For the next two days, Sophie continued as best she could, even though her nerves were so fraught that she could hardly do the equations she had once found so simple. To her very great relief, she did not see Lord Harrington, nor Lord Haversham, and certainly not her cousin. At times, when she had been walking to the study, she had heard them talking and laughing together and she had practically flown down the corridor to avoid them.

Constantly, she was on her guard, fretting that she would be found at any moment. There was no opportunity for her to speak to Lord Harrington, although she was glad to hear, at least, that he was continuing to oversee the improvements to his tenant's homes. He had not allowed his friends’ presence to push him from his tasks, even though he worked late and she early. In a way, Sophie felt quite proud of him for sticking to his intentions, even though his friends certainly would be tempting him to do otherwise.

She also realized, with a sigh, that she missed him. She missed his teasing words, his wide smile, the spicy masculine smell of him working closely beside her, and the optimism he exuded about the world in general, with the exception of his own character.

She let herself into the study, seating herself at the desk where she had become quite comfortable over the past week. She had always been studious, and she enjoyed putting her intellect to good use, to helping with matters of some importance.

She jumped when the door clicked open, and she whirled around to see who had entered, sighing when she saw it was Lord Harrington. She gave him a small smile as he made his way over to her.

“Busy working?” he asked, coming to stand beside her, his fingertips resting lightly on her shoulder, causing all of her senses to all leap to awareness.

“I am,” she said, forcing herself to concentrate on his words. “I enjoy the work, to be honest. Thank you for all you have done for me.”

He looked at her quizzically, his brows drawing together. “What do you mean?”

“For taking me in, and for allowing me to do this type of work,” she said, before taking a deep breath. Now was the time to tell him to truth, to lay bare the who she was, the past, and the reason she was here.

“Lord --”

“Come,” he interrupted, pulling her to her feet. “I must apologize for my lack of attentions and presence the past few days. With my friends’ visit, I have been remiss.”

“Not at all, my lord,” she said, flustered at the close proximity of his hard chest at her nose. “There is nothing to apologize for. In fact, I should like to --”

He cut off her protests with a searing kiss, sending jolts of heat through her body as his mouth slanted over hers, his tongue stroking hers in a love play that made her weak. She melted into him, revelling in the warmth of his hard body. She didn’t want to give this up -- give him up. He nibbled at her lip as he released her, before beginning to trail kisses down her neck.

“I’m happy to provide some distraction,” he murmured, making her flush with delight. “I believe it’s my turn to teach you something. I am sure, with practice, you shall become as proficient as you are at your books.”

Sophie let her fingers pull him towards her as she rested her forehead against his. “I am quite happy to continue with the accounts, Lord Harrington, I assure you. Besides, there is a matter I wanted to discuss with you.” She let her hands drop and carefully sat back down, seeing the slight frustration in his eyes.

“Ah, regarding the issue with the accounts,” he said, shaking his head at her with a smile. “You are quite determined.”

“Yes,” Sophie said hesitatingly. “There is that.”

His grin softened. “Do you think it ridiculous that I cannot do this myself -- that I find such a simple thing so difficult?”

Sophie placed her hand on his, looking up at him earnestly. “No, not in the least.”

Benjamin seemed to relax before her very eyes. “You are too good for me, Sarah.” He held her gaze for a moment before clearing his throat. “Now, what do you say to a stroll in the garden?” He held up his hand when she began to protest. While her cousin was not likely to enter the study, there was a much greater chance she could encounter him in the garden. “I have a lovely little arbor where we might sit for awhile and discuss all you would like to tell me.”

The smile on his face was so endearing that Sophie knew she could not refuse without providing him proper explanation.

“Do you not think the rest of the household will find it strange for you to enter the arbor with a maid?” she asked.

“We shall be discreet,” he said, which dampened her fears of running into Lord Dunstable. “Come, I know a way through the back of the gardens where no one will notice us.”

“All right,” she finally agreed, getting to her feet. “It sounds lovely, then.”

