Months later…
IT’S CRAZY TO THINK THAT when I moved into this apartment years ago, I thought it was then that I was an adult. Starting a life for myself, pursuing my ambitions, becoming the woman I wanted to be, and a woman my parents could be proud of.
But walking through, checking closets and cabinets, filling and stacking the last of the moving boxes, I recognize it for what it was; a stepping stone.
The life I thought I was starting never really began until Stone walked into it. The ambitions and dreams I was pursuing weren’t real and achievable until Stone shined a light down the dark path I was walking, to show me the way. The woman I thought I was becoming was not half the woman Stone has shown me I want to be.
My circle has always been small, exclusive—selective. My thoughts and views narrow and lacking in empathy and the open-mindedness that I thought I possessed.
He showed me that not all things in this life are as they seem. Everyone has a story to tell, and not everything covered in shadows is to be feared.
As it vibrates with a notification, I pull my phone from the back pocket of my jeans, seeing a text from Mom as I unlock the screen.
Aston says he’s firing up the grill at 6. You two better get a move on.
I scroll over to Stone’s name and type out a text.
Just stacked up the last of the boxes. Almost here with the truck?
I stick my phone back in my pocket and start for the kitchen just as the unmistakable shape of him fills the open doorway of my now empty apartment.
“Surely you’ve learned by now that I’m always on time?” He smirks at me, hands gripping the doorframe above his head.
“And surely you’ve learned by now that I question everything, even your impeccable timing.” I walk to him, running my hands over the firm skin of his abdomen that shows just above his belt where his shirt rides up. He leans down and kisses me. That soft, slow promise of more.
There’s always more with Stone.
“You ready?” I ask.
“For you? Always.” His hands slip under my shirt, the wide plane skimming the skin at my sides. “I’ve missed you this week.” He says, his voice low.
“Just think, after today I’m all yours.” I take his face in my hands, placing a chaste kiss on his lips. “But if we don’t get going we’ll be late.” I reach into my pocket and pull out my keys, singling out my apartment key and freeing it from the keychain. Walking into the kitchen, I lay the key atop the counter, taking one last look around and smiling, knowing for the first time in a long time that so much good is yet to come.
“Are these the only two?” Stone points to the boxes by the door and I nod. “Here, this one’s lighter.” He lifts one and hands it over to me.
We carry the boxes out into the hallway, pausing as I lock the door and close it behind us. Turning to look at Stone, I feel as though I’ve opened one instead.
“You good?” he asks, eyes looking for reservation in mine. I smile because I know he won’t find any.
“Perfect.”
Leaving the moving truck full of boxes containing all my life’s possessions in the driveway of what will now be our home instead of just Stone’s, feels indescribable. I can’t help but look over at him as we drive to Aston and Liz’s house, wondering how he feels. If the way he’s held my hand, thumb rubbing the top in circles that keep my thoughts focused on him, are any indication, then I would say I’m safe assuming he’s as nervously excited as I am.
“Are you nervous to tell your Dad and Aston?” Stone asks as we pull through the gate. I shake my head.
“I’ve already mentioned that you and I were going into business together, just haven’t said exactly what.”
“You think they’ll be disappointed that it’s not a more lucrative business choice? I know they want you to be taken care of and I want them to know you will be.”
I squeeze his hand as we pull into their driveway, leaning over to kiss his cheek as he puts the truck in park.
“They just care that we’re happy, no more, no less.” Reaching for the door handle, I look up and down the street, pausing when I spot Celia’s car. “I thought your mom couldn’t get off work?” Stone follows my eyes.
“Yeah, she probably thinks I’m going to propose or we’re going to tell everyone you’re pregnant. She couldn’t miss that, could she?” His smile is full, making me match it in return.
“Man, is she going to be disappointed.” I laugh as we open our doors and step out, Stone taking my hand as we head up the walkway.
“Nah, she knows I’m never letting you go. If I had my way, you’d already have my ring on your finger.”
My stomach dips at his words, knowing the truth in them.
I open the front door, not bothering to ring the bell knowing that everyone is out back. When we step through the French doors of the back patio, I’m pleased to see that everyone is here and I’m not going to have to wait long to announce our news. Stone’s brow furrows when he sees Thorn in attendance and he looks over at me.
