CHAPTER SIX
Reagan
Nate had given me the night off. It being Thursday, Nan was out at bingo. I decided to spend the evening on the couch. I flipped through the channels, never stopping long enough on one thing to get involved. My mind kept going back to Nate. I was curious why he was leaving and where he was going. Would there be girls there? Would he be having sex with them? I told myself it didn’t matter. One, we were not involved in any sort of way. Two, I didn’t want to be.
Well, okay, that might have been a small lie. I may have spent way too much time thinking about what it would be like to have something more with Nate. But I couldn’t actually go there. It was the last thing either of us needed. I hoped the distance apart would give me time to clear my head.
The next day I heard him take off on his bike a little after three in the afternoon. I pinned myself to the couch so that I wouldn’t go running to the window to watch him drive away. Disappointment filled me that he didn’t even say bye. It was silly. He was only going to be gone a few days. And it wasn’t like we were even friends.
Boredom had me heading to the bar an hour earlier than my shift. I was working with Chris that night. I had yet to meet him and I was hoping that he would be friendlier than Nate. I smiled at the possibility of having someone to talk to.
I stepped outside and started walking to my car. I paused at the driver’s side door, remembering that Nate demanded I take his truck while he was gone. I cocked my head and looked across the yard to Nate’s driveway. The damn thing looked way too big for me to feel comfortable in. No, I told myself. I wasn’t going to let some man tell me what to do. Sure, it may have been out of concern, but my car had gotten me to and from a lot of places. I was sure it wasn’t going to fail me now. Except for the air conditioning, but that didn’t have anything to do with how it ran. With my shoulders thrown back in a silent defiance, I climbed into my car.
I walked in the door of the bar a little after five. Of course, the place was dead, as in not a soul for a customer. I looked behind the bar to see a tall and lean guy not much older than me. He had shorter hair, parted on the side and styled up a little on the fuller side. It was a nice honey brown color. He looked over at me and smiled. His face was definitely not bad to look at. Small but strong nose. Beautiful full bottom lip. Thick brows over eyes that matched his hair. His face looked baby smooth.
“Reagan?” he asked like he already knew the answer.
“Hi, yes. You must be Chris.” I shuffled around the bar and set my phone on a shelf under the bar top.
“That’d be me,” he replied with a wink.
“Glad to see you’re feeling better.” He raised an eyebrow in question. “Nate mentioned that you were sick or something.” An odd smile crossed his face and he leaned against the bar, arms folded, taking me in.
“Yes, much better. Thanks.” He chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment. “He lets you call him Nate?”
“Well, not so much lets me as I just kinda started doing it.” I huffed out a short laugh.
“I tried that once, got a death glare. Never did it again.” He shrugged. I smiled as I remembered the warm look that came over Nate’s face the first time I had called him that. I shook off the memory. I noticed Chris was wearing skinny jeans and a button up short sleeve shirt. The shirt was hanging open and underneath was a vintage looking tee, form-fitting of course.
“You’re not one of them, are you?” I asked, trying to figure out the connection between him and Nate.
“Nope. I’m just a regular ole townie.” He smiled at me, a warm friendly smile. I knew right then we were going to hit it off. “It won’t be too busy tonight. With half of the guys out of town, most of the rest will probably make it a quiet night. Since it’s the kickoff to the weekend, might have a few townies in here.”
“Cool,” I replied.
“So, tell me all about yourself. Don’t get many new faces around here. I want to know everything.” He hopped up on the bar top. I let out a little laugh.
What could I tell him? Let’s see, I was somewhat in hiding hoping the big bad scary man wouldn’t find me. I sighed to myself and tried to shake the dark cloud away. Chris seemed like a nice ray of sunlight and I was tired of cowering in the shadowy corner.
“Well, I’m Ethel’s granddaughter for starters. Pretty sure the whole town knows that already. I may not have as much spunk as her, but I’m defiantly not a party pooper.” He laughed and gave me a knowing look. Nan had a reputation around town. Not that it was such a bad thing. Never a dull moment when she was around. “I don’t really stay in one place too long. Never found that one thing that felt like home, ya know?”
