He stands up and turns so I’m sitting on the desk and starts thrusting inside me and I lay back a little and we both moan as this angle causes him to go deeper. My feet are pressed against his ass, telling him to move faster.
His rhythm speeds up and soon I am screaming out my release. After a few more thrusts, he growls out his own. His face tucks into my neck and I place my hand to the back of his head.
That I didn’t expect.
I literally have no will power.
We stay like that until I hear my phone vibrating in my bag and just like that, the bubble breaks, bringing us both into reality. I adjust my skirt and grab my phone to see my mother calling.
“Honey, why do you keep answering your phone when you should be in class?” she jokes.
“Why do you just happen to call me when I’m not in class?” I tease back, my back to Colin. I can’t look at him right now.
“Good news, sweetie. Xander has finished up his work and wants to meet you tonight. We have some news.” I nod even though I know she can’t see me.
“Sounds good. Just pass on the details.”
“Honey are you okay? You sound a little funny,” she asks, clearly concerned.
“I’m fine, just a long day.”
“You need to sleep more.” I haven’t told her that the guy I was seeing is no longer in the picture. I don’t want to concern her. I guess deep down, I’m not ready to admit it out loud even though it’s true.
“I know. Looking forward to later.” I try and change the subject.
“Me, too. Now go and get an education.” I chuckle.
“Love you.”
“Love you too, sweetie.” I hang up and turn around and see Colin dressed, sitting on the edge of the table looking pained.
“It was my mom.” It’s the only words I can get to come out of my mouth and he nods. “Listen…”
“I get it,” he interrupts me. “You either regret what happened or it was just a one-time thing or it won’t happen again.” I close my mouth, not sure what to say. I feel like I used him. And in some way, I did.
“We should get to Mr. Atkins office before they send a search party,” I try and joke. He stands and walks around me, heading out of the classroom. This time I’m the one to follow him. My eyes on him.
When we get to the office, the secretary lets us in and we knock on Mr. Atkins door. After a moment, he yells for us to come in. “Please, take a seat,” He says and we both do. “I want to talk to you about last week.” I feel my palms start to sweat. I watch him walk to his files and then back to his desk, taking a seat. He looks between us and then smiles. “You both did a great job.” I look at him speechless.
“Excuse me?” I say softly.
“You did a great job. More than great. Because of you, this school was donated one hundred thousand dollars and half of it will be going to the arts department.” I open and close my mouth over and over.
“My department will be getting money?” He nods.
“They said it was a requirement. They loved you. They couldn’t stop talking about you.” I squeal a little.
“Oh, my God.”
“Told you they would love you,” Colin says. I look over at him and he gives me a sad smile.
“Thank you,” I tell him and I feel tears prickle my eyes.
“And you, Mr. Baxter, everyone said how hard you worked. Even a few said that you and the team were blackmailing a few of the students.” He laughs. “Love your style, it was wrong, but I’m thankful as the place did look full.” I look to Colin again. He made sure that the place was packed for me.
“I just did what I was told.”
“And you did good. Oh, and well done for a good game yesterday. A few scouts are asking me for a recommendation and I am happy to say that I will make it glow.” His game was yesterday. The most important game and I missed it. I have been so stuck in my own head that I forgot about his game. I promised him no matter what I would go. I would have gone, I knew it meant a lot to him.
“Thank you, sir.” I look at him but he won’t look to me.
“You two did me proud. You make a good team.” With that, he is dismissing us and we both stand and walk out of his office. Colin starts to walk down the hall but I run after him, stopping him.
“I’m sorry I forgot about your game.” He just shrugs.
“I know you had other things on your mind. Don’t worry about it.” He walks off again.
“Colin,” I shout and he turns. No words come out. My head is telling me to scream that I forgive him. That I want to give us another chance. But only air leaves my mouth. He gives me a nod and then leaves as I stand there rooted to the spot.
* * *
I told Karen what happened on the way home. I first told her what Mr. Atkins wanted and then I tell her that I lost my virginity in an empty classroom to the person I thought I hated. Yeah, once I had more time to think, the more I’m regretting not giving him second chance. I can see how sorry he is.
