Jessica
Days pass, and we sink into a comfortable routine. Matthew is incredible. Both Brooke and I are completely enamored with him. The three of us make a trip to Tyrone’s to let him know that Matthew has decided to be a permanent fixture in our lives, and I swear that hard-hearted lawyer actually tears up when we tell him. Good. He gave me a really hard time about letting Matthew get involved. I’m glad he gets to know that he was right. Even when I didn’t think Tyrone was correct about this, he was. He made everything okay, and I will always owe him for that.
He surprises me at the meeting, as well. When we tell Tyrone that Matthew plans to stay on Dragon Isle, he actually offers him a position working with him at his law practice on the island. Matthew and I are both completely blown away by this offer, but Matthew quickly says yes. I mean, what else do you say to a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity like that?
Somehow, everything begins to fall into place.
We spend our days together, just the two of us, and the evenings, we spend together as a family. Matthew makes plans to return to the mainland to collect his belongings and finish up a few projects at his job there. Brooke and I will both accompany him, and the little dragon shifter has never been more excited. Each night, she packs and unpacks her bag, eagerly reminding us that she is super grown up and ready for anything she might encounter on our trip.
Before we go, though, we meet with Matthew’s parents, who are shocked, but completely overjoyed to discover that they not only have a grandchild, but that their son is returning to the island he was raised on in order to bring up his own child. Brooke, strangely enough, seems more nervous about having grandparents than she does about having a father, but as soon as Matthew’s mom gives her a cookie, she relaxes instantly and declares that Grandma is her favorite person in the whole world.
Everything is just as it should be, except for one thing.
We haven’t consummated our mating.
It’s a little thing, really, and I mean it’s hard because we have a child around so much of the time. You can’t exactly get down-and-jiggy-with-it when you have to make dinner or help with homework or bath time or do tuck-ins, and by the time the end of the night rolls around, everyone is tired.
Still, I can’t help but feeling a little disappointed. Matthew and I have been intimate many times, but we’ve never actually had sex. We’ve never actually marked each other as mate’s.
There’s a small voice of insecurity in me that whispers it’s because he doesn’t really want this. That couldn’t be true, could it?
Matthew is fantastic, really. He’s sweet and kind and interesting and he’s a wonderful father to Brooke. She absolutely adores having him around all of the time, but me? I’m nervous now. I’m a little bit on edge.
What if he doesn’t actually want me?
What if the understanding that we’re mates wasn’t real?
I wish I had someone I could talk to about this, but I don’t really have anyone I can confide in. Michelle was my very best friend, but she’s gone now. I still miss her so much. Even though we fought, and we both made mistakes, and our relationship had its ups and downs, I miss her. I think part of me will always miss the way we were together.
There was a lot of laughter.
Always.
Now I’m in uncharted territory, though. I’m completely crazy for this dragon man who came home to the island and swept me off my silly feet, but I don’t know how to tell him how I feel. I don’t know how to express to him that I want more, that I need more.
Does Matthew feel this craving the way I do?
The urge to become one with him is driving me crazy. It’s completely overwhelming me, overtaking my every thought. I need more from him than just this comfortable friendship and relationship we’ve settled into. I need the passion. I need it. My inner dragon needs it.
“I’m going to go fly,” I tell him one evening. Tomorrow, we’re leaving the island to make Matthew’s move permanent. We’re going to help him clean out his home and pack up his belongings. We’ll have a moving company come transport his things directly to the island. Tonight, though, I need a little bit of time to myself. I need some fresh air so I can just think.
“Of course,” Matthew says. He kisses me sweetly because that’s what he is: sweet. He’s kind, and who ever heard of a kind lawyer? Certainly not me. He manages to be thoughtful and terribly sexy at the same time. It really is a dangerous combination, and now I know it’s even more important that I go out and shift. I need to be free for a little while.
I need to fly.
Just for a little while.