“What? I felt like he needed to be here, too. He is part of the family after all.”
Thorn walks up right on cue.
“Hey, fucker. Told you I’d get to come party with you and your high-class friends someday.” He slaps Stone on the shoulder, leaning over to kiss my cheek.
“Yeah, well, my girlfriend likes you more than I do, so you have her to thank for that.”
“Don’t you worry about me and L. We got it like that.” Thorn winks at me and Stone mouths “L” questioningly. I shrug, bumping fists with Thorn as I spot Liam bouncing in Liz’s lap.
“Excuse me boys, I have to see about a cutie,” I say, kissing Stone’s cheek before walking over to the table where all the ladies are sitting. I squat down in front of Liz, making eye contact with Liam.
When he spots me, his chubby little arms begin to flail and a grin forms on his mouth, looking even more like Madi than he did last week.
“You better come to Aunt Lydia before all these girls steal my hugs.” I take him in my arms, squeezing him tight.
“I’m beginning to think the only reason you come around anymore is to see this chunky monkey,” Madi says, using her cane to stand and give me a hug.
“That’s only half true,” I say, pulling back to look her over. “You look really good. How are you liking the new job?”
“For right now, it’s great. Not too demanding. It’s good to get out of the house.”
I nod, knowing what a big step this is for her. The Tribune needed a freelance photographer to work on some commission pieces for the summer and Madi was just released from the intensive phase of her physical therapy, so the timing worked out perfectly.
I look around the table, smiling at my mother and Celia. “I’m glad you were able to make it, Celia.” I bend and give her a hug, then Mom, Liam’s hands fisting strands of my hair as I do.
“It’s the first Labor Day weekend I’ve had off since I can remember. Wouldn’t miss it,” Celia says, tickling at Liam’s foot as it dangles at my side. “I sure can’t wait until you kids slow down long enough to give me a couple of these to spoil.”
Liam kicks and giggles, squirming in my arms.
I look around, locating Stone standing over with the guys, surprised to see he and Jerry talking with my Dad, sipping from their beers and looking as if this is how it’s always been, how it always will be.
“I can’t wait either,” I reply, my heart growing at the mere thought of bringing a little human into the world with all the good parts of Stone and me.
“Is that the big news you have to tell us?” My mom’s voice is in that high register that brings me out of my baby daydream, and I look at her, confused, realizing what I’ve said. I shake my head.
“One day,” I say, Stone looking up to see me looking at him, one side of his mouth quirking up into a grin, eyes saying so much more.
“Here, I think you better give him back before you catch the fever,” Liz says, taking Liam over to his playpen. My hand falls to my pocket, feeling for the presence of the circular object, the weight of it feeling much heavier with the knowledge of what I’m about to do.
“I guess I better go say hi to my son since he’s apparently forgotten his manners.” Celia winks at me as she stands from her seat, making her way over to where the guys are.
“Maybe we should go see if Margaret needs any help in the kitchen,” Madi says and I nod, taking one last look over my shoulder at Stone as we head inside.
My heart has felt like it’s going to pound out of my chest since my feet hit the floor this morning. Not for any one reason, but a combination of several.
All the feelings that fighting used to bring me have been satisfied and replaced by the ones only Lydia can make me feel. Every day with her brings a new challenge, and I fucking love it. She challenges me to be not only a better man and brother and son and friend, but a better human. And I know when I take my last breath, I’ll have her to thank for the impact I leave behind.
And we’ve only just gotten started.
For months, we’ve talked at length about what we really want to do with our lives, how we can use our experiences and skill to better serve those around us. And if it hadn’t been for her determination and persistence, the things I only dreamed of doing would never be set in motion, and now, turning into reality.
Every time she looks at me from across the wide scape of the Eriksson’s back veranda, I get the sense that today is the day to finally do it.
She fought me, but after months of telling her that I didn’t want to wake up without her beside me, she finally decided to move in with me. I didn’t even wait a week after she came to the fight to start in on her because I knew. Shit, if I’m honest with myself, I knew the night I laid in bed with her and listened to her tell me about her nightmares, long before I was willing to admit that she got inside me and stayed there.
