“You got this,” Kimi whispered as we stood in front of the doors to Twin Rivers High School. “The first day is going to be the hardest. It’s all downhill from here.”

I nodded and took a deep breath. She was right. I just had to make it through this first day, and then it would get easier.

Besides, I honestly didn’t think I could survive one more day at home with my mother.

“I should be the one giving you a pep talk,” I said as we walked into the school.

It was the beginning of her first year here, and the beginning of my last.

“Do you know where to go?” I asked.

She nodded. “We had orientation a couple of weeks ago,” she said. “I’m in Mr. Fratelli’s homeroom, so I better go this way. You’re the opposite, right?”

“Yep,” I said. “I’ll see you after school?”

“See you,” she said.

“Kimi,” I called after her.

She turned around, walking backwards and somehow managing not to slam into anyone. “What?”

“Have a great first day,” I said.

“You too,” she said with a wave.

Some of her friends stood waiting for her at the opening to the freshman corridor, and she ran to catch up with them, the group giggling and laughing as they disappeared around the corner.

My heart ached for a second as I missed my best friend, but I couldn’t stand around being sad about it for the rest of my life. I needed to find a way to move on.

I lifted my chin and decided I was going to make this a great day, no matter what.

And that’s when I saw him. The new guy I’d seen on picture day. His shoulder-length black hair was pulled back in a pony-tail today instead of a braid, but his dark eyes were just as piercing as before.

He was talking to one of the teachers, but his eyes were locked on me.

My mouth went dry as he lowered his chin in a subtle nod before looking away.

“Marayah, what’s up?” John said. He bumped my shoulder and smiled. “You missed a great party the other night. Asher Evans jumped off the balcony into the pool and nearly broke his arm on the concrete when he landed.”

“Sounds thrilling,” I said.

He laughed. “It was hilarious.”

Shaylene came over and pushed him. Her long blonde hair flowed in waves across her shoulders. “You giving our girl a hard time?” she asked. “I think we should at least let her ease back into things before we start harassing her.”

“I’m just trying to make small talk,” he said. He leaned back and looked me up and down. “What’s with the goth attire these days? Did you meet some stoners during your stint at Longview?”

My mouth opened in shock at his blatant reference to the rehab center.

Shaylene slapped his arm and gave him a dirty look, but John didn’t seem to notice.

“Seriously, though, I like it,” he said, giving me a wink. “Dark can be sexy.”

“Who’s sexy?” Lena asked, butting into the conversation with Troy in tow like a puppy on a leash. Her upper lip raised in a slight snarl as she looked at me, but she quickly turned it into her normal, fakey-fake smile.

I was worried she might break into her speech about how amazing it was that we were starting our last year when Nicole walked up and threw her arms around me.

“It’s so good to be able to walk in and see you here again,” she said. “Just like old times.”

I managed a smile, but I knew that it wouldn’t quite be like old times. Hailey was gone, Lena was with Troy, and I was so different I hardly recognized myself.

Nicole and I said goodbye to the others and started walking toward the homeroom we both shared at the end of the hallway.

“Are you feeling okay?” she asked. “I know this has to be tough for you.”

I sighed. I would not be down and depressed all day. I couldn’t live like this.

“I know you guys have all had a year to deal with the reality of what happened and with Hailey being gone, but this is my first day back. It just feels weird.”

I didn’t mention the fact that I was also still strangely unsettled by my nightmare last night. I shuddered now just thinking about it.

“It’s going to take time,” Nicole said. “Just don’t let it ruin your day, okay?”

“I’ll try not to,” I said.

We walked into Mrs. Hanahan’s classroom and found two seats near the back of the room. A few seconds later, the new guy walked in and glanced around.

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair, trying to not stare at him, but not really able to help myself. He barely glanced at the empty seat next to mine and must have thought better of it, ultimately choosing a seat closer to the front and on the other side of the room.

I exhaled, realizing I’d been holding my breath since he first walked in.

“Good morning, class, and welcome back,” Mrs. Hanahan said as she took her spot in the front of the room. “I hope you all had a restful summer and are ready to get back to work. The first round of SAT’s for the fall are only three weeks away, so those of you needing to get your test scores up will want to sign up and take advantage of this before your college applications go out.”

