Chapter Seven
Lex paced back and forth, Megan knew, annoyed that Nina had agreed with her and had made him stay at home instead of picking her up from the airport. She watched him through the glass briefly before she headed inside.
She’d needed the time to compose herself after she’d pretty much cried and cried the whole flight back.
He met her at the top of the stairs, simply putting his arms around her tight and kissing the top of her head. All her composure fell away and the tears came back.
“I’m going to have to kill him, aren’t I?” His voice rumbled through his chest and into her body and she let it comfort her.
“You can kill him again after I do.” Nina hugged her from the other side and Gabby’s laugh sounded over the three of them as she darted into the room and launched herself toward them.
Megan extricated herself from Lex and Nina to fill her arms with her niece, who snuggled into her hold and covered her face with slightly sticky kisses.
“You’re home.” Gabby looked up at Megan through wise brown eyes and nodded once, as if that solved the problem.
“I am. I missed you, Gab.”
“I missed you too. Come on, The Little Mermaid is on and Mommy made fish sticks and macaroni and cheese for dinner.”
Of course to an outsider the conversation wouldn’t have been as clear but Megan had been around Gabriella Warden since her very first breath of air and she understood exactly what her niece had said.
“My favorite.”
She set Gabby down and allowed herself to be pulled into the family room.
“I’m glad you’re home.” Nina hugged her shoulders. “Will you stay over tonight and tell us the whole story?”
Megan nodded and allowed them to take care of her.
* * *
Shane paced the length of his bedroom and back. Over and over. She’d been gone three days and he felt it in every muscle. Her scent lay upon his sheets, in his bathroom, in wisps of air as he moved through what now felt like a big empty shell of a house.
He wanted to be angry at her. At times he managed it. Usually when he felt like death warmed over at her absence. He resented that physical connection to her as much as he craved feeding it.
At times he vacillated between wanting to call her and never speaking her name again. She hadn’t called and it pissed him off. Made him sulky and petulant. Not something he felt very often. Normally if he was this upset he’d call Sid and Layla but he got the feeling Lay would be ready to cut his heart out.
Work had filled his time but once he got home he found himself unable to sleep and so he paced and thought. Not always a good thing. He considered, for a brief moment, calling Cynthia. But in truth, he was married and he had no desire to break his bond with Megan, even as he struggled with his confusion over how to make things between them work.
Just a week before, his life had been relatively simple and now it just wasn’t.
A pounding on his front door roused him from his thoughts. He hurried to answer, thinking it might be Megan. Instead it was his father, standing next to Sid.
“You’re an idiot. Now let me in.”
His father pushed him aside and Sid followed, kicking the door closed.
“Well, hello to you too, Dad. Have a seat, why don’t you?” he said as the two men went into the living room and sat. “You want to tell me what this is about?”
His father’s eyes widened a moment and then narrowed. Shane couldn’t recall ever seeing him this emotional.
“You, boy, sit your ass down and listen up.” Those normally calm green eyes sparked dangerously and Shane found himself obeying just because he was fascinated at this side of his father.
“Sid.” Shane tipped his chin in greeting to his cousin. “I imagine this has something to do with Megan?”
His cousin just shook his head and leaned back.
“You know, it would be nice to get a call from my only child telling me when he mated! Such an important thing and I have to hear about it secondhand. Secondhand after you’ve apparently messed it up. I blame myself. I’ve made mistakes. Mistakes you should learn from right now before you throw away the best thing you’ll ever have.”
“I didn’t know how to tell you. Does Mom know?”
Sid, his normally very laid-back cousin leaned forward and nearly snarled at him, “I can’t believe you’re worried about that right now. Megan is back in Seattle and Layla is beside herself. The Wardens have drawn a tight circle around her right now and you are public enemy number one. The only thing keeping Lex Warden from showing up here and beating you senseless is Megan threatening to slice him into pieces if he so much as says boo to you. What is wrong with you? Shane, why did you claim her if you didn’t mean to keep your oath? You feel it don’t you? Don’t tell me you can’t feel her running through your veins, beating in your heart, the breath in your lungs. How can you think of throwing that away? And for what?”
“What your mother feels is beside the point.” His father shoved a hand through his hair. “You know she’s unhappy. It’s who she is and I’m sorry I let it go this far. I love her. She’s my mate and I did the best I could, or I thought I was doing the best I could.”
“Not that I’m not happy to see you and all, but this is not anyone’s business but mine and Megan’s. She wants me to give up everything I am to move up there. How fair is that? How much does she love me, huh? She wants to change me!”
