Chapter Two – Knox

Knox had not come to Bear Creek looking for love. After his life spiraled out of control, the last thing he needed was a woman. He didn’t need to fuck that up too. Yet here she was, standing right in front of him, all sparkly blue eyes, blonde hair, and dimples to die for. She was about as good and wholesome as you could get. Fuck if he was going to ruin her life by being part of it.

But how the hell was he supposed to resist her? The urge to put her over his shoulder and take her to bed, any bed, was incredible. His bear roared in his head, begging him to grab ahold of her and not let her go. It was nearly loud enough to drown out the sound of her heart hammering in her chest.

Oh yeah, he could hear it. And his own damn heart resonated with the same thump, thump, thump.

“OK, so where are you headed?” His mate’s lips were moving but he wasn’t listening, he was just watching, and thinking how much he wanted to kiss her. Like, really wanted to kiss her.

He shook his head and pulled the piece of paper from his pocket. “This address. An old army pal lives there.” Too much information. He’d given her a way in.

“You are in the army?” Her body language softened, but her heart rate was still elevated.

“Discharged.”

“Let me see this address.” She took the piece of crumpled paper from him and studied it for a moment. “I think I know where this is.”

“You think you know?” Knox couldn’t keep his interest in check. Damn if he didn’t need to know everything about this woman. Both inside and out. He wanted to share her memories, know her dreams, and explore every inch of her curvy body.

“I only just moved here.” A sheepish smile spread across her face. “I may not be too much use to you.”

“The blind leading the blind.” He should just walk away and leave her to get on with her life. Leave her to drink her wine and eat her chocolate cake.

“At least you’ll have company.” She flashed her dimples. “I know the town fairly well. But not enough to give you directions. I work more on intuition.”

“Intuition.” Knox nodded and looked up and down the street. “Well, as long as I am not spoiling your hot date, I’d appreciate your help.” Let her go.

“Oh.” She looked down at her wine and cake. “No hot date. I’m afraid to admit this is for me. I moved in today, and thought I deserved a treat.”

“You moved here today?” Knox asked as she turned to the left and walked down the main street, with Knox by her side like a love-sick puppy. This woman radiated warmth; she had an openness about her, a truth.

“Yes. My parents decided to move abroad for my mom’s health. I needed somewhere to live, and a friend was moving out of her house. It seemed natural for me to move in.” She hesitated at the end of the main street and then pointed to the right. “This way.”

Knox followed, the scent of her on the night air reaching him, teasing him, hinting at the warm skin hidden beneath her clothes. “What’s your name?”

She cast a sideways glance at him. “Hannah. Yours?”

“Knox.”

“Good to meet you, Knox. Is that a nickname?”

“Sort of.” He shrugged. “I’ve been called Knox for so long…it’s who I am.”

“And who are you?” she asked.

“Subtle.”

“It’s my job.” There was that smile again. Like sunshine through the rain clouds. He could bathe in her radiance, let her warm his frozen soul.

“What do you do?” He kept his longing from his voice. It was better if she didn’t know what she was to him.

“You evaded the question.” She raised her brow at him, but the dimples remained.

“It’s my job.” He attempted a lopsided grin.

Was he trying to look cute? His bear shook his head in disgust.

Hannah flashed him a brighter smile. “I like you, Knox.” She turned to walk along a side street, and then stopped, pointing at a road on the other side. “There’s your address.”

“You’re leaving me?” He looked to where she pointed.

“Do you want me to walk you right up to the door?” Hannah cocked her head to one side. “I take it this is not a romantic visit.”

She was fishing for information. Was she interested in him? “I told you, it’s an old army buddy.”

“That didn’t tell me anything.” Even in the street light, he could see her cheeks flush red with embarrassment. “You could be here as a surprise. A girlfriend. A boyfriend. That crumpled note of yours…” Hannah laughed. “I have an overactive imagination.” She stepped back away from him. “I might see you around, Knox.”

“Wait, I should walk you home.” He looked up and down the street, searching for danger that wasn’t there. This was Bear Creek, not some desert town in a hostile country.