She continued, calling roll and talking about test schedules and sporting events until the bell rang and we all scattered to head to our first classes of the day.

Most of the morning passed by uneventfully. I got a few stares here and there, but for the most part, everyone was so wrapped up in their own lives that they hardly seemed to notice I was back.

At least until I got to calculus, my final class of the day.

I should have known everything had been too easy. I was running late after accidentally heading to the wrong classroom and just barely squeezed through the door of Mr. Foster’s classroom as the bell began to ring.

“You just made it, Miss Freeman,” he said. “Have a seat, please, and we’ll get started. Hopefully your semester of homeschooling didn’t put you too far behind, because we’re diving straight into our work this morning.”

A couple of guys near the back snickered as I walked past to find an empty desk.

“Yeah, how were the math classes at Longview?” one of them said. I didn’t have to look back to know it was Asher, the guy who’d nearly broken his arm diving into the pool. He was a loud-mouthed jock who found joy in torturing others. “If you have five pills and you take four of them, how many do you have left?”

I ignored him and sat down, but when I went to take out my pencil and binder, my bag fell open and a few things spilled onto the floor, including a bottle of pills Dr. Millner had given me for anxiety. Oh, the irony.

I groaned internally and scooped them up, hoping no one had seen.

“Wow, she’s already back on drugs, and she hasn’t even been back for a full day yet,” Asher mock-whispered.

A few of the guys around him laughed and joined in as soon as Mr. Foster’s back was turned.

“See how her hands are shaking? That’s what happens when you detox, or so I’ve heard,” another guy said.

“Yeah, I give her about two weeks before she’s back at Longview with the rest of the suicide squad and the druggies.”

I bit down on my tongue until I tasted blood. I refused to say anything that would let them know they were getting to me.

I zipped my bag up and placed my pencil on the desk. It was true that my hands were shaking, but not from any kind of withdrawals. I’d never done drugs in my whole life. I didn’t care what the toxicology reports said. I refused to believe it.

The girl sitting next to me, Amber, threw me an apologetic glance and then looked away.

Mr. Foster assigned textbooks to everyone and then asked us to turn to page fifty for our first lesson, but my concentration was already shot. Ten minutes into class, I was already praying for the bell to ring.

“Hey, Marayah,” Asher whispered when Mr. Foster turned his back to work out a formula on the whiteboard.

I tried to ignore him at first, but he kept calling my name. I finally turned slightly in my chair to face him. “What do you want, Asher?”

“Just wondering what really happened that night,” he said. He leaned forward across his desk. “Did you and Hailey really make some kind of suicide pact?”

I glared at him and then turned around.

“I’m just asking because I heard that there were no tire marks on the bridge at all,” he said. “She didn’t even slam on the brakes before you hit the railing, almost like she meant to go over.”

I kept my eyes forward, trying to ignore his question, but he apparently wasn’t going to let up.

“I mean, if Hailey wanted to kill herself, fine. But why take you with her unless you both wanted to go?” he asked. “I personally have a theory about this, but I wanted to hear it from you first.”

I twirled around in my seat. “Shut up, Asher. I mean it.”

He held his hands up in defense. “Gosh, I didn’t mean to inspire an outburst,” he said. “No need to get angry.”

“Is there a problem?” Mr. Foster asked.

“No problem on my end,” Asher said. “But I think Marayah here has some anger issues she still needs to work through with her therapist.”

That remark garnered a few cruel laughs from around the room, and no matter how hard I fought against them, tears pushed at the corners of my eyes.

“Miss Freeman, do you need to be excused?” Mr. Foster asked, his expression one of annoyance rather than concern.

“I’m fine,” I managed.

“Good, then may I please continue?” He turned to finish explaining his formula and for a few minutes, everyone was quiet.

But Asher just couldn’t let it go.

“See, my theory is this,” he whispered, just loud enough that the five or six people closest to us could hear. “I think you and Hailey were secretly in love with each other. We all saw the way you guys were practically attached at the hip.”

