Colin
I groan out into the room when my head starts banging. I feel like someone has got a jackhammer against my skull. The banging continues and I realize it’s not my head but my front door. I sit up from my couch, the place spinning a little.
I can’t believe I fell asleep on my couch again.
The banging continues. I feel like I could break someone’s face with how loud they are. I stand up, heading to the door, shouting to them that I’m coming but the knocking doesn’t stop. I open the door to see my father.
“Dad, what are you doing here?” He walks past me into my home. He looks around, his nose scrunched up. The place is a mess. Take-out boxes laying everywhere, empty bottles covering the floor and coffee table. I can’t even remember the last time I tidied up the place.
“You look like shit,” he says. I close the door and plonk back down on the couch. I lean forward, lifting up some empty cans of beer until I find one that’s half full and I take a long sip.
“You came here to tell me that? Thanks, Dad, I feel the love.” He stands in front of me, taking the drink from my hands. “I was drinking that,” I whine.
“Look at you…” He points down my body at the food stains on my shirt that have probably been there for days. When was the last time I had a shower? Shit, I probably stink. “It’s been a year, son, please stop doing this to yourself.” I stand up, walking away from him. I don’t need to hear his pity.
“What do you want, Dad? I know you’re not here just to rub in my face how shit my life is.” I turn and he is standing right there, watching me.
“I need your help.” I start to laugh. He needs my help? Now that’s funny.
“You need my help? I’m sure you could find someone else. If you don’t mind, I need to continue in my self-sorrow.” I head to the kitchen, fuck it’s even worse in here. I open the fridge to see its bare but I see a half bottle of vodka.
Score.
I grab a glass nearby, giving it a quick rinse under the tap before filling it up. Taking the first sip burns my throat but soon I will start to go numb. That’s what I need right now.
“I need your help,” I hear him say again behind me.
“I heard you, but I’m afraid I can’t help you. I’m useless.” I take another sip before the glass leaves my lips. I watch my father smash it into the sink. “What the fuck?”
“I get that you’re hurt, I get that your dream was crushed. I have given you space that you requested but I just can’t sit by and watch you throw your life away drinking. You are better than that.”
“Why can’t you just ignore me like you did when I was a kid? Where was all this love back then? Now you decide to become the father of the year? Be Mr. Family man?” I scoff at him.
“How many times do I need to apologize for that? I messed up. I know that, but I am trying to make up for the years I was a dick. I love you, son, I can’t watch you be like this.” His voice softens.
“It’s too late, Dad, this is who I am now. So, if you could please go.” I start to walk to the door to kick him out.
“Sasha’s in trouble.” I freeze to a stop. I turn to make sure he isn’t joking; looking into his eyes, I know he’s serious.
“Is she hurt?” He shakes his head and I exhale the breath that I was holding.
“Someone has been stalking her. It started off as flowers and letters but they are getting into her changing rooms.”
“It could be some groupie. Flowers and notes are nothing.” I watch him take out a brown envelope and he passes it to me. The words that I see haunt me. Soon, Sasha. Soon. I look inside to see photo after photo of Sasha sleeping.
My eyes trail over her.
I haven’t seen her in years. The last time I spoke to her was when she called me when we were supposed to have that family dinner. When I got recruited. It feels like a lifetime ago. I’ve watched on the news and on social media of her reaching the big time. Her dreams have come true.
I continue looking through the pictures, seeing her sleeping in different rooms, which must be hotel rooms. One place I assume is her house as I can see the family photos in the background. I stop at one when I see a hand on her leg. I look closer and can tell it’s a man’s hand, its masculine.
Whoever is stalking her can touch her. It makes my skin crawl that she has been alone. Being vulnerable and this sicko being close to her.
“Why hasn’t he made his move yet?” I look up to my dad.
“I’m unsure, but from the writing on the front, he’s waiting. He wants her to know that he is close to her. He is obsessed with her, this has been going on for months, but he is upping his game. I’m afraid to think what will happen when he is ready to show himself.”
“What do you want me to do? Have you gone to the police?”