Why should I keep on punishing us both?
Tomorrow I am going to speak to him.
“You lost your virginity and you’re just telling me now?” Karen shouts in the car.
“I knew you would overreact so that’s why I waited.”
“You lost your virginity. In school. You could have been caught, you could have gotten suspended. What were you thinking?”
“Actually, I wasn’t thinking. It just sort of happened.”
“I can’t believe this.” She pauses. “Can I ask you a question?” I nod. “Did it really hurt?”
“It did. I know this is going to be a bit TMI, but I was soaked and even that didn’t help. He was just so big and thick. But, God, once the pain was gone, it was so good. I was like a woman possessed. I wanted more. I wanted it harder. I wanted him to just slam into me.” I look at Karen and her mouth is hanging open.
“Did you come?”
I nod. “Big time. I’m sure my eyes rolled back.”
“I can’t believe you lost your V-card and I still have mine.” She huffs and I laugh. “So, are you and Colin back together?” I bite my lip shaking my head.
“I think I made a mistake. Maybe I did overreact over the whole thing. I was just so hurt I wasn’t thinking straight. I miss him so much.”
“Are you going to get him back?”
“I’m going to try.” She shrieks.
“I know he did a dickish thing, but after you left last week, you should have seen him. He looked so broken. I heard he stayed there until he was kicked out.” I look to my hands in my lap.
“But you slapped him.”
“Because that’s what friends do. I was in the moment, okay? You were hurt so I had to hurt him.” I laugh.
“You are such a drama queen.”
“I know.” We both laugh. “So, tonight is the night you meet your Mom’s fella. Call me right after, okay? I want to know how he talks, how he looks, and if he’s stepfather material.”
“I will call you right after.”
“Good, now go and make yourself even more beautiful.” I give her a hug and head inside to start getting myself ready. I just hope I like the guy.
* * *
I decided on a black and white flower summer dress. I called a cab and now I’m standing outside the restaurant looking at the message from my Mom that they are already sitting inside. I take in a huge breath and walk in.
Telling the hostess the name, I’m led through tables until I see my Mom laughing. Her face is glowing. She spots me and stands, walking quickly over to me and giving me a hug. She places her hand in mine and guides me to her table and I close my eyes until we stop. I reopen them and see the man who has made my Mom happy again.
He isn’t what I was expecting. He seems younger for his age. He has dark brown hair and light green eyes. He looks familiar in a weird way. Like I have seen him somewhere before. He stands and extends his hand.
“You must be the beautiful Sasha. Your mother talks dearly of you.” I place my hand in his, giving him a warm smile.
“My mother does the same with you. Thank you so much for taking time out to meet me.” He helps me to my seat.
“You are very well mannered. I would have loved to meet you sooner, but work, unfortunately, has been crazy and the free time I did have, I spent with your mother.” He smiles affectionately to her.
“Oh, Xander.” She waves him off. A waiter comes over, filling my glass with infused water and not long after another waiter comes and asks if we are ready to order.
“We are still waiting for my son.” I notice how he says son in a tense voice. The waiter nods and leaves us. “I am so sorry, my son does like to make an appearance.” Mom places her hand over his and his facial features soften.
“It’s okay. I’m sure he will be here soon.” She then looks to me and I mouth son? He has a son? It’s not just him I have to get used to. It’s a son who seems to be a twat. He’s running late which shows he has no common courtesy.
I’m sitting there playing with my water glass as I watch my Mom go all googly eyes and when they share a kiss, I stand, excusing myself. “I just need to use the bathroom. Please excuse me.” I smile and start walking away but I hear him talk about how pleasant I seem.
I’m heading outside to get some fresh air when I see Colin walk in wearing a light gray suit and my mouth drops. He looks so much older. My body starts to hum just being this close to him. His eyes land on mine and images of him and me earlier today flies in and I need to tighten my thighs as I want round number two. I have ached all day but in a good way. It’s like a reminder where he has been.
“Sasha, what are you doing here?” he asks as he stands in front of me. I hate that he smells so good.
