Before my grandma died, I had two best friends: Carey and Logan. After her funeral, I had three: Carey, Logan, and Ian. We kissed four times while I was there, as he made sure to kiss me before I left his house after having dinner with him and his dad, and then he kissed me when we were once again at the airport. I went from having never been kissed to having been kissed four times in the span of a weekend.
I still think it’s the craziest thing to ever happen to me.
Ian texts or calls me every single day. We talk about nothing, our families, our friends, school, and each other. He’s become my go-to person, though I’d never say that to Logan or Carey. They both think we talk too much. The last thing they need to know is that on the best friend tier, Ian is at the top.
Things have become confusing, too. I like Ian. The more I talk to him, the more I like him. I smile when he calls me gorgeous. I get irritated when he says stupid shit to get a rise out of me, which seems to be something he immensely enjoys. We’ve even exchanged some dirty texts. That’s also a first for me. Ian Rhett seems to be taking all of my firsts. That’s something I like and something that scares me at the same time. But where Ian is concerned, I seem to have some confidence that I definitely don’t have with other guys.
I’ve almost asked if I could visit my dad again, but every time I want to ask, Ian ends up having some hockey thing to do or he’s down in Florida visiting his mother, so it wouldn’t work. Plus, I’m too chicken to ask him if he’d want to see me again. It’s been a year since we’ve seen one another. I ache to see him. Sometimes, it’s unbearable. So unbearable that it’s tempting to ask if I can move in with my dad.
Yeah.
I get that desperate to see him.
And then, there’s a day like today.
Me: Someone asked me out today.
Ian: You should go as long as he doesn’t drive a squatted truck. Where does he want to take you?
I hate that he wants me to go. This is the third time he’s told me to go on a date with someone. Yeah, I realize we live in different states, miles and miles apart, and I don’t know what I expect, but I do know that I don’t want him to easily tell me to go on a date with someone. I only tell him about the prospective date because he was the first to mention how he was going on a date with some girl who obviously isn’t me.
Ian can be confusing. He seems to like me, but he doesn’t mind sharing when he’s with other people. I think he does it partly to get a rise out of me. I can never tell for sure, though. He still talks to me just as much, too. Sometimes, he’s texting me while he’s hanging out with them, which makes me feel guilty and I shouldn’t since we’re just friends. I know that’s what we are, but it doesn’t feel like that all that time. I don’t want us to be that, even though I don’t see how we could be anything other than that.
So, I tell him about these dates and stupidly wish he’d tell me not to waste my time.
That’s what I’d be doing regardless.
Both dates I’ve been on eventually end with me being dumped in one way or another. Maybe there’s only one date, or there’s a couple and then the guy acts like he doesn’t even know me. I really don’t want to go through that for a third time.
Sighing, I answer Ian.
Me: Movies.
Ian: Again? Don’t you guys have something else to do besides that?
Me: Apparently not.
Ian: Well, go anyway. Hey, have you checked the mail today? If not, check it.
“Mom!” I shout as I leave my room.
“What?” she yells back from the kitchen.
“Did I get something in the mail?” I ask as I find her making dinner.
“Oh, yeah. The package is on the table. I think it’s from your dad.”
The return address doesn’t include a name, so she probably saw the state and assumed so. “Thanks.” I grab it and rush to my room. I love getting packages from Ian. He sent me a necklace with my birthstone in the pendant for Christmas. I’ve yet to take it off, though I’d never tell Ian that. His ego would cause his head to grow so big, it’d explode. And Ian definitely has one at times. He also sent me a package in February. He said it was just because, that it had nothing to do with a certain love-centered holiday. It was a simple gold anklet. Haven’t taken that off yet either.
My birthday is tomorrow, so I’m assuming that’s why he’s sending me another package. I’m excited to see if he’s sticking to jewelry or if he’ll branch out into something else.
“Another package from Ian?” Logan asks as he comes into my room, plopping onto my bed to lie on his back.
“Yep. Where’s your pocket knife? I forgot to grab the scissors.” Ian tapes up the packages so that you can’t easily open them. It’s annoying as hell. I’ve told him to stop, but he won’t. Logan pulls his pocket knife from his pocket, but since he doesn’t let anyone else use it, he takes my package and opens it up for me. I grab the box and pull out another box. The presents are always wrapped inside. It looks to be too big for jewelry.
