“Good morning, my lord!”

Benjamin groaned and flung one hand over his face, only for a shirt button to catch him in the corner of the eye. Letting out a yelp of surprise, he blinked wildly and looked about him, surprised to discover that he was in the library.

“I see you discovered more brandy, after all,” the butler commented, clicking his fingers to a maid, who brought in a tray stocked with coffee, toast, and pastries. “I was told all rooms required refilling. I am sorry you felt it lacking. I shall make sure all the decanters are prepared for this evening.”

“Thank you,” Benjamin rasped, feeling as though he’d swallowed a mouthful of gravel. He tried to sit up, mortified to discover that he had fallen asleep on the chaise lounge, one of his legs dangling off the side. His head began to ache as he came into a sitting position, and he wondered if the smell of alcohol was simply from the room or from his person.

“A bath, I think,” he muttered, as the butler poured the coffee. “What time is it?”

“Past midday,” the butler replied, in a slightly cheerful tone. “The bath is being prepared as we speak.”

Benjamin wanted to comment mockingly on the butler’s cheerfulness and efficiency, only to stop himself just in time. The man was doing his job and doing it well, and he had no reason to poke fun at him, just because he had something of a sore head.

“Thank you,” he muttered, after a moment. “I shall be up presently.”

The butler nodded and began to leave the room, only for a sudden thought to hit Benjamin. “I am expecting my guests tomorrow afternoon, I believe,” he said, making the butler pause. “Is everything prepared?”

“It is indeed,” the butler replied. “We have the blue room and purple room ready for your guests.”

“Good,” Benjamin said, quietly. “Make sure everything is arranged. I want a marvelous dinner prepared for their arrival tomorrow.” Remembering that Sarah was due to continue her work in his study, he waved one arm. “Oh, and tell Sarah to continue with the accounts today. She should know what to do.”

There was a momentary pause before the butler clicked his heels together, bowed, and excused himself. Benjamin chewed slowly on a piece of hot buttered toast, already beginning to feel a little better. Taking another sip of his coffee, he frowned as he looked around the room, wondering what on earth he’d done last evening.

He could remember feeling utterly miserable and dejected, missing his friends and pastimes in London, and so had – foolishly or otherwise – begun to lose himself in liquor. Unfortunately, his brandy had been in short supply in the study and so … what had he done then?

His brow furrowed. He could not remember for the life of him, although he was quite sure that he had managed to make his way below stairs for whatever reason. Swallowing his toast, he made to pick up another piece, only for ice to suddenly fill his veins, freezing him in place.

Sarah.

Sarah had been there.

A groan escaped his lips as he put his head in his hands, his toast and coffee immediately forgotten. What had he done?

His fingers touched a spot on his cheek, feeling a small bruise beneath his fingers. The sudden memory of Sarah slapping him, hard, came straight into his mind, and he groaned aloud again.

Everything came back at once, hazy but clear. He had tried to kiss Sarah. A member of his household staff, who had been doing nothing more than what was expected of her He had tried to press his attentions on her, as, of course, many masters did. However, he had promised himself he would not be that kind of man, despite the recent lack of company in his bed.

The truth was, he was desperately attracted to Sarah, perhaps all the more because he wouldn’t allow himself to have her. Although he felt it was much more than that. She had a great number of feminine qualities, and her gracefulness and gentleness made him think of her as a lady, even though he knew she could never be such a thing. She was unlike any servant he had come across before, particularly given her skills in arithmetic. Her elegant handwriting flowed, and her careful manner in all things lifted her high in his estimation. Why, then, had he done something as foolish as attempt to kiss her?

Then again, she was a servant and that meant that she should not have struck him. To do so would mean instant dismissal, but Benjamin could not bring himself to send her away without a reference. That would be cruelty in itself, for it was not her fault that he had behaved in such a way. Was she simply to accept his attentions, no matter how unwanted, in order to keep her position?