“I’m meeting the mystery man.” He nods in understanding and I see sadness in his eyes.
“I was going to come meet him with you.” I remember. “I’m meeting my father, so I’ll let you go.” Him just saying the last sentence breaks something inside me. I don’t want him to let me go. He starts walking to the hostess desk when I grab his hand and drag him down a corridor that leads to the bathrooms and I open the disabled toilets and push him inside, my lips landing on his.
He cups the back of my head as I place my hands on his shoulders. I push his body against the door and start rubbing myself against him like a cat in heat. I feel his erection press against me and I start unzipping him with fumbled fingers and once he’s free, I wrap my hand around him. He moans and his head falls back at the contact.
“I need you inside me,” I say breathlessly. His eyes go straight to mine.
“Are you not sore?” he asks, concern in his eyes, making me fall for him deeper.
“In a good way. Please, Colin. I need you.” He twirls me around so my back is to the door and he lifts one of my legs so it’s around his waist and I feel the head of his dick press against my entrance. He slowly starts entering me, filling me up.
“Fuck, you feel so good.” He groans.
“So fucking good.” My body arches. His lips caress my neck to the top of my breasts. Then with one quick motion, he thrusts quickly in me, causing me to scream in ecstasy. He slowly starts to glide out and enter back in. Teasing me. “I’m not made from glass. You won’t break me.” His eyes bore into mine, reading me. Then like a switch, he changes. He goes all caveman.
He thrusts hard and fast. Our bodies banging against the door. My hands are on his shoulders still as his fingers dig into my thighs. I’m begging for more and he soon flips me so my back is now to his front. He pulls my ass out a little and I feel his dick back at my entrance before he slides back in. Fuck… it feels deeper this way.
My hands are flat to the door and he thrusts over and over in a perfect rhythm until I scream out his name when my release hits me. It doesn’t take long until he joins me. He presses my body against the door and all I can hear is our heavy breathing.
I soon feel him move away from me, the heat that was surrounding me gone. I turn, pulling my dress down and see him adjusting himself. I pat down my hair and lean against the door, watching him.
“You can’t keep doing this,” he tells me and I look at him confused. “You can’t use me anytime you want. I probably deserve to feel like this. I’ve done it to plenty. But you doing it to me…” He looks to the ceiling then back to me. “It hurts after.” He places his hand on his heart.
I walk towards him slowly and press my hand to the one covering his heart. I look slowly up at him. “I own your heart… like you own mine,” I say softly.
“You mean…”
“If you still want me.” He lifts me, twirling me around.
“Of course I still want you.” He holds me. “All I want is you. Always you.” I smile, tears prickling my eyes.
“Just no more lies. We tell each other everything.”
“Deal.” He kisses me. “So, you are mine again?”
I nod. “I was always yours.” He kisses me again; my lips, cheeks, nose, until he is back to my lips again.
“I hate that I need to sit with my dad or I would be taking you out on a fancy date. We still haven’t don’t that yet.”
“Because we keep making out and getting side tracked,” I joke.
“But not now. Now I’m going to treat you like a princess. I’m going to take you out on so many dates that your head will spin.”
“I’m not complaining.” He twirls me again. “I need to get back or my mom will start to worry.”
“Message me once your dinner is over and I’ll try and get away, too.”
“Okay.” He kisses me one more time and I smile all the way back to my table.
“You were gone awhile. Are you okay?” Mom asks me.
“I feel a little hot.” I press my palms to my cheeks. I know I’m all flushed so saying I feel hot makes it look better than her knowing I just had sex in this posh place.
“Do you need anything?”
“I’m okay. I just needed fresh air.” I lie.
“We can reschedule,” Xander says. “My son is being useless like always, so if you need to rest…”
“I’m fine. Really. But thank you.” He gives me a smile and we open our menus and my head is glued to the words when I feel my body vibrate and I know that he’s near.
“It is about time you arrived,” I hear Xander say. “Sorry ladies for my son’s rudeness, but Marie, Sasha, this is my son Colin.” My eyes go wide and my blood goes cold. I place the menu down and look up, praying it’s another Colin, but nope, the man standing there is my Colin. His eyes go to mine and I see the shock there as well.