I head out to the back porch and strip out of my clothes. Folding them, I place them on a little bench. Most dragons shove their clothes in baskets. The entire island is sprinkled with them. Since I’m just coming right home after my flight, leaving my clothing on the porch will work fine.
For a minute, I stand there, just looking at the beautiful jungle that lies before me. One of my favorite things about Michelle’s choice of home is that it’s a mansion on the edge of the village and it backs right up to miles and miles of trees. Oh, there are a couple of close neighbors, but they all pretty much keep to themselves and everyone leaves each other alone.
Even the size of the house is something I could take or leave. Michelle was the one who wanted a giant home to live in: not me. Me? I’m a simple girl. I want to love and be loved. I want to shift and I want to fly, so that’s exactly what I do.
I take off running toward the nearest tree, and then I jump into the air, shifting mid-leap, and I soar into the air. Instantly, I feel my entire body relax. When I’m in my dragon form, I always manage to find peace. Even when things feel hard or scary or difficult, I find a calmness that centers me as soon as I’m able to shift.
This is how I’m supposed to be.
Shifters aren’t meant to be locked up in little houses or tiny bodies. Our spirits are as big as our dragon-selves, and right now, I’m feeling the most wonderful sensation of happiness and comfort. As I soar higher and higher, I feel the wind against my entire body. It’s a lovely feeling.
There’s a flight path I like to take. Sometimes I mix it up, but tonight, I just want to enjoy the same flight I always do, so I head toward the beach and fly low, over the waves of the ocean. The water crashes against my belly and I pull back up to the heavens.
Yes, I know I shouldn’t fly so close to the water. It’s not safe, after all, but I can’t quite help myself. I need to do something a little bit wild, a little bit dangerous, before I start to feel like my life is settling into a routine I can’t quite manage.
I’m worried, I realize.
I’m worried Matthew doesn’t want me anymore.
I’m worried he’s changed his mind about us.
I’m worried, and I don’t like to feel worried.
After a lap around the island, I return back to the house. I drop in the backyard and shift back, but before I can walk back up the porch steps and grab my clothes, I notice Matthew sitting outside on the porch.
“You look beautiful in the moonlight,” he tells me.
“Matthew?” I squeak out in a tiny voice. “What are you doing here?”
“Brooke is at my parents’ house for the night,” he says. “I think it’s time you and I spent a little bit of time alone together. Don’t you?”
“What are you saying?” I ask. Suddenly, my heart soars, and I realize that maybe all of my wild emotions were out of place.
“I’m saying that I’m sorry we haven’t had more time just the two of us,” he says. “I’ve been so excited to see Brooke that I’m worried I neglected you.”
Is this guy for real?
What kind of guy pays attention like that?
“You haven’t neglected me,” I tell him. “But I have been feeling a little down.”
“Because we haven’t had our moment yet.”
It’s not a question.
He just knows.
“Because we haven’t had our moment yet,” I confirm. I laugh lightly, shaking my head. “I have no idea how this whole thing is supposed to work, Matthew. I’ve never had a true mate before. I’ve just been making this all up as I go along, and I’m worried I’m not doing a very good job of it.”
“Jessica,” his voice deepens, and I look up at him. “You’re doing an incredible job. You know that, right? You had to face Michelle passing away all on your own, baby. You had to be there for Brooke even when you were hurting more deeply than I could possibly imagine. You did all of that without any help from anyone. You shouldn’t be worried, sweetheart. You should be proud.”
Then, just when I think my heart can’t swell any more, he kisses me. Matthew brings his mouth to mine, and he glides his tongue over my lips. He’s sweet, and gentle, but he holds me firmly against his body as he deepens the kiss. He lets me know, silently, that he’s in control of this moment.
He lets me know without words that he’s not going to let me down.
Not now.
Now ever.
Not when it comes to us.
“Jessica,” he whispers. The he picks me up and instead of going into the house, like I expect, he carries me toward the trees.
“Where are we going?” I ask quickly, looking around, but he just chuckles.
“Don’t you worry about that, princess. Don’t you worry one bit.”