A great many gentlemen would say so, said the small voice in the back of his mind.

“No!” Benjamin exclaimed aloud, thumping his fist on the table. “I am not going to be that kind of master!”

It was not only his father’s edict that hung over his head, Benjamin realized, but rather a slow-growing desire to be known as a gentleman that did right by his staff. He did not want to become a hard-hearted, cruel tyrant, but rather a careful, considerate master. It would make his father proud, yes, but Benjamin wanted to be that kind of gentleman for himself, rather than for his father.

Besides that, Sarah had left her previous employment because of such a man. He vowed to be better than that.

Pushing himself up from the chair, Benjamin swayed for a moment, lights going off in his head. His head began to pound once more, but Benjamin gritted his teeth and continued towards the door regardless. Now was not the time to indulge himself and his own pain. He would have to find Sarah and speak to her privately. Goodness knows what was going through her head. She was probably terrified that he was about to throw her from his house, given that she had struck him. He wanted to ease that at once.

Hoping that he did not look too disheveled, Benjamin made his way back towards the study, hoping that Sarah was there already as the butler should have instructed. Pushing open the door, he saw that she was already sitting at her small writing desk in the corner, her face pale as it lifted to his the moment he stepped inside.

“Oh, my lord,” she breathed, her face almost milk white as she rose. He saw that her hands were trembling as she intertwined her fingers, her mouth a worried line. “Good morning.”

“Good morning, Sarah,” he grunted, wondering how to explain himself to someone who was, in fact, a servant in his household. “Thank you for being so diligent in your work.”

She glanced up at him, fear in her eyes. “My lord, I must apologize for – ”

“You will apologize for nothing,” he said, firmly, seeing her mouth fall open in surprise. “I have only just recalled how I have behaved and I must confess that I am ashamed of it.”

He watched her closely, seeing her blink furiously as her cheeks suddenly burned with heat. There were deep circles under her eyes, smudges of blue and grey that told him she had not slept well. Had she been worried that he would send her from the house? It was evident that she had not been expecting him to speak to her in such a way, but had rather been waiting for him to rail at her or give her notice.

“You were very good to me, were you not?” he continued, ignoring the spiraling heat in his core that spread up into his chest as he recalled just how close her mouth had been to his. “You brought me back up the stairs and into the library. I do not know why I was below but I – ”

“You were in search of brandy, my lord.”

Shame filled him. “I see,” he said, thickly. “Well, I thank you for your help.”

“I should not have struck you as I did,” Sarah said after a moment, her voice breathless. “I … I simply reacted. I did not know what else to do.”

Benjamin closed his eyes for a moment, seeing just how badly his actions had affected her. “I was wrong to do what I did,” he said, quietly. “I am aware that many gentlemen treat their staff in whatever way they wish, but I will not be that way. My father expects it and I find that I am beginning to expect it of myself.”

“Your father?” she echoed, a curious look on her face as she stood and stepped closer to him. “Why --” Remembering herself and her position, she covered her mouth with her hand, looking quite horrified. “Oh, my lord, I do beg your pardon,” she exclaimed, her cheeks growing quite a becoming pink. “You just looked quite grave and I wanted to ease your –- ”

“Have no fear,” he muttered, surprised to discover that he wanted to share all with her. “I can see that you are settled and so I shall leave you to your work.”

She smiled, albeit something of a watery one, relief filling her expression. “You are very good, my lord,” she said, softly. “I thank you for your kindness.”

Benjamin did not know what to say, wanting to repeat the very same sentiments back to her. Oh, how much she had put up with from him. He was caught for a moment by her loveliness, thinking just how kind her expression was. It was as if she saw him for what he truly was, and had simply forgiven him for his actions towards her.

“I shall leave you now,” he muttered, stepping away towards the door. He glanced back at her, seeing her dark head already bent over her work. His heart settled within him as he took a breath, settled his shoulders and left the study. He was more than ready for his bath.