“Dad, what’s going on?” He looks to me and my mom.
“Sit, I want you to meet the woman I’m dating and her beautiful daughter.” Colin sits opposite me and we just look at one another.
“I didn’t even know you were dating,” Colin says.
“Xander, I thought you were going to tell him,” my mom says.
“I honestly thought I did.” He looks at his son and his eyes aren’t warm towards him. I remember everything Colin has said. He’s never there. They don’t ever talk. This man spends more time with my mom than with his son.
That is just wrong.
“I am so sorry, Colin, for just springing all this on you,” Mom says sweetly. “I’m Marie and I really do care so much for your father.” She smiles at Xander who smiles in return.
“It’s okay,” Colin says, looking to his hands.
“Your father says that you play sports.” Mom tries to make conversation with him.
“Football.”
“You hear that, honey?” Mom looks to me. “Could you imagine if he was one of the guys who had to help out with the talent show?” Mom laughs and I start to feel sick.
“What guys?” Xander asks.
“Well there is one guy on the football team and a few of his friends that had to help Sasha with her talent show. Just saying, wouldn’t it be a small world if they met before now?” I bite my lip.
“I’m actually surprised you two never met before.” Xander takes a drink of his water.
“If he’s on the football team we wouldn’t.” Colin’s eyes are on me. “I’m a music nerd and in high school, it’s like being in a different country.” Xander nods.
“I hate that you call yourself that.” Mom shakes her head.
“I don’t mind,” I say. The waiter comes back and we all place our orders even though I’m not really hungry.
We eat and talk but the longer the meal, the more I start to feel sick. Why would this happen to me? I’m finally happy, I’ve fallen in love, and the world throws this at me.
After desserts, we all get cups of coffees and teas and Xander starts tapping his cup with his spoon. I look over at him and he has a proud look on his face.
“I want to thank you both for coming to meet one another…”
“Even though I didn’t know they existed,” Colin says under his breath but I heard it and from the look on his dad's face, so did he.
“Marie and I have spent a lot of time together and we both know that life is too short. We need to grab happiness where we can.” I look to Colin and his eyes are on me and a tear falls so I quickly wipe it away. “I have fallen for this woman. This amazing, caring, sweet woman.” Mom blushes. “I asked for her hand in marriage and she accepted.” I look up at him and everything I ate starts to swirl in my stomach. I am going to be sick.
“You what?” Colin asks.
“We are going to get married. Next month.” The place starts to spin.
They are going to get married. Colin is going to be my stepbrother. I wouldn’t be able to be with him.
“You can’t do this.” Colin stands angrily. “I didn’t even know she existed and then you just throw all this on me.”
“You watch your tone, boy.”
“Why should I? You didn’t even have the nerve to tell me that there was a woman in your life. You didn’t let me process any of this. You just throw it on me and expect me to accept it.”
“Colin, this has nothing to do with you.”
Colin huffs. “You are my dad, I am your son. This has everything to do with me. You’re giving me a stepmother and a… a…” He can’t even say the word.
“Honey, I am so sorry that we…” Mom stands.
“This isn’t your fault. You didn’t know,” he says nicely to my mom. “This is the man you want to marry? He treats his son like he doesn’t exist. This is probably the first time I’ve seen him in two months.”
“Don’t be so melodramatic,” Xander says.
“Okay then, you tell me when the last time we saw each other was.” Xander opens his mouth and then closes it again.
“I love Marie and we are marrying each other.” Colin sits back down.
“Honey, you haven’t said anything.” Mom looks to me. I don’t know if I can even form words.
“Don’t you think you are rushing it?” I say softly.
“I love him, sweetie, you know how short life can be. You go to college soon and we want this to happen before you both drift off.” She looks to me and to Colin.
“You know I will support you no matter what.” Tears fall from my eyes. “I just want you to be happy.” She hugs me, thinking my tears are for her.
But they aren’t.
It’s for the boy I’m losing sitting opposite me.