About a block away from Hailey’s house, I had to pull over on the side of the road. My hands were still shaking, and I could hardly catch my breath.

I felt terrible for just running out on Mrs. Feldman like that, but I couldn’t be in that house any longer. There might as well have been a den of poisonous snakes in that closet.

No, what was actually there was much more terrifying, because it proved that whatever had happened to Hailey went much deeper than just some drunken accident or even a murder.

I couldn’t even begin to explain what I’d just seen or what it meant. It was like something out of a horror movie.

Was I going to wake up one day with an entire closet full of those drawings, too?

I tried to breathe. I just needed to calm down enough to get myself home before my mother showed up and wondered why I’d broken her rule about being out alone with the car.

I took several deep breaths until my hands were no longer shaking uncontrollably and finally drove the mile back to my house. Kimi was in the kitchen eating a peanut butter and banana sandwich.

“There you are,” she said with her mouth full. “Mom’s going to be home any minute. Where were you?”

“I went to see Hailey’s mom.” I dropped my backpack on the floor next to the island and leaned against it, unsteady on my legs.

Kimi frowned and set her sandwich down on the plate. “Why didn’t you tell me that’s where you were going?”

She came over and wrapped her arms around me. My sister was several inches shorter than I was, petite like our mother, and I rested my chin on the top of her head.

“That rough, huh?”

I closed my eyes and nodded. She had no idea.

I thought about telling her everything that had happened and showing her the drawings, but I couldn’t do that to her. I didn’t want her mixed up in this.

Besides, I was scared that if I started telling people about notes from beyond the grave and strange symbols and drawings in the back of a dark closet, they would lock me back up at Longview and never let me out.

And maybe I did belong there, after all?

Was it possible this was all some elaborate hallucination on my part?

That might be easier than the truth, but I knew that those drawings were real.

“She isn’t doing so well,” I said, instead, keeping the rest of it inside. This was my secret now.

“I can kind of imagine what she’s been going through,” Kimi said.

“What do you mean?”

She shrugged and went back to her sandwich. “It was really tough around here for a long time before you woke up,” she said. “We didn’t know from day-to-day if you were going to ever come back to us. There were a few times the hospital called to say we needed to get over there, because they weren’t sure you were going to make it through the night.”

I sat up. “What? No one told me that.”

“It happened twice, I think,” she said. “Maybe three times. I can’t remember now. Those weeks kind of all blur together now.”

“What happened?” I asked. I’d never realized I’d been close to death during those months. I thought I was just sleeping peacefully.

“Your heart stopped beating,” she said. “Like, out of the blue, you had a couple episodes where you totally flatlined.”

She paused, chewing on her lip.

“What?” I asked, not sure I could handle this news on top of everything else.

“Maybe I’m not supposed to be telling you all this,” she said. “I just assumed you already knew.”

I shook my head. “No one ever tells me anything,” I said. “You would think I have a right to know what happened to me, but nobody wants to talk about it. It’s like they’re afraid that if they talk about it, I’ll just keel over and die or that I won’t be able to handle it. But I can. I deserve to know the truth.”

“It was pretty scary,” she said, her eyes welling up with tears. “Seeing you lying there like that, attached to all those monitors with your head bandaged up. For a long time, I had trouble sleeping at night, because I was scared they’d get a call and not want to wake me up to take me to the hospital to see you one last time.”

I moved around the corner of the island and pulled my little sister into my arms again. She leaned her head against my shoulder, fresh tears falling against my skin.

“I’m so sorry,” I said.

“It wasn’t your fault,” she said.

“That’s not what everyone else thinks, though, is it?” I asked.

“It doesn’t matter now, anyway,” she said, pulling away. “Who cares what they think? What matters is that you’re here now.”

I wanted to agree with her. I wanted to be grateful for my life and leave the past behind. Get back to normal and forget about trying to figure out what really happened.

But I was beyond that now. Something horrible was happening, and I had to figure it out before it took my life next.

Outside, Mom’s car pulled into the driveway.

Kimi and I dried our tears and pretended to act normal when she came inside. But deep inside, I knew that normal was something I would never be again.