Sid’s wolf bled into his voice. “Bullshit. You want her to stop being a werewolf and pretend to be human. You’re the one who wants to change her in a way that is simply impossible. She’s not asking you to not be a doctor. She’s not asking you to give up your life. She’s asking you to let her be what she is. And if you weren’t such a selfish asshole you’d see that what she is, is pretty damned important. She’s one of the most powerful werewolves in the country. Most of her family, one she’s close to, is in Seattle. You don’t visit your family, you don’t have many friends here. What are you giving up other than your fucking fantasy that you’re not a werewolf?”
Ouch. That one hurt. “Selfish? I ask her to wait, to give me some time, and I’m selfish? What the hell has she been saying about me?” Anger and hurt colored his feelings on the matter and he pushed up from the chair to pace.
“When I called her this morning she told me she loved you and respected your choices and not to come over here and interfere,” his father said quietly.
“Oh.” The anger he’d been clinging to slipped away. Yearning to hear her voice, to feel her skin against his replaced it with such depth he nearly gasped.
“When I claimed your mother I tried for years to get her to accept what I was. She wouldn’t. Eventually I gave in because I love her and I wanted her to be happy.”
“You did it for her. Is it too much to ask?”
His father hesitated and the emotion, the regret and pain in his voice sliced at Shane. “Yes. In retrospect, yes. I’ve lived a shadow of a life. I can count the number of times I’ve run in the last nearly forty years on two hands. I’ve raised my child without the touch of a Pack. When she punished you the first time you changed and I allowed it, when I helped you to keep it secret... I failed you. I’ve failed you and I am here because I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did. You are a werewolf. You have a mate. It’s the greatest gift you’ll ever be given until you have children. Do not throw it aside for foolish pride, for your fear of being what you are. You can be a doctor and a werewolf. Be her mate, son. Don’t throw this away.”
“I can’t be what you are. I can’t simply give up my life, give it over to her because she won’t compromise at all.”
Sid stood and looked him over, a sneer on his face. “You’re the one not compromising. Cling to your anger, Shane. I hope it keeps you warm at night. She has Adam up there you know. Her Anchor. If I wasn’t around and you saw Layla every day and she was hurting, how would you handle it? You can lose her. Don’t be stupid and throw her away like this. Adam knows what a catch she is and he’s bonded to her as well. Can you live with that? Just tossing her away like she’s nothing?” His cousin stormed from the house and his father stopped before him.
“I love you, Shane. You’re a good man. A good wolf. You can move up to Seattle and it won’t be you giving up everything for her. You know that in here—” his father tapped Shane’s chest “—and in here.” He tapped Shane’s temple. “Every couple has to compromise. Your job is portable, hers isn’t. If you truly let yourself feel what it is to be in a Pack, you’ll understand asking her to give it up is akin to asking her to cut off her arm. It’s part of her in a way you can’t begin to understand and for that I am so very sorry. But don’t let my mistakes compound yours. Go to her. Be her mate.” His father hugged him and then left him to his empty house once again.
He wandered back into his quiet living room and heaved himself onto the couch. He’d never meant to tell Layla and Sid about the first time he’d changed. It wasn’t even something he liked to remember but now he couldn’t forget it.
When wolves reached puberty and approached their first transformation, it was harder to control. His father had been helping him quietly, trying to keep it away from his mother who had been taking the changes in Shane very hard.
He’d changed and it had felt remarkable. Joyous. She’d been waiting as he came back into the yard, pulling his shirt on. She knew and she’d pulled him into the house, weeping and railing about how dangerous it was for him to change. How he had to resist the beast within him or risk losing his humanity.
It was a refrain he’d heard many times before but her hysteria, her anger this time had hit home with him. Had settled in his gut, shame, fear of harming her or making her embarrassed for him. He wanted to be the son who got good grades, who made her proud and that son was human.
She’d made him stay around the house for an entire month, giving him long lists of chores from morning until he’d dropped into bed, exhausted well after dark. No Pack had come to help him then. His father had said nothing and so Shane had simply left his wolf behind. Had only let him out when it was unavoidable.
Very few times in his life did he allow himself to celebrate that part of himself, let himself enjoy that tiny rebellion of simply being what his other half was. When he’d accepted Sid’s request to be his and Layla’s anchor bond and then when he’d scented and claimed Megan.
He sighed and rubbed his eyes, not sure if he could be sorry but not knowing if he could embrace what he’d been taught to hate either.
