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Deep Dark Secrets (The Spiritwalkers Book 1) by Sarra Cannon (43)

It’s Already Changed Me

It took us nearly thirty minutes to get from the mountain road near the cave to Lena’s house in town. I nearly chewed a fingernail off on the way over there.

It made sense that Lena was the one who had been running with Hailey that day. They had often gone out on the tougher trails to train. Lena was also at the party that night, watching us. She was probably happy to see me get in the car with Hailey, because that way she could get rid of both of us at the same time.

She wanted Hailey’s side of the power, and she wanted my boyfriend.

The only mistake she made was not making sure I was dead. The Sister’s power must have somehow been transferred to me instead of Lena.

“Which house?” Jordan asked as he pulled into her neighborhood.

I pointed to the white brick house with the red door and black shutters. “That one,” I said. “Number 1802.”

“Should I pull into the driveway?” he asked. “What if someone sees us?”

“I know the neighbors,” I said. “I’ll just tell them Lena asked me to pick up the mail while they were away or something. Pull in, and I’ll grab the extra key from the back.”

Back before the accident, when my world was much simpler, Lena and I had been good friends. Most of the kids in my class had been there since Kindergarten, and we’d all grown up together.

I must have been over at Lena’s house two dozen times over the years for sleepovers and birthday parties, and I knew exactly where they kept their spare key.

The wooden fence surrounding the backyard was locked when I tried it, so I motioned for Jordan to follow me.

“Give me a boost,” I said.

He folded his hands together and crouched low as I used his hands as a step-ladder. He pushed me up, and I threw one leg over the top of the fence and climbed over to the other side.

The afternoon sun beat down on me as I ran to the red clay pot next to the steps behind the house. The small silver key was exactly where it had always been.

I unlocked the back door, praying they hadn’t installed a new alarm system or anything since I’d been gone, but nothing beeped when I entered. That was one of the perks of small-town living. Everyone trusted each other.

I wondered if Lena’s parents had any idea what kind of person they were living with now. I had only been around her a few times over the past couple weeks, but she had definitely changed. She was more bitter and possessive, lashing out every chance she got. She never used to be like that.

The Lena I knew was always sweet and kind. The Sister’s power must have changed her when it took control, and I shivered as I glanced at a family photo from when she was a little girl. I didn’t want to be like that. What kind of person could murder one of their best friends?

I went around to the garage door and opened it for Jordan.

“Come on,” I said. “Hurry.”

He glanced around, then followed me back inside the house.

“What are we doing here?” he asked. “If she’s not even home, what are we hoping to find?”

I led him through the living room and into the back hallway towards Lena’s bedroom.

“Proof,” I said. “If Hailey and I both started drawing those strange symbols after we were infected with part of the Sister’s spirit, then Lena must be drawing them, too. There have to be some in her bedroom. Once we find them, we’ll know for certain that it’s her.”

“And then what?” he asked. “We don’t even know how to get rid of the power.”

I didn’t want to think about that.

Even if Lena had given up control of her body and mind to the Sister, that didn’t mean the real Lena I used to know and love wasn’t still in there somewhere. I couldn’t kill her. I wouldn’t. But maybe if we knew for sure that it was her, we could help her fight it somehow.

I just hoped it wasn’t too late.

I opened the door to her bedroom and flipped on the light. Even her room had changed from the last time I was here.

She used to have light pink walls and a huge white canopy bed with stuffed animals all over the place, but she had painted the walls grey and covered them with posters and concert tickets. There was no sign of her old stuffed animals, and her white furniture had been traded in for dark mahogany.

“Search the closet,” I said. “I’m going to look through her notebooks.”

A black leather notebook sat on top of her dresser, but when I opened it and realized it was her private journal, I closed it again. I wanted proof that she’d been possessed by the Sister, but looking through her most private thoughts felt wrong.

Instead, I noticed her backpack on the floor near the bed and started going through it. I searched every text book and every notebook, but there were no signs of the strange drawings.

Jordan stepped out of the closet a few minutes later and shook his head.