These days, marriage seems to have lost its meaning, but I want her to wear my ring on her finger, to take my last name and build this life with me from the ground up.
I’ve carried this ring around in my pocket for months, waiting for the day that she quits fighting me on it, but I know she has her own reasons. She loves me, and God, do I love her.
Jerry hands me another beer and I nod in thanks, twisting the top off and drinking from the bottle.
“Do you have any furniture that you need help moving? I have tomorrow off, too, if you do,” he offers.
“Lydia donated her furniture, other than a few pieces, so I think we’re good. Besides, I’m sure Mom could find a few things for you to do with the remodel.” I smirk.
Jerry shakes his head.
“I’m about sick of that damn remodel. But we’ve finally got the money to spend, and she’s doing a pretty good job of getting rid of it.”
“Well, then maybe I should return that new leather recliner I got for you,” a voice says from behind Jerry.
He turns to see Celia walking up behind him. He shoots me a look and I hold up a hand.
“Don’t look at me. How do you think she always caught us doing bad shit? She’s a ninja.” She laughs, leaning in to hug me. “You’ll have to teach me that one of these days.”
“A ninja never reveals their secrets.” She winks. We watch as Aston and Stellan get the meat from the grill. “Honey, don’t just stand there, see if they need some help.” She shoos Jerry off toward them. When he’s out of earshot, I ask her a question that’s been nagging at me.
“So, why don’t you tell me how you two suddenly came into all this cash? You haven’t taken money from me in months.” She looks around us, voice low when she answers.
“We don’t need your money anymore, son.”
My eyes narrow, waiting for her to elaborate.
“Nobody has come knocking at our door in months.”
“You mean, nobody?”
She nods and we look at each other for a long beat, understanding passing between us.
“Any idea how something like that happens after all these years?”
“I’ve thought about it a hundred times, and the only thing I can trace it back to is Rush’s legal trouble. Our last visit was before that, then nothing since. Honestly, I figured you had something to do with it, figured you would get around to telling me in your own time like you do with everything else.”
My heart rate begins to pick up for the hundredth time today and I take a long drink from the beer in my hand. Looking over Celia’s shoulder, I make eye contact with Lydia just before her and Madison go inside the house. I look back to Celia.
My heart stops.
“Lydia.”
The smell of the kitchen makes my stomach growl as we walk in, the center island covered with serving platters full of side dishes and desserts.
“You girls are just in time,” Margaret says, taking rolls from the oven. “Everything is ready to start taking out.”
“I think you outdid yourself as always, Mags,” Madison says, grabbing a platter with her free hand. I study her for a second, keeping my concern hidden as she balances her cane in one hand and the food in the other. She pushes herself, and she’d kick any of our asses if we tried to stop her.
I pick up two more platters and follow behind Margaret as she opens the door, leaving it open for Madi. One by one, we bring platters of food and place them out across the long table until there’s barely enough room for us all to sit down around it.
“All right, everyone, dig in,” Aston says from the head of the table. As everyone stands, placing food on their plates before finding a place to sit, I look up to see Stone watching me, a deeply intricate look reflected in his depths.
Right away, I wish I’d let him take me on the hardwood floor just inside my apartment before we left. I sit in the chair across the table from him, crossing my legs tightly to appease the ache for him that never ceases.
The devastatingly devious grin that barely rises the corner of his mouth tells me all I need to know, making me feel bare before the entire lot of my family.
“Oh shoot, I forgot the caddy of condiments,” Margaret says, pushing her chair back. I all but jump from my seat.
“Eat, Margaret. I’ll run and get it.” My heart races all the way to the kitchen, and when I reach the refrigerator, I stick my head in for a long moment, letting the cold air sooth the heat of my skin.
When I feel the rough edges of Stone’s hands slide up the back of my thighs, a natural reaction would be to squeal or jump, but I know him and I knew he would come for me. I close the door and turn to him, my arms flying around his neck as he squeezes my ass and pulls my legs around him, setting me atop the island.