“I’m fine. Go see your friend. I have a pizza to collect.” She backed away from him, her chocolate cake and wine held up as if to ward him off.

“Can I have your number?” His words tumbled from his mouth. Why was his brain not engaging properly? He should let her walk out of his life. She would be happier, safer. Inside him, his bear growled, a low warning rumble. They couldn’t let her go, not now that they’d found her.

“I don’t give my number out to strangers.” Hannah flashed him a sympathetic look.

“That’s a good idea.” He nodded, desperate to know how he could find her again. The chick at the grocery store would likely be able to tell him. Pushing for her number now might verge on stalker-ish.

“Let’s leave it up to fate.” Hannah’s smile dropped, she was serious.

“Fate?” A loaded question.

“You do believe in fate?” Hannah asked pointedly.

“I do.” He thought he didn’t. After all that had happened the last few months, it was hard for Knox to believe in anything. But when his mate was standing here before him, asking him to believe, how could he not?

“Then I’ll give you my number next time we meet.” With a small wave, she turned and walked away.

“Enjoy your chocolate cake and wine. And pizza.”

“I will.” She half turned but then carried on walking away.

Knox stood and watched, motionless as she became smaller in the distance and then turned a corner, leaving his life as if she had never been there. Hitching his pack on his shoulder, he turned around and looked across the street. Time to go.

Jogging across the street, he looked at the numbers of the houses, his heart rate rising as nerves kicked in. Jamie had offered him a place to crash. Until he got himself on his feet. He had money stashed away, enough to buy a nice cabin in the hills. Jamie was set on persuading Knox to move to Bear Creek, and Knox had been resisting. Small-town life was not for a man like Knox. He planned to move to a busy city where he could fade away, unnoticed, unseen. His mindset changed the instant he met Hannah.

As he raised his hand, ready to knock on the door of the little suburban house Jamie lived in with his wife and kids, Knox hesitated. Was he ready to play the role of a normal human being? Did he know where to begin? His life had never been normal: from the moment he was conceived, life had thrown crap at him and all of those around him.

Knox looked back along the street, picturing Hannah walking away. That’s what he should do. Walk away, leave her to her happy life.

“Are you going to stand there all evening?” Jamie’s voice asked from the open doorway. “Are you OK?” His tone shifted.

“Yeah. I’m fine.” Knox shut his emotions down.

“It’s good to see you, Knox.” Jamie pulled him into a bear hug that lasted long enough for them to convey their personal sorrow, but not long enough to be awkward.

“Good to see you too, Jamie.” He patted his old friend on the back.

“Come in. Kids are in bed, and Dani can’t wait to meet you.” Jamie stood back and ushered Knox inside.

Stepping over the threshold was a sign of commitment. If he planned to run, he should have gone already. But Knox couldn’t go; he knew that. Deep in his bones, he knew he was caught in a trap, one he didn’t ever want to escape from. But traps could be deadly. Experience had taught him that.

“Knox. Hello.” Dani, Jamie’s wife, stood in the living room looking nervous. She held out her hand and walked toward him. “I haven’t met many of Jamie’s army buddies.” Her eyes darkened and she looked horrified.

“We’re not all house-trained.” Knox pulled her into a hug. “It’s good to finally meet the woman who tamed Jamie.”

She smiled, gratitude in her expression. “I don’t think I’m the one who tamed him.”

Jamie gave a short laugh. “Dani might be right. The rugrats did that.”

“How many now?” Knox asked.

“Four altogether. Rich’s two kids and two of our own,” Jamie nodded. He’d come home to Bear Creek when his best friend, Richard, and his wife died in a car accident, leaving his two kids orphaned. Jamie had adopted them, and then met Dani. He’d gotten his happy ever after. “It’s a bit cramped. But we’re extending out back. That’s where we have you sleeping. Is that OK? The extension is nearly finished.”

“Anywhere dry is fine by me.”

“Do you want coffee? A beer?” Dani asked.