“I get it. I haven’t moved away because here feels too much like home. There are those who run away from this place and never look back as soon as their leash is cut. And then there are those who just never leave,” He said with a shrug.
My mom was one of the former. The only reason she ever came back was when she needed something from Nan. She never stayed long enough to reminisce.
“It’s not so bad. There’s got to be something said for the way people of small towns always look after one another. It’s something that’s lost in the big city. You start to feel more like a blank shadow than an actual person. Walking down the streets and never getting a friendly smile.” I pulled out a cup and filled it with water. “Trust me, I’ve lived all over, small towns, big cities, I know.”
“I imagine sometimes what it would be like to get out,” he said, playing mindlessly with a stir straw. I wasn’t sure why the bar even had them, but for some reason, there was a whole cup filled when them sitting on the bar top. “But I don’t think any place will make me feel like I do here. Grounded. At ease. Comfortable.”
“Home,” I said, putting it simply.
“Home,” he repeated as if it was the perfect answer.
The next couple hours went by with us chatting. I learned he had an older brother, who fled as soon as he graduated high school. He also had a younger sister that was about to graduate. He said that she was probably going to marry her high school sweetheart and start a family. He bet she would be knocked up in less than three months. She was following in their parent’s footsteps.
It was typical small town story. The one that you didn’t read about in books or see in the movies because it was boring.
“Yeah, I totally agree,” Chris said seeing the grimace on my face and understanding my thoughts. “I like the free life. I have faith that when it’s time the world will send me a sign. Like the love of my life will fall out of the sky or something.” We both erupted with laughter at the ridiculous idea.
Chris said he didn’t want to leave town. But he also didn’t want to settle down right away and fall into that small town mindset. However, he wasn’t dating anyone and said he had a hard time finding anyone in town. I wondered what exactly he meant by that. I had a feeling there was more to tell, but we weren’t close enough yet for him to tell me.
At a quarter to seven, Brandon walked in the door. The place was still quiet. Chris and I were laughing about some story he was telling me about a bad camping trip.
“Hey,” I said to Brandon, flashing him a warm smile. “What, they left you behind?” I gave a fake sad face and he laughed as he took a seat at the bar top.
“Apparently, I got something more important to do.” His eyebrows went up for a brief second. I knew he was saying more, but I didn’t have the code to read between the lines. I pulled out a beer and set it down in front of him.
“Are you allowed to talk to me now? There’s no one around, I think you’re safe,” I said. He ducked his head for a quick moment and I saw he was shaking with a silent laugh.
“Yes, I can talk, Reagan. What do you want to talk about?” He started to relax on the stool.
I took him in for a few beats. He had a boyish quality to him. I guessed he was around twenty-five. Something in his eyes still held a light to the world; unlike most of the other guys. I looked down his arms, following the swirls of colors and images. His left arm was filled with old time sailor tattoos. A heart and dagger with a banner design was centered on his forearm. Inside the words ‘Live to Love’ were written. It made me smile. The other arm looked incomplete. Like an idea had started and then changed a few times. I had a feeling that by the time it was done it would be a collection of art telling a life story.
“You have any?” he asked. I pulled my eyes up to his.
“Not yet.” I shrugged. To that, he smiled and his face lit up. Holy Hell! He had dimples, the kind that was so deep it made me want to stick my finger in them. I couldn’t believe I’d never noticed them before. I had a feeling tattoos fell under one of his passions. I had always wanted one. Well, I had always wanted many. I had ideas in my head, but for some reason I wanted that first one to be special, and nothing I wanted seemed to fit the bill.
“I could give you one, ya know? If you want or when you’re ready.” He looked away for a moment like he was nervous.
“You ink?” I leaned forward, very interested in this new detail.
“Yeah. I’ve been doing it a few years now. Done a lot on the guys. Don’t have a place yet, but I hope to one day.”
I wondered if he had done any of Nate’s. I was about to ask, then I thought better. That would leave me open to admit that I had seen Nate with his shirt off. Not sure that was something he wanted everyone knowing. Even if it was innocent. Sort of, anyway. The thoughts that followed definitely weren’t. I felt my skin get heated as I thought about it.
“Yes,” I said, getting back on topic. “Yes, I would love that. I’ll let you know when I’m ready.”