I unwrap it to find what you’d normally put clothes in when wrapping presents, but when I open that, I find a book. It’s a recent release I’ve been wanting by one of my favorite authors, but haven’t gotten around to buying yet. My fingers gingerly run over the front cover and peel off the sticky note that says, “Open me.”
A scream erupts when I see that it’s signed. Oh my god!
“Look!” I turn it around to shove it at Logan’s face. “It’s signed! Oh my god! I’ve never had a book signed before!” No one will let me borrow the car to go to the signings when they are sort of close by. I grab my phone and call Ian.
“Like it?” he answers.
“If you were here, I’d kiss you. Thank you so much.”
“Really?” He audibly perks up. “I thought it would be a good present, but I didn’t think it would be that good. I had to wait in line for four hours for that, gorgeous. Four hours.”
“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for doing that for me.”
“Of course,” he replies quietly as if he’d do anything for me.
“This is my first signed book.” Logan waves from his spot on the bed, so I add, “Logan says hey.”
“Hey to him, and that’s cool. Want to know something else?”
“What?”
“I read it.”
I gasp. “You read this book? The one that’s been signed?”
“I was in line for four hours, Sydney. I needed to do something and you like this dude, who seems a bit like a weirdo in person, just so you know, so I figured I’d give it a shot. It’s a pretty good book.”
I lie down next to Logan. “I don’t know if I can handle this. First, the book is signed, and now, you’re telling me that you read and liked a book.”
Ian laughs, and goodness, I’ve missed that. We haven’t talked on the phone in about a month or so. “Sounds like I made your birthday.”
“You have.”
“Good.” He’s quiet for a moment. “I’ve missed talking to you.”
Logan snorts and I point for him to leave since he can obviously hear our conversation. “You talk to her every day!” he says loud enough for Ian to hear him before I turn and push him with my feet off the bed. He glares at me as he leaves, making a show of rubbing his side.
“You know what I mean,” Ian says.
“Yeah, I do. If you’ve missed me, why haven’t you called?”
“Just been busy.”
That’s such a bullshit answer. How can someone have time to text with little to no delay between responses, but doesn’t have time to actually talk on the phone? I don’t say that, though. He probably has a new girlfriend if he isn’t calling. Or maybe he’s busy with hockey or something. “Well, thanks again for my present.”
“You’re welcome. Happy birthday, too. Go read your new book and text me later.”
“Oh, I will.”
“And tell that guy you’ll go on a date with him.”
“I’ll think about it.” There’s a lull and I wait for him to make the move to end the call as usual.
“Hey, gorgeous.”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think...” His voice trails off. I sit up on my bed, feeling nervous as I realize that he sounds nervous. “Do you think you’d be able to come up for Christmas? I’d love to see you.”
See? How can he tell me to go on a date with a guy and then ask if I can come see him this year for Christmas?
“Maybe. I’ll probably have to convince Mom that I want to be there, but I can try. You won’t be busy?”
“Not for an entire week. You can come, stay at your dad’s, but spend all your time with me.”
“What does your dad say?”
Ian is quiet for a moment. “Well, when I mentioned it, I made it sound like you might be coming up to see your dad, not me, though I don’t think he believes me. But you still don’t really get along with your dad, so he can fuck up like he usually does and that’s the perfect reason for you to be with me the whole time.”
Yeah. I turn seventeen tomorrow. It’s not like my mom will let me go halfway across the country to see an eighteen-year-old who will graduate high school this year. Let’s not even talk about how I’m already nervous about him going away to college and meeting college girls. It’s irrational in many ways, but I can’t help it.
“Will you try? Try until she says yes?”
How do I say no to him?
Over the next two months, Ian calls me a few times a week, and I answer, pretending it’s my dad. There’s no way my mom will let me go if she thinks things are still strained between my father and me. When my dad does actually call me, I make sure to be as nice as possible to him. Things aren’t always bad between us, and I’m working hard to keep things good.
Thanksgiving comes and dinner has died down. I keep waiting for Logan to leave the table, but he doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. I didn’t really want him here because he’s going to give me knowing looks.
“So, Mom,” I start, needing to get it over with. “Can I spend a week with Dad for Christmas?”
She immediately glances at my stepdad, Chris, with surprise.
“I haven’t seen him in over a year—since Grandma’s funeral,” I add.
“He asked you to come?”