“The French doors in the ballroom lead into a very pretty little patch and I am quite sure you will enjoy it.”

“I should enjoy anytime in your company, Lord Harrington,” Sophie murmured, as they walked to the door. “As much as I know I should not.”

His eyes looked contemplative as he took in her words. “Do not concern yourself with that. Enjoy yourself for a few moments.”

* * *

Sophie felt a sense of peace as she leaned against the small wooden bench in the garden, taking in all the sights and sounds that surrounded her. While it could use more greenery, there were beautiful flowers, wonderful scents and birds of all kinds singing all around. It was like a little piece of heaven, made better by the proximity of the man with her.

Lord Harrington didn’t sit next to her, but rather paced in front of her, seemingly unaffected by the gardens around him.

“Lord Harrington,” Sophie began.

“Benjamin.”

She looked up at him. “Pardon me?”

“I feel as though you should call me Benjamin. Lord Harrington sounds too formal coming from your lips.”

She inclined her head. “Very well. Benjamin.”

“Sarah,” he stopped his pacing as he turned to face her, calling to her before she could begin. “I know you wanted to speak with me about the accounts, but for the moment I cannot truly concentrate on them. I must say something to you first.”

She hoped he wasn’t apologizing again. She didn’t think she could take that anymore.

“I’ve told you that I am not a good man,” he said, holding up a hand as she made to tell him otherwise. “Or if I am, as you seem to believe, then I have certainly done things contrary to that opinion. My father sent me here to this estate to learn responsibility, and also to take me far from London. My eyes were opened to the error of my ways before I left, but old habits are difficult to break. When I first saw you, I must admit that I instantly desired you -- I hope that does not shock you. But I vowed to myself and to my father that I would not touch any of the staff.

“Then I came to know you. You, Sarah, are so good, so kind, so trustworthy. When I am around you,I want to be a better man. I do not care so much for the activities and the people I once seemed to hold so dear. I know what you will say. That you are a maid, not good enough for me. However it is quite the opposite. It is you that are too good for me. You see the very best in others, you are patient, you are understanding. And yet when I consider the time we have spent together I realize I have been as selfish as I always am. I have told you everything about me, but have asked nothing of you. I know only that your parents have passed and you have no siblings, but nothing further.”

He walked to her, taking her hands in his.

“I want to know more, Sarah,” he tilted her head up towards him.

She didn’t want to ruin this moment, but what could she tell him? She turned to him, and looked up into his eyes, which burned with desire as he trailed a finger down her neck to her collarbone. “You’re intelligent, I know that. But what else is there to you? What do you enjoy? What were you like as a child? What do you want of your life?”

She blinked. These were certainly not questions to ask a maid, but then, whatever was to become of them, they were far past the typical relationship between a maid and the lord of a manor.

“To answer your questions,” she said slowly, “I enjoy reading. I love to lose myself in the stories of others. My -- at one of my postings I was able to read from the massive library and it brought me much joy.”

“My library is open to you, I hope you know that.”

“Thank you, my lord.”

“Benjamin.”

“Thank you Benjamin. As a child, I was fairly quiet. I didn’t get into much trouble, but I did love to hide myself away in pantries or a cabinets, and stay there for hours. My parents would look for me everywhere, and would finally find me engrossed in a novel.”

She smiled in remembrance.

“And what do you want?”

She looked down at her hands. She had never truly thought much beyond escaping Malcolm.

“I suppose…” she started slowly, “I want a life of freedom, of purpose, of happiness. I want companionship. And love, if it’s possible.”

He nodded slowly, his gaze locking on hers.

“Benjamin --”

“Harrington!”

The voice, all too familiar and inciting of her nightmares, cut through the gardens. “Harrington, where have you buggered off to?”

“My apologies,” Lord Harrington said remorsefully to Sophie. “It seems Lord Dunstable is looking for me. I shall be but one moment.”

He rose to greet his friend, slipping out of the arbor. Sophie, however, was taking no chances. The moment he was out of sight, she slipped out the other side and back to the relative safety of the house.