He eats me alive with his mouth, lips and tongue vicious in their quest to taste me. Just the way I love him—too much, yet never enough. One hand grips my ass, pulling me into him, the other fists my hair, tilting my head back to look at me.
“Where did you think you were slipping off to, goddess?”
“Somewhere I knew you’d follow.”
“Cause you know I’d follow you anywhere.” And I do. No matter how much we push and pull, I know in the end we will always be right here—together. “Would’ve been much smarter on your part if you’d waited until we weren’t expected back at the table, though. Then I could eat what I’m really craving.”
I push my heels against his ass, pressing him harder into me. His lips part and a thrill runs through me.
“Nah. I like making you wait.”
“Then you better be ready to pay for your mistakes when I get you alone.”
“Counting on it.”
He kisses me again, groaning into my mouth as he lifts me down to my feet. He slaps me hard across the ass as I lean into the fridge and pull out the condiment caddy, making me pause as a jolt runs straight to my clit.
This is going to be the longest barbeque of my life.
When we walk up to the table, I’m relieved that everyone is engulfed in conversations, unaware of our return. I subtly smooth my hair over my shoulder as I sit, Stone placing the caddy in the center of the table before filling his own seat.
I smile, watching as Liam gets passed around from one lap to another, grabbing at food on everyone’s plate. When he finally makes his way down to our end, Dad holds him for just a second, until Liam starts reaching out for Stone. Stone lays down his fork and holds out his hands to him, a heart-stopping smile spreading wide across his lips.
I can’t look away.
“All right, Lydia, I hear you’ve got some news. Lay it on us,” Dad says across from me. I blink up at him.
I look back at Stone, aware that we apparently have the floor. He looks at me through the one eye that’s not covered with Liam’s chubby hands, nodding as best he can.
“Well, Dad, Aston, I’ve mentioned to you both recently that I’ve finally decided on a career path. I will still be practicing law, but on more of a pro bono basis for at risk teens and women and children in domestic cases.” The look on both their faces is nearly identical, which I expected.
“Consulting?” Aston asks. I nod and shrug.
“Sort of. Stone and I have decided to do this together, so we’ve taken ownership of the building next to his gym. Thorn’s crew will begin work on the renovations next week, while Stone and I finish the necessary steps to gain our permits and licensing.” My cheeks tingle I’m smiling so hard. “If all goes well, the door to the Fighting for Us Boys and Girls Club should open after the first of the year.” The silence is collective as smiles slowly form on the mouths of just about everyone-- everyone but Dad and Aston. I knew they’d have concerns, but I know in the end they will understand our long-term goal, and recognize our need to make an impact.
“Well, I think it sounds amazing, honey,” my mother says, causing my father to look over at her. “Oh, come on, Stellan. We’ve always known her intentions, and honestly, I couldn’t be more proud.” She looks from him to me. “If there is anything you need, you know I’m there. Maybe a few art pieces to hang around? I’ve recently come across a very modern, contemporary artist with some pieces I think would be perfect.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I give her a wide smile, tamping down the tiny tinge of hurt that starts to form in my chest, but looking up at Stone and realizing that nothing could take away from our decision to do this together.
“Have you reached out for any investors, Lydia?” Liz says from down the table and my eyes drift from Stone to her.
“Not formally. But Mr. Jenkins donated the building, and Thorn and a few members of the crew are donating the labor for the renovations.”
“That’s only if you put a plaque with my name on it in the front lobby.” Thorn winks, tilting his beer toward me before taking a drink. I smile and roll my eyes.
“We’ll put up a plaque all right. One with your mugshot and a warning,” Stone says. Thorn pretends to scratch his nose with his middle finger.
“I have always been told I should come with a warning label,” Thorn smarts back, garnering a laugh from most at the table. Everyone but my dad who hasn’t looked up in a long minute.
Madi pushes up from her seat, kissing the top of my head as she passes, knowing the underlying feelings I’m having despite the smile planted on my lips.
“All right, little man. Time for your nap.” She reaches out and Liam considers her a moment before deciding to let go of Stone and go to her. She steadies him on her hip with one arm, carting them toward the patio door with her cane in the other.