I nod. Every year, Dad asks me to come, but I usually turn him down without ever mentioning it to Mom. This year, I told him I would ask. I can still hear his surprise ringing in my ears. Logan is staring at me and he reaches under the table to grab my knee. I shove it off of me. The last thing I need is for my plan to be foiled now.
“You want to spend an entire week with him?”
“He’s my dad and I haven’t seen him in forever. He wants to spend Christmas with me, so yes.”
“Okay. If he pays for the plane ticket, then you can go.”
“Thanks!” It takes everything I have not to squeal with excitement. I pull out my phone and text Ian first and then Dad.
“Let’s clean up,” Logan says, standing. He picks up his plate and raises an eyebrow at me. I grab my plate and follow him into the kitchen. “You’re going to see him, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” I answer simply.
“Do you even plan to spend time with your dad?”
“Some of it, yeah.”
“This is crazy!”
Frowning, I ask, “Why? It’s not like we haven’t met before.”
“You’ve met once!”
“And we’ve been talking ever since. Shut up about it, Logan. I’m going.”
“Fine. Who asked who?”
“He asked me to come.”
Logan grumbles under his breath, and I leave to continue clearing off the table since he volunteered us for the job. My phone vibrates with a text.
Ian: Can’t fucking wait, gorgeous!
“Stop texting and help me, Syd.”
I put my phone away for now and help him. Soon, I’ll see Ian again. Can’t fucking wait is the biggest understatement ever.
Ian: Think of our kiss.
That’s the text Ian sends me when the time has finally come and I tell him I’m boarding the plane. It’s been so long that I’m sure the details aren’t as good as the real thing. Instead of imagining the kiss we had, I imagine the kiss I’ll get. Dad is supposed to pick me up, but I’m hoping to have dinner with Ian tonight.
I’m so nervous about seeing him. I’ve gotten used to the texts and the occasional phone calls. Between that and it being so long since we last saw one another, what if it’s different between us when we’re together in person again? What is it going to be like between us now? I end up worrying about that so much that I almost miss the takeoff. Almost.
The flight seems to take forever. At least this time, I’m certain Dad will be there waiting for me. He’s been in contact with me all day. My legs bounce for the length of the flight and finally, we’re landing. I only have my carry-on because I can pack like a pro, but I head to the baggage claim anyway since that’s where Dad said he’d meet me.
Worry starts to creep in when I don’t see him.
“Hey, gorgeous. You should be looking for me.”
I whirl around to see Ian. My eyes widen as I take him in. Wow. He doesn’t even look the same. “What happened to you?” I blurt out before I can stop myself.
He grins. “Growth spurt and I grew a beard,” he answers with a shrug. He isn’t kidding about the growth spurt either. He’s towering over me now. His beard is a little thick. It’s hot and my first thought is that I wonder what it’ll be like to kiss him now. “Looks like you did some growing, too.” His eyes roam over my body in appreciation.
“Where’s my dad?” I ask before my cheeks can go from a small burn to a full blaze.
“I convinced him to let me pick you up. Wasn’t easy. Are you going to hug me or just stare at me?” I must hesitate too long because he steps forward and pulls me against him. “So good to see you,” he says, squeezing me tightly.
“You too. You have more muscles.” I can feel them and they feel good! He’s more solid and wider and wow, he doesn’t even feel the same!
Ian laughs. “A lot can change in a little over a year, huh?” He lets me go, takes my carry-on bag, and grabs my hand. “Let’s go.”
I follow him out of the airport and to his car.
“How was your flight?”
“It was fine. How did you convince my dad?”
“Well, first, I had to remind him that we knew each other. Then, I told him that we talked sometimes and I wanted to surprise you and hang out with you for a little bit. He did not want to let me, but once I told him I knew the details of your flight, he was convinced that I was telling the truth and that I could come pick you up as long as you’re home by eleven.”
Wow. Dad’s giving me the entire day with Ian. That’s kind of odd.
“Are you sure you’re not kidnapping me because my dad got caught up in something and couldn’t pick me up?”
“You finding it hard to believe that he’d let you spend so much time with me willingly?”
“A little bit,” I confess.
“Fine. I also pointed out that if he let me pick you up, he wouldn’t have to take time off of work. That seemed to motivate him more than anything.”
Figures.
“But you’re with me all day. That’s something to smile about.”
He’s absolutely right. As we leave the airport, I ask, “Do you have anything planned for us?”
“Oh, I have a lot planned for us.” His devilish grin both unnerves and excites me.