“Come on, man, give it a rest,” Eric Mayer said. He was sitting directly behind me, and I guess he’d had enough of Asher’s crap, too.

“No, I’m serious,” Asher said, no doubt enjoying the attention he was getting for making fun of my tragic life. “I think what really happened that night was some kind of lesbian suicide pact. If we can’t be together, we don’t want to live at all kind of thing. Only, Marayah here didn’t die. I bet it was a real bummer waking up from the coma to find out you were still alive.”

Tears of anger and humiliation rolled down my cheeks.

“That’s enough, man, seriously,” Eric said.

“What? Did I make her cry?” Asher said, laughing.

I swiped at my tears and stood, stumbling over my backpack on the floor. That only seemed to make their laughter roar louder, the jerks.

I grabbed my book and my bag and ran from the room, unable to take it anymore. Mr. Foster called my name, but I didn’t dare turn back. I was sure that if I looked behind me, I would see the dark shadow of a snake slithering across the floor.

I wanted to scream until it hurt. I wanted to rip every door off every locker and tear this school apart.

What kind of asshole said things like that?

I’d always known Asher was a jerk, but I’d never realized just how much his words could hurt, because they’d never been directed at me like that.

I found my way to my locker and ran through my combination three times, but it wouldn’t open. Anger rose within me, boiling over. I wanted to slam my fist into the metal until it bled. I wanted to take the lock in my hand and crush it in my fist.

“Open, dammit,” I said.

But as I reached for the lock, a dark shadow wrapped around it like a cord and the dial began to spin, faster and faster. I swallowed, my throat dry and my heart racing.

I dropped my bag to the floor and pressed my hands to the side of my temples. “Stop,” I shouted.

The dial stopped turning at my command and the lock clicked open, the sound echoing through the empty halls.

What the hell?

I looked around, almost hoping someone else had seen that. Was that real? Or was I truly losing my mind.

With trembling hands, I opened my locker and slid my Calculus book inside. The stack of books and notebooks shifted suddenly and half the contents of my locker fell onto the floor at my feet.

Frustrated, I squatted down to gather up the mess.

That’s when I spotted the small teal notebook Hailey and I had used for passing notes to each other between classes.

I’d forgotten about it, but just seeing it again made me miss her all over again.

We’d gotten in trouble so many times for passing notes, we finally decided to start passing an entire notebook. If teachers asked, we were sharing homework assignments or returning something that belonged to a friend.

We’d spent an afternoon before freshman year started, giggling on my bed, decorating the entire back and cover of the notebook with stick figures and washi tape. With trembling hands, I opened the spiral notebook and looked through the first few pages of notes.

It was nothing that memorable or insightful. It was just a bunch of simple notes passed back and forth about what we’d overheard in the bathroom or the irony of Mrs. Baker wearing a scarf covered in tiny pictures of donuts.

Even though these notes didn’t say all that much, they were priceless to me. They were her words, and she would never have words again.

After thumbing through a few pages, I finally stood and started putting things back into my locker. The bell would ring any minute, and I couldn’t be sitting out here on the floor like a lunatic. That would only give jerks like Asher more reason to laugh at me.

I started to put the teal notebook in my backpack, but as I gripped the spine of it, a single piece of paper fluttered to the floor.

I bent over to pick it up, confused. We never slipped loose sheets inside, but the moment I saw the symbol sketched on the outside, my heart skipped a beat.

Three concentric circles with three triangles drawn inside.

It was the same exact symbol I had drawn in my notebook last night while I was dreaming.

I carefully unfolded the paper and stared at my dead friend’s handwriting. As I read it, I knew the words on this page would change the direction of my life forever.

Rayah, I wish I had more time to explain, but the clock is ticking, and I’m not sure how much longer I can fight against this darkness. Every second, I feel it watching me.

Waiting for me.

Sometimes, I barely feel like myself anymore, and it’s getting harder to resist.

I’m so scared, and I wish I could talk to you about this, but I don’t want it to hurt you, too. I don’t want to drag you into this mess, but I don’t know what else to do.

Just know that whatever it is, however it happens, if I’m dead—

It wasn’t an accident.