“I better go see if she needs me,” Margaret says quietly, making her way inside behind Madi. I smile to myself because I’m sure that woman has taken a few cussings from Madison over the last few months for being so attentive. It will be a while before Madison gets her point across, I’m sure.
“Helaena tells me you two are going to stop by her townhouse today,” Aston says, and I nearly spew the liquid in my mouth all over the table. I look from Aston to Stone, his brows furrowed in question.
“Uh, yeah. Yes. I wanted to see the finished renovations while we were on this side of town.” I try and recover, having not told Stone we were going by there.
“We went over the other night. She has taste, I’ll give her that,” Liz interjects. Stone’s face straightens, but he studies me. I shrug in apology and he smirks.
“How is Rush liking Northwestern so far?” Mom asks, looking to Celia.
“Kora, I can’t believe it, but he’s really liking it. He’s been in a funk the last few months, but he’s settling in. Several of the guys on his wrestling team are in the same dorm, so that’s helped, I think.” She smiles and looks over at Stone, and then at me knowingly. “Now that Rush is at college and these two are riding off into the sunset, I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself.”
“Well, if it’s got anything to do with more renovations, I hate to tell these two, but I may be sleeping on their couch for a while,” Jerry pipes in. Stone laughs and shakes his head, giving me a look that only I know.
The mention of Rush makes me think of all that happened, and now it seems a distant memory that makes my heart grow for Stone every time it crosses my mind. I smile as I look down at my hands, picking at my nails and thinking of the night Stone fought. How he just did it and fixed everything and left with me like it was nothing, like it was just something he does, not who he is.
Clink, clink, clink!
“I don’t normally make toasts, but I feel like today deserves one.” My father’s voice breaks my thoughts as he taps the side of the glass bottle in his hand, a hush falling over the table as we look up at him, standing from his seat. “This last year has been a tough one for this family, but I’d like to give a little due credit to my daughter. Not because she’s mine, but because her heart and determination is hers alone, and something that can’t be taught.” He looks at me now and I have to swallow down the build of emotion in my throat. “Lydia, I’ve always challenged you, been your toughest critic. I knew you would do great things, but today you’ve exceeded my expectations of great. I’m proud of you and I support you in all things.”
I’m stunned. He’s been so quiet, and all this time I thought he was sitting there, stewing in disappointment, I guess he was finding his own words.
“Thank you, Dad,” I say, my voice strained from my tight hold on my emotions. He then looks to Stone, who sits up straighter in his seat.
“And Stone, it would be unfair if I didn’t acknowledge your partnership and the role you’ve played in that. As a father, you can only hope that your little girl finds someone who treats her the way you do. Thank you for not taking that lightly and putting a smile on her face.” Stone nods to my father and Dad raises his bottle. “To Lydia and Stone and all that’s to come.”
We raise our glasses, cheers and clinking, smiles on the faces of everyone I hold dear. And just when I think my heart will overflow, Stone stands, extending his hand to my father. When Dad takes Stone’s hand in his, they exchange a look that makes my stomach dip—one that speaks of the future.
I asked Stellan for permission to formally propose to Lydia a month ago. So, when he shook my hand, I knew what the look we exchanged today meant. I know he and Kora are traditional, and I wanted to not only prove my love for their daughter, but show them that I will never stop.
I want to spend the rest of my life giving her everything. I want to give her my last name. I want to dream huge fucking dreams with her and spend the rest of our life making them come true. I want to lay her down on our bed every night and make love to her over and over until every part of her knows every part of me, and neither can live and breathe without the other.
We are both strong, driven individuals that require little to no support from others. But lately, I’ve found myself wanting her with me, needing her by my side in all things.
I was a bit caught off guard when Aston mentioned going by Helaena’s today. Lydia usually gives me a rundown of all she has to do any given day, over coffee or during our morning calls. She didn’t mention it, but as we pull up in front of the townhouse, I chalk it up to a busy day.
“I figured Helaena would have plans for Memorial weekend,” I say to Lydia as we park. She’s looking in her bag, unanswering, when she pulls out a key.
“She does. But she left the key on my desk Friday.”