“Of course, I have, but there’s only so much they can do. We have hired extra security. Her home is getting searched, cameras being placed, the works, but if this guy is insane, he will find a way of getting to her.”
“I still don’t see where I come into all this.”
“I need you to become her bodyguard.” I look at him like he’s crazy.
“You want me to be her bodyguard?” I shake my head. I must still be drunk, this is just insane.
“I know you would watch her. Keep her safe. She needs you right now.” I chuckle to myself. The irony of all this. He wanted me to stay away from her and now he wants me to get close to her.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea. Besides, she probably doesn’t want me to be around her.”
“You loved her once. She doesn’t want a stranger following her around.”
“You think she will want me to follow her around?” I watch him scratch his neck. “Does she know that you are here asking me?”
He stands up straighter. “No, she doesn’t.”
“Thought so.”
“If you don’t do this, she could get hurt. Could you live with yourself if something happened to her?” I look to the ground. It would kill me if anything happened to her, if she got hurt in any way. I want to protect her, but, how can I?
I’m damaged.
I’m not the guy I once was. I’m not the guy she knew.
All I do now is drink and fuck. Anything to help me forget about all my regrets. How can he ask me to be close to her and not touch her?
“I can’t,” I say quietly.
“Then I hope you can live with yourself if anything happens to that poor girl,” my dad says sternly and heads to the door, slamming it shut behind him. I sit back down on the couch and look through the pictures once again.
I look at the picture of the guy's hand and I close my eyes and images of Sasha scream out to me. Pleading to me to protect her. I see a shadow stand behind her, mocking me. I open my eyes, my breathing coming in fast.
What is wrong with me?
I jump off the couch, running out to catch up with my dad, and when I get to the ground floor, I see him on the sidewalk. I run faster until I’m standing in front of him.
“I’ll do it.”
“Good. You’re doing the right thing. Go get showered and grab some stuff. We’ll head back now.” I nod and turn to leave.
“Colin,” He yells after me. I turn and his face has gone serious.
“You are to protect her and that’s it. Nothing else.” I know what he means. Don’t fuck her. I nod and head back to my apartment, grabbing my things and taking a quick shower. With every movement I make, the worse the butterflies get in my stomach.
I’m going to see her.
I just hope she doesn’t mind seeing me.
* * *
We pull up to a recording studio and I climb out of the car, following behind my father. We had to make a quick stop to get me a new suit as appearances are everything, according to my father. If I’m going to be Sasha’s new bodyguard, I need to make sure I look the part.
Heading up the elevator is silent.
Neither of us says a word.
I follow him down a hall until he opens a door and I follow in behind. My heart feels like it just got a kick start. All I hear is her voice, her sweet beautiful voice. The voice that mesmerized me back in high school.
I have heard every song she has ever sung, but it never compares to hearing her live. I walk further into the room, seeing men playing with switches, adjusting sounds. I look at the glass and can see Sasha and her band playing. I feel like I’m eighteen again.
They all look different in certain ways but at the same time, the same.
My eyes are glued to Sasha when I feel arms getting wrapped around my neck and I turn to see Marie hugging me, I hug her back in a tight embrace.
“It’s so good to see you, sweetie, I’ve missed you.” She pulls back and I see tears in her eyes. She has learned to love me as her own. I know it has hurt her for me being away for so long.
“I’ve missed you too, Marie. I’m sorry I haven’t visited in a while.” She pulls me to her again.
“I understand. You needed your space. I’m just happy you’re back and thank you again for doing this. I just know I wouldn’t be able to sleep if someone wasn’t looking after her. Just knowing they have been doing God knows what while she’s been sleeping.” She shivers. “No mother should have to witness horrible things happen to their child. Even stepchild.” I look into her eyes and I know she is talking about me and my injury.
“I will keep her safe.” She smiles up at me and cups my cheek.
“I know you will. You’re a good man.” I turn to look back to Sasha and her eyes are on me. It’s like she is glued to the spot. Her mouth is open a little, the surprise all over her face. I give her a small smile and soon her face morphs into anger.