“Nothing?” I asked.

“No,” he said. “Just a lot of clothes and shoes and purses. Why do girls need so many shoes?”

“That’s not a question I’m going to justify with an answer,” I said. “There has to be something here. Keep looking.”

I peeled back the corners of some of her posters but found nothing hidden behind them. We searched under the mattress, in her drawers, in the bathroom, but we couldn’t find any strange drawings.

And I was running out of time.

The longer we looked, the more anxious and frustrated I became. I knew Lena was the one, but where was the proof?

After more than half an hour of searching her room, I glanced at my phone and cursed.

“I have to go,” I said, taking a second to look around the room and make sure we had left everything just as we’d found it.

Jordan turned to me. “What? Now?” he asked. “We need to figure this out, and we need to get the pieces of this idol to Maria.”

“I know,” I said, glancing again at the clock on my phone. “But Nicole made me promise to show up to work on this project today. I’ve put her off three times already and it’s due Monday. In the off-chance I happen to survive this whole mess, I would like to actually go to college next year. I have to get this done. Besides, if I don’t show, she might tell my parents the truth.”

He ran a hand through his loose black hair. “I can’t believe you’re concerned about some girl and a group project for school when we’ve just found out that someone else was definitely involved in all of this. You’re in danger, Marayah. This isn’t something to mess around with.”

My jaw clenched tight. I didn’t want to get angry with him, but the stress of the afternoon was weighing on me. I was angry and frustrated. The darkness was growing inside me, and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to resist it again.

I needed a break from this for a while.

Besides, I was already on the thinnest of ice with my parents. An F on the first major project of my senior year would send them over the edge.

“Look,” he said. “If we don’t figure out who this second set of footprints belongs to, they are going to come after you when you least expect it.”

“What you don’t seem to understand is that I had a life before all of this,” I said, unable to hold it in any longer. “You show up in Twin Rivers out of the blue and turn my whole life upside down, and I’ve done everything I can think of to be right there by your side trying to figure this out, but I still need to live my life. I still need to have something that feels normal in my life. I’m asking for a few hours to go do that so that if I do happen to have a future once this whole thing is over, it isn’t completely screwed.”

I turned and started to walk away, but a row of pictures on Lena’s dresser caught my eye. There were several of her and Troy together, but the one that stood out to me was a picture of the track team.

I picked it up and studied it. This had to have been taken last summer sometime, when Hailey was still alive. Coach Silver had her arm around Hailey’s shoulders, and Hailey held up a trophy. Lena, Nicole, and several other members of the track team gathered around them.

They were all smiling and happy, but something dark twisted inside me.

Coach Silver had gone running with Hailey last summer, too. Hadn’t Nicole told me that?

My skin grew cold, and I pushed against the darkness that wanted to find its way to the surface. I couldn’t think about it right now. I could ask Nicole about it when I got to her house, but I was done exploring for the day.

I needed a break, from all of it.

I set the picture back down and stormed away, pushing my legs as fast and far as they would go without running. Jordan followed and grabbed my arm. He flipped me around to face him.

“Why are you acting like this all of a sudden?” he asked. “You can’t let this darkness change you, Marayah. You have to fight against it.”

My cheeks warmed from both anger and embarrassment.

“It’s already changed me,” I said. I pulled away from him and walked out the garage door.

“Marayah, wait,” he called, following me. “I don’t want you to go. Come with me to see the medicine woman. I know you’re struggling to resist this thing inside you. Maybe she can help more once she gets the pieces of the idol. Maybe she can tell for sure if Lena is the one.”

I shook my head. “The medicine woman can’t help me,” I said. “She told us that much last night. There’s no way to get rid of this darkness without killing me, and I have no idea how I’m supposed to live with it, either.”

I waited for him to say something. Anything. But he just stood there. I shook my head and shrugged, tears hot against my eyelids.

“I have to go,” I said. I handed him the spare key. “Lock the place up and go home or go back to visit the medicine woman, I don’t care.”

I got in my car and drove away, leaving Jordan standing there alone in the driveway.

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