The next day before practice, Kenny grabbed Dustin’s jersey and pulled him back from running out to the field.

“Can I talk to you a second?” he asked.

“Do I have a choice?” Dustin said.

“Just give me a minute, okay. This is important.”

Dustin crossed his arms and stepped off to the side so no one would overhear whatever scolding he was about to get.

“I saw the posters,” Kenny said. “That really sucks.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sure you’re upset and rightly so. I hope you’re not planning on getting some sort of revenge on her.”

Dustin lifted a shoulder and looked away.

“Here’s the thing,” Kenny said. “It’s never going to make it better. Getting revenge on her won’t take away the pain of what happened. And it certainly won’t get you back in good graces with Coach. In fact, doing something to her might end your career for good. Is that what you want?”

Dustin glared, but said nothing.

“I didn’t think so,” Kenny continued. “I’ve been in a messed up place before, and it seems like you’re there. You’re in that place where you’ll do anything, no matter how crazy it seems, just because you feel entitled or like you need to make someone pay. But let me tell you, it’s not worth it. I’m not in the pros today because of some of the mistakes I made. Luckily now, I have a good woman to keep me straight. But I was in bad shape for a long time. I’d hate to see you go down that same path.”

“Thanks.”

“For me, the big change happened when I started to see women as people. They’re not just some prize to win or a piece of ass to get. They’re people with deep feelings, just like us. And we have a habit of hurting them badly. That woman Brooklyn has done some messed up things, but I’m sure it’s only because she’s been so hurt that she felt like she had no other way to be heard. Kind of like how you want to get revenge so you can save face for what she did. She’s the same as you. You just have to see it. You wouldn’t want them to have some contest for how many of us they can screw over, would you?”

Dustin stared across the locker room, trying to make excuses in his mind for everything Kenny said.

“No, you wouldn’t. You wouldn’t want them to use you for money, just like they don’t want to be used for sex. It’s more emotional for them than it is for us guys, and I think we don’t get it. When I found Audrey, I treated her bad, too. But when I really listened to all she’d been through, and when I realized she was just as messed up as I was in some ways, it made me see her differently. Then I started trusting her and opening up to her, and that’s when everything changed between us. Now I’ve got this beautiful family and a woman who loves me like crazy. I can’t believe I almost missed out on it all just because I wanted to get laid so bad. Think about it. And think about your career.”

Kenny patted him on the shoulder and walked away. A minute later, Dustin joined the team on the field. Kenny’s words ran through his mind, but he tried to push them away. He wasn’t like Kenny.

The practice started out okay. Dustin got lucky and made a good catch during the first scrimmage, but his luck ran out fast. He caught sight of Audrey and their baby in the stands, cheering Kenny on. A sudden pang of jealousy went through his chest, and he couldn’t keep his eyes off them. Maybe Kenny was right about one thing. Maybe Dustin did need a good woman behind him to keep him on track. At least he wouldn’t have to bother with these contests and trying to prove himself if he could just say he was taken. Being single all the time kept leaving him in a position to have to prove his worth to the guys. If he couldn’t keep one woman, it better be because he was out sleeping with a ton of them.

He missed one pass, then another. By the third, the coach blew the whistle and motioned him over.

“Take the bench, Perry. You can come back when your attitude about life has improved.”

Dustin went to sit on the bench, tugging his helmet off as he sat. He dropped it on the ground beside him and put his head in his hands for a long while.

Maybe it was time to start reconsidering things. Kenny was also right about his career. He was messing up all the time. He’d end up off the team with nothing else in life to do. If football was where he wanted to make his mark, he had to get his act together. And if part of that was getting over these cheerleaders, maybe he did need to see them differently.

He stared at Audrey for a while. She cuddled the baby, she cheered on Kenny, and she blew him kisses. Every so often, Kenny would make his way over to her and give her and the baby a quick kiss. Must be nice to have that—to feel love and be loved. To always have someone on your side. The cheerleaders cheered for them, but only because they had to, not because they wanted the team to do well on a personal level.

He looked over at the cheerleaders. He got nasty looks from Claire and Annabelle that made his heart lurch. They were nothing like the looks Audrey gave Kenny. She clearly loved him. What must that feel like? Dustin never thought love held much value, but it had to be better than being hated like this. Every time he looked over at the cheerleaders, he got a dirty look from one of them. They must all hate him. He spotted Holly and wondered if she’d ever take Hayden back. She didn’t seem to be looking over at the team at all, and she definitely wasn’t looking at Hayden.

Maybe Dustin had played some part in that breakup. If he hadn’t started this contest in the first place, maybe Holly and Hayden would have gotten together and there would have been no interference. Maybe they’d still be together. And maybe if he hadn’t been in such a rush to beat the other guys, he would have taken his time with Claire and Annabelle. Kenny might be right. They might have stories worth listening to. Maybe they’d been hurt in their pasts, too. Maybe they were just as messed up as he was.

And who knew what was up with Brooklyn? Something must’ve happened to her to make her like that. What could have gone on in her life to make her so distrustful of men and so angry toward them? Maybe someone had assaulted her in some way. Or she had a drunk father or stepfather? That sort of thing happened all the time.

He looked over at Brooklyn and pictured that, pictured a large man hitting her across the face, making her fall down and bleed. It upset him. And then he thought, if someone had done that to him, he’d be pretty mad, too. He’d want to take it out on anyone who seemed to be mistreating those around him. As he kept thinking and watching her, his heart started to soften. She’d done a really messed up thing to him, but he’d done messed up things, too. He’d hurt her and the squad, and whatever had happened to her in the past had given her even more cause to hate him. No wonder she thought he should be dead. She probably saw every evil man in him and wanted them all dead.

Sitting on the bench had given him a long time to think. By the time he got home, he was sure of what he would do. He took down some notes so he wouldn’t forget anything he wanted to say. Then, he took a long breath and called Brooklyn. As he expected, she didn’t answer. He didn’t want her to. He’d never be able to do this if she had. When her voicemail came on, he left a long message.

“Hey, it’s Dustin. I know I’m the last person you want to hear from, but there are some things I need to say. First, I don’t know why you felt like doing what you did to me, but I forgive you. I get that I hurt you and this was your way to pay me back and be heard. I get it. Really. I’m not mad about it, even if it did get me on probation with the team. I shouldn’t have done what I did to Claire and Annabelle or any of you. I shouldn’t have started this contest, or even looked at any of you as just things to conquer. I see now that I was wrong, and I’m sorry for it. I don’t expect you to call me back or anything or even forgive me for what I did, but I still needed to say it. I know you have feelings, too, and you’ve been hurt, and I guess we’re all just messed up people trying to live life. I went about things wrong, and I’m sorry.”

He hung up, then called Claire and Annabelle to leave similar messages, apologizing specifically for leading them on and sleeping with them too soon. When he went to bed that night, he had a clear conscience for maybe the first time ever, and he slept well.