“What is he doing here?” she says angrily. Her hands are on her hips, glaring at me.
I think I kind of deserve that.
“He’s going to be your new bodyguard,” Marie yells into a microphone that echoes into her room.
“Over my dead body. I do not want him as my bodyguard. Get someone else.” Her eyes avoid mine.
“Sasha, we need him. He’s strong, capable, and he will keep you safe.” She huffs.
“I don’t need him. Get someone else or I don’t have one at all.” Her voice gets sterner.
“Stop acting like a diva. I’m your bodyguard, so suck it up.” I say to her and if looks could kill, I would be buried six feet under right now.
“Hey, Colin, how’s things?” Leo waves.
“Not bad, killer hangover but I’m good.”
“I’ve been there, my friend.”
“Stop talking to him,” Sasha yells at Leo. “I am not a diva.”
“If you stomp your foot, you would be. So, come on princess, get back to work.”
“You’re not the boss of me.”
“Nope, but from now on I’m stuck to you like glue. The more you complain, the more fun it will be for me. So, go on, complain, whine. I will love every second that I upset that little face of yours.” I smirk at her and I see her hands go into fists.
“I am going to kill you,” she spits at me.
“Look forward to it. Now get to singing.” I walk away from the glass and head to my father.
“I hate you!” I hear her shout.
“Hope you're pleased with yourself, she hates my guts and she is going to be a pain in my ass.”
“At least she will be safe. I like that she hates you, it will make things easier.”
“For you maybe. She is going to act like a spoiled child.” He chuckles at me.
“Like you, you mean. Back at your place you were acting like a baby. You’ve been acting like one that needs a pacifier for the past year.” I cross my arms.
“You’re not funny.”
He smiles. “I like to think I am.” I groan.
“I’m going to hate this.”
“I am going to love every second.” I give him a look and he just continues to smile at me.
I sit in the back as I watch Sasha and her band play. After two hours, they call it a day and not once does Sasha look in my direction. I watch her talk to her friends and then she leaves.
“Follow her,” Dad says and I stand, sighing before jogging after her. I see her getting into an elevator and I quickly run to her, stopping the doors from closing.
“What do you think you’re doing?” She glares at me.
“Doing my job cupcake.” I smile to her.
“I don’t need you following me.”
“I beg to differ. My dad has hired me to do a job, and that’s what I’m going to do.”
“I can’t believe this is happening to me,” she mumbles under her breath.
“Believe it.” Her eyes go to mine and I give her a wink.
“You’re already starting to annoy me.”
“That means I’m doing my job right.”
“Couldn’t you just do something else? I’m sure a popular guy like you is too busy to look after his stepsister.” She spews the words out at me. I am starting to get pissed off. I push her against the far wall, my body blocking her in.
“You listen to me princess. Some freak is watching you, taking photos, touching you as you sleep. You may hate that I’m here, but grow the fuck up until the guy stops or gets locked up. Whichever comes first.”
“You can’t speak to me like that.” I lean in closer to her.
“I can talk to you however I please. You may be some big shot now with a stick up your ass, but I am doing my fucking job. My father had to beg me to do this, I didn’t want to look after your righteous ass, but I am. I don’t give two fucks if you like it or not. You are stuck with me, got it?” Her eyes glare into mine.
“You’re a dick.”
“You know all about my dick, don’t you princess?” Her eyes go wider.
“Stop it,” she growls.
“What, don’t you like remembering how I made you scream? How you begged for more?” I lean my body against hers. “Do you still remember me being inside you?” I feel her chest rising more rapidly against my chest. “I marked you, remember. My come was spread all over your body, do you remember?” I feel my dick hardening.
“Colin.” She breathes.
“You remember,” I say softly. Her eyes stay on mine. My body is demanding me to kiss her, to taste her. To lick every inch of her, but I know I can’t. I lean my face in closer so my mouth is close to hers.
“Don’t fuck with me, princess.” Like a switch, she pushes me back.
“You’re an asshole.”
“I’ve heard worse.”