My eyes widen a little at her.
“You really want to see the house that bad?” She leans over to me.
“Thought I’d collect some ideas of all the stuff I’m about to do to our house.” She kisses me, laughing as she pulls away, leaving me with my mouth hanging open as she gets out of the truck.
I get out after her.
“Oh, no you don’t. You’ve been talking to my mom too much.” I walk up to the door behind her as she unlocks it, the street light illuminating the space around us. “What is it with women always wanting to change shit?”
She laughs, pushing the door open and walking over to the alarm pad on the wall, entering a code.
“I’m not changing anything.” She turns to look at me, those blue eyes twinkling with devious intent. “Just…enhancing.” I smack her ass as she starts up the stairs. “Come on. It’s up here.”
“On the roof deck?” We reach the top, Lydia unlocking the door that accesses the roof. When I step up onto the wood-planked deck, lights twinkle brightly above us, casting an amber glow over everything, candles in glass vases placed around the floor, flickering in the early evening air. My brow furrows. “She leaves it like this all the time? She’s going to burn—”
Lydia looks at me, eyes seeing straight down to my soul with a completely different expression than they carried just moments before. She shakes her head subtly, grabbing my hand and walking me to an outdoor sectional in the center.
As we sit, a feeling comes over me. One that feels singular and specific to this moment. One that rises from my gut to the back of my throat and only intensifies as she takes my other hand and looks down at our fingers entwined together.
“Goddess, what’s going—” She places a finger over my mouth and I look at her like I did the very first night I saw her here. Like a beacon in the dark, desperate for the need to come ashore and blinded by her light.
“I wanted to bring you back here, where this started—where I feel like I came alive. Because that’s what you did for me, Stone. That night, the woman you found in my place was merely a shell of who she wanted to be, dreamed of being. We weren’t supposed to be anything, but we are. Now, I can’t imagine living one day of the rest of my life without you. I know that you don’t show your true self to many, but with me, you gave so freely of your heart, your time, your dedication and loyalty, with no expectations of anything in return.”
She lets go of one of my hands, reaching down into the pocket of her shorts, my heart pounding in my ears as she pulls something small out. When she uncurls her fingers, a round, platinum band sits in the middle of her palm. I look from it to meet her eyes, glistening with unshed tears.
“I’ve never had to ask anything of you. You were there without a second guess, always the one left to ask for my heart, my time, my love. I wanted to be the one to ask you to spend your life with me at your side.” She lifts the ring, holding it between two fingers as she runs another along the hammered surface of the metal band. “When I saw this ring, it reminded me of you with each scar and divot of the steel. You can see that whoever crafted this used a hammer to render all the unique markings, and I wanted nothing more than to see it on your finger.”
My heart swells with pride and emotion entirely too complex to express. We look at each other, searching and silenced by all the unnecessary. I lean against the back of the couch, pulling her to straddle me as I go, our eyes never leaving the other. As she settles, I reach under her and into my own pocket, pulling out a ring of my own.
“And I wanted to see this one on yours.”
She looks down at the solitary diamond ring between my fingers, tears finally too heavy and spilling down the smooth skin of her cheek. I run the pad of my thumb along the trail, wiping it away and cupping her face. “I’ve always had to work for what I have, Lydia. And God knows, you made me work for your heart. It’s my most precious possession and the only thing I want. I could lose everything tomorrow, but I don’t ever want to lose your love.” I pull her closer to me, blown apart but completely unsurprised that she would do this, unwilling to let her do it alone. “Be my wife, Lydia. Wear my ring, take my name, live your life, with me.”
Tears fall heavier now and it’s all I can do not to join her. She cups my face, leaning in, lips a breath away from mine.
“I love you. You’re my partner in all things.” She kisses me gently, pulling away just enough to speak. “I’ll wear yours if you wear mine.”
I’ve opened and closed so many chapters in my life that it feels good to know I’ve begun one that will continue forever. That’s the thing about a happy ending—they aren’t really an ending at all.
More Shadows of Chicago Novels to come!
Pricked – Thorn’s story
Surged- Rush’s story
And a special spinoff series featuring Madison’s story!
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