AARON

I wondered if it was too much for her, and honestly I’d understand. The day as a whole had been overwhelming for me, too. It wasn’t like walking on eggshells or anything that severe, but there was an element of cautiousness at the forefront of my mind.

If she’d been anxious with me there, she’d hidden it beautifully the whole night, but standing there alone in the dark inside her room she seemed more vulnerable than ever. More apprehensive.

True to form, the change in her demeanor flipped a switch inside me.

Earlier she’d been graceful when I was doing my best to find my footing. She’d had the world by the horns and never even broken a sweat around Delaney, although my presence was new and unfamiliar. But, now that it was just the two of us, she was uncertain, and that compelled me to step up.

“I want you to stay,” she whispered.

“Then what’s wrong?” I wasn’t sure if she’d tell me, flat-out, but it was essential that I ask.

She lifted her arms above her head and then crossed them, holding on to her elbows. “Nothing’s wrong, that’s the thing. It’s been such a good day and I don’t want to mess it up. I just want to freeze this feeling right here.” Her arms fell and she took a step back, sitting on the edge of her bed.

I dropped my duffel along the wall and sat beside her.

“Even good days, the best days, have their limits. We don’t have to be greedy.”

Her hands fidgeted on her lap, and her head was down. I wondered if she needed space, if I was crowding her. She’d said she didn’t want me to leave, but did she need me to? Did she need time to let things set in?

It seemed like the wise, cautious thing to do. Maybe that’s why I refused to do it.

I’d been that guy for four years and it had done me no favors. I was there because she’d invited me. She’d asked me to stay.

Regardless of how the night ended, I wouldn’t leave her. She’d had too much experience with that. Being left. Being abandoned.

Although, she was no victim. Faith was a strong mother. A kind and beautiful woman. A hard worker. No thanks to anyone but herself.

I worked my way back to the headboard and she followed, nestling into my side, and I wrapped my arms around her. A few seconds later, she sank fully into me, resting her head on my chest.

It was a new way of caring for her. Quietly. I didn’t have to worry about saying the right things, and it wasn’t about sex. It was about just being there.

For who knows how long, I stroked her arm and she held onto the side of my T-shirt. There was no TV to distract us from our thoughts. No music to get lost in. It was only the two of us in the near darkness on top of the covers, fully clothed, breathing and letting it all sink in.

Together. 

“This is nice,” she stated after a while. “I’ve never felt this content. This safe.”

Safe. Hearing that word from her gave me more pride than I’d ever felt before. I’d been a soldier, sworn to protect my country, its values, and our allies. I was a fireman educated through study and experience to know how to handle and help in dire situations.

She was safe in my arms, and I was the better for it, as I traced circles on her skin.

My hold on her tightened, briefly. Responding to her words, I clung to her.

Faith’s body replied with acceptance, climbing onto my chest. Her chin perched on my sternum, the light in the hall making her hair glow like it was electrified.

Softly, she spoke. “It’s just the first time I’ve ever done this.”

She couldn’t be talking about sex. About being in a bed with me, with someone.

My lips reached for her forehead while my fingers tangled in the wild curls and the nape of her head, and the pads of my thumbs smoothed over her jaw. She took a deep breath when my mouth hesitantly pulled away.

“I’m serious.” Her petite hands threaded under my arms and dove beneath the pillow behind me. “I’ve never just laid with someone in the dark to just be there for a damn minute.”

“Me either.”

She chuckled and dug her face into my shirt. “I’m sure it’s not high up there on a guy’s list of things to do in a bed.”

“You won’t find me complaining.”

She shimmied higher up my body until we were face to face.

“Fay, I swear I wanted all of your firsts.” I licked my lips and chose my words. “I’m not saying this to get anywhere more than where we are right now.” That needed to be clear, among other things. “I thought about it a lot back then. I just didn’t want to take things from you and leave with them. It wouldn’t have been right.”

“Do you always do the right thing?”

“I wish.”

“You imagined it, huh? Our first time? Back then?” Her voice was laced with a smile. Her legs sank to the mattress on either side of mine and then she pulled them closer, until she straddled me.

“All the time.”

Unexpectedly, I felt her press against me. “Show me.” Her breath in my ear, she kissed my neck below it. “When you thought about it, where were we?”

Where hadn’t we been in my imagination?

“My bed in my old room,” I confessed.

“Give me that—the way you pictured it—I want that first.”

Ironically, in my fantasy we’d had to be quiet because my parents were down the hall. With Delaney only a few doors down, we’d be authentically hushed to not wake her.

And fuck everything else, I wanted that first, too.

“Well, I would have been a little nervous. I was a virgin,” I admitted.

“So we’re in your room. On your bed, just like this. What was next?”

I wasn’t sure how we’d gotten ourselves in that fun game, but God it was good. Like a second chance, or a first chance, for that matter. I’d give her anything and I’d be damned to pass up the opportunity again.

She sat up, and I came with her.

“I suppose I’d aim to kiss you first.”

“Fire away.” She rose on her knees to catch my mouth with hers.

Accuracy would be a challenge. I wasn’t some boy who didn’t know what she liked, but I’d still enjoy the trip down Fantasy Lane.

Her tongue swept across mine, and the muscles in her back flexed and moved under my hands.

Then the moment took over.

Like I’d imagined in my wildest dreams, she lifted her arms, and I drug her shirt off and kissed her breasts as I unfastened her bra.

“I would have liked this,” she declared, lightly raking her nails over my scalp.

“I would have told you how beautiful you are and made sure you were ready.”

As she leaned back, my eyes met hers and I was reminded of where I was. I ripped my shirt over my head, balled it up, and tossed it at the wooden door. It nearly closed completely, but I didn’t hear it click. It was better than nothing.

In the pitch black it was easy to pretend it was real, and we were living out one of my dreams.

Hell, every dream I ever had.

“You’re beautiful,” I said and then flipped us over.

Her fingers tapped over my face. “You can’t even see me,” she gently argued.

“Oh, I see you. I’ve always seen you.”

She lifted her legs as I worked her underwear and shorts down her silky skin, kissing a trail from her ankle to her calf. I’d never felt flesh that smooth, that soft, as my hands and mouth wandered her body.

She moaned as my tongue occupied intimate places until I tasted her surrender on my lips. I removed my sweats with one hand before I made my way up the bed to a panting woman.

“I’m ready, Aaron.” Her legs wrapped around my hips. “I want you.”

Thank the Lord I wasn’t eighteen because those words would have undone me. Instead, they ignited me and I swept through her like a fire.