Before we could say anything else, the door opened and in walked four girls. All pretty much looking the same. Big boobs, small waists, tons of makeup. Their clothing only threatened to cover something and the highest heels I’d ever seen. I wondered if there was a strip club nearby I didn’t know about. I heard Chris groan behind me and something inside me sank. They plopped themselves at the other end of the bar and shot me a nasty look. Then the shorter one with blonde hair turned to Brandon and giggled before she said her hello. It was obvious she knew him and she was in some way trying to mark her territory. I rolled my eyes. To Brandon’s credit, he tossed out a quick wave of the hand.
“I gotta make a call, be back in a minute,” Brandon said, finishing his beer and standing up. “Don’t play into any of it, Reagan.” I nodded like I knew what the hell he was talking about, then shuffled my way over to the group of girls.
“So you’re that new girl we’ve heard about.” The short one said. “I’m Tammy. This is Christi.” She pointed to the one on the end with long, platinum blonde hair and big lips. “Shalla.” The one next to her with brown hair with chunky blonde streaks. “And Hanna.” The one on her other side with black hair cut in a short bob.
To be honest, I was only half-listening. I’d known girls like them. They weren’t here to make friends with me. I could have choked on the haughtiness that filled the air when they walked in. For whatever reason they were there, the last thing I wanted to do was give them more fuel for the fire. So I did the best I could and tried to seem interested.
“Reagan.” I nodded with nothing more to say.
“Yeah, we know.” Tammy’s bitchiness wasn’t lost on me.
“Well, as I’m sure you well know, we’ve got beer or anything straight up.” I hitched my thumb over my shoulder at the bottles on the wall behind me. I wasn’t about to play their games and I didn’t bother trying.
“Beer is fine.” Tammy seemed to be the leader of them and I wondered if any of the others actually had voices. Or brains. I snorted to myself at the thought as I turned to get the bottles. As I popped the tops they started a conversation behind me, but by the obnoxious volume, I knew they wanted me to hear.
“I hate it when the guys leave. It’s always so boring,” Tammy whined.
“Yeah, but you know it’s always better when they get back. Especially, Diesel. It’s like he goes away, gets the change of scenery he needs, then comes back even harder.” Not sure which one was talking now. Nor did I really care.
“What’s up with Loch? He hasn’t even looked at me lately.”
Hearing his name I stiffened and abandoned what I was doing. I stood there, stuck in a frozen state.
“You know how he gets. He prefers Tammy and Jessica. And well, since Jessica and Axe are together again…”
Was I aggravated? A little. Was I mad? Yes, only because it was their obvious intention to rub that shit in my face. But above all of that, the big question rang out. Was I hurt? I would be lying if I said no.
“Yeah, he’s been coming to me. But you know how he can get. Goes crazy for a few days, fucks my brains out, then takes a break for a week or so. Last week he came into my room and went all alpha male on my mouth.” Tammy’s voice rang out like nails on a chalkboard.
This was good, I tried to convince myself. I needed to know who he really was and this was a big help to remind me to keep my walls built.
“I know what you mean. Bocca came back to the clubhouse two nights ago, crazy in a mood,” Tweedle Dee said. “Caught me walking down the hall, pushed me up against the wall, then plowed into me like there was no tomorrow.”
I snapped myself out of it and turned around, beers in hand. I set them down on the bar top and gave a tight smile. Tammy threw me a knowing smug smile.
“Anything else?” I asked, not politely.
“We’re good,” Tammy said shooing me away with her long talon nails. Painted bright red, of course. I turned around and headed to the other end of the bar. Brandon had slipped back in without me noticing. His eyebrow rose as soon as he saw me. I shook my head like I didn’t want to talk about it. I turned around needed to give myself a moment before I looked at anyone. I was irritated and a little hurt, though I had no reason to be.
“Don’t let them get to you,” Chris said, coming up beside me. “They’re just here to stir up shit. I really can’t stand them. Well except for Jessica. She has sense enough to keep her mouth shut. But she’s not here tonight. She also has this on again off again thing with one of the guys, Axe.” He slung his arm around my shoulders in a friendly comforting way.