“A cold beer would be wonderful. It’s been a long journey.” With some effort, Knox fixed a smile on his face.

“It sure has.” Jamie’s tone conveyed just how long, and a weariness covered Knox. He was ready to lay his head down anywhere that was safe. Anywhere where the danger of suicide bombers was not a reality. He’d done his time, he’d earned his way out. But an empty hole in his heart left behind by a deadly ambush would always remind him others were not so lucky.

“Here we go.” Dani came back into the room, her eyes not quite meeting his as she handed Knox a beer and passed one to Jamie.

“Thanks, honey.” Jamie took hold of Dani’s hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

“Sorry.” Tears misted her eyes and she swallowed down a sob.

“Hey, it’s OK.” Jamie put his arm around Dani and hugged her. His wife buried her face in his chest and let out a shuddering breath.

“I thought I could hold it together.” Her muffled voice cracked with emotion.

“You don’t have to on my account,” Knox told her. “I’ve seen grown men cry.”

Dani turned to face him. “I keep thinking of their families…” She wiped her eyes. “Knowing how much Juliet and Jasper miss their parents…”

Knox looked at his beer; he shouldn’t have come here. He shouldn’t have accepted Jamie’s offer. He didn’t belong in this happy home. He didn’t belong anywhere anymore.

“I’m sorry.” Knox took a step forward, he was going to put his beer down and leave, but Jamie shook his head as he cradled his wife against his chest.

“The kids are looking forward to meeting you tomorrow.” He eased Dani away from him and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll show Knox around.”

Dani sniffed and nodded. “I’ll do the dishes. Do you want something to eat, Knox?”

Knox shook his head, his appetite long gone. He ate because he knew he had to eat to stay alive. Not because it gave him any pleasure. Nothing did. Not anymore.

That isn’t true, his bear told him. Hannah made you feel alive, she gave you hope. Even if you pretend you want to ignore it.

“Come on, bud.” Jamie inclined his head toward the door, and they left the room, beers in hand. “I could do with a hand finishing this off.”

Jamie led Knox out to the shell of an extension. There was a single bed tucked away in the corner, and a rail set up as a temporary closet. It was basic, but it suited him.

“Are you sure about this?” Knox asked.

“About what? You helping me with the extension?” Jamie gave a short laugh. “I don’t know, last time I saw you with a hammer you knocked a hole in the mess hall wall.”

Knox laughed. “Yeah, I remember. Smithy bet me a packet of cookies I couldn’t…” His laughter died on his lips.

“It gets easier,” Jamie told him. “You have to give yourself time.”

“Time won’t bring them back. Time won’t make this right.”

“No, it won’t. But you being here is not wrong.” Jamie placed a hand on Knox’s shoulder. “You have to let it go. I recognize the look in your eyes. When Richard and Mary died, I felt the same way. Sure, he didn’t die on a tour, but he still died. It should be him here with the kids, not me.”

Knox took a sip of his beer, letting the cold liquid wake him from his funky mood. “It comes and goes. Sometimes I think I’m OK, and then it hits me. I think my brain forgets. Or tries to forget. Then, bam! I remember.”

“You have a new life ahead of you, Knox. Make the most of it. Find your mate. Have kids.” Jamie’s voice thickened with emotion. “Kids are the best medicine.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Knox nodded. “Do you mind if I turn in? I am exhausted.”

“Sure, man. Bathroom is through there.” Jamie pointed to an unpainted door. “Shower’s connected and there are plenty of soft, fluffy towels. I even left you scented soap.” Jamie cracked a grin.

“You know me so well.” Knox returned a smile. This was why he’d come here. Jamie was the one man who could fully understand what he was going through.

“We’ll talk more tomorrow.” Jamie paused in the doorway. “If you want.”

“Thanks, Jamie. You’re a good friend.” Knox put his pack down on the bed as Jamie left the room. Then he exhaled, letting out the long, pent-up breath he always seemed to hold when around other people. It was how he controlled his emotions. It was how he stopped himself from falling apart.