* * *
“Sid did what?” Megan massaged her temples, trying not to take her shitty mood out on her sister. Layla had been leaving messages for a few days and finally just barged into Lex and Nina’s, foisting herself on Megan like a limpet. She loved her big sister but Christ on a skateboard, Layla could be an annoying little bulldog sometimes.
“He called his uncle and then they both visited Shane at his place a few days ago. I wanted to go myself but Sid said it would be better if he went with Shane’s dad. I wanted to tell you right away but you’d have tried to stop it.”
“That’s because it’s none of your business!” She stood and grabbed her bag. “I spoke to his father a few days ago. He was very nice and all, but of course no one mentioned this little planned visit. And you? You’re such a hypocrite. You remember back when you mated with Sid? You ran! Did I run? No. I faced up to it. I asked him to give us a chance. I explained why his moving here was the best option.” She hesitated, feeling the now familiar tears but not wanting to shed one more. “I have to go. Adam is meeting me for dinner.”
“Don’t you care? Don’t you want to know what happened? What he said? Does it bother you at all?” Layla got in her face.
“What do you want from me? Because I’m not weeping and throwing myself on the ground, tearing at my hair, I’m unfeeling? Fuck you, Lay. Yes I care. I care so much it breaks me in two every morning when I open my eyes and he’s not here. But he isn’t. It’s his choice. He made the choice to claim me and then not live up to his duty to me. Just like I’m making the choice to live openly as what I am instead of playing human in the desert and cutting myself off from everything else but him. As for what happened.” She shrugged and looked around the room. “He’s not here. He hasn’t called. It’s been over a week. I can take an educated guess. It hurts that he’s not here but he isn’t. I can’t make it anything else. So I’ll live with the pain because there is nothing else to do.”
She stormed out and drove off, annoyed, frustrated and hurt. Over a week and not a damned word. Granted, she hadn’t called him either but at that point, she wasn’t sure what she could say. The ball was in his court.
She could beg. She would if she thought it would work. She wanted to be with him. Every time she closed her eyes she saw his face. When she got a quiet moment she heard his voice, felt the phantom touch of his lips on her neck.
But if she begged and even succeeded enough to bring him to her, what then? She had to know it was real and not guilt.
Her phone rang just as she arrived at Adam’s to pick him up for dinner.
“Megan?” Shane’s deep voice slid through her, filled her up in ways that made her achingly aware of how empty she’d been.
“Hi.” She sat back in her seat, closing the car door to cut the street noise.
“Can we talk? You know, like every day? I want to...can we try to get to know each other? I can’t take the time from work just now but say in two weeks I can come up to visit for a week or so. Would that work?”
She smiled, feeling just a tiny flame of hope kindle in her chest. “Yes. I’d like that a lot. I’ve missed you. Funny how you can miss someone you barely know.”
“Me too. I’ve missed you I mean. So, what are you doing right now? Wanna talk while I eat my dinner? We can share a meal.” He laughed and things knotted in her gut began to loosen.
“Let me call you back in ten minutes. I’m in my car but I’m only about five minutes away from home and I’ll eat my dinner too.” She’d beg off dinner with Adam, he’d understand.
“Do you have a webcam? Maybe we could use that and talk. I’d like to see your face.”
“Yeah, I do. I’ll call you back in a few and we’ll get it all set.” She hesitated. “Shane? I’m glad you called.”
“I’m glad I did too.”
When she hung up she jogged to Adam’s door. He opened as she approached and pulled her into a hug. His support had helped so much over the last week. He’d accepted whatever her mood had been. Had listened when she wanted to talk, had left her alone when she didn’t want to. He’d been more than a friend, he’d filled up at least a small part of the emptiness Shane’s absence had created and she’d forever love him for it.
“Hiya, gorgeous. Hungry?” He kissed the top of her head. Another thing was that he’d never been anything more than platonic. Nothing romantic or sexual, just comforting. She could let her guard down with him and he had no idea how much that meant.
“Hey. Listen, I have to bag dinner. I’m sorry. Shane called and he wants to talk. I want to do this. I want it to work.”
He tucked a curl behind her ear. “Of course you do, honey. Go on. We can see each other tomorrow or whenever. You know I’m here for you. I’m glad he’s coming to his senses. I knew he would.”
“That makes one of us.” She laughed as she waved and headed back to her car.
“Drive safely! You can’t talk to him at all if you get into an accident. Call me later to fill me in on what happens if you want, okay?”
She opened her door and turned back to him. “Thank you, Adam. So much.”