“No I get it, they’re just staking claim to their boys,” I said, doing my best to brush it off.
“That’s just the thing, they don’t have any claim. They just keep waiting around. Hoping one of those boys will pick them up and put their skanky asses on the back of his bike and make her their old lady. Ain’t gonna happen,” Chris said, giving me a pointed look.
“It’s not like it matters…” I did my best to shrug it off.
“Keep tellin’ yourself that.” He chuckled and turned around. It seemed that I was more transparent than I meant to be.
“So…” I said, turning my attention to Brandon. His head shot up like he wasn’t listening in on our conversation. But I was smarter than that. Chris and I walked the measly three steps over to his corner together. “You really want to brand me with your art?” I chuckled. “Brand, that’s what I’m going to call you from now on. Get it? Ha Ha.” I threw in a couple of super cheesy winks.
This warranted me an eye roll from Chris and a snort from Brandon, but I could tell deep down he liked it. I was going to make it stick!
“Cute.” Was all I got out of Brandon. My phone rang under the bar. The only person that I knew that had my number was Nan. “You should get that.” I narrowed my eyes at him then shuffled over to my phone. I looked down to see that my phone was flashing Nate’s name. I wondered how he not only got my number but also programmed himself into my phone.
“Yeah?” I answered while narrowing my eyes at Brandon again.
“The fuck I say?” Nate’s tone was gruff and slightly pissed off. Okay, more than slightly. I actually flinched a bit, but I was glad he wasn’t around to see it.
“What?” I asked. The confusion that echoed in my voice was genuine.
“Truck. Use it, babe. I’m not asking.” There was something in his tone that caught me off guard. It wasn’t the bark but the underlying softness of concern mixed in there.
“What? How?” I pointed my finger at Brandon. I started putting the pieces together in my head. That phone call he made not too long ago was to Nate. Brandon was going to pay. “Oh, so you’ve got your dog here to spy on me, huh.”
“Lookin’ out for you.” He paused for a moment.
“Send your whores in here to set me in my place, too?” I hissed through gritted teeth. Okay, I may have snapped a bit. “I get it. No need to tell me.” I almost hung up on him before he could say anything back. I was pissed. Sure some part of me melted a little that he was looking out for me. But it felt like he was doing it behind my back. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes and it pissed me off even more. He sighed and it echoed through the phone.
“Rea,” That was the first time he called me that. His tone was softer than before. And right there I turned into a pile of goo. Every muscle in my body twitched as I tried my hardest to hold back a huge smile. “I’m sorry they’re there. When I get back shit is goin’ to be dealt with. Please, just use the damn truck.”
“Yes, sir!” I said mockingly. His deep growl came through the phone and shot down to my lower regions, leaving a fiery trail. Then he was gone. I pulled the phone away, a little stunned that he hung up on me.
I was a little ashamed of lashing out at him. I knew I had no claim on him. I hadn’t even let him know I was interested. I spent so much time and energy telling myself that I wasn’t and trying not to let it show through that I was.
“I’m not talking to you,” I said to Brandon, like a five-year-old throwing a fit. “We’re not friends anymore.” I crossed my arms over my chest.
“Yes, we are. You will forgive me.” He smiled, knowing it was true. He flashed me his dimples and all the anger melted away. Damn fucking dimples.
The next day before I went to work, I hopped into Nate’s truck. I didn’t want to anger him any more than I already had. The thing was a freakin’ monster. I was really nervous about driving it and I counted my lucky stars I didn’t have far to go. I took a selfie of myself behind the wheel. Super cheesy. Then I sent it to Nate.
Me: Seriously, it’s huge! What am I supposed to do with it?!
It wasn’t lost on me how it sounded.
Nate: You can handle it.
I laughed really loud.
Me: I have no doubt. But I’m talking about your truck ;) I need like a booster seat just to see over the steering wheel.
Was I flirt texting with Nate? I shook my head and tossed my phone aside. I needed to stop.
The rest of the weekend went by pretty much went by pretty slow. There wasn’t a lot of action going on in the bar. Chris was there to keep me from going bored out of my mind and Brandon joined later in the night. Luckily, the club skanks didn’t come back. I guessed they figured they